i keep opening this page and writing a sentence and closing it again.
i have never been sexually assaulted, to my knowledge. i have never
been coerced into sex or have had people touch me without my
consent.
i have had sex that is quick and uncomfortable and that i have
wanted to stop but felt deep in the heart of me "this is what i deserve,
this is all i can get"
i am reading the accounts of people who have had terrible things
done to them. i am reading the accounts of people who recount the
experience as having their body used by another body, one body
taking away dignity, mobility, freedom, from another
i am feeling sick to the pit of my stomach
every year when i go home to see my parents my mother always
cautions me to watch my drinks in bars
every time i walk home alone at night i keep my eyes on the alleys
friends tell me i'm lucky that from the back, at night, i have a
masculine silhouette
what is this reason that people take agency from others and oh god
why is it done so often to my friends, my lovers, my peers, my
inspirers
they deserved none of it
i want to buy a pair of brass knuckles and go into the street and fight
every man i see making advances to drunk girls on the side walk. i
want to punch in the teeth of every man saying that they don't want
anything romantic or physical and reneging that at night in the dark
i want to destroy what hurts and what takes away the comfort in the
body of my loved ones
i want to know what my friends could be like without that shadow
trailing behind them, creeping up, creating a tendency for panic
attacks in certain situations that nobody else will understand
i am angry
we are told to protect ourselves we are told to be ever vigilant we are
told to cover up, cover up, we are told to be kind and smile we are
told so many strategies we are told we are safe nowhere with no one
i want to move through this world with the confidence of safety. i want
to no longer cower, i want to no longer clench my keys tightly in my
fist when i see a dark shadow in the street. i want to be able to be
ignorant of the ways to get out of the grip of an assailant: kick the
shins, stomp the toes, pinch hard anywhere you can reach but
especially the armpits, go for dirtiness not finesse, and of course if
you can, go for the testes
i am angry, and i am sick, and i am tired
>>6505035
i am seeing my friends suffering and keeping that suffering stuffed
inside them for them to remember every time someone else lays their
hands on them
there is a reason i ask before i hug, i ask before i touch, i ask before i
put my hand on someone's shoulder
there is a reason why if i didn't they would shy away and look at me
with wide terrified eyes
i am seeing people i know as vibrant and happy coming out with
stories of abuse and despite all i want to do, all my anger
i am not able to undo the past
to many men, my words will not be taken seriously
to many men, i am just another body with breasts vagina asshole
they can use for their pleasure
to many men i am another voiceless conquest, someone to brag
about to their friends, laughing, drinking
to many men i am nothing but a shell
to the people who have been assaulted, who have been raped
i am sending love to you, endlessly
you will survive this
you still have agency
you still have anger
maybe you will never be able to go to certain places anymore
or do certain things
but you are powerful and you set the boundaries for yourself
you will grow and you will learn and you will be more than anyone
who could harm you could ever hope to be
thank you tiffany, thank you isabel, thank you astoria, thank you
sophia. thank you everyone who has bravely shared their
experiences. you are loved and you are powerful.
>>6505028
Im cis. But thank you for that.
>>6505179
You're welcome.
>>6505035
>i want to buy a pair of brass knuckles
That's illegal, if you're going to use anything other than your bare fists do the keys in the fists thing
also men can be raped/sexually assaulted
source: It happened to me
You should stop writing self-insert rape fiction poetry and spend your time doing something productive.
>>6507156
I'm telling her to do something better with her time, like learning a language or volunteering with the homeless.
This is just self-indulgent all-caps bullshit. It has absolutely no merit outside of showing how passionate OP is about wanting to be raped.
>>6508755
Ummm, no.
It is a letter to her friends who have been raped. Check your reading comprehension.
>>6505513
Its only illegal in most states of the US and its easy to buy a buy sold as belt buckles and bottle openers.
Same with switchblades and butterfly knives. Easy as shit to get them in states where they are illegal because of loop holes.
Men get raped also. by men, AND by women. I speak from experience as well. it can utterly destroy someones chances of being in a loving relationship.Date rape drugs dont just work on women.
As I chose to understand it, human agency is a hell of a drug, especially if it's someone else's
It doesn't even have to be violent, or necessarily someone older or stronger
I remember many, many tender nights and it still feels as if I willingly participated, even as the memory burns and stains my thinking
I'll never be able to undo or correct my youthful escapades, nor escape the shadow I cast over myself
And that's what it is to be alive
