Has anyone successfully gotten over (or found out it was made up) dysphoria or AGP by getting a gf?
The first reaction that I always hear is "no that doesn't work," but then it's probably because the people who have been successful are just out leading normal lives.
>>6541835
>slight AGP here
I feel like getting with a guy, romantically, and sexually would help me get over it, but idk, it's probably different for everyone.
>>6541835
It all depends honestly. Some guys "become trans" because it's a way to cope with not having girlfriend. They basically turn themselves into the girlfriend that they can't get, or mild AGP if you will. Unless you're feeling dysphoria I woundn't advise transitioning as it can result in turning you transgender even though you might never have been. Estrogen has neurological effects on the brain that once it's started can actually change the way you think and act, as well as how you perceive things emotionally. There have been countless studies as well showing that being the second child out of your mother can lead to a higher rate of homosexualtiy and transgenderism due to the fact that the uterus is flooded with estrogen after the first birth is complete. Estrogen, while not as physically potent as testosterone, can be extremely potent mentally.
>>6542102
>second child
>"only" agp and no gf before
>dysphoria got worse after taking estrogen
just end my life rn tbh fam
>>6542102
actually what the fuck yo
what if the estrogen is just fucking with my brain, making it so that it wants to be more feminine, completely as a result of the hormones, whereas if i had taken test i would have felt more dysphoric at not being manlier, which would actually be attainable? what the fuck
>>6542268
As crazy as it sounds it's basically like trying to "break the matrix" of real life. You need to be able to differentiate whether or not you were formally as feminine as you are now and whether or not you truly were that way all along, or if HRT changed you. If you came to terms with being transgender and accepted it before starting HRT and then began acting more feminine because you were mentally free, you might have truly been trans. On the other hand though some people get so wrapped up in the delusion that they can't tell the difference which is why looking at your childhood is important. Did you crossdress before without it being a turn on? Did you have to restrain yourself from certain activities or mannerisms because they were too feminine? Like I said before for some people being trans is an escape from being alone, which isn't always a bad thing if you're happier after the transition, but at the same time a lot of people who successfully transition still aren't happy and that's because they did it for the wrong reasons. The best way to break this if you feel it's you is to ignore the worsened dysphoria when it interferes with your goals. Tell yourself that the pills caused this and that you weren't like this before. Putting a reasonable and stable look on why you're "suddenly this way" can help keep you calm and sane. It can really help those that are having a hard time trying to break the cycle of going on and off hormones because they don't "want to be trans" anymore.
>>6542342
I guess I see what you're saying. It's definitely unique which is good
i don't really buy into the whole "suppressed femininity" thing though. i mean, i think that just ends up creating hon nutjobs.
i can't say that i didn't have anything that was suspect in retrospect, but i do wonder how much of this is artificial. i probably wouldn't really even care if i knew i would pass fine and everything, but i'm worried that if i just act like everything's ok and then it turns out not to be, i'll just end up right back to where i am, years older and honnier
>>6546567
If you want to be able to think on the decision longer, but don't want to get more masculine, you can always self med with just an anti androgen. You'll slow down the testosterone significantly without putting in the factor of estrogen while you decide. This way if you do decide no it won't be harder to break like it would be if you had started estrogen too. Make sure to check out /mtfg/ and the pastebin drop they have at the begining of every thread as it can be a really good resource as well.
>>6541835
My dysphoria was definitely lessened when I first got into a LTR, but as that relationship continued, and the initial buzz of excitement dropped off dysphoria was back full swing. And she was a TERF who made me more repressed than prior.
My next relationship I was a lot more open with my feelings around my gender from the start, and I came out well before that relationship ended for reasons entirely separate from me being trans.
Have been out for 7 months now, not on mones yet (Likely starting next month), feeling more comfortable with being trans than ever before and now dating a 2 people in a poly situation (Funnily enough, both of whom are trans, one MTF and one FTM). Dysphoria is pretty disconnected to my romantic success now, I'm just way more comfortable being open with it and dysphoria's improving as I socially transition.
>>6542102
But Anon testosterone makes you aggressive while estrogen does not don't you want docile nice trannies as fellow citizens instead of aggressive men?
