This is the Trans Help General thread. We'll try to help you here with everything related to being transgender.
This includes questioning, appearance, daily trans problems, medical info, general info and other interesting stuff to name a few.
MTF, FTM and questioning people are all welcome here to help eachother and discuss possible solutions.
You can also share your transgender related stories here. Just came out? Or you just need to get something off your chest?
Maybe something wonderful happened today! We'll be glad to hear it, it's always good to know we're not going through this alone.
Links:
Articles, Studies and General information about Questioning, Transitioning and other stuff: http://pastebin.com/CyW1dXV8
Lots of useful links about/for transgender people: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV
Transgender FAQ: http://pastebin.com/8QbKyShU
Am i trans/ trans help threads archive:
http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/search/text/trans%20help%20general%20%23/username/annicole/type/op/
Therapists: http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists_by_region
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
sort by transsexual issues
What will hormones do?
mtf: http://imgur.com/lDBLSVR
ftm: http://imgur.com/HqTqvJg
Previous thread: >>5229163
>>5279395
Yep, desu I was pretty clear I don't want anything to do with that transgender shit, just want my meds and get a female body, don't care about all the social implications, cause I'm transsexual, my problem is my body, not my social life. I couldn't care less how people percieve and treat me, I just wanna be happy with the shell I'm stuck in.
But he wasn't happy with that so I had several appointments where I just told about what I've been doing cause I didn't know wtf he wanted from me, even though he kept asking how he could help me and I kept saying I want his okay for prescriptions and after some 10 months I told him fuck this I'm self-medding, goodbye.
Costs me a crapton of money with laser and medding and SRS but I'd likely have killed myself if I didn't do it.
He told me to go shopping in female clothes, try myself out around people and when I mentioned I don't wanna do makeup, he pretty bluntly said but I have to. Seems to me he never met a girl from rural areas. All the women in my family are manlier than I am and still perfectly female.
Heck, I went with unisex clothes and did some light makeup just to appease him but he still pussied out from taking the responsibility.
I think this is more or less an exceptional case, but either way, fuck those gatekeepers. Good luck to you.
>>5281130
bump
>>5278230
Sounds like it will be a schizophrenic collection of tattoos.
>>5279395
Not me. I got a referral to an endocrinologist from a psychiatrist on my first meeting with him. My face was pretty masculinely shaped, but I was shaven. I also don't think my behavior was masculine. I've yet to see an endocrinologist because the one at the hospital he works in is booked up to March. I'm trying to get in contact with some others.
>>5281130
The Mayo Clinic actually provides healthcare?
>All ready to start HRT
>Back looks like this
I-is it even worth it?
>>5284996
My back looks like that too :(
>>5284996
You wanna cut calories and weight as much as possible, basically until you look like this, then put it back on gradually while on hrt
>>5283392
it looks something like this, not very passable :/ but I'll have to wear long sleeved sweaters I guess
>>5284996
don't worry, my girlfriends back looks a lot like that too, so there are broad shouldered women too
>>5283043
You do realize that gatekeepers are kind of the reason people make such a big deal about trans rights, right?
Will trying to lose weight while on HRT fuck with my breast development?
>>5285458
That doesn't stop tranny advocates going absolutely apeshit in the US where gatekeepers are not an issue.
How do I act like a guy?
So how does everyone feel about being an old lady one day? I just can't reconcile with that. Hence I don't think I'm really trans. I don't want to be an old man at all but I have gradually accepted the fate, I just think I will give up and kill myself with alcohol and cigarettes if unfortunate enough to be alive that long. But I think about looking like my grandmother and I think, "phew, I just cannot be trans."
>>5285923
I saw a thread about this are you that person? If so you shouldn't listen to them and just act with how you are comfortable with. There really is no way to act like a man. The only think I can think of is masculine manerisms like spreading legs when sitting.
where can i get cute clothes that will fit? i'm mtf.
>>5286389
Dude, do you know how badly I want to be a crazy old lady?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmXNnizCLyw
I hope this is me one day.
hey, everyone.
I'm quite new to this thing and am a bit at a loss. I am 20 years old. And my body is male, yet I indentify myself as female. I've always liked doing girly things from time to time and keeping my body feminine (shaving, moisturizing creams, long hair, etc). Recently my love asked me if I ever would like to take hormones, and maybe later on do surgery. I liked the idea, but as I began thinking about it... it all got scary and consufing...
So, here are a few questions:
Where do I go to? A family doctor? Or are there special kinds of doctors? I live in Northern Europe, I've never really heard of many trans people around here. So I can't really ask anyone in real life.
As far as I understand from the OP, the hormones that I take will change my body to look like female quite a bit. And as long as I take the hormones, my body won't start changing back to male? Will I still look feminine/female when I'm in my 40s or 50s or 60s?
I've read that 30 is the age where hormones don't really help much. I'm still 20, but probably would start taking hormones at 22. This age isn't too late to take them, right?
If I decide to get a genital operation (I'm still very scared about this, as I don't really mind having a penis, but I'd like having a vag and my partner as well would like that), will I be able to orgasm and will my sexual drive stay the same? Or will I go completely asexual? What are the chances? Also when is it 'too old/too late' to have surgery?
How expensive hormones get/how much do people usually pay for hormones?
That's all I wanted to ask, I think.
>>5286389
Doesn't really bother me
I like my grandma
>>5286389
I would rather be a healthy old man than a healthy old woman. But I would rather be a disgusting old woman than a disgusting old man.
So I usually do my testosterone injection on Thursday morning, but I have a flight to California tomorrow and will be there for the next week. Do I:
A. Risk taking my T supplies with me in my checked luggage?
B. Do my shot a day early?
I am concerned about there being problem with having syringes in my luggage or of my hormones being stolen, but I don't know if that's just paranoia.
But will it fuck up my hormones to take them a day early?
>>5286994
I'll try to tackle this wall of text for you.
First it's okay being a girly male and to like taking care of yourself. And you shouldn't let your partner decide if hormones is right for you. It's a pretty serious thing and a lot of health complications can be involved. I don't live in Europe so I don't know where you can go but asking a family doctor is an okay place to start, but they probably won't know much. Look for an lgbt friendly doctor I guess. Taking hormones isn't going to change your body as much as you want it to most likely. You'll still have some masc features and they'll come out more and more as you get older so surgery is something to consider. No time is too late for psychological benefits but generally consensus around 4chan is that 35-40 is too late for physical change. Again, don't look into this because you think your partner will like it. This is serious. Generally sex drive will plummet to near absolute zero. I pay $2.50 usd a month. It's cheap. But that's not what's expensive about transitioning.
>>5286994
Northern Europe you say? I hear getting on hormones the legitimate way over there is quite difficult and time-consuming.
In the U.S. at least, you would either start with a mental health professional if you can see one without needing a referral for insurance purposes, but if you do need one, you would start with your primary doctor. The therapist you get sent to would then send you to an endocrinologist if they decide to diagnose you with gender dysphoria/gender identity disorder. That endocrinologist would then be the one who gives you hormones.
