I would be open about being gay if I actually thought that I was gay. It really sucks that I have never really had that big of an interest in sexuality when I was growing up. People always say that they knew they were gay since they were really young or something. I just feel like saying "okay well good for you, why the fuck should I care?" Because what they have is a luxury. I'm in my 20s and I'm still trying to decide whether or not I like guys or girls. From what I can tell I don't really have much attraction towards that many guys and I don't really even care about women at all. I don't ever look at pictures of naked women, I don't feel the motivation to go and talk women out on a date or something. I have taken like two guys out on a date from okcupid just because they were the first people that messaged me and I didn't want to be picky. I hated going on a date with them but that's because they were just shitty people. I feel like my attraction to guys is superficial. If a guy isn't attractive then I don't think I would want to date him, so what the fuck is my sexuality? It feels all warped and fucked up.
Have you ever had strong romantic feelings for anyone?
I feel mostly the same way OP
But I guess we have the rest of our lives to figure this out.
You are setting yourself up for a slump. You can't backwards engineer this, and you can't find the solution through thinking. Remember, you can't solve a problem with the same thinking you used to create them.
Welcome letting go of these thoughts, every time they show up in your mind allow them to be but don't try to conclude them. They are just thoughts and are not part of who you really are.
Life isn't miraculously going to work itself out for you if you do this, but it's great starting point for desperation. Find other areas in your life to focus on. Learn to fall in love with your ideas until they bring you new ideas. Don't stress out over it, and learn to let go of the past. Try to be as much present in the moment as you can be.
>>5277986
Just saying I had no idea I was gay until I was 21. I always just assumed I wasn't gay from a young age because I thought being gay meant acting like a woman (I didn't meet another gay person until college, and this was before the Internet was big so I just had to go off TV and movies). I felt like I couldn't possibly be gay because every gay person I talked to always knew.
>>5277986
first of all, never feel like you have to choose between men or women exclusively. second, my best idea for what you are is some form of asexuality (or having a low sex drive if you dont subscribe to being asexual). maybe try not to feel compelled to date anyone and just tend to your own business for a while. your problem could just resolve itself.
>>5277998
Not really. I fantasize about people, but I don't think that was really anything more than just romanticizing. Like as if I was just trying to imagine in my head something romantic, not actually feel an instinctual compelled emotion.