>>6542102
>can lead to a higher rate of homosexualtiy and transgenderism due to the fact that the uterus is flooded with estrogen after the first birth is complete.
that is the biggest load of bullshit i ever heard
>>6542342
>..Did you crossdress before without it being a turn on?
Not that person.
Hearing the tales told in /agpg/ is actually super interesting as far as this question goes. It seems like it is extremely common to fantasize about becoming a girl for years before puberty then crossdressing and getting turned on by it. Kind of made us wonder whether the fetish is a coping mechanism by which you can express things you can't admit to otherwise.
>>6516644
>>6516528
>>6516362
>>6547079
dunno about the causation but anon isn't making it all up
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fraternal_birth_order_and_male_sexual_orientation
>>6547092
>tfw if i weren't such a reserved little shit maybe i would have said i wanted to be a girl when i was little and then gotten checked out
>>6542102
The second child in my family turned out to be the only one NOT gay or trans out of four children.
>>6546791
Only coherent person in this thread.
>>6541835
Help /lgbt/ how do I cure my bf of agp
>>6548461
>agp guy got a gf
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>6548461
I offer no advice because I have no idea. But I have some questions, if you don't mind. Are you a woman? Do you want to cure him because he's a good boyfriend and/or to alleviate his suffering? If he's a good boyfriend, what does he do right? Is he your first?
>>6550295
Don't worry, you're not missing out on anything. It doesn't cure them of AGP, it's just like when an epi-pen wears off and the allergic reaction is still going.
>>6547583
>I know this pain...
>>6550362
>Are you a woman?
Yes I'm a (cis) female.
>Do you want to cure him because he's a good boyfriend and/or to alleviate his suffering?
I want to cure him because I don't want him to turn into a hon in the future. Also because he wants... some things in and out of bed that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. He's a good bf for the most part, although sometimes I really wish we hadn't met, or that I'd stopped being interested in him after finding out about how he's like (not just the agp there are also some other issues)
>If he's a good boyfriend, what does he do right?
He's caring and affectionate. He's attractive (inb4 reeeeee). And smart and interesting.
>Is he your first?
Yes, I suppose? We've tried PIV but he never stays hard for that, but he's the first guy to attempt sticking it in me...
>>6550830
what's a hon
>>6550843
it's that game kind of like dota and league of plebs
>>6550843
Like one of those men who have a mid-life crisis and decide they actually want to be a woman all along so they transition and go on susans.org and act coyingly sweet and call each other "hon" and think they pass when they're actually all like stefonknee
>>6541835
As someone who had the benefit of being an ultra attractive male who basically spent more time in relationships than not....
i can say that no, getting a gf doesn't really help. For me, what had happened is that my dysphoria which plagued me throughout childhood disappeared after puberty because A: the rush of testosterone flooding my system and B: dating a girl became, for me and possibly yourself, a sort of way to experience and live a feminine lifestyle or as a woman vicariously through your girlfriend and C: being trans and gay/lesbian can easily fuck you up in that straight/male trans/lesbian overlap ifyou are sufficiently in denial about it.
It becomes like a mental coping strategy. You are drawn to and enjoy the company and time spent with your gf - but not necessarily her herself. Just what she means to you at peak denial.
It gets breddy fucked up. relationships collapse the moment your straight gf's start hitting walls and mental blocks you refuse to let them into or that you dont comprehend yourself. They feel you are dishonest and shifty, and you are, because the closer they get to you the closer they get to that network of denial you constructed for yourself.
Fortunately i eventually dated a queer or mostly lesbian girl who started dating me at a time of her own shortlived gender confusion, doing virtually the same as me. Dating a hot guy to live vicariously through how she saw me, since she wanted to be me. She soon found that, in that keenness to emulate and live vicariously through my socially commanding, masculine gestures and body language in public- in private i softened and were alot "smaller, gentler" and even saw feminine body language she saw in past girlfriends.. Seeing that and how i put up an act in public and around friends was enough for her to go "oh shit" and raise the question. The rest is history/hell. lmfao
>>6550931
well living through a gf is probably not so bad, is it? plus you get intimacy, which i definitely don't have
>>6547583
>be long haired young boy of small size
>parents ried to get me to get short hair for a bit but they quickly me do what I wanted
>get picked on because long hair and small size
>watched lotr
>decided when I was older I wanted to be a dwarf
>fast forward get called miss quite a lot of time before I began to grow a beard
>now puberty's over
>hair is everywhere, fuck I don't like body hair
>beard is pretty good but...
