What's the Kekiest thing to have happened in the history of war?
I think the Palestinians win the prize for this one. They built two car bombs but they detonated early, killing only the drivers, because they forgot to set the timers on the bombs for daylight savings time. They won a Darwin Award for it.
>>30487517
>terrorism is war
Dubya plz leave, we got rid of you a long time ago
What the US did after the norks axe-murdered a couple of their guys on the DMZ
>>30487517
Unit 777 would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_777
>>30487529
You gonna go ahead and elaborate or are you a thumb-twiddling faggot?
>>30487517
Six day war
>>30487654
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axe_murder_incident
They scrambled B-52s and were nearly ready to start a nuclear war over it.
>>30487529
this
the murder wasn't funny, the US response was
Russian navy fuck ups during their war with the Japanese.
That guy who carried a longbow and backsword into world war 2
>>30487672
Most expensive tree trimming in history, top kek
>>30487672
>Several of the special forces men also had claymore mines strapped to their chests with the firing mechanism in their hands, and were shouting at the North Koreans to cross the bridge
Man, South Koreans are hardcore
>>30487517
There was a Palestinian suicide bomber that was supposed to detonate himself in a large shopping mall in my neighborhood but the driver that was supposed to bring him there got lost and let him out near my street which is just residential suburbs.
He wandered around near the school but it was empty (it was about 17:00). So he crossed the street to a shitty local restaurant called ''wallstreet'', made a theatrical entrance, opened up his raincoat (it was august and hot as hell) exposing the explosive vest and shouted allah akbar.
The thing didn't detonate and the few people there just run away and he was left standing there alone, pushing the button again and agian.
Than the thing detonated in an empty restaurant killing just him. His decapitated head landed accurately on the bar table and he also had his dick coated in some foil paper (so he can fuck the 72 virgins in paradise).
My friend's father was police bomb squad and showed him pictures of his squad m8s posing near the table with the head.
I have some more stories like that from that fucked up period...
>>30487832
Now that is funny
>>30487832
I take it you're an Israeli? Would like to hear some more stories. Also, got any pics from your friend of his dad posing?
Also that reminds me, I should ask my sister's friend, who is a citizen there now, about any stories of her own.
>>30487529
Just read the wiki
Entirely justified.
>>30487918
It was in 2001 people didn't have cellphones with cameras and a way to share them so pictures like that were actual photos that had to be developed. I will share more stories later when I'm home.
>>30487955
>>30487517
The funniest thing that happened in the history of war? Probably the 6 gorillion getting gassed. Eternal memes of gas bills, ashes, camps and trains.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_for_Castle_Itter
Gib movie pls
>>30487517
The army that fought itself.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes
the United States gave the Iraqi military MRAPs to fight ISIS with. The Iraqi's abandoned them, letting them fall into the hands of ISIS. ISIS used them as suicide vehicles against the Kurds, who could not stop them because they didn't have anything big enough to stop an MRAP. As a result, the US had to spend more than a few million dollars giving Kurds anti-tank weaponry so they could blow up US MRAPs.
Presumably the Kurds turned around and shot Iraqis instead.
>>30488015
>[citation needed] the article
>>30487672
>muh dear leaders tree
I'm fucking pissed
Half of pakistan's navy gets taken out by a couple of missile boats
>>30487832
Post the pics. I wanna see this
>>30488030
they dont learn do they
>late 80s: US arms muhdshaheddin to fight commies in a-stan
>early 2000s: US is now in a-stan and gets shrek'd by old US-made taliban stingers
>early 2010s: lets arm the iraqis/kurds/..., this can't go wrong
I just read a post on /k/ about some Austrian army in the late 18th century killing 10,000 of their own men because of some drunk gypsies.
