My trans girlfriend of 5 months just broke up with me after she finally built up the courage for sex. She'd only ever do mouth stuff before, and a few times we would dry hump while she masturbated under a blanket.
Naturally she is self concious about being pre-op and having a penis, something I never cared about because I love her and want her to be happy. She's always said that she doesn't mind having a penis, and plans to not get surgery, she just doesn't want to break the illusion of me thinking she's a girl. Which I've told her is silly because she was my girlfriend, I love her, and her body is my temple no matter what. She's not even like a lot of trans who I've talked to who only get off through butt play, she jerks off just as much as I do and admits it.
Anyway finally after 5 months of dating she told me we wanted me to see her fully naked, and she wanted us to have sex. After she took off all of her clothes in front of me she asked what I thought and I told her she was beautiful and that I love her.
(Cont.)
>>5335023
She was blushing, smiling, shaking, and crying and after I managed to calm her down I made she she wanted to continue and decided to keep it simple. I lay her down on the bed and after some kissing, touching, foreplay, and lubing we started fucking missionary. It was her first time outside of her dildos that are smaller than me she ever did anal, and she was busy gripping the blankets like her life depended on it. I noticed her penis was super erect and dripping with pre-cum. So I decided to stroke it a bit and make her feel good.
Suddenly she swiped my face with her nails and left a gash on my face, pushed me off her kicking and screaming, she got up started hastily putting clothes back on and stormed out the door. I tried to follow her but she threw a glass at me and hit me in the neck.
A few hours later I gave her a call and left a message asking if she wanted to talk. She texted me saying she never wanted to see or hear from me again.
What the fuck did I do wrong?
>>5335026
you dated a girl with bpd
>>5335040
She never had serious mood swings like this though, nothing that wasn't to be expected while on HRT at least. She'd get sad a lot, but she never hulked out.
We've only fought twice and both times it was over silly stuff that we got over after a couple hours.
>>5335026
>What the fuck did I do wrong?
She probably has really bad genital dysphoria and might think you're a chaser who's only interested in her dick or something. Try to get things straight with her and apologize and stuff. She also sounds a little nutty though so she might not listen
>>5335026
>What the fuck did I do wrong?
You dated a dude, faggot.
>>5335053
Waaaahhh, I don't want to remember I have a penis why would you play with it you only want me because you're really gay waaaahhh.
Guaranteed.
>>5335059
I went five months without sex proving that wasn't the case though. I shouldn't have to apologize. I mean, I will anyways because I love her but I don't know if I can keep up a relationship with a girl that has a self-destruct button.
I don't want to spam her inbox and shit, I tried calling her she won't return and she won't text me back. I'm going over to her place tomorrow but I don't expect much.
>>5335062
Well I don't think I'm going to date anymore mtfs if this doesn't smooth over, honestly.
you touched her dick. Always a mistake, you want to let her touch you with it.
>>5335026
yo mtf here. you dated a crazy bitch. try dating someone who is more comfortable with himself in the future.
>>5335079
Did you not discuss boundaries beforehand? If a transgirl puts off sex for months because she wants to be seen as a girl, maybe grabbing her dick without permission/consent isn't a good idea.
>>5335023
sounds like she thought you really just wanted to date her because she had a penis, because she is so incredibly insecure about people actually liking her for who she is etc.
she might get over it, she might not
>>5335026
trannies are mentally unstable, who would have guessed?
>>5335026
>So I decided to stroke it a bit and make her feel good.
This is what you did wrong. I'm trans and I have sex with my boyfriend all the time. Like many (but not all) trans women, we don't really like having a dick. I may not react quite like she did, but I'd certainly be upset if my boyfriend tried to involve mine in sex in any way.
Ask first. You'll likely get an answer one way or another with a far less chance of a bad reaction.
>>5335101
>mtf here.
>more comfortable with himself
You sound cool to me, anon.
>>5335105
>Did you not discuss boundaries beforehand
yeah I'm also surprised you guys didn't talk about this. When I started getting sexual with my boyfriend we immediately outlined that I didn't want anything done with my penis
is it preferable to go for post-dick transgirls or is it really an issue if you don't have a preference
>>5335072
It's sad. I wish all the hugboxes about trans stuff included a little more emotional support and advice on this issue. She is throwing away a relationship with a great guy purely because of an internal narrative rather than how OP seems to feel.
This self sabotaging chaserphobia reminds me a lot of back when I went after unavailable women so I didn't have to accept being gay.
>>5335135
>I went after unavailable women so I didn't have to accept being gay.
Thanks anon, I think I'm going to try this.
[spoiler]I'm a grill.[/spoiler]
>>5335026
>What the fuck did I do wrong?
by dating a basket case
you touched her somewhere she's highly uncomfortable with... granted you both probably should've talked about it first, so her level of discomfort could've been known... and she probably should've told you that was a limit she had cuz you're not psychic... but yeah... not every transperson can handle that shit...
but if you wanna make it better tell her you fucked up, apologize, tell her you didn't understand, but that you've had time to think and you see what you did wrong...tell her you love her, think she's beautiful, and that you wanted to make her feel good... reassure her that she's a woman to you and always will be etc etc etc tell her you will never touch her in a way that she isn't ok with, and that you regret not asking first but you got caught up in the moment etc etc etc maybe buy her something thoughtful + flowers and other assorted stereotypical gf gifts (i just feel like a transchick would probably appreciate shit like that more than a cis chick cuz they're getting the gf experience which they want and a lot don't get) and then idk man... if it doesn't work just let that shit go and if you ever meet up with another transgirl just kinda ask before you touch just in case...
honest mistake but yeah...
Um.. when you date a "transgirl" you are essentially dating someone that has been diagnosed with a mental illness (Gender Dysphoria).