>slender and short body of a fucking fairy
>get introduced to the chinese cartoons
>devellop creeping AGP
I never had realistic expectations for my body anyway.
>>6541835
I got with my current girlfriend 5 years ago, hoping it'd take care of the dysphoria. It didn't help at all. I just told her and she's being super supportive and I'm excited to start life as a male.
>>6556049
At least they gave in. I used to cry and scream and hold on to shit when they would make me get it cut. I never won
>>6547107
Blanchard is kind of weird
>>6556122
>start life as a male
wait so you're biologically female?
>>6550931
I did this with every girl friend I had. I was a also a switch meaning, depending on the girl and the mood I would be sub/dom.
I would always ask my girlfriends what things felt like for them, and try and imagine myself as them. (One of the reasons they quote me as one of their best lovers out of many) I would picture myself as them and then fuck them the way I would want to be fucked. (even though I am a transbian now, I still fantasize about having sex with men/a dick but could never have a relationship with one)
Ironically every girl I have ever dated later came out as Bi (or was out as Bi when I met them... Validation much haha?)
My current girlfriend was dating me pre transition and we are still together. She is really smart, and queer/Bi so she understands some things better than most but dysphoria still is a mystery to her.
I would say that being with her actually makes me more disphoric in the same sense seeing a beautiful girl makes me dysphoric. Like she has larger breasts and so get boob envy a lot. (She likes that I have smaller breasts, kind of gives her a dominance that she enjoys)
Unfortunately being an attractive male pre transition usually means (like in my case) you have a starkly male strong jaw etc. So My skull makes me want to kill myself sometimes. Life is fucking dumb.
That said I think the living through your girlfriend kind of thing is really common among transwomen.
Side note this board needs to stop shitting on transbians.
>>6552112
Not that anon, but your issues won't get solved that way.
There's nothing wrong with escapism and intimacy, but it won't solve your issues. Eventually your issues will rear their ugly hydra heads and your relationship will turn just as sour as if you stayed single.
>>6541835
Here's where things get complex. I'm biscum MtF and I had a gf prior to transition who is likely going to leave me now that I am in transition mode. Doing this for myself no one else.
>>6541835
I tried and it made it worse. And I wanted it to work so much but it just made my dysphoria even worse to be in a relationship where I was "the man" and gender was even more prevalent. I had like a mini breakdown and it hurt both of us and it was just really shitty.
I was pretty attractive as a guy imo and girls would ask me on dates so its not like I couldn't get a girlfriend or something. I could, I was just too broken.
When I decided to transition I basically accepted that probably no one would ever want me and I might never pass and that life would always be harder, but it was the only way I had a chance at ever being happy.
>>6542102
>>6542342
Why would someone transition to be less alone? Even if you pass completely you're still only one person.
I feel like denying you're trans and saying that it's probably just a fetish or something is 99% of the time just a denial mechanism. Nobody wants to transition. Nobody wants to one of the most marginalized groups of society.
And memories are very very unreliable. Like sure I can see signs from when I was younger, but didn't EVERYBODY at least experiment with gender or question their gender at some point, and theres no way to know that the memories from 10 or 15 years ago are accurate. And there are a lot of other reasons to crossdress without being trans and reasons not to crossdress if you are trans.
Bottom line is if you have dysphoria you're transgender. Fuck the mental gymnastics of trying to justify it or deny it. It might not be bad enough to want/need to transition, and that's your decision but it doesn't change that fact that you are deep down transgender. If you've had dysphoria for a long time stop looking for secret signs that maybe it's just "all in your head" and convincing yourself that you're just making it up for some convoluted reason.
>>6541835
>but then it's probably because the people who have been successful are just out leading normal lives
>I don't have any evidence to suggest it but I HAVE to be right so the evidence MUST just be hidden! prove me wrong :^)
>>6560691
>no trans women ever pass
>I can clock every single tranny it's so easy
>I have literally never seen a tranny ever