You should not start looking any manlier than you are on hormones. I'm not sure to what extent aging will affect your appearance. Some MtFs on the board even brag that as they enter their 30s, they still get asked for ID to buy things like alcohol and cigarettes.
People have started later than 22 before and ended up passing, it depends on the case. If you're not comfortable with waiting the two years, potentially, you could self-med.
If you experience changes with your sex drive, it will be on hormones and not because of SRS. Dr. Suporn (a well-known SRS surgeon) says within 5 years of starting HRT is best, and that young patients will get the best results, but I don't think he says how young "young" is. You should still be able to orgasm.
In the US, HRT medication can range from $10-40 per month at a pharmacy. If you wish to see prices for self-administered medication, you can check out inhousepharmacy.vu, qhi.co.uk, internationaldrugmart.com, and alldaychemist.com
>>5285582
>US
>gatekeepers not an issue
what the fuck are you talking about
>>5286389
i always thought that it was weird being an old lady but never didnt want to not be one. after a few months of transitioning it made sense that being an old woman felt right
Hi, fledgling MtF here. Just wanted to know the best way to approach fitness while transitioning? I know that HRT fucks with muscle mass pretty substantially. Is the idea to gain muscle prior to and keep it going or to do something entirely different?
>>5288215
"Gatekeeping" really isn't an issue here in the states. I'm not the anon you responded to, but I can tell you from experience that it isn't hard to transition if you feel like you need to. I spent about 6 months in therapy before I got letter to see an endocrinologist, and that day walked out with a prescription for everything. I don't get what the issue is.
>>5289510
>six months of therapy visits
Just kill me.
>>5288387
What HRT does is change male muscle mass to a more female typical pattern. Normally this would be considered a good thing since it makes you look more feminine. I'm not really sure what dilemma you're thinking of
>>5289546
I mean, if you are absolutely positive that transition is what you need, then there is always informed consent clinics. I always do what I can to guide people to go to therapy first though, because it's incredibly helpful to have a supportive person there to help you better understand your feelings and misgivings about the treatment before you jump into it. Yeah, I get it... "I'm trans and I 100% definitely know everything about my identity and am completely ready" you'll say... but I still suggest seeing a therapist. They are there to help you understand yourself better, not to keep you from what you want.
>>5289844
Well I'm of the understanding that it induces a lot of lethargy while it's being used. So I don't know if it's something I should be worried about as far as like actual physical fitness or not.
>>5290864
If anything HRT made me more energetic, but that's just because it cleared up my chronic depression. Testosterone gives you an energy boost, and I suppose replacing it with estrogen may end up leaving you feeling deflated, it varies from person to person. The key point though is your body and mind will adjust more towards female standards, and you should have no problems exercising and keeping a healthy lifestyle just as a cis woman would
My therapist agreed to me starting HRT (I'm MtF).
How much would it cost monthly in the U.S if I don't have insurance covering it? And how much would it be with insurance?
>>5291460
My insurance expressly doesn't cover anything related to gender dysphoria but they still pay for my hormones, therapy and endocrinologist visits for some reason. I pay $14 a month for HRT, $7 for E and $7 for spiro. Not sure how much it would cost uninsured but I don't think they're very expensive drugs
>>5286389
Everyone gets old but they don't have to like it; it doesn't mean you don't want to be female if you don't want to be old. Plus, you have decades of intermediate between "old lady" and "adult woman".
>>5291472
That's reassuring. I thought it'd be more than that.
Thanks a bunch
>>5291483
While we're on this subject, why does every single old woman have the same hairstyle? You all know what I'm talking about
>>5287513
You should always take at least one spare shot with you in situations like these in case you get stuck and need to inject while you're away.
Check what the laws/rules are for carrying prescription medication on flights. I really doubt that people aren't allowed to bring the medication they need with them if they have a prescription and it's in personal use quantities, unless they're happy with making diabetics go without insulin and other things like that.
Your bag with your hormones in it being stolen is not a serious concern. At worst you lose 2 weeks worth of hormones (current and spare) which you can certainly get replaced unless your pharmacy/doctor/endocrinologist really fucks you over and refuses to for some reason. There's no higher chance for your bags to get stolen with the testosterone in them than without; no-ones going to steal it because of that. Just do what you'd normally do if you don't want your things to get stolen.
I don't know what effect taking your shot a day early would have; probably not that much and certainly nothing harmful to your health, though you'd have to change your schedule for injecting to being on Wednesdays or wait an extra day for the shot after that to put it back to being on Thursdays again.
>>5291496
easy to maintain/cant be bothered anymore
>>5291496
lol I noticed this too.
>>5284996
It's mostly the muscles that are the problem. There are tons of women with broad shoulders. You'll be fine.
>>5286994
If you go to a family doctor then they'll refer you to a specialist, or at least tell you where to go. Research the specifics for your country of how the whole process is going to be.
If you take hormones then you won't start to regress and end up getting more manly when you get older, as such (your male testosterone levels won't come back nor will your oestrogen stop working); though the way your body changes when you age may end up incidentally highlighting your masculine features more (mainly bone structure because of skin changes).
Younger is always better in terms of maximising effect/changes. You could be fine at 20-22, but it depends on how masculine you are and in what ways; no-one can say without seeing what you look like. A lot of people turn out fine at that age.
SRS won't significantly physically affect your sex drive (hormone levels will stay about the same, slight reduction in testosterone if anything due to removal of the testicles), but some people report feeling different anyway; I've mainly heard of people ending up with a higher sex drive, presumably due to the psychological effect of having genitals/a body they're more comfortable with.
If your country has public healthcare then hormones are probably covered by that.
My mom knows I am trans and on hormones, but I still repress it. I need to transition but I am worried everything I do will be criticized I honestly am at the end of the line and have no idea what to do and need advice. Mtf is it matters
>>5291494
there's a ceiling at probably around $50/month, which is what you could get by ordering online
Why won't this trans shit go away, I've had terrible anxiety since I saw Edgars rapey face, that is not what I want to become :/ I've been drinking for three days now and it's hardly helping anymore
>>5289510
Australia is weird. I remember I saw a psych once and he diagnosed me with GID, got a referral for the endocrinologist and was on my way.
However I did have to wait 2 months to see the psych and another month for the endo. Encountered no gatekeeping, the psych even said that he wouldn't 'gatekeep' me and if I really wanted hormones he wouldn't stop me.
>wow anon you look just like your father
Kill me. How much is ffs?
>>5294824
This gives me hope. I've had two sessions with a therapist already, have no idea how aware she is of gender/trans stuff. going to eventually build up the courage to mention it in a session and hope for the best
Can I even consider myself ftm if I still like and want to wear women's clothing?
Nothing else about being a woman feels right.
>>5294835
you're just a weirdo
also no
>>/tumblr/
>>5294829
Why haven't you mentioned hormones to your therapist? It's the first thing I'm going to do when I see mine.
