Emergency shit
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You are currently reading a thread in /k/ - Weapons
You are currently reading a thread in /k/ - Weapons
Ok, to preface this, I am a very anxious person. But I feel that it kinda gets out of hand. I'm fairly new to firearms and whenever I hold a loaded gun and know that I'm going to shoot with it I have this insane, unstoppable urge to shit. What the hell is going on? My dad told me that it has something to do with the primal fight or flight reflex. He told me that back in his army days, whenever a big operation lied ahead the toilets were always occupied and that it's normal to some extend. But this is ridiculous, it's not like I'm going on a suicide mission, I'm just about to shoot some inanimate objects. Every 6 old girl handles is better than me. Anyone else got similar ecperiences?
took me a while to stop laughing
>>30550721
Just hold your asshole tight, and fire away.
>>30550831
There is nothing tight about OPs asshole.
>>30550721
About to give the "dump pouch" a whole new use.
High quality thread
>>30550721
just slide your pants down below the asshole and start shooting
dress like a faggy teenager in general and just be like "woah man sorry i'm a faggy teenager and i dress with my skinny jeans this low am i being detained?"
i'd be more worried about people at the range staring at things other than your potentially loaded gun as a safety threat.
>>30550721
Just keep those cheeks squeezed together and you'll be OK.
>>30551183
Doesn't sound legit. They'd just ask if you needed medical attention. Especially at a place where old people hang out, IE the gun range.
>>30550721
OP serious question
do you have consistently not solid shits? not diarrhea but obviously not solid
>>30551183
Deserved everything he got for eating shitty food.
>>30552193
Not OP, but I do. What's the cause?
>>30550721
I get erect when I shoot
>>30552193
Not solid at all, but not diarrhea-ry, you're completely right.
>>30552193
>>30557000
Why is it serious though? I'm kinda scared now, my man.
>>30553526
>>30557000
>>30557006
for me its Ischemic Colitis but it could range from crohns to cancer
shit sucks but you can get by pretty easy with it. You have a constant urge to shit when you get antsy but it never really gets severe to where you just shit yourself.
also as a bonus if it is the same as me then congratulations! your immune from the MRE brick shit
>>30557804
So what I gather from this is, that my entire existence might be completely fucked.
>>30557840
nobody lives forever brother
>>30552221
>talking shit on the best fast-food chili cheese tots in existence
please don't, this is my trigger, senpai.
Sounds like you got some serious anxiety anon. Are you an anxious person generally or in other situations?
>>30550721
>fight or flight
pretty much this.
Basically your body wants to shit and piss to make sure you're empty and ready to engage in combat or run like a bitch.
A lot of dudes would take massive shits before we went out on patrol in A-stan.
>>30557804
I've got colitis as well. Like he said it's not the worst but it ain't roaring fun either.
Op I'd also suggest ibs is in the range of possibilities.
Go see a dr.
>>30557941
I was actually diagnosed with severe depression disorder and social anxiety disorder. So I'm always on the edge, but now I think that I may have some fucking, terminal intestine disease, because of what that other anon wrote. Everything is fucked.
>>30557969
Different anon here. Do you consume lots of caffeine?
>>30557983
No, I don't drink any coffee at all.
>>30557988
tea and soda have caffeine.
>>30557990
None of that either. I really have to go to the doc, monday morning.
>>30558004
you got mucus in your poop?
>>30558028
Yeah
>>30558034
Well friend, have fun with your IBS.
You probably feel like sometimes you don't complete a shit, too? Am I right?
non life-threatening, you'll have it forever, and it's totally benign.
It's just kind of annoying. SSRIs can help, as can probiotics and supplements.
You're fine, a lot of people have it.
>>30558050
No, I don't think I'm fine. If I go to the doc and he tells me I have something I can't get rid of I end it then and there. Fuck this, life is already hard enough with just severe depression- and social anxiety disorder. If I don't even have a healthy body there is no point in going on. Like I don't already have enough shit to deal with. Fucking shit, everything is fucked.
>>30558070
nobody has a "healthy" body fucko. Everybody has some minor health issue they live with
if your such a self defeating pussy then why are you on a board that talks about the tools of self defense
>>30558070
Well, I mean, I've had untreated IBS since I was like, early teens, and I'm completely fine.