Abuse is something you should expect. It's like dating someone with depression then getting upset when they have no motivation to do anything.
>>5335163
+ i'm a transguy who's cool with pretty much whatever with sex so i can't really tell you what's going through her head completely... but i mean... i figure if you just handle her the way all chicks like to be handled when there's a relationship issue you're good...
so you know a lot of "it's all my fault" "i'm sorry i'm so thoughtless" and then like throw some gifts at it, and plan a romantic date... shit you fucked up to the point where i say if she agrees to see you again after the initial wave of shit you gotta like pull some shit like buy her a nice dress and take her somewhere nice that you wouldn't normally go and follow that up with something less stereotypical so it also feels romantic...
but never tell her that she could've avoided the whole thing had she just been like "let's have sex but please don't touch me i'm not ok with it" beforehand... no admission that she's partially at fault ever...
>>5335121
so she's cool for being an uncle tom? interesting.
>>5335214
sarcasm anon... i didn't even say it, but that's definitely sarcasm...
>>5335123
>because i'm fucking crazy
ftfy
>>5335026
Don't grab without asking, it's not implied just because she doesn't want surgery
>>5335260
unless you said "cool" and meant it literally that's kinda sarcasm... if you think it's funny then i assume you don't think it's actually cool so... yeah maybe i'm missing something, fuck it i'm hungover and don't care
>>5335328
>if you think it's funny then i assume you don't think it's actually cool so
Yes, you are missing something.
I'll spell it out.
Anon said
'I'm a mtf'
'Next time date someone more comfortable with himself'
Anon knew OP was talking about a mtf, but called her/him a him.
This is funny to me. Not funny in the 'ironic' sjw way.
No, this is funny to me because obviously the anon mtf doesn't take it so damn seriously about FUCKING PRONOUNS
>>5335214
hey, original anon here. uncle tom isn't the word I would use. I have xy chromosomes and a dick, I think of myself as male. I like to think I'm just being honest. I like it when I'm treated like a woman but I won't lie if its necessary information.
>>5335376
oh i get why it's funny... i just don't get how saying "you're cool" as a response to it isn't sarcasm...
but like i said i don't care enough to derail the thread and i'm pretty hungover so it's really whatever... you can spell more out for me i guess but really... who cares?
>>5335395
>i just don't get how saying "you're cool" as a response to it isn't sarcasm...
Maybe you should stop assuming everything is bait.
I was saying he is cool as in I LIKE THIS ANON and I think s/he is a cool guy/chick.
It's really simply, honestly.
>>5335079
>I shouldn't have to apologize.
bad attitude. You were the one who ended up over the line by touching her dick. My own dick dysphoria is mild. It just makes me mildly depressed if I thrust. On the other hand some are very distressed by theirs.
As mentioned by others, some MtFs have bad dysphoria about thier genitals.
>>5335134
SRS is not universally covered by insurance and still is expensive to have even if it is covered.
>>5335447
>OP lets her wait 5 months before sex
>OP respects her and loves her
>OP doesn't act disgusted by her
>OP just wants her to feel good during their first time having sex
>She wants to keep her dick
>She jacks off and uses it
>She's willing to get fucked missionary and have her hard cock bouncing around in front of him
>She never said she wasn't comfortable with touching it, and in fact implied the opposite by wanting to have sex that night at all
>OP is the bad guy who went over the line for touching it
And this is why nobody but chasers want to date transexuals.
>>5335476
Yeah man she was totally asking for it. Just go for it, deep down they love it anyways. Fucking cunts, right.
>>5335491
>getting this butt-blasted about it
>>5335023
>After she took off all of her clothes in front of me she asked what I thought and I told her she was beautiful and that I love her.
>>5335528
>>5335541
I shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did.
You sound really nice OP. I wouldn't freak out if you touch my girltinkler. So you doing anything tonight? :3
>>5335491
Why not just say you're not comfortable with it? OP seems like he would have respected that.
Two seconds of communication could have saved her whatever rape PTSD she's inventing about herself.
If you're taking your clothes off and spreading your legs for somebody, you should expect that they're going to assume everything is off limits.
>>5335417
it's more that i assumed you weren't completely stupid... my bad... next time i won't give some random anon so much credit, thanks for setting me straight...
>>5335581
Don't. It's nowhere near as good as the others.
>>5335591
lame
>>5335588
>you weren't completely stupid
Coming from the faggot who uses ellipses because he can't form a definite sentence.
Coming from the faggot who can't simply comprehend "You're cool, anon."
>>5335580
>So you doing anything tonight? :3
Probably just gonna regret what happened tonight and try to figure out how I'm going to salvage this relationship if she isn't over it tomorrow morning.
>>5335476
it is partially her fault for assuming he was psychic, but... it doesn't matter whose fault it is... when your gf is mad at you whether or not it's irrational if you give a shit you just suck it up, accept full blame, and try to have a nice time with them instead...
it doesn't matter whose fault something is... not actually... especially if you wanna make shit right... you just let it go, and give her what she wants... tell her what she wants to hear, and make her happy... no point in being deadset on being right when you could be happy and getting laid instead...
>>5335599
Told you it would be.
>>5335606
eh, i like drugs and alcohol a lot expecting me to simply comprehend everything (particularly text with no tone behind it) is an error on your part... i still think you're stupid though... and i'm sure the feeling is mutual... i'm ok with this, let's move on...
>>5335610
>when your gf is mad at you whether or not it's irrational if you give a shit you just suck it up, accept full blame, and try to have a nice time with them instead...
OP.... said..... he........... would....... apologize......... anyways......... but......... he's......................... right............ he............. shouldn't............. have.......... to...........
>>5335616
>>5335621
>i like drugs and alcohol a lot expecting me to simply comprehend everything (particularly text with no tone behind it) is an error on your part
Get the fuck out of here you troll.