>>5294857
Because I've only just met them really. We're still talking about my life and stuff. I only started getting genderthoughts like a year ago, and I'm not out to anybody (I told one person and they freaked out so bad I had to backpedal superhard, which set me back), I want to get comfortable with my therapist first. I don't really know how to come out and say it, I'm kind of worried they don't know anything about trans stuff and will react weird
Also I'm not in a position in my life where I can start taking hormones yet so it's not very urgent
>>5294865
So, if you don't mind telling, what exactly are you seeing your therapist for? I'm seeing mine for gender dysphoria, and I guess that gives me a head start.
>>5294894
Depression/anxiety/general dissatisfaction with myself and my life
I mean the gender thing is pretty important though. Like that's probably the biggest thing I've got going, as far as how much it's going to effect myself and my life. But for now it's just a cheeky little secret that I'll eventually drop on my therapist
So my bf was massaging my breasts today after we woke up, and i suddenly started lactating?! Should i be worried?? 14months hrt
>>5295264
I don't think theres anything wrong with lactating, I believe it would mean you're developing well.
>>5295264
Do you have blood tests? Lactating can indicate high prolactin levels, which is bad. It can cause tumors.
>>5291745
Just gradually act more and more feminine. Allow your self to act more naturally with vocal expression and hand gestures and stuff, start wearing some androgynous female clothing in day to day settings, paint your nails, etc
>>5294749
I dunno anon, you could try any of my dumb ideas
>Go army
>make more friends and constantly surround yourself with them
>find a bf/gf that makes you feel like a man
Aaaaand that's about it
>>5282875
So I'm wondering how to ask my doctor to get me started on HRT. What should I say?
I'm 30, just decided after many years of hiding that its time to stop hiding. I want to do this now. I tried finding a gender therapist, but the center for that kind of specialized treatment has not picked up the phone or returned my calls, so that seems to be going nowhere. so i'm about to turn to my physician
also, Have not told my family but I'm becoming paranoid that they may be connecting the dots.
Sorry if this gets asked a lot, but:
>Choose one of the following:
>I will fax my prescription to you
>My doctor will fax the prescription to you
>I will email my prescription to you
What do?
>>5299274
Which website are you ordering from?
>>5299274
Sounds like IHP. Say you'll fax, but don't.
>>5296544
I actually do have high prolactin levels. Now I'm scared
>>5298965
>So I'm wondering how to ask my doctor to get me started on HRT. What should I say?
>"Doc, I feel extremely uncomfortable with my body, and I suspect I might have body or gender dysphoria. Can you refer me to a specialist? Thanks"
That's all you need to say.
>>5299274
If thats inhouse, order from inhousepharmacy.vu. Their .vu website doesn't require any prescription.
Hello, friends
I'm gynesexual agender. I came out to my girlfriend and she's super supportive. I also told our friends, and they're all being awesome and accepting. I'm very thankful and lucky for this, but how do I come out to my family? My mother's side is all very conservative, and my father is cool with "LGB" but doesn't quite understand the "T" bit. I'm worried he would still try to treat me like a boy, or worse, hate me for it. Wat do?
Pic related, he's my dog. Came out to him & he's cool with it
>>5286994
Most information you want to find out is in the OP. You better read up.
Also I'm Norwegian and you should know that self medding has become more difficult here(new laws), but it's easy everywhere else.
If you're Norwegian you'll want this: http://www.hbrs.no/ .
>>5299701
Fuck off to tumblr.
>>5299784
Nah, I think I'll stay right here.
>>5299701
desu my mum dost understand the t but she doesn't realy care what i do as long as im happy. i think that goes for most family members.
>>5299701
>gynesexual agender
kill urself my man
>>5299870
Thanks, I appreciate the positive thought.
>>5299872
I don't think my family is the same way, unfortunately; I've come to the conclusion that my mother and her entire side of the family can never know about my gender, whereas there is a possibility of my father accepting me.
>>5299879
>my man
>man
lel
>>5299453
Go to doctor.
Are there any supplements that mtf girls should avoid?
For example i read that at high doses zinc acts as an aromatase inhibitor but i'm not sure if that is an issue given that mtf's supplement estrogen
>>5300947
Avoid too much potassium if you're on spiro
how do people come out without feeling like a huge faggot
>>5301802
not sure what you mean by that
>>5301802
that was easy, i just came out feeling like a girl
>>5301802
I don't know either since I'm in the closet. I'm guessing coming out to your family and friends passing in girlmode with a passing female voice is the best way to do it. At least that way your family won't be able to say, "But you're so masculine! It will never work out for you." If you mean with doctors, it's no big deal, assuming no one else is in earshot.
Realizing that being trans is not something to hate yourself for might be another.
>>5302404
>I'm guessing coming out to your family and friends passing in girlmode with a passing female voice is the best way to do it.
This is a horrible idea. It'd be such a tremendous shock for them
>>5301802
by never doing it until people always mistake me for being a gilr
>>5302413
>be me
>Called my parents down for a serious conversation
>I'm coming out today
>I have on a polo shirt, some baggy khaki shorts, and bud light sandals
>My favorite "chillout" wear to calm down
>I haven't shaved in a while
>Parents sit down
>We're just quiet for a while, not saying anything
>I've got my gaze pointed down at the football in my hands, passing it from one sweaty hand to the other, squeezing it every few passes
>My muscles ripple with ever press on the ball
>Dad speaks up first
>"What's wrong, son? Did you lose your football scholarship?"
>My eyes are still on the ball I've got in my hands, my large Adam's apple moved up as I swallowed before opening my mouth to speak
>"N-no, it's nothing like that, dad."
>My eyes can't meet his at all
>We go back to being quiet for a few seconds, until I decide there really is no way to do this but to just go for it
>I lift my face up, moving my eyes from my mom's to my dad's face
>In my low, booming voice, whose bass makes the water in my dad's glass shake, I tell my parents, "Mom, Dad, I feel like I'm a woman"
>Dad's face is redder than a beet in a second and on his feet faster than you could say minutemen
>"Anon, this better be one of your stupid goddamn pranks, because I'm not having this fairy faggot shit in my house a second longer than it takes to hear"
>My mom is crying uncontrollably, muttering, "What did we do wrong? We never raised him like this. Was it the BPA in his milk bottle? Did we not teach him how to be a strong man Was it that Tylenol I took when I didn't know I was pregnant? That must be it. It's all my fault!" as she looks between her handkerchief and my face
>"Mom, no-- Dad, it's legitimate I really do feel lik-"
>I drop the ball from my big, clumsy, hairy hands when my dad starts shouting at me with what feels like his whole body
>>5302413
>>5302920
>"Anon, look at you. You're a fucking MAN! Your legs are spread wide, you look like any drunk frat bro, you've had more girlfriends than that-that-that Bieber kid on the radio has admirers. You've got a voice I wish I did, for Christ's sake!"
>I get up from the couch "B-but that doesn't mean anything, I was just doing that to please you!"
>"Believe what you want as long as you get the fuck out of my house in half an hour"
>My parents just don't understand
>But they'll come around, f-for sure
VS.
