Hi first time poster, long time lurker and seems the best site to help (mostly on /his/, /news/, /TV/ & /pol/ though.
Got a problem at work where im working with this older guy (like pic related) from Ghana, he's really nice to me and has been dropping hints he likes me (mentioned out of the blue in Ghana its traditonal to leave your wife after a certain amount of years, wasnt happy to bring up his wife in conversation, wanted to chat about me and what i like) and all this is concerning for me because not only is he a work collouge but also that he's black and muslim and I kinda dont like that part...I mean i find both groups disgusting but not him. Is it just lust/fetish? I feel like i shouldnt want this but I do like his company, What gives?
TLDR: Im quite racist but I;m getting feelings for a black muslim co-worker, what gives?
>>6529073
He's not into you... in ghana gays still get killed... you're just delusional
>>6529073
You find both groups disgusting because of pre-conceived notions you would never about discarding or changing by yourself.
Human attraction and personalities are not compatible by race. Sure, culture and upbringing always play a factor, but ultimately they are not definite focused things.
You like him because he is a person you like. Race has little to do with it.
Racial differences are hardly a hurdle, and even the thickest cultural differences can be overcome. Only the small-minded fail to do so and ruin potential gratifying relationships out of irrational fears.
Go for it op, have a good time, and have an experience. A chance that will likely not come again so quickly.
Eventually you'll die, and if you don't do it, you'll probably die full of regret. So what are you waiting for.
>>6529088
This. His repression is going to go off one day and he'll behead you
>>6529088
>>6529107
Lol yeah but he likes in my country like, 6 years, i think it was an arranged marraige also.
I might be making excuses because i want him but im pretty sure he wouldnt act so diffrent with me when its just me and him on shift...
...unless he's trying to suss me out as a gay so he can then behead me o_O;
>>6529099
look, I've been with women & men before sexually before i settled with my current GF, thought id sewn all my 'wild seeds' or whatever.
Now this has happenend though and makes me not only question my sexuality but my politics.
I mean, can i have both? like hatred for what he is/represents but still have his body? I might even be able to change him for the better in the long run, i dunno.
>>6529169
>I mean, can i have both? like hatred for what he is/represents but still have his body?
It takes a retard not to accept that miniscule cultural differences and miscommunication of bad ideals are the foundation for most conflicts in the western world when the proof of that is staring them right in the face.
If you have a gf, don't be an asshole. Don't cheat on her with another person.
>>6529184
Right first off theres no need to be rude.
secondly it is not 'miniscule' diffrences, nor do I wish it to be because thats why i find him so exotic.
Part of the reason i find him so appealing is because he seems special. Not like your average group of his type, like he desperatly wants to be seperate from it, be something more.
>If you have a gf, don't be an asshole. Don't cheat on her with another person.
yeah i agree but quite honestly she does nothing for me other than an emotional level. Ive gave her time to change but she seems content to gain weight and be lazy, even though i try to improve her as a person id find attractive.
I only 'love' her beacuse shes been with me about 4 years and we've been through alot together. She makes me feel trapped in alot of ways, like i might as well resign myself to just her.
This guy has it right in alot of ways.
Just do it.
>>6529258
>Right first off theres no need to be rude.
>>>/reddit/
And it sounds like you can't accept he just seems like a normal guy like you.
Perhaps you're genuine when you say that you just find him exotic. But I don't buy it. But that's just me and irrelevant to your proceedings.
Either way, if you want to fuck a dude, quit your girlfriend.
Don't go behind her back just to test if you're in for it or not.
Imo, you sound unhappy about not being able to pursue. I would suggest perhaps breaking up and going for it. If it doesn't work, you gambled and lost. But at least you made a valuable experience.
And the way you briefly described your relationship seems like it is not all that important to you, and more of a burden by now.
>>6529073
>muslim
Drop him.
>>6529073
>Ghana
Prepare to be pozzed.
>>6529258
Holy shit you are literally a walking stereotype for biscum.
>>6529258
1. Don't go out with this random dude
2. Break up with your girlfriend. You don't love her, you're just comfortable with her.
Find a healthy relationship. Do you even know if he's into guys?
Honestly if you're feeling trapped in your relationship and you've tried to salvage it with no luck, it's probably time to break up.
Not so sure you ought to act on your work crush. See how it goes, I guess. But religious and cultural dogma is a hell of a thing. Speaking as a guy with one side of the family east African (some of them Muslim), I would not date an African unless they were my age and already at peace with their identity/moved in LGBT circles.
>>6529397
dont want to reaffairm this guy' beleifs>>6529421
but why should I gamble until im sure myself? theres alot riding on my straight relationship, like marraige and children. If I do leave id have to go on the hunt for another woman, which is tiring, paticularly with my work.
Being exclusivly with men doesnt appeal to me much. only if it were a truly wonderful friendship with sex for me. women seem like good long term deals and can make me a child.
>>6529415
whats a pozzed? like gay-beating or worse?
>>6529453
>>6529399
you two are probably right. I think I should forget him in that light unless he pysically does some advances on me, then i might resist verbally a bit until im sure he's serious and then succumb to jungle fever...sounds like a plan!
>>6529473
yeah he's a bit..no alot older than me. like 50 or something. like im half his age i bet. so yeah my biggest worry is the religious angle of it all like you say.
I suppose ill have to look for a good, discreet black guy to fill the longing im having, that should help, right? like a club in the city i guess.
>>6529604
oh yeah just to point out, when i said friendship with sex i also meant causual, no strings attached too but only if its really safe/only involved non anal sex.
>>6529604
>whats a pozzed? like gay-beating or worse?
HIV+
>I suppose ill have to look for a good, discreet black guy to fill the longing im having, that should help, right? like a club in the city i guess.
If you break up with your girlfriend first, sure. You're treating her like a chore, not a partner. At the very least, she deserves better than you.
You'll find someone who has everything you want and can still keep you excited, anon, trust me. A loveless marriage is worse than no marriage at all.
