Guns at the range gossiping about their owners.
>>30552949
I saw the face of god and it was weeping
>>30552949
>pssst, hey fal
>go away
>psst, hey, hey fal!
>go away!
>hayyyyyyyyy faaaal!
>fuck off!
>what's Mugabe taste like? chocolate?
>I SAID FUCK OFF!
>>30552949
>This fucking moron
>Holy shit why is it so hot
>Wait...
>Is that
>No
>STEEL
>FUCKING STOP NO-gagging and vomiting ensue-
I'm like Hitler to my guns
>>30552949
I can't help but think of my Mauser and Tavor fake smiling at each other like women who hate each other but can't show it in public.
>>30552949
>it's post inrange mud test
>range is now swarmed with AR-15s following behind the once-smug AK-47s, grinning like the Cheshire cat
>the ak's owner is having a mild stroke in the back room
>why won't he take me to the range and shoot me?!?
92fs
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
>dear god I hate mag dump day
>>30552949
GODDAMN WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THIS FAGGOT TOOK A SHOWER!?
>>30552949
>hey jess, you see that brown bolt girl downrange?
>my owner put me down beside her a while ago, and I swear to god I thought I'd be smotherd. She REEKS of cosmo!
>and that's not even the worst part, her gopnik owner is shooting her like that! bet the weirdo likes being slimy... Uch...
>>30552949
>lol m9 the only reason your master carries a gun as big and ugly as you is because he can hide you under his fat
>Hi-Power: Hey Garand.
>Garand: Trying to take a shot here Browning.
>Hi-Power: Right, sorry.
>Garand:...
>Hi-Power: PING!
Garand flinches and fires way off target
>Garand:THAT'S IT!
Garand proceeds to chase Browning around the range, threatening to 'shove a .30 down her barrel.'
AR15
>I was his first you know
ak74
>he takes me out more often.
>>30552949
>hey... what's that teen doing with that Springfield?
>You didn't hear him talking? That's his first gun.
>What?! Bullshit! the fuck is an 18 year old doing with a milf? Shouldn't he have some 10/22?
>I guess he has a thing for "older" girls...
>you mean "milsurp sluts that've seen more men than bullets." weirdo.
>>30552949
Gun 1: My owner rides my slide all day long!
Gun 2: Gross you filthy degenerate.
>Hey, has anyone seen that Garand lately? It's been a while.
>He's with his first user now...
>yeah that's it baby stick me full of your hot loads and your finger, then make me go bang and slap me around for a while
Gate loading lever guns are surprisingly lewd.
Heritage Rough Rider:
"I was his first, he's gonna use me first"
Taurus Millenium G2:
"Actually you're the second. The first one was a used version of you that sits in his closet disassembled because he lost a few pieces in his messy room"
Heritage Rough Rider:
"THAT'S NOT TRUE! I'M HIS FAVORITE! Isn't that right, Over-Under?"
Mossberg Maverick:
"He says he bought me to learn trap shooting....all we ever do is fire 00 buckshot at the range! I FEEL LIED TO!"
>haha learn to sight me you fucker
>Maybe take off the irons or red dot instead of trying to do both at once
>What you want to actually hit paper? Get fucked you stupid faggot
>Oh you mad?
>Lul, actually going to try and do ir right for once?
>Taking of the irons? Pussy.
>A-and the reddot?
>Oh... oh god senpai... I have no eyes...
>OH GOD WHY ARE YOU HITTING THE BLACK NOW
>REEEEEEE
>M1A: Wow, I can't believe master brought his sister with him.
>Mini-14: She was curious after she saw us both on his Facebook page. She's not bad for a beginner.
>M1A: I hope so, I heard her say wants to take a shot with me next.
Several shots later.
>Mini-14:...Really?
>M1A: What? She called me fat!
>Mini-14: She said you were heavy for her! You didn't have to kick her as much as you did!
>M1A: Ah, she'll live.
>Mini-14: Fucking hell girl, this is why you don't leave the safe much...
>>30555964
to be fair she is fat
>>30553112
>sensible chuckle
>>30558039
she's not fat she's curvy there's a difference. the g11 is fat
>>30558039
>M14
>Fat
THICC N CURVY WITH THAT WALNUT STAIN
>He's too busy catching Pokemon.
>We've been here an hour.
>My barrel is'nt even hot.
>you guys seem like pretty good guns.
>wish my owner wasnt poor and could get me some friends.
>Maybe he'll figure out how to fucking zero me one day.
>AR-15: You know, of you're just going to finger fuck the rental guns I don't know why you bothered bringing me in the first place...
>AR-15: No I'm not jealous, shut up!
>>30559633
lol
>>30554442
Is nogunz losing their virginity to experienced guns the norm or is getting a new gun standard practice?
>>30563199
personification of firearms doesn't make too much sense because it would mean that one rifle could be the wife to like 6 people over 40 years
>>30563252
Have you seen divorce stats for the 20th century? That's totally reasonable from some turbo bitch born in the 40s.
>>30552949
>so, remember those old mags he bought me?
>yeah yeah yeah, I know where this is headed; AK, shut the fuck up, we know that you're the only one he's ever bought shit for, so stop rubbing it in
>Mauser, you're one to talk; he got you stripper clips before he got me mags
>and? He bought the wrong kind and worst of all they had IRANIAN AMMO ON THEM.
>oh the horror.
>AND HE NEVER FEEDS ME ANYTHING ELSE!
>you know, cause PPU is Iranian.
>hush.
>anyways, he cut holes in the side to make me more "tacticool"
>bullshit
>he did
>well, do they feel nice?
>yeah, they make it all light and airy.
>well that must feel good
>uhuh. It does
>well then maybe he'll finally hit more than five rounds out of a mag from you.
>fuck you you damn communist
>you're polish
>FUCK You.
Anyways, that's just the AK and M48.
I have no idea what kind of profanity/gossip/conversations go on between my handguns.
Good grief the Jericho is a cheap bitch.
>>30563270
nobody normal would want that woman, whereas me wanting a lee is fairly average.
>>30563337
Care to share some pics of the M48?
>>30565147
Sure.
It's my Mauser.
Her name's Caroline.
these threads are so autistic
>>30565933
you are correct.
>>30565933
You say that like it's a bad thing.
>>30565933
>a magical place
>dear god, are his hands always this sweaty?
>can he really only afford Tula?
>what's that smell?
>ah fucking shit, there's grease and pus all over my stock from his cheek now!