>>5335623
well he isn't 100% right... if a chick made me wait 5 months to fuck her cuz she's trans i'd probably ask what she was cool with first
shit i've had that conversation within 5 minutes of first speaking to someone idk how you even go 5 months without it...
so he should apologize yeah... shouldn't have to accept full blame, except with chicks sometimes you gotta...
Had a similar experience, personally.
Dated an ftm pre-everything. As a bisexual I was totally okay and explained that I didn't mind what he had and that I would care for him no matter what.
Anyway, it only took until the heavy petting phase for him to push me away and tell me how it was over; no explanation given. No messages from him since.
...I miss him so much.
>>5335631
i offered solid advice about getting her back... you know relevant to the thread type shit... that's not trolling
>>5335639
>well he isn't 100% right... if a chick made me wait 5 months to fuck her cuz she's trans i'd probably ask what she was cool with first
Sounds like OP assumed this whole 5 month wait for his dickgirl gf to get over her having a dick, and her decision for him to finally be able to see her dick was going to end with..........
..............
....................
.......
..............
.....................
........... her being okay with her dick............
>>5335685
yeah the thing about assuming... as seen here: >>5335223
is it doesn't always work out... unless you're in someone's head you just can't know for sure...
and seeing isn't the same as touching... and it's really easy to be like "what are you cool with?" during that five months... like i said i've had that conversation within five minutes it's real easy...
this is a transchick with obvious body issues, it should've been brought up by one of them beforehand... i don't think he's 100% wrong, but i mean when shit is as simple as asking a question and he didn't well... can't exactly be 100% right either in that case
she should've said something, he should've asked... she overreacted, but clearly it's something that distresses her well past the point of reason...
>>5335715
................... .......... .......... .... ........................................... ..... ................... ........... ......... ... .................. ................... .........................................
>>5335716
you forgot to add some words in there... does that mean that what i actually said was solid? i don't wanna assume that's why you can only comment on the way i type at this point... but it's hard not to when i know i'm right...
>>5335733
............. ................. ... .......
>>5335144
No idea wat. I was speaking to you as a fellow anon who sees the folly of trans self loathing as shown by OP. I wasn't taking about your life.
>>5335023
post pic of ex
>>5335752
You're replying to the wrong anon, friend.
I just made that comment because
[spoiler]I thought it was funny.[/spoiler]
>>5335754
I honestly just can't read his posts because his horrible overuse of ellipsis. I feel like I'm arguing with somebody who just swallowed a bottle of xanax.
>>5335769
Forgot picture.
>>5335754
oh i know what they're doing, it's just i also know when someone just goes on about the way i type instead of hating the content it's cuz the content is solid...
i've gotten plenty of shit for having this habit, it's pretty whatever...
>>5335770
i fucking wish i had a bottle of xanax... been a long time, and benzos are my second favourite drug
>>5335376
I assumed here.
>>5335383
I was confirmed here.
>>5335754
I assumed here.
>>5335770
I was confirmed here.
I am on fucking fire tonight, friends.
>>5335805
That's harsh, anon.
And,
>containment board
?
Have you never seen oh I don't know, the main three?
/b/
/pol/
/r9k/
>>5335813
/b/ is to contain edgy underage, /pol/ is to contain stormfags, /r9k/ is to contain the edgy underage who slip out of /b/.
/mlp/ contains ponies, /r/ contains requests, etc. etc.
/lgbt/ contains degenerates.
it's not difficult to........ figure......... out......................
>>5335805
i'm pretty apathetic about it desu... and i imagine you haven't talked to everyone on the board, so i feel like accepting the title would be premature at this point... i'm assuming...
>>5335830
to be honest* my bad... i always forget about that desu shit...
>>5335830
Nah, trust me. You win by a landslide.
Learn to type and stop hiding your shit personality behind drugs.
>>5335026
>what the fuck did I do wrong?
you were born m8
>>5335842
pretty sure if my personality was shit so many people wouldn't find me charming... i know hard for you to believe i'm sure, but people usually love me or hate me with not much in between i'm ok with that...
and i'm not hiding anything, that's why i'm open about things i enjoy and my hobbies...
>>5335828
>/lgbt/ contains degenerates
Or you could just see it as a place for fags to talk about their legbutt life?
No one ever tells people to go to
>>>/lgbt/
That's how you know it's a containment board, faggot.
Request?
Go to >>>/r/
Jews?
>>>/pol/
Again, no one ever says take your shit to /lgbt/.
>it's not difficult to........ figure......... out......................
>No one ever tells people to go to
>>>/lgbt/
People say that all the time anon.
>>5335864
Bullshit.
If you want a simpler answer, red boards are containment boards.
Blue boards are interest boards.
No one says /sci/ is a containment board for all the (bigger) nerds on 4chan.
>>5335923
Whatever, I guess I'll have to take your word for it.
>>5335923
Not that guy, but people just give the /lgbt/ redirect to call people faggots. It's not really a containment board or anything. /out/ is only used because of the spelling. The board itself is not a containment or anything either.
>>5335955
>checked
It should be...4chins has been ruined by literal faggots in literal denial
>b-but I'm not a fag, I only like feminine penis like a true patrician
Should force them all here where they belong
Op, just so you know, just because trans people fap doesnt mean they don't have genital dysphoria. When you're horny sometimes you just have to do it to get it over with and off your mind. And touching yourself is way different from being touched by someone else.
>>5335978
>defending a tranny
>>5335987
nice meme
>>5335999
nice trips
>>5336057
thanks for checking
>>5335026
You got with a crazy tranny, rather than a stable one.
Odds are she was purposefully overreacting to you touching her penis. When my GF gets dysphoric about her penis, and I touch it, she just loses desire for sex and such things, but doesn't get mad at me or do crazy shit like your ex just did.