>be me
>dressed in girl mode, today's the first time my parents will see me this way
>I'm coming out to them
>I send them a text asking them to come down for a conversation we need to have, I was anxious even pressing send
>Parents come down the stairs and see me, they are confused a bit and think I'm one of my friends they haven't met
>"A-anon hasn't gotten you pregnant, has he?"
>With my well-practiced clear-toned, female voice, "...No. I'm your child, and I'm coming out to you now"
>"I just want you to get to know... *I start breaking into sobs* who your daughter, ...Anonette, really is"
>My parents start crying too
>My dad's crying even more than I am
>And he was the first to walk over and hug me, and I stood up, my mother was only a millisecond behind Dad
>They get it, they really just get it, without saying anything
>We wipe our tears after holding each other a while
>Then we talked more calmly, but still warmly about it
>Standing here months later, my relationship with my parents is better than it's ever been
>I love them sooo much
I'm sorry, what?
is it possible to be trans (ftm) and have AGP at the same time (ie, no dysphoria when wearing really fetishized clothes even though you know you look terrible) but feeling just so uncomfortable with yourself all the time otherwise?
Guy here
Can any MTFs explain orgasms from anal sex?
I'm in my first relationship with a MTF and she often orgasms during sex without ever touching her penis (and without me touching it), and when she doesn't orgasm it doesn't seem to matter to her.
I am new to the MTF thing so maybe I am wrong in thinking of her sexual fulfillment in the same way I think of mine (ie cumming). She is obviously uncomfortable with having a penis and doesn't want me to interact with it even though I have offered. I just know that if it was me I would be frustrated without reaching orgasm.
>>5303167
>agp
do you get off to picturing yourself as a woman?
>>5303180
it's happened before but it's not often, i mostly just feel a really increased sense of arousal
it just doesn't make sense though because these are clothes that I know that I look bad in, and when I dress the way that's appropriate for my age range (~20s) I feel...very very uncomfortable and like I really need to bind my chest down. I don't feel a constant sense of sex dysphoria though so i'm not really sure that it's the answer but whenever I look at binders I feel this sense of longing. I feel uncomfortable with myself 100% of the time, but it's probably only partially dysphoria-related.
I also have a lot of mental health issues so all of this could just be nothing.
>>5303175
Do you not know about prostates?
>>5303175
I don't know how to explain that but sphincter is supposed to be sensitive and basically any sensitive part on your body may bring you to orgasm. Yes, there is also prostate but my hands are too small to reach that far and just fingering my opening does it for me esp when combined with touching my nipples.
Quality of orgasm from penis touching really depends on my mood but it's mostly bleak and just meh.
>>5303104
It's a 4chan standard, senpai. If I don't do it, my shitposting license is up for review. I can't let my kids go hungry because some people think they deserve to read Dante at all times.
You hear about MtF selfmedding all the time, but is there such thing as FtM selfmedding?
literally the only thing holding me back from starting self med and seeing a doctor is the thought of having "the talk" with my parents, brother and his family
it brings me to the point of having some serious anxiety attack and i just have no idea how i'd go about it
i'm sure i'm somebody they would never suspect to be going through this, and when i have to drop the bomb i don't know what to expect
if i had nobody to come out to or if i was like half way around the world away i would have certainly started by now, but going through all of this in plain sight trying to keep it hidden scares me too
why do i feel this way? did/does anyone else? i feel like i'd be better off just moving far away and not coming out until FFS or something, but why am i so fucking scared of my own fucking family
>>5303253
I felt the same way, it probably pushed my transitioning back two years
Just fucking do it.
>>5303237
Huh, I see. Is testosterone more dangerous than estrogen, I assume? Sorry, not very good at scientific shit
>>5303282
It's abused by athletes and bodybuilders
>>5303286
Ahh, right, steroids and shit.
>>5303167
did you mean mtf? because ftm with agp is truly an interesting case
I don't know if this is the right place for this, but some one told me this phrase and now I can't get it out of my mind https://twitter.com/search?q=%22you%20can%20just%20be%20a%20girl%22&src=typd
like I'm just over 20 y/o and I've played female character in games for almost the last 10 years of my life. I have 8 years in wow being known by a female name and appearance. Recently the more I think about my real male name and male body the more it makes me sick and the more I feel disconnected from it all. I just feel comfortable being referred to and treated as a girl.
I don't know what to do with these feelings.
>>5303800
see a therapist
Did anyone else have a really normal childhood? I mean hell I think I was even excited to get a mustache when I was like 12~13. What the fuck went wrong.
>>5304515
I experienced gender dysphoria at a young age but it didn't bother me as much as it does now.
Possible MTF here, I have some concerns about some stupid stuff.
Such as how I will look like when I am older, like 60+.
I don't wanna look like those stereotypical Women at 60s, but I know there isn't much I can do about it.
Did you lot worry before you transitioned?
Or do you lot worry already?
>>5304567
Would you rather look like a stereotypical man in his 60s?
>>5304572
To be honest..kinda, a lot of guys from 50+ look pretty good for their age, and old men have a charm towards them.
I guess it's because I know some women in their 60+ and I don't really like them....at all.
>>5304567
Be your own person if you don't want to look stereotypical.
>>5304591
Yeah.
>>5304515
I wasn't really excited or bothered about any puberty change, I was pretty much detached from typical puberty concerns. It took me until 21 (now) to realize I wasn't interested in relationships because I couldn't picture myself as the male partner.
I still have more disinterest than hate for my image, until intimacy shows up and I get anxious and uncomfortable as fuck.
>>5304623
Also I got bullied from kindergarten because crying was my response to anything that bothered me.
How do I tell my family that I want them to use my name and correct pronouns? I've been on hormone therapy for four years now and pass, but haven't socially transitioned. My mom and sisters all support me but they call me by my old name and use male pronouns. Like, they'll talk to me about makeup and fashion stuff but they still refer to me as a guy. It feels really weird and grating.
>>5304515
I don't know about normal but I didn't question my gender until I was in my 20's, unfortunately. When I look back at my childhood now though I can see signs.
>>5304567
i feel you. I think of old women and I see something like pic related and I'm just utterly repulsed. although it seems kind of cool to be >>5304588 though. i dig it. I get what you mean about old men kind of having some charm
>>5304658
Actually, I see something like this.
I wouldn't mind looking like the woman in your picture, it reminds me of my Grandma.
>>5304515
I didn't have any dysphoria as a kid. I spent most of my time with girls anyway so I guess I never really felt all that different. Once puberty started, that's a different story
>>5303800
I did the kind of same thing, since day one of playing online games I've always said I'm a girl, I used it as a tool of escapism I guess. You're not alone with doing that.
Though I learned later I'm trans and now I've become the grill and don't have to pretend anymore.
.. My point is just that videogames probably helped you distract yourself from it for as long as it did, but you should see a therapist like the other Anon said. Start reading up and doing your homework, okay? There's a lot of helpful resources in the OP. Good luck.
>>5287513
You are allowed to bring prescription medication with you in your carryon, regardless of size. Diabetics need their insulin, even if it's more than 3 oz.