Baron Adrian von Folkersam
>In early August 1942, a Brandenburger unit of 62 Baltic and Sudeten Germans led by von Fölkersam penetrated farther into enemy territory than any other German unit. They had been ordered to seize and secure the vital Maikop oilfields. Disguised as men of the dreaded Soviet security police, the NKVD, and driving Soviet trucks, Fölkersam's unit passed through the Soviet front lines and moved deep into hostile territory. The Brandenburgers ran into a large group of Red Army deserters fleeing from the front. Fölkersam saw an opportunity to use them to the unit's advantage. By persuading them to return to the Soviet cause, he was able to join with them and move almost at will through the Russian lines.
>Operating under the false identity of NKVD Major Truchin, based in Stalingrad, Fölkersam explained his role in recovering the deserters to the Soviet commander in charge of Maikop's defences. The commander not only believed Fölkersam, but the next day gave him a personal tour of the city's defenses. By August 8, the German spearheads were only 12 miles away and the Brandenburgers made their move. Using grenades to simulate an artillery attack, they knocked out the military communications centre for the city. Fölkersam then went to the Russian defenders and told them that a withdrawal was taking place. Having seen Fölkersam with their commander and lacking any communications to rebut or confirm his statement, the Soviets began to evacuate Maikop. The German spearhead entered the city without a fight on August 9, 1942.
>>30487832
That is beautiful if true
>>30488503
Holy fuck. It's like god himself willed that to happen.
Based Fritz Klingenberg's capture of Belgrade
April 11, Klingenberg’s instructions were to reconnoiter and establish checkpoints, secure any bridges and roads encountered, then hold for reinforcements. Heavy rains and melting snow had washed away nearly all soft surfaces, and bridges had been destroyed by retreating Yugoslav forces. The main avenues of approach to Belgrade were no longer viable routes, and the tanks would be hard pressed to continue without massive engineering support to clear those areas. After several hours of observing the stricken city from across the Danube River, Klingenberg believed that Belgrade was his for the taking, due to the confusion caused by the bombardments — provided his unit arrived in time. He had only 24 hours to submit a report to his command, and a decision had to be made quickly.
Klingenberg saw a chance to probe more deeply into the city’s environs when one of his men found an abandoned motorboat tied to a tree along the banks of the swollen Danube. Taking only one sergeant and five privates, he negotiated the treacherous river. The trip was extremely dangerous, the currents raging from the runoff of melting snow in the mountains and from torrential rains. The boat was overloaded, as well. Reaching the far side of the Danube, Klingenberg sent two men back to ferry more troops over before sunset. On the return trip, however the boat struck a submerged obstacle and sank. Klingenberg’s ‘navy’ ceased to exist, leaving the captain and six of his men stranded. They were totally isolated, with limited supplies and ammunition.
>>30488664
The squad advanced along the road and encountered a few British-made vehicles manned by Yugoslav soldiers. They captured two trucks and a bus, along with some 20 enemy soldiers. One of the men on the bus was an inebriated German tourist who had been trapped in Belgrade since the invasion started. The tourist, who spoke Croatian, had been apprehended as a spy by the Yugoslav soldiers and was being taken to be executed. He was still drunk and unaware of his impending fate. When he sobered up, he thought that he was still among his group of partygoers until he was informed of the situation. Klingenberg used him as an interpreter, in which capacity the grateful German was most helpful.
>>30488683
The SS men continued on, using their prisoners and a few captured uniforms to get past several enemy checkpoints. They made good progress the first day without any of the enemy checkpoint guards becoming suspicious. The Germans added the Yugoslav guards to the increasing number of prisoners they were collecting along the way. The population of Belgrade, after several days of bombing, was anticipating a long siege rather than an attack, and the lax security that Klingenberg encountered played directly into his hands.
Upon entering the outskirts of the city, the Germans became involved in a two-hour running firefight. They finally drove their captured vehicles into the city with many wounded prisoners aboard, including the hapless tourist. Miraculously, none of the SS men were wounded in the fight. They ended up in the city center, all alone and surrounded by a wide-eyed, bewildered population. The only SS casualty in Belgrade thus far was a private who had fallen and sprained his wrist.The Germans were amazed to find that no one attacked them in the city. The civilians went about their daily business as if nothing had happened. Klingenberg ordered Sergeant Hans Hossfelder to raise the German colors, replacing the Yugoslavian national flag with the German ensign shortly after 5 p.m. on April 12. Under Klingenberg’s orders, his men began to strut about the city on patrol, giving the inhabitants the unmistakable impression that they were in charge.