You're better off without her, OP. There are other trannies out there for you, who aren't batshit crazy and 420% sjw tublr-tier garbage who treats the word tranny like blacks treat the word nigger, and purposefully overreacts the moment someone touches their penis.
If she comes crawling back to you, say no to her. What a fucking wreck.
>>5336073
>420% sjw tublr-tier garbage who treats the word tranny like blacks treat the word nigger
But blacks call each other nigger all the time.
>>5336073
Going to add, I'm an MtF myself - and I truly think you should disregard anyone telling you that you did something wrong and should apologize to her, etc.
The only viable solution for you is to dump her, and find a new GF. Forget about her - she's going to be a crazy fuck - nobody acts like that without being a crazy fuck.
>>5336080
They typically don't like it when a white person calls them a nigger, though. That's my point. His GF massively overreacted, in a show for attention and "muh trans* points!!"
>>5336099
No sane, stable person reacts like that to a touch - no matter how dysphoric it makes them feel. She should have calmly talked about it, or just simply said "no" but instead massively overreacted and in fact assaulted the OP. She is 100% in the wrong. It is entirely her fault for not making sure OP knew not to touch her benis. It is entirely her fault things had to go that way. She is not a stable person, and OP shouldn't put up with a crazy bitch like that. There are much better fish in the sea, OP, don't fall for that idiot.
>>5336115
if everything else was between them was good, and she had a meltdown once during something sexual... and he loves her... well second chances and all that...
people do stupid regretable shit sometimes... having a no tolerance policy for huge mistakes is a good way to end up a really lonely person... or at least one who's never in a long term relationship...
>>5336145
I've got a zero tolerance policy in effect myself, and I've had nothing but wonderful partners. If my GF did something like that to me, it'd hurt me, but I'd leave her - because something -that- crazy shows strong defects underneath that will lead to further problems. The fact that she couldn't fuck him for 5 whole months is another big red flag. This is not a stable person.
>>5336192
Having a meltdown doesn't automatically make you crazy. Sure if you walk in on your gf getting banged by a bunch of black dudes, by all means leave her, but having a zero tolerance on everything seems shortsighted.
>>5336205
>having a meltdown doesn't automatically make you crazy
No, it automatically makes you unstable. No good partner on this Earth will -ever- have a meltdown. Ever.
>>5335023
>After she took off all of her clothes in front of me she asked what I thought and I told her she was beautiful and that I love her.
>She was blushing, smiling, shaking, and crying and after I managed to calm her down I made she she wanted to continue
Cutest and most romantic thing I've ever fucking read. How could she not appreciate the fucking gem of a boyfriend she has?
I'd let you do whatever the fuck you wanted to my girl benis OP, holy fuck.
I'm actually agitated by how she acted.
>>5336192
>The fact that she couldn't fuck him for 5 whole months is another big red flag. This is not a stable person.
i mean i'm all for people having a healthy sex life but there isn't anything wrong with people not wanting to have all-out sex until they've been with somebody for a while. different people go at different speeds and have different sexual comfort levels.
>>5336145
+ 5 months is a long time to wait for sex in a relationship... i think anyway...longest i've ever waited was a week... so i imagine her dysphoria was pretty hardcore about the whole thing... she was probably already in a weird place having sex and touching probably made it worse... sex is a deeply personal thing, some people have issues with it, and sometimes extreme issues can manifest in less than desirable ways...
i've been in a relationship for 11 years and still going... and honestly, sometimes you just gotta accept someone's damage... that's just part of loving someone and being with them... if this is something she just kinda does constantly then not giving her a second chance would make sense, but if it's an isolated incident then big fucking deal
>>5336213
That a ridiculous standard. People have their sensitive spots and make mistakes.
>>5336214
Not op but please tell me you're a britfag
>>5336225
>+ 5 months is a long time to wait for sex in a relationship... i think anyway...longest i've ever waited was a week
if that's what you like and are comfortable with, that's fine, but sexuality varies and that wouldn't be healthy or appropriate for some people. it's not like they weren't doing anything sexual; as the op said they had been doing lighter sexual activities. that's totally normal
>>5336192
sexual issues don't equate with someone being horrible to date otherwise or unworthy... and like i said, i bet you haven't been in a longterm relationship with that policy...
so regardless of how many partners you've had that have been perfect or whatever clearly it hasn't lasted...
personally i think people who have no tolerance policies are unrealistic as fuck...
>>5336206
second chances aren't the same as repeatedly forgiving shit (which i said was different)
>>5336213
lol well that's just not true, people all have breaking points and go through shit...
>>5336229
>People have their sensitive spots and make mistakes.
-and those people are bad dating material.
>>5336248
i wasn't judging... i said that cuz i think waiting a long time (i said "i think" cuz i'm unsure if it's more that i don't wait long at all... and it's all subjective/relative isn't it?) makes it really obvious that she had a lot of issues with sex...
and i just don't think someone who has a lot of obvious issues and discomfort and needs to feel that sure about shit having a meltdown when something they aren't ok with happens during is this horrible strike against them... that's all, i just think having a zero tolerance policy for someone like her would be pretty unreasonable...
>>5336268
yeah because the hallmark of a perfectly sane, happy, healthy, and stable person is posting on 4chan
>>5336257
Would you consider 2 years long? That's my current relationship. Previous was 2 years 7 months. Previous to that was 1 year 5 months.
You're making it too black and white - you don't know what my "no-tolerance" taboo-actions are. Assaulting me and running off, ignoring me, telling me they don't want to contact me anymore is most certainly one of those no-tolerance actions.
You're probably a virgin or desperate if you'd be willing to tolerate that shit.
People with breaking points like the one described in OP could be described as "hair trigger" and should be avoided. Furthermore not everyone has breaking points and a bunch of psychological baggage.