Just make sure the vial has the prescription label on it.
Is it a sign of something if you're 21, male, and hadn't had any sort of relationship or sex until this year, and you've never really enjoyed being the dominant partner of sex with either partner you've been with? I also have a thing for crossdressing.
I think if everyone were accepting, I would probably just go ahead and be a girl, but I hold back because it would ruin my life in reality.
>>5305186
>Is it a sign of something if you're 21, male, and hadn't had any sort of relationship or sex until this year
Virginity at relatively high ages is something I've noticed.
>>5305186
>Is it a sign of something if you're 21, male, and hadn't had any sort of relationship or sex until this year, and you've never really enjoyed being the dominant partner of sex with either partner you've been with? I also have a thing for crossdressing.
You can be a submissive male who enjoys crossdressing
desu the most distressing thing would be that you felt compelled to come to a tranny thread and ask for insight
>>5303253
i feel the same, but havent really thought of a solution. i keep fantasizing about moving across the country and cutting them off completely, which i guess i could do, although it would be hard with no excuse. my dad and brothers probably wouldn't care, although they wouldn't get it. but my mom is super christian and right wing and thinks all gay people are gross. she even threatened to pull my brother out of college when she saw they had lines for "male identifying" or "female identifying" students on their application.
>>5305279
>she even threatened to pull my brother out of college when she saw they had lines for "male identifying" or "female identifying" students on their application.
Jesus. Normally it's the moms that are more accepting, too
>>5305186
The only "sign" of transsexualism is that you decide to pursue it. All the horseshit about "trans is not a choice" or brain gender or w/e the fuck is just a strategy for dealing with a puritanical judeo-christian culture that wants to stand in our way and ask all kind of silly riddles about why we want to do what we want to do.Do you want to transition? Then you're trans. Learn the lingo and the strategies, then go transition. It's really simple at this point. Go get a letter from a trans-friendly therapist (just for your records at this point), go dressed, tell her you're full time. This will establish the beginning of your "life experience". Then go get your pills. You can get them online pretty cheap, or you can go see an endo. It will take a couple of years to get the full effects of the hormone therapy. If you have the money, you'll probably want various surgeries. Do your own research.
>>5305186
When I think of myself as a husband, a father or even just a male partner there's a big blank, I can't see a future for myself in that role. I'm 22 and I've never kissed anyone.
My discomfort doesn't come from who I want or don't want to have sex with (although my preferences are pretty sketchy) but who I want to have sex as. And I can't help but think of myself as a girl in that context. It feels right.
I'm not even into crossdressing, I just don't have any sort of male identity. But it's only in the context of intimacy that I clearly experience dysphoria.
>>5299872
are you the one person trying to bring back desu
for what purpose
>>5305602
baka it's a word filter desu senpai
>>5305661
what words are filtered?
>>5305667
baka desu senpai, of course.
So I've been on hormones for 32234238423423622342532342 years and my body is just like "HAHAHA EAT MORE ESTROGEN ILL JUST KEEP IGNORING IT"
So yeah, I have zero curves and stuff.
My doctor's kicked my dosage to 8mg/day. I've also tried injections and shit. Does nothing.
I literally look no different from before I started hormones except now I have gynecomastia.
halp
>>5305684
You are taking antiandrogens (at the right dosages) too, aren't you? How old are you and what do the other women in your family look like (do they lack curves too)?
>>5305279
>mfw the transfer orientation registration listed "other" in the gender selection menu
>>5305684
I was going to say maybe you have https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estrogen_insensitivity_syndrome Turns out that can't be passed down though. It's probably what >>5305740 said.
>>5305740
Yup. Had blood levels checked, I practically have no testosterone.
I'm 20, most of the women in my family are skinny, but they have obvious curves.
Kind of like pic related
>>5305789
How are your E levels?
This may be a dumb question, but has anyone ever had the issue where the tips of your nipples get white and your chest is extremely sore? I'm very early on in my development (about 1.5 months, 2mg of estradiol and 50mg of spino) and the only conclusion I could come up with is that they could be "milk blisters"; does anyone else have any insight on this?
>>5305949
Soreness happens to everyone, I've never heard of them turning white though
>>5282875
So, thg, I have a question about my hair.
I'm three months into HRT, and when I scratch my head, sometimes strands of hair come out, lots of them. I haven't noticed any balding, but I'm confused as to the cause. It's not a male hairline issue, since the hair at the temples is growing back. Is this normal?
>>5294826
It's funny. At Thanksgiving dinner my father, while asking me how much beer I wanted to drink, goes "are you a man or are you gay hahaha". If only he knew.
I increased my estrogen dose 2 months ago but i've the feeling i'm losing breast tissue. I also use progesterone since 4 months and recently my breasts started getting very sensitive, but i can't help but feel they got smaller.
Anyone else? I use cyproterone acetate, 10 mg estrogenhydrate and 100 mg progesterone a day. Levels are fine
>>5305786
>´I was going to say maybe you have https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estrogen_insensitivity_syndrome
>In humans, the condition is very rare and only one case has been described
lol
>>5305684
when did you start? Are you eating at a calorie surplus? Like, did you lose weight beforehand and started gaining mass with HRT? This is important information
>>5305949
Happens during the morning and sometimes in the evening AND when it's gold AND sometimes randomly. perfectly normal.
>>5306499
That's why I said was and that it's not hereditable.
>>5305949
Not the exact same but I was having fluid come out. If you're taking e under the tongue stopping might cure it. Just swallow it.
>>5307099
I was considering that, but my endo doc told me to keep it under the tongue, less harmful effects to the liver supposedly.
I'm planning on coming out as mtf to my mom and brother (the people i live with) soon. my mom has asked me if i was transgender before and although she seemed upset when she asked she said that she wants to know so she could tell me, i didnt answer her lol. but anyways my question is, after i come out, do i just start wearing girl clothes and makeup straight away? my behaviour is already that of a girl but not my clothes etc so me being feminine wont come as a shock to them but still. ive been doing hair and makeup and going out dressed as a girl for a while without them knowing, i want to come out so i can stop hiding, I'm sick of being so secretive.
>>5307251
**wants to know so she can help me
>>5306421
lol...
>tfw you hear your father repeat himself several times about "how he gets gays but just doesn't get all this bruce jenner stuff" for literally no reason
>you gonna cut your hair anon? people are going to think you're a girl
>>5307251
>my mom has asked me if i was transgender before
>i didnt answer her lol
she knows
If somebody used faggot as a general insult, not insinuating any homophobicality, would you still be offended?
>>5307251
Shit, you might as well. You sound like you've practically come out already
>>5307251
What's the guy from lost doing in the background?
>>5307307
Nope, I call people faggots all the time.
>>5307307
A little, but not enough to bother them about it
>>5307307
nah, I'm pretty tolerant as far as "offensive" terms go
>>5307307
Of course not you fucking faggot. Worst that`ll happen is Ill be upset they insulted me at all, I wont stop to go
>HEY WAIT A MINUTE HE CALLED ME A FAGGOT, NOW IM OFFENDED
I'm having trouble with my voice, I'm trying to practice a more feminine way of talking but I don't really know how to use my voice at all.