The fact that you've dealt with this for so long and never sought out treatment tells me you have some really mild shit.
You're fine, stop being a pussy.
I had to learn how to walk again, bitch, you can figure out how to shit a couple extra times a day.
>>30558070
Bye Felicia
The need to drop a tactical dump is a completely normal reaction my friend :^)
>>30558070
It's not a big deal. Im these anons>>30557941
>>30557959
Ibs and colitis aren't death sentences and are pretty easy to live with. With colitis you shit a little blood, take a couple of pills, improve, get a colonoscopy every two years where you are pumped full of sweet intravenous narcotics, then get your hemroids done after 10 years. I personally feel great. Ibs is significantly less severe.
also anon for colitis especially it means your body is actually too strong since your immune system is working on itself.
Try loosening your belt a bit. That helps my feel better. When things are angry down there, pressure can irritate it.
Only shit I ever took at the range was a fun story.
>be 18 year old me
>its birthday
>eat a hearty breakfast of oreos and donuts
>parents decide to surprise me
>take me on a trip to a guy who rents full auto guns
>range is an assortment of furniture, containers, and scrapwood on the edge of a forest.
>get to shoot an Uzi, Sterling L3A2, M16A3, AKM, and AKSU
>after blasting away my stomach starts to rumble
>while my parents are talking politics with the guy I waddle off clenching my ass cheeks into the woods
>squat down and let loose what looked lite melted chocolate
>have to cut up shit covered underware to wipe my ass with a new knife that got its first use then.
>leave the newly christened mount shit behind and go back to talking with the guy about the other stuff he owns
>tactically freeball it the rest of my birthday.
>>30550721
You got a serious case of faggotry.
You need to wear a diaper for the rest of your life, live like an adult baby who needs to be cared for everyday
>>30558522
mfw i used this as an excuse to undue my belt and top trouser button in uniform
but seriously though it fucking hurts sometimes
>>30550721
Had the same problem. Every time i went to the range i needed to shit after about 10 min.
Became a running joke.
My solution ....
I joined a range that has a nice air conditioned bathroom , with a relacing atmosphere. The bathroom even has a water feature for white noise.
>>30558771
>I joined a range that has a nice air conditioned bathroom , with a relacing atmosphere. The bathroom even has a water feature for white noise.
>The bathroom even has a water feature for white noise
mother fucker, where is this Beverly Hills?
>>30550721
get yourself a good poopsock OP
>>30559205
Missour. Stl benchcrest
>>30558050
If it is IBS (get it checked out),
this anon has the right idea.
Probiotics, like yakult, yoghurt, german sauerkraut, korean kimchi, this fermented stuff does wonders. Honestly. Try this if you have problems with your GI tract.
>>30558070
if you get a diagnosis, nothing changes anon. Your colon continues to function as it has been already. Chill out m8.
>/k/
>shitting and colon advice
Why do so many /k/ommandos have digestion problems, though?
>>30560893
Trying MREs.
>>30560893
> Recoil shaking up intestines
> Eating 50 year old MRE's
> Sitting on ass all day, working on their guns
> Licking stuff, that should not be licked
>>30561125
>placing stuff on ass that should not be placed on ass.
>>30550721
This will be to your advantage if you ever use a gun in self defense. The jury will see you shat yourself and instantly know you were truly scared for your life
>>30550721
I know the feeling. You have to focus on something other than shitting. Also read up on IBS.
Take a shit at your normal time and remember you are empty. Make sure you dont have any alcohol the day before, eatlots of fiber...ect.
>>30558629
kek of the day!
>>30562022
Actually that would be a good talking point for a decent lawyer.
>>30558355
I can't imagine how hot these things get
Performance anxiety.
>>30552178
i agree with this, sounds like it could be a serious medical condition and if it happened to me i would play that card
>>30560893
i promise you that it is because these people don't have an optimal diet. getting enough fiber is also key
>>30560893
Digestive problems are supposedly more prevalent in society at large these days. I am skeptical because I can believe an increase could be attributed to all the people going omg I had such pooping problems before then I went gluten free etc etc. I also think we have a better medical medical understanding of things and as we learn more more and more specific diagnosis become available and more and more people fit them because they are so narrow. I see the same thing in the psychological fields. Also our population is larger andore connected and more willing to go to the doctor than ever before.
