How do you know if you're actually trans or just borderline?
My dad told me a couple days ago that he thinks I have borderline personality and I think he might be right.
- extreme sensitivity, I have a hard time taking any sort of criticism, I feel like my identity is being attacked and that everyone hates me
- Uncontrollable anger. I have a hard time with disappointment that sometimes leads to rage, but only if there is another person involved. Like if I'm alone and I want to go get a whopper and find out BK's closed, I'm just like "aw shit" and continue on with my day. But if me and a FRIEND want to get whoppers and I drive and we find out BK's closed, I feel like a fuckin asshole. I feel like I just ruined their day and that they're going to hate me. I would say that 99% of my anger issues are caused by me wanting to please or impress other people. When I'm doing something for myself, by myself, I never flip out.
- Dissociation, this has been happening, but ONLY AFTER I started questioning my gender. I've had a couple episodes in the past due to extreme anxiety but it's only gotten really bad recently.
- Self abuse, punching myself has always been an outlet for my anger, When my anger panic reaches a certain threshold I just start punching myself. I also recently cut myself because I thought my ribcage was too big for a (potential) girl and that people would hate me and think I'm ugly and a monster.
That's all the symptoms I exhibit. I have never felt "empty" in my life (maybe a few times but never chronically), I don't abuse drugs or waste money, I don't have abandonment issues but I definitely have a problem with trying to impress and please people and care way too much about what other people think of me. This confusion has been eating me up so bad, I'm already 21 so I know I'm running out the hon clock with HRT, and this fear of missing the boat and becoming a hon is driving me fucking NUTS
(1/2)
I know two things about being trans: 1. Male puberty freaks me out and makes me scared, it's not at all what I want and it upsets me a lot and 2. the idea of being a cis woman makes me absurdly happy, almost teary eyed, and I have no idea why. I can't imagine having sex as a woman and I can't picture myself as a woman either, but I know that I am chronically jealous of women and that the idea of being a woman feels strangely "correct" to me. It feels like the thing that has been missing from my life and like it's who I was always meant to be.
HOWEVER I hear stories about borderline people thinking the EXACT same thing, which concerns me and makes me feel like these feelings are false.
Sorry if this post is long and rambling, but I needed to get that out there and I desperately need advice. I'm so confused and scared of being a hon.
I'm not trans but I really wish I was a guy so I could be straight.
>>5356320
Have you seen a licensed professional?
>>5356320
>I only care about the opinions of those close to me
>rarely ever get angry
>only felt dissociated/self harmed before I transitioned
No
>>5356474
What no
What does no mean
>>5356320
Go see a therapist.
It's win-win.
If you are trans, that's the first step to getting on hormones.
If not, the therapy will at least help you figure it out.
Gonna bump for more opinions.
>>5356320
What do they have to do with eachother?
If you don't have abandonment issues, you aren't borderline. all the lying, the abuse, the gas lightning and manipulation and general craziness all stems from a fear of being abandoned, the borderline brain is really the most feminized form of the human brain though (i think), all women are borderline on a sliding scale most just don't have a personality disorder, just like sociopaths have the most masculine human brain, all men are sociopaths on a sliding scale
that's why women are crazy and men are assholes.
and count your blessings, you'll die alone if you really do have borderline personality disorder
>>5356320
I've actually got some very similar things going on mentally, but I didn't really ever learn about BPD until fairly recently, a few years after I began to transition. Since learning that it almost definitely applies to me as well, I've occasionally wondered similar things about whether or not being trans is just some dumb bullshit I've convinced myself of because I want attention or something. That being said, those sorts of doubts are fairly rare and usually seem pretty inaccurate for my own situation since I've never once actually regretted transitioning, I actually wish I'd pushed to transition before I turned 18, I'm always going to be bitter that I'm not a cis girl, and the thought of ever being forced to go off HRT for whatever reason terrifies me and would most likely push me to suicide within a few months.
And besides all that, being borderline and trans don't necessarily have to have anything to do with each other even even if BPD tends to exacerbate dysphoria. Bottom line, if you're willing to make the commitment and are certain it'll make you feel considerably less horrible, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't go for it.
Either way though, go to therapy definitely.
>>5356320
Get into therapy, likely best to get seen by a trauma specialist, and a gender therapist too. perfect if they are combined in the same therapist. Look for one that knows EMDR. BTW, when you first visit your therapist(s) hand them a copy of what you said in your two posts.
>>5356320
Transgenderism is a mental illness, but that doesn't mean that you're a bad person. You can get help for this sort of thing.
>>5362279
>sociopaths have the most masculine human brain
Not really. Both conditions are characterized by a natural intuition of human thoughts and motives. I think both could be described as a form of pathological femininity. Almost all the diagnostic criteria of one condition can fit the other depending on how they are framed. The only main difference is that borderlines tend to be less emotionally stable, a trait common to women in general.