It's not that my voice is super deep or manly or anything, It's somewhere in the lower mid-range, but I've always been a really quiet talker.
I also have rhotacism, I can't pronounce the sharp R required in my native language (though english and french pronunciations come off right).
Sorry for the wall of text, I just can't find any advice anywhere and my voice is my main source of dysphoria and what might prevent me from passing. There's voice feminisation surgery of course, but I'm afraid that might fuck up my vocal cords making me sound like Mickey Mouse/Nolan's Batman
I'm hurt guys.
I came out as a mtf to my parents.
Told them that I wanted to take hormones and what not.
They weren't too pleased to hear it, and had a negative attitude.
Saying how no one would respect me, that the hormones would ruin and kill me. Blah blah.
Ff to hrt appoint ment. Dad does everything he can to stop me from going, fails.
Next 9 months still in guy mode and parents seem to forget I'm trans cause nothing noticeble is happening.
but as hair gets longer my dad will tell I should cut it.
Or randomly my dad will tell me I'm gonna get cancer from hrt and should stop talking them.
Or anytime I get genderd as female in guy mode in front of parents they will tell me how emberassing.
Recently I wore makeup and eyeliner to work cause I fucking felt like it.
Helped me pass 100%.
Every one at work was so supportive and proud of me.
But parents were so against it.
And just now my dad picked me up from work.
And he usally gets groceries.
And he said he was gonna get things for sandwiches.
Said needed to get some stuff too.
Then all of a sudden said he'd go later.
I almost have the impression he doesn't want me to be seen with him in public.
And this hurts and pisses me off.
Like my parents are everything to me and them acting like that makes me almost want to an hero.
I'm almost 21 and can buy a hand gun.
>>5307542
Anon, fuck your parents. I know it hurts but dont take your life over them. Think of all the other people that support you. Your coworkers do, Im sure your friends do. If your parents dont, itll be hard but at least you can take comfort in other people.
>>5307542
move out
So wait, is it actually bad if my breasts lactate when I apply a lot of pressure to them? Mine have been doing that basically since they started growing. Should I panic?
>>5307624
Anon, tiddies are supposed to lactate. Though usually not until a girl is pregnant. Are you pregnant anon?
>>5307638
It'd be pretty weird if I was, since I'm a virgin even if I somehow had a womb
I just found out that you don't necessarily need to transition with treatment, sometimes the feelings (dysphoria) diminish just with hormones. This is actually reassuring for me, I'm feeling like going to a therapist soon.
Just thought I'd post this for anybody else scared of transition.
>>5307196
yeah, but the problem might be e levels are rising and falling too quickly. at least take it by swallowing the first couple months. they once your body has learned what to do with it, then change back. thats my 2 cents at least.
>>5307307
I'm not bothered enough about it to mention it, but when someone uses faggot, gay, or any word like that to express a dislike for something, I usually regard them as uncivilized morons.
Does finasteride raise testosterone levels, despite blocking DHT? I'm hearing mixed things. My hair is pretty much okay I think, but sometimes I get paranoid, and the finasteride offers me pretty good peace of mind. I'm in the shitty UK so I won't get proper AAs 'til May. I'm on 2mg of E and 5mg of finasteride right now. Should I be worried about rising testosterone?
>>5307688
Same here.
Felt dysphoria being a male.
Already feminine and what not.
Take hormones and let my hair grow out.
People start to gender me as a girl in boy mode.
When people do that it gives me a feeling of ease.
Almost like I finally reflect what I feel on the inside.
And for that reason I don't ever seek for people to call me her or ma'am.
Or change my birth certificate.
Even in total boy mode, as long as I feel like a girl and portray one. I am content.
And am pretty satisfied on what hormones can do alone.
And I guess you could say my dysphoria is cured.
By no fucking means though would I stop hrt or go back to being a male since I don't really have feelings of dysphoria.
Cause the only reason they even ever went away was cause of hrt.
>>5307949
From what I've read (i take dutasteride) it "sort of" does, by a small amount - basically because that's the testosterone that would have been converted into DHT anyway.
It's a weird thing, your testosterone doesn't really increase I guess since you're not actually making more - it's just not getting converted (DHT is more damaging anyway, so that shit is enemy #1)
>>5307949
Mmm
As a temp it's def better than anything.
Only thing is finasteride only blocks dht and not base testosterone.
And while you defainetly would be suppressing masculizing effects of testosterone, you might be inhibiting feminizing effects of E.
You should still get some sort of stronger t blocker.
like cyperone acetate. You can get 50 50mg pills for like 40 bucks at inhouse.
50 mg a day combined with your fin and E should be plenty till you get a more permant solution.
>>5307997
I'm not DIYing, I'm getting shit prescribed by an endo, sadly(?). I just have to hold out 'til May for decapeptyl.
>>5306499
Started 4 years ago
IDK what calorie surplus is, I just eat whatever is in front of me.
I was underweight before, after about a year I dipped a lot more and lost another 30 pounds. Then over the next 3 years I ate my way to 140.
So how do you buy from IHP now that they have removed their credit card options?
>>5307997
more like 65 :\
>>5308386
a surplus is just more than the calories you need daily, so you gain weight. What was your weight after you lost another 30 pounds? How tall are you?
When you're 5´11" 140 lbs is still massively underweight. Try to reach out for a BMI of 22 and up, then you will get a figure
>>5308511
E-check, I've been using that method for a long time now and there is no trouble with it. Your bank billing statement will just list "OTC Check"
Is gonadorelin available in the US?
I heard that's the best AA on the market.
>>5309970
it should be available world-wide i'm 100% sure another GnRH-analoga (Lupron/Leuprorelin) is available. Not sure if insurance coveres it in the US, cause they're expensive
>>5310193
Thanks, I'm asking because I know cypro is banned in the US for some reason.
>>5310202
Not banned, just not FDA approved yet.
>>5310202
Maybe look out for leuproreline injections, i use those aswell and they're pretty good (but the injections sucks...).
They should be approved within the US aswell
Is taking E and only E really effective? I've been hearing a lot of mixed things about it (including in this thread), with some people saying its all you need while others say it's not enough and won't do anything without AAs - or worse that taking only E may cause testosterone levels to increase somehow and cause baldness.
>>5311977
I'm not really sure how the biology of it all works but no, E on its own isn't effective
>>5305552
idk but i feel the same kind of. like in most of my friendships/social situations i dont really care about gender roles or whatever. but while ive never been in a relationship and ive turned down a couple people, its really hard for me to imagine dating anyone as i am now, much less having sex. and i really only get off to gay porn and even cute vanilla romance stories only have an effect on me when it's two guys. but there are plenty of normal (albeit creepy+fetishising) straight girls who also feel this way? i guess?
>>5311996
I only ask because I'm looking to go legit, and the doctor I'm going with seems to go with E only for 3 months, and then afterwards if you need AAs you get them then.