>>5336268
everyone has shit wrong with them... ever meet someone who has zero tolerance policies and high standards when they hit 50?
>>5336289
Instead of name calling, how about you bring up some actual points to support your claim? It sounds to me like you're just projecting. There is nothing wrong with using 4chan, not that this is my imageboard of choice.
>>5336294
Again, you do not know exactly what I don't tolerate. You're just treating it as a blanket thing, where the moment they sneeze, I break up with them - which is retarded.
If someone treated me like OP got treated, I'd be breaking up with them. It's stupid to go after someone who not only assaulted you, but also overreacted so massively, and pulls the silent treatment. Fucking childish.
>>5336229
>People have their sensitive spots
We're not cats, we really shouldn't. And if you do, let them know. OR OR OR, don't spread your fucking legs and show off your sensitive spot while it throbs, drips with pre-cum, and begs for attention.
OP didn't state it, but by the way he described her dick I assume he's a little bi even if he doesn't really think about it. He probably found it attractive to see her cock rock solid bouncing up and down, pre-cum dripping onto her belly.
He grabbed her cock and wanted to make it feel good because she said she was comfortable with it now, and she attacked him physically.
>>5336293
no i don't consider 2 years long... that seems average for a non serious relationship
i've been with my s/o for 11 years, i consider 5+ long, and i think living together is important...
personally i wouldn't have waited 5 months unless she was cool with me seeing other people... so i wouldn't even be in this situation...
however, i think if you love someone and can feel empathy for their situation and understand some of the shit they're going through that a single meltdown isn't a big deal...
and op does still want her... obviously he can forgive it and liked her otherwise... shit happens, he can move past it... doesn't matter if you could or not
in all honesty i probably wouldn't be in that position though cuz i like to be up front about sex and boundaries cuz i'm into bdsm and whatnot and i like knowing if i'm wasting my time or not...
>>5335026
>What the fuck did I do wrong?
Based on your story, I think it was the part where you stroked her wiener. Nigga that's gay. Way to make that girl feel like a manly gay man :^(
>>5336306
did i say that? or even make it sound that way... i'm only judging based on you making her having a meltdown over something sexual and dysphoria inducing... that's pretty damn different than sneezing
and calling is assault just comes off as dramatic to me desu...
>>5335026
Don't stick your dick in crazy. Oldest rule in the book.
>>5336341
over you making it into such a big deal i mean... i forgot like half that sentence my bad... my point is sexual shit can be touchy for some people... and well... dysphoria doesn't help...
so she had a bit of a meltdown big deal... it all sounds like a seriously bad panic reaction, and so?
>>5336115
Imagine if you had a buzzing in your ear 24/7. No way you can ignore it either. That is a good analogy for what gender dysphoria is like for a transgender. After awhile that will drive you nuts.
>>5335026
Dude, if she harms you physically instead of letting you know you're going over the line, and asking you to knock it off, you're definitely better without her.
>>5335978
OP here, if there is one thing I've learned is that what trans people think varies wildly from trans person to trans person. I have a couple mtf friends that advise me about her because she doesn't like talking about it (she was obsessed with the idea of me having this 'illusion' of her being a "regular girl", as if I didn't already think she was).
The mtf friends I have have opposite opinions about their penises. One I only know online says only gets off through buttplay and no-hands stuff because she doesn't like her penis, and is saving up for SRS. The other I guess you could say more like the porn stereotype of a trans woman? She loves having a penis and talks about it like she's a man. "That can suck my dick.", "That makes me fucking hard.", and shit like that. It's partly for comedy because she passes really well and looks cute and tiny, doesn't match her dudebro potty mouth. Maybe it's a side effect of her being into girls, I don't know.
Anyway they both told me basically the same thing. "If she wants to keep it and uses it herself to get off than she's accepted it as part of your body and she's ready she shouldn't mind you touching it."
>>5336309
I do admit my mind kinda got away from me. Don't they say the penis is a sexual trigger for men? I've got a lot of experience giving handjobs, even if they were just to myself. So instinct just sort of kicked in when I saw her so hard like that. The whole point of waiting 5 months was for her to get comfortable with me and remove the red tape around her crotch so that we didn't have to dance around it all the time. That's what we talked about.
>>5336388
Tinnitus is pretty rough desu
>>5336341
>face scratching
>throwing hard object
Yeah totally not assault bruh.
The point of it all is that I wouldn't tolerate the shit OP has put up with. Sounds like you've probably had the same partner all these years and likely no others, or few others. You could be putting up with all sorts of shit for all I know, just to not be single. I'd rather be single than deal with crazy.
>>5336350
>Oldest rule in the book.
It really is, OP.
>>5336388
I'm trans myself - I know all about dysphoria first hand - I started taking hormones 7 years ago, and I can tell you this - transitioning dramatically lessens dysphoria, until its almost gone, unless youre stuck in hon mode.
The shit OP's gf did is completely inexcusable. I never would react like that to my benis getting touched, and nobody should
>>5336431
first off who hasn't had a chick throw something at them? it's not that serious...
second of all... yeah she had a panicked fight or flight reaction in a situation that was clearly stressful... she was already anxious about sex, and he touched her in a way she wasn't ok with... no shit her head was in a bad place, but given the circumstances that shit's pretty forgivable...
what you're talking about is the equivalent of going around saying someone assaulted you cuz they threw a punch at you for scaring them... some people just react that way to being scared, it happens... you brush it off and don't get dramatic about it...
i've had other people during the relationship... we're open... the worst shit i've dealt with when it comes to my s/o has been his mother and not him... and that's mostly over now so eh...
i wouldn't be alone if him and i broke up though... i have other people i could date instead... i love him though so yeah...
just cuz i understand that people can do crazy shit when under extreme stress and don't fault a transgirl for having a shit reaction to being surprised by being touched sexually in an uncomfortable way, doesn't mean i would tolerate anything... it's likely she felt molested by that and betrayed... i think a conversation should be had, and that forgiveness is possible... it's an easily avoidable situation and doesn't need a repeat...
if she acted like that cuz he slept on the wrong side of the bed or came home late then yeah... fine you'd be right, but sex + dysphoria changes shit
>>5336225
>sometimes you just gotta accept someone's damage...