Seems kind of backwards compared to what most people get.
>>5312088
Yeah, that seems weird. Is he experienced with trans patients?
>>5311977
E is effective but you would need to take a really big dose of it for it to
- block androgens
- exert effects
that's why taking blockers is more convenient because it lets estrogen do its job
however estrogen cannot do anything with DHT which is what makes you masculine so what you would need either way is a DHT blocker
>>5282875
Been on HRT for about 2 years.
Suddenly my sex drive has started to go back up, in the sense that everywhere i look every time I see someone I feel a "jolt" inside. But I've had an orchiectomy so it can't be a testosterone problem?
Is this normal, has anyone else had this?
>>5312269
you're fucked mate
>>5312269
I've heard of some having that jolt you speak of when they're touched by men, but not just by looking at someone.
>>5312331
Well fuck, what's wrong with me
>>5312349
Try getting laid first. Being thirsty seemed to be the cause of the jolts in other individuals.
Let's be honest, there's no point trying to transition with a face like that, right?
I'll honestly never be able to afford facial surgeries.
>>5312459
Forgot pic.
>>5312459
can't tell anything zoomed in that far
Why can't you /ever/ afford FFS? It's less expensive than a car
>>5312474
The main thing I wanted to show is the big bumpy nose and the brow. On a girl, this angle wouldn't look so rough as it does for me.
And I can't afford ffs before I finish my studies, which is in 4 years. And it'll take some years after that probably.
I also feel extremely self-conscious, and like I'll never pass and be mocked and bullied, or refused jobs if I decide to transition.
Sorry for rambling...
Did anyone save a copy of my natural Gender change Thread that I posted about a year ago?
I've been hacked and lost it, I may have deleted it on accident but either way I don't have a copy of it anymore. If someone could help with reposting it I would be very appreciative
>>5312474
>FFS is less expensive then a car
Lol wat? Most FFS is 20k+ so that costs about the same or more then a new car. Unless you mean the cheaper FFS surgeons like in Mexico that are not worth going to.
Most trans people in this struggling economy will never be able to afford FFS.
Anything to do for red spotty legs from shaving? The first time I shaved my legs I got really bad shaving rash. It faded a bit, but I've still got spots all over my legs months later and it's putting me off shaving. I showed my doctor but she was just like "Oh use VEET lol" and offered me nothing for my ugly as fuck legs.
At least it's winter and I can wear leggings, but what do?
>>5313231
I don't fucking know. I think god doesn't want me shaving my legs. I'm gonna try epilating soon
>>5313231
preshave
shave cream
aftershave
epilate as a last resort
>one of your guy friends from pre-transition starts crushing on you
what do?
>>5314462
let him fuck you in the ass
>>5291460
I live in a place in Canada where they refuse to insure that stuff in our healthcare plan (fuck my taxes rite :D) and for the MtF hormones (T blocker and the estrogen) it's about $150 exactly for 3 months, so $50 a month uninsured.
>>5303175
Yeah I am dealing with this in terms of.. my relationships where guys want me to be able to you know, orgasm like they do because they think that's the only way how.
Wellp, 3 things.
1: You can orgasm from anal sex, and it's actually easier if you were born male because of the prostate. So, yeah it's like a g-spot for MtFs I guess?..
2. The third thing does not apply to everyone
3. I suspect she gets the same kind of feeling I do, where I get my own sense of pleasure or satisfaction from making my partner feel good. It doesn't really matter to me if I get off, and I'm never frustrated about it. After I started HRT it's actually made me even less so care about orgasms but I really like pleasing my partner.
So in short, she likes getting you off and gets off on getting you off I guess. ENJOY. YOU WON THE LOTTERY?
>>5307560
This so much.
>>5307542
You can't choose who your parents are, but you can choose your friends. They're the people you should define your life with, not your parents. You shouldn't just love your parents unconditionally because you were born to them by chance, because they're forcing you as a kid to live under whatever beliefs they hold no matter how absurd or offensive. If you were born to neo-nazi skinheads you shouldn't have to respect them if you're a decent person.
>>5303175
Handfree orgasm are quiete easy to obtain and due to not liking our genitals we often fixate on our only way to get an orgasm without having to interact with our genitals - our ´g-spot´.
Letting my bf do the work down there with me having no control over it is even better and i just love it; it's totally different from plain anal.
As >>5314774 said, some women including me like pleasuring our partner so i don't mind either when i can't orgasm cause it's quiete hard for me to reach but the way up there still feels good.
The feeling about what sexual fullfillment is changed a lot for me; even just sleeping with my bf is way better than just having sex for 30 minutes.
>>5303167
>am i trans if is still do the most stereotypical thing noone trans would do cause they would hate themselfs for it?
yeah, idk
>>5312796
That's why you start hrt but stay in boy mode. Work and earn your ffs, then socially transition. Hurts but it's the best you can do.
If my boobs don't hurt at all and I'm 1 year on HRT, does this mean I'm fucked? I mean i used to be fat, maybe that's the reason, but still only A-cups at best.
can spiro cause low blood pressure?
So I decided to lose some weight before I started HRT. I'm not overweight or anything. I'm currently 10st 2lbs and 5'10. I'm still eating at a calorific defecit, losing about 1lb a week. I wanted to get down to 9st something. I'm weak as heck, so not much of my weight is muscle.
I'm only on 2mg of E and 5mg Fin because of shitty UK HRT. If I start eating more, would I put more weight on in a female pattern, or should I wait 'til I get on AAs and shit too? I also worry that I'm stunting tit development by losing weight.
I'm 15 months on hrt, and starting progesterone now. Some people say it works, others don't.
Anyone can tell me what happens after you started it? Changes in mood / body and so on?
>>5315117
I think so? It's used as heart medication for men and my endo always checks my pulse and blood pressure during check-ups
Okay I can't stop fucking thinking about sex and romance. My sex life and interest in relationships didn't really exist pre-HRT. I'm 6 months in now and it's driving me fucking nuts. I don't even particularly want to masturbate so it's like there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not comfortable dating any guy as early transition and non-passing. What the fuck can I do to keep my mind off this shit? I feel like I'm going crazy
Are you supposed to drink more than usual to make the AA part of spiro more effective or is the diuretic part completely unrelated?
I'm kind of worried not getting any of the advertised effects aside from diuretic from spiro.
>>5315597
You're not supposed to drink a whole lot on HRT because it's taxing on your liver. Having to constantly process both booze and hormones/blockers puts a lot of load on it. How long have you been on spiro and what dosage?
>>5315605
lol I just realized you probably meant water
Drinking a lot of water is healthy anyway. Also yes the diuretic stuff is just a side-effect.
I have been having trouble getting used to being a girl now I just recently severed my man parts from my body
Do I pass as a female at all? Thats a pic with no make up
>>5315849
Not yet, but I still think you're way cute and shouldn't have much trouble passing with makeup and/or hormones.
>>5315858
Thanks. I want to come out on facebook but idk if they will just be like wtf you look like a man still.
>>5315860
>coming out on fb
why would you do this
>>5315874
so people know who I actually am? Why wouldnt I?
>>5315860
I wouldn't tell them unless you're already on your way with hormones, also Facebooks really don't need to know that. Family might.
>>5315849
qt
if they are in any way supportive they'll tell you how cute you are
at least that's how it was for me and I wasn't nearly as cute as you when I came out on fb
>>5315906
Thanks. Do you regret coming out on fb at all? I'm just not sure how my family will react
>>5315875
Make a new facebook and add relevant people to it. It's better that way.
>seeing beautiful cis girls
>knowing I'll never be them
>knowing I'll never live a normal life
>feeling that lump in your throat
How do I get rid of these feels? ;_;
>>5316906
Focus on the woman you'll be in the future and try not to dwell on the past
>alright with myself
>see cute girl
>want to transition
>intense desire to transition
>slowly lose the motivation to transition and have moments where I want to start working out and be a guy
>see cute girl again
>intense desire to transition again
>don't feel dysphoria
>just want to be a girl
I don't even care if I'm "true" trans or not at this point. I don't even fucking know what I'm doing anymore. Even if I don't experience dysphoria there are so many things that make me want to transition. The only thing holding me back is being weak.
I mean being perceived as weak, not only for transitioning and wanting to be a girl, but if I end up passing people will still see me as weak. I will never invoke the level of respect and power that I do currently just for being a man.
I'm a complete loser yet people still respect me because I know how to carry myself with confidence and be assertive.
It's all so contradicting. One minute it's masculine desires for power, the next minute all I want to be is a cute girl and have a boyfriend to hold me.
How do I get over the fear?
>>5314462
aaaaaaaaah now I can't stop thinking about him
fucking estrogen
>>5318098
Does oestrogen make you crave cock?
I've heard mixed things
If it does, then isn't it a little scary to think that your decision to undertake such a procedure was based on the hormones in your body at the time and is now being overridden by the hormones you've dumped into yourself.
How do you know if what you're thinking is really your own thoughts and not just a side effect of something else?
I've noticed that trannies go through years of internal struggles, wrestling their own brains until they finally give in and do what it wants.
It's like an obese person's brain telling them to eat one more slice of cake. They're convinced that they'll happy if they just eat that extra piece of cake. And if they ever give in, we know how it ends.
>>5318144
I've always liked cock it just feels way more uncontrollable now. Before HRT I was basically asexual for all practical purposes
I have a therapist but she's for CBT, should I mention trans thoughts or is that totally out of her jurisdiction?
>>5318158
Also I'm generally way happier on HRT so it seems to have been a good idea regardless desu
and it's not just me saying that since I've gotten external confirmation on how ridiculously improved my mood is from at least six different people
>>5318164
I was seeing a regular old psychologist and told her I was trans. She was supportive but a bit obviously out of her expertise. She still helped me out a good bit gathering up the courage to come out to my parents and stuff
>>5312269
>>5312331
>>5312349
>>5312381
I experienced my first jolt today. I was in my business class and my teacher was speaking to everyone in the class who didn't turn in their homework when he said to turn it in via email by four. The thing he said was something like, "Just get it to me by then." But he said it in a sexy way that made me jump. I didn't look at him, but I felt like he was smirking. Probably just paranoia, though.
>don't like looking at traps because it makes me jealous
What does it mean? I've always been straight.
Easiest fix is just never look at traps again.
>>5318726
This is not a ride you want to get on unless it interferes with your life in more ways than making you confused when masturbating.
>>5318726
Guess how I started? I got so jealous and wanted to be a trap so bad people asked me if I was trans and thus started my questioning phase.
Hell, while I tried to repress all this, they would trigger me.
>be at work, feeling fine
>everything is good, im a guy
>cute effeminate boy comes in
>triggered
>>5318734
How can it interfere any more than a constant nag from the brain?
Are you talking about suicide attempts because of how unhappy you are?
I did that, a few years ago actually. For general unhappiness I guess. But who doesn't wish their life was a little better?
Why don't we have a way to 100% diagnose this stuff. Just a straight forward answer would be enough, whatever it was.
>>5318726
I felt this way looking at a Somik-chan gallery. I saw she was still in boymode in a set of photos dated 2010. Kind of hard to tell what age she was. I thought 5 years wasn't that long, so she might have been kind of late teens by that point already. Then I realized that at the latest, I was 15 in 2010, and because of that, I realized she must be around my age. That's when I felt envious.
Looking at her photos, it really seems she transitioned early enough to never need any surgery other than SRS.
>>5318726
>>don't like looking at traps because it makes me jealous
hoo boy
>>5318784
I've been more or less unconsciously neglecting my body ever since I hit puberty by starving myself. I had no idea why at the time, I never connected the dots to why I didn't felt so disconnected with my body. About a year ago I figured that fuck, I can actually change my body to be how I envisioned to be since I was like 4 years old and care about it instead of slowly killing myself with malnutrition. Healthy body healthy mind I guess as I'm finding motivation to get my life back on rails at last.
And yeah I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts before but not directly because of my body. I never went to get a diagnose my tranny stuff because the program here is gatekeepish as fuck and all I really want is an informed consent type of deal, selfmed is closest to that.
That's just my side of how it interfered with my life, 21 is a bit late to connect the dots but better later than never.
>>5318784
that nag never goes away
it will drive you insane
>>5318916
What if it kinda goes away when I'm aroused? Clearly I just need to constantly be horny right!
I need your help trans general..
Ever since I started puberty I've been obsessed with tomboys. I used to idolize tomboy and androgynous celebrities like brody dalle, ellen page, etc. I remember seeing Cathy Rigby playing Peter Pan in the Broadway show and thinking "yeah, that's kind of what I'm like". I had the same thought when I watched that Bob Dylan movie "I'm Not There" where Cate Blanchett plays Bob Dylan I thought "That's kind of what I'm like, that's how I've always felt."
I remember always being jealous of girls, feeling like I had been shoved into a male role and wishing I could try on girl's clothes and make up and stuff, but whenever I did I would get really sad because it would remind me that I'm a boy and after puberty hit I would get especially upset that the clothes didn't fit me and that shit would make me so angry and frustrated. Of course presenting as a boy was fine since that was natural for me and what was expected.
I remember first becoming a sexual person and being interested in girls and looking at twinky guys and traps on 4chan and being jealous of their looks, how they acted, how they got to act and be treated, and being even more jealous of girls. I would fantasize about having the girl body, the soft skin, the youthful appearance, the cuteness and the cute mannerisms, but I still enjoyed presenting as a boy most of them time, but that desire to enjoy female fashion just like cis girls did would remain.
I knew there was an option for me to transition and that people who transitioned could be very successful, but it wasn't what I wanted. I couldn't imagine sex as a girl, it didn't turn me on. I liked having a penis, but for some reason I wanted it to be smaller, I wanted everything about me to be smaller. I wished I was shorter than most girls.
Sorry if this isn't thought out very well but could I be trans? I'm confused as fuck.
>>5315849
Absolutely, in my opinion.