This is so very true. I don't think I've ever had a partner that didn't have at least one hangup of some sort. Note, I've only ever had cis partners.
>>5336450
yeah i'm trans too (transguy not mtf) and i'm fine with sex completely cuz if something feels good then it feels good and i can enjoy it without thinking... but i'm not her... there's different levels of dysphoria and everyone reacts differently to shit, that's just the way things work...
saying "i would never" is pointless and doesn't really change that she did... and without knowing what was going on in her head (or is currently going on there) there's no reason to judge... people make dumb mistakes and have bad reactions sometimes... i'm sure you've done regretable shit, who hasn't? just cuz it wasn't this particular thing doesn't mean shit...
>>5336484
>who hasn't had a chick throw something at them?
Me. With 3 separate girlfriends, 4 if you include my current MtF girlfriend. My ex-BF never threw anything, either.
This is no way comparable to getting punched for scaring someone. Someone touching your penis doesn't scare you - it could only make you feel like shit, but should never incite physical violence.
>we're open
Okay, so I can just completely disregard all of your opinions on relationships, in that case. No wonder you're fine with such crazy shit, kek.
>>5336518
I used to not be so cool with my penis being there. I still would only lose arousal - I'd never attack someone over dysphoria and do such mean things to someone who loved me, no matter what the reason is. There is absolutely reason to judge - what she did is hurtful towards the one she loved - and extremely excessive, considering all he did was touch her penis. No matter how extreme your dysphoria is, what she did is a complete overreaction.
>>5335079
>>5335199
Good advice
Honestly though OP it's a crapshoot. Maybe going over uninvited is a bad idea. I at least wouldn't appreciate it and I think she just needs space to process what just happened. It doesn't sound like she's going to start dating/fucking some other guy anytime soon if that's what you're worried about. You have nothing to lose by giving her some time alone.
>>5336671
if she's like us she could be suicidal right now. i'd be worried about that.
>>5336805
This. So much this.
>>5335079
>I shouldn't have to apologize.
You really shouldn't, it's entirely her fault for not setting the boundaries and not behaving like a human being, especially if she gives a shit about you.
>Well I don't think I'm going to date anymore mtfs
That's a really fucking dumb generalization to make
>>5336812
>That's a really fucking dumb generalization to make
While I do agree with you that it's a dumb generalization, I can't really blame him for making it - a lot of us are really fucking stupid and do all sorts of crazy shit like this. On top of it, a lot of MtFs love to overreact about shit like this, and are having a constant pity-party over being trans.
I think it's mostly this "batch" of trannies from the past 2-3 years or so, that are like this. I've been at it for 7 years, and most of the ones from around then are much more realistic, not a constant pity-party, and much cooler in general.
>>5336832
Yeah I get that you'd be wary towards trannies, I'm wary towards anyone from LGBT/tumblr because better safe than sorry.
The it gets under my skin that people clump me in with wackos like OP's case because of one characteristic we have in common. Hooking up is already hard enough, I really don't want to die alone just because other trannies somehow give me a bad rep.
>>5336849
I think that exact thought made me start bullying trannies.
There's a local LGBT group soon and I feel I have some incentive to go only to make fun of em.
I know I should feel shitty for that, but truth is, It feels pretty justified.
>>5336858
The more you give them shit for being a bunch of retards the more they can cry victim and validate their own existence. As nice as it feels it's a double-edged sword.
>>5336858
I bully trannies myself, even though I am one - just be weary of the rare one that crops up who is alright. Not only will your bullying be ineffective, it'll likely backfire on you, or you'll wind up with a new tranny friend who is cool.
>>5336889
That'd be awesome, lol. Not sure I really wanna do it, I just find it's something I feel towards meeting other trannies. Doesn't help I start stuttering when I'm upset, but omg all the bullshit they talk in their groups, it's mind blowing.
>>5336882
Not sure how they're gonna pull that card when it's another tranny bullying em.
>>5336899
>Not sure how they're gonna pull that card when it's another tranny bullying em.
If it's online then they just say you're lying, it's the same mental gymnastics they used to discredit the 'not your shield' people. Irl they will never ever face you or just get a megaphone to yell over you.
>>5336612
eh i've had chicks i wasn't dating throw shit at me too... like i said it's whatever... and i don't think the hitting in this context is a big deal... again if it happened over him being 10 minutes late or something completely ridiculous and not at all understandable on any level i would see things differently, but i still wouldn't judge him if he wanted to make shit work...
my s/o and i have lived together for 10 years, and we weren't open for the first 7 years... well we were, but not in practice so yeah... and when i have gone outside of the relationship it's been us sharing... disregarding my relationship or thoughts simply cuz it's not 100% traditional is pretty ridiculous...
this isn't about what i would deal with though... it's about what op would deal with, and it isn't about you either...
and no one cares what you would do, clearly she was under more stress than you...
in all honesty even a couples therapist wouldn't say "she fucked up really bad and hit you once leave" cuz that's honestly not a defining factor in a relationship (and you can look this up if you'd like) and i guarantee the context of the situation would make it different as well...
some people aren't themselves when they panic or are under extreme stress... that's just reality... the shit you're saying about yourself or your short term girlfriends is of no value in this clearly different situation
you don't know what you're talking about in all honesty...
should have laid some ground rules. I don't know why one wouldn't expect such a thing
>>5335376
TRY BEING A MEMBER OF A CLASS OF PEOPLE WHO THE CULTURE AT LARGE CONSTANTLY TRIES TO PUT DOWN AND ERASE. YOU MIGHT CARE A LITTLE MORE ABOUT PRONOUNS IF EVERYONE WAS CONSTANTLY TRYING TO DISRESPECT YOU AND YOUR IDENTITY YOU PIECE OF SHIT. I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU. GET OFF THE INTERNET BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
>>5335023
>>5335026
basically OP that person was crazy as FUCK
A lot of trans people are diagnosed as CRAZY AS FUCK
The trick here is****DON'T DATE TRANS PEOPLE****
*** DO NOT INTERACT WITH TRANS PEOPLE ***
*** DO NOT INTERACT WITH TRANS PEOPLE ***
*** DO NOT INTERACT WITH TRANS PEOPLE ***
*** DO NOT INTERACT WITH TRANS PEOPLE ***
>>5337241
I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU AND INTERACT WITH YOU. STOP MAKING MY LIFE ANY HARDER, CUNTBAG.
Also, OP, you touch penis. Big nono.
I'm sorry that you fell in love with one of the more mentally unstable ones.
>>5335026
Holy shit I love 4chan
>>5335023
I thought that was john balance.
>>5335101
Agreed. So many crazy mtfs. Meanwhile I just want some nsa sex like a normal early twenties anyone
You dated an immature retard.
Signed mtf.
>>5336899
Same here. Whenever iv been in tranny groups it feels like I'm taking crazy pills with all their doublespeak and bullshit
>itt i'm not like the other mtfs
>>5335023
>her body is my temple
you body colonizing shitlord, it's HER temple not yours
>tfw all the crazy ones are born with the genetics to pass AND look cute
>you don't pass so your existence is worthless and your opinion on anything is worthless compared to the pretty ones who actually get to have normal straight relationships
just kill me
>>5335026
It sounds like you overstepped your boundaries. I am non-op mtf and not crazy. I can get erect but the idea of someone touching it makes me nauseated not to mention it doesn't feel that nice like stimulation of my other parts so don't even bother.
>>5337515
Hey if you don't pass you may not be ok with it but someone will be. Maybe they still think you're cute.
>>5337491
>you body colonizing shitlord
Lmfao, that cracked me up.
>>5335059
>her dick
>get things straight
>nutty
kek
>>5337673
fuck off you gross crossdressing fetishist, you aren't even trans
https://fgts.jp/b/thread/653560363/#653563763
"how about miss cock? she is a good girl"
lol get rekt
>>5337687
wow you are an asshole and a stalker, whats the fun if being a girl if you can't troll the retards on /b/?
>>5335026
>her
>penis
>>5337679
Kek indeed
>>5337698
>you
>girl
>>5337721
I don't have to prove my trans-ness to you fuck head.
>>5337750
you can't, you proved yourself to be nothing but a sad confused dude with a fetish long time ago so save your time and go fap in your mom's panties, asslord
>>5337760
I think I know who you are but its not getting to me because I know who I am.
>>5337796
yeah you are a sick gross man with steve buscemi eyes who wants to start living full time as a submissive housewife sissy to get his socks off
>>5337809
Wow I guess you are actually jealous of me.
>>5337796
Different person. Kayla you and your whole story iv heard from you make me sick and you should stop being a representive of trans people. No one is jealous of you, even though that's what you crave
>>5337575
I am cute I just don't look female. Guys want me but I want masc straight type guys
>My trans girlfriend
>trans
Well there's your problem, OP.
Ditch the lunatic and find an actual woman before this mental case actually murders you.
>>5335026
>She was blushing, smiling, shaking, and crying and after I managed to calm her down
>I made she she wanted to continue
That is where the big mistake was made. >shaking, and crying
Sorry, don't continue when that happens with any sex partner.
Years ago I went out with a rape and abuse victim. First time we got into bed together, she was very much like your gf was. Instead of trying to continue with sex, I just held her gently and we talked about it. In the morning we did successfully have sex for the first time. I let her set the pace and decide what was done. Ultimately our relationship didn't work out, but it wasn't for sexual reasons. She's still a good friend and confidant.
>So I decided to stroke it a bit and make her feel good.
You never just grab the junk.
That is an extraordinarily bad idea.
>>5340271
I think OP is saying she was freaking out in nervousness and excitement that she finally showed her entire self to him and he accepted her. Besides he says he calmed her down and asked her if she still wanted to continue.
You don't get to accuse OP of not letting her set the pace, when he waited 5 months for her to say, "Let's fuck."
>>5336812
>That's a really fucking dumb generalization to make
I get it though. Sounds like OP's relationship with her was really good for 5 whole months before she went nuclear.
I don't think OP is saying all trans are like this, as much as he's saying he doesn't feel like taking that risk anymore.
As scary as it sounds to say, if you're looking for a more stable relationship cis women are the safer option. Even if women are loopy hell rides.
>>5335023
>she just doesn't want to break the illusion of me thinking she's a girl. Which I've told her is silly
That was probably your warning sign right there.
>her body is my temple
*tips fedora*
>So I decided to stroke it a bit
Should've set boundaries, you can't be faulted for not knowing. Unlike what liberals think, sex where every step of the way is "Can I do...?" is not attractive or intimate whatsoever.
>she swiped my face
Honestly, to react like that if you've been together for some time and having waited that long to engage in sex is out of line. If there was really something between you, that's something that--yes, might have stopped the sex--but unless there is a willingness to communicate that, then that's a load of shit.
Honestly, I kind of get this vibe that it was all some act to reinforce the "illusion" that they were a girl. They probably weren't really ready, and that whole penile sensation might have shook that. But still, if there was a ton of fapping/mutual masturbation going on, that's kind of leading you on.
Estrogen is a fucking insane hormone in both women and trans.
>So I decided to stroke it a bit
don't do this if you don't want your face clawed off dummy
>>5335023
>>5335026
Holy shit, that's hilarious.
>>5342059
I really wonder who would even date a mtf when they sound more and more like a fucking bomb.
>>5342118
but if a mtf says it before hand that she doesn't want to be touched there then why do people like OP get surprised this happens when they touch it?
>>5335101
The fact that you are comfortable with your sex shows me part of your personality. You seem confident.
>>5342141
>getting your face clawed being kicked and having glasses thrown at you because you touched someone's dick while fucking
Again why would someone date such a thing? It's like walking on a minefield.
>>5335163
Why are so many MtF trans people not okay with having their cock touched, but so many females are okay with having their clit touched?
>>5342169
>cock=clit
American education everyone
>>5342200
>boys=girls
trannies, everyone
>>5342200
They both develop from the same tissues.
>>5342200
actually it's the same tissue that may develop into either a cock or a clit depending on the baby sex
>>5342200
>>5342211
Mtf here. Rkt desu senpai
>>5342169
It has to do with dysphoria, and growing up with the wrong genitalia down there. You really begin to hate it, and anything that reminds you of it triggers you. I've come to the conclusion strong persistent enough dysphoria is capable of causing c-ptsd in some.
>>5335023
>She's always said that she doesn't mind having a penis, and plans to not get surgery
American trans girls really are like the fox and the grape when it comes to srs. Damn
>>5335026
>she threw a glass at me and hit me in the neck.
she's abusive and you should leave her.
>>5342169
because i seriously doubt the guy's sexual orientation if he willingly touches my dick
>>5343520
Srs isn't that desirable. Have you seen the results? They rarely look normal. Just read about a complication on reddit about a girl who has a swollen clit and urethra so she can't enjoy sex and it will never look like a normal vagina
>>5343648
One tranny to another sweetie, I'd doubt his orientation the second I knew he decided to date someone like you who was born male and has a penis...
>look up big clit porn
hmm.....
>>5343648
Who the fuck cares about what genitals they're touching that much? Seems insane to me.
>>5344191
>sweetie
are we not gong to talk about how a grown man basically assaulted op?
run to the hills dude, bitch is fucking crazy aggressive violent histronic and clearly not worth your time
>>5335105
>>5335123
Sex is about exploring each others bodies. You should be able to say. You should be able to find what your partner likes and doesn't like and just say hey i'd rather you didn't do that. Girlfriend has crazy sensitive nipples, some days she's down some days she's not. She just moves my hands.
>>5335199
Buy her shit and admit being completely wrong. Reason is bad??
>>5349034
sometimes making someone happy and making them feel secure is more important/better than being right... if he loves her and wants to be able to have something with her then doing that is more important... besides it's not like having a nice night together is one sided, neither is reinforcing the idea that he sees her as a girl and treating her like a girlfriend...
they can have a discussion about boundaries and shit afterwards... but when you have a chance to repair things, or you want one then it's best to put the past behind you and instead remind yourself and the other person about what's good about being together... there's no need to bring up her faults, she can apologize for her behaviour or explain herself on her own, there's no sense in pushing for an apology... there's no reason to assume she isn't embarrassed or filled with regret for her own behaviour if she chooses... but he can express his regret for what happened too, he could've let her set the pace and recognized the signs of distress and pulled back a bit... neither of them is right here, but none of that even matters...
being negative or putting the blame on her is counterproductive for what he wants, and treating her well and like he loves her isn't a bad thing to do after...
sometimes you gotta let shit go to move shit forward...
>>5349095
(there's no sense in pushing for an apology... there's no reason to assume she isn't embarrassed or filled with regret for her own behaviour)*
Hey, I figure I'd let you guys know since you're still talking about it. I just found out that she committed suicide last night, overdose on Tylenol.
So, yeah.
>>5355955
Are you actually OP?
>>5355955
aaand your problem is solved
no man
no problem
>>5355955
Tylenol OD won't kill you that fast. Nice shitpost attempt, tho.
>>5355955
she sounded passable and everything why did she do that for? i am sad now
i would do everything to have her body and boyfriends (not OP though)
>>5343648
I wouldn't doubt him if he stroked it, I wouldn't doubt him if he kissed it, I wouldn't doubt him even if he sucked it. But if he asked for it in his ass, I would think, "This guy might actually be gay."
>>5356174
Probably same but personally I'd feel disgusted about myself and ashamed if he actually sucked it
>>5355955
Bullshit. You can't overdose and die on Tylenol in a single night. Tylenol itself isn't toxic its just really hard on the liver. At best if her liver failed to process it and shut down she would die weeks later very slowly and very painfully. Its very unlikely she could go that long without getting medical attention. First off it would be an incredibly unpleasant way to die, second off someone would have noticed the signs of liver failure (yellowing and browning of the eyes and skin) fairly quickly and she would have been taken to the hospital.
You could of made that bait work by using an actual lethal drug, but you choose Tylenol.
>>5356174
>tfw I might just be that guy but probs too old/ugly
Why do trannies think they'll ever be a normal part of society?
>>5356241
>all that text you typed out, then...
>You could of made that bait work by using an actual lethal drug, but you choose Tylenol.
I think his b8 worked pretty well tbph
>>5356241
eh on the bright side it was an interesting conversation... whether something is real or not doesn't change how interesting it can be to discuss...
>>5335589
>implying
The juxtaposition between him saying "you're beautiful" and the look on his face like a man who just stood on the edge of hell makes it the best one.
>>5359071
In the past they were their own slut caste.
Times have certainly changed..