>>30488694
The mayor of Belgrade came up to the Germans, complete with his entourage of city officials and in proper ceremonial dress. After asking what was going on, he inquired about the terms of surrender. Klingenberg told the mayor that his was the point team of several SS tank divisions, and if he did not check in with his unit by radio with the information requested, the Luftwaffe would continue their attempts to level the city. He also said that the air attacks would be followed by an artillery barrage and armored and infantry attacks that would spare no one.
The other Germans looked at their leader as if he was mad. Their radio was damaged and could not transmit, only receive; their unit was a considerable distance away; and they were out of ammunition and food. Sergeant Hossfelder later told his captain that he was in the wrong business, adding that the Propaganda Ministry could surely find a use for him.
The mayor fell for the ruse, and after an hour-long conversation with Klingenberg, he began the necessary arrangements for the surrender of the city. Then, as if on cue, a group of German aircraft flew over the city on a reconnaissance mission, and Klingenberg took advantage of the moment. He looked up, pointing to the sky, and reminded the mayor that the clock was ticking. Klingenberg gave his word that if all instructions were followed, no further harm would befall the city or its inhabitants. The city officials seemed relieved to hear that.
>>30488703
The soldiers and city militia agreed to lay down their arms in exchange for the Germans’ ceasing additional attacks. The Yugoslav army stacked its arms in the city square, and Klingenberg had all of the men register with the mayor. Klingenberg then ordered the prisoners to quarter themselves in four of the largest hotels and posted a German guard to each building. The handful of Germans had just captured more than 1,300 troops and a city with a population of over 200,000 without firing a single shot. The city had suffered considerable damage, but not enough to prevent the locals from continuing with life and business as usual. Yugaslav soldiers outside the city, unaware of what had happened to their capital, drove into Belgrade only to be ordered by their superiors to lay down their arms, abandon their vehicles and march to the hotels. All the Yugoslavians complied without hesitation.
Klingenberg and his men made themselves comfortable in the city’s finest hotel, making fake radio transmissions to reinforce the charade. They stockpiled bottles of wine and weapons, and two of the men disappeared with a couple of local women. Meanwhile, Klingenberg consolidated his position, knowing that things could still go wrong. If the main force did not arrive soon, the game was up. He had his men recruit locals to help procure every map, police record and tax record in the city.
The chief of police was ordered to provide a list of all criminals in the city, stating their crimes, age and other pertinent information. Women with nursing skills were to report for duty immediately, and all doctors were called in as well. Every liter of gasoline was accounted for, and oil, medical supplies and other necessities were placed in special holding facilities. The hospital was to be neutral ground, and all health care was to be maintained as a gesture of good will. Klingenberg even ordered the schools to remain open and placed no restrictions on daily business.
>>30488469
Yeah. In this thread
.>>30488015
>>30488716
He did, however, place an 8 p.m. curfew on the city; only citizens with a pass signed by him could legally venture outside their homes after that time.
The next day, April 13, more of Klingenberg’s men who had remained on the opposite side of the river followed their leader into the city. Seeing the German flag, they believed that the main force had somehow bypassed them. They were amazed to find the ‘lost’ men in command of the primary objective, with the locals not hostile but actually accommodating. Hossfelder told the new arrivals what had transpired and warned them to play along. They flexed their military muscle by commandeering every vehicle they could find.
Finally, on the night of April 13, the forward elements of Das Reich entered the city expecting a heavy fight. They had disregarded radio transmissions they had received telling of the city’s surrender, believing it was an enemy hoax, possibly an attempt to lure German units into an ambush. Rumor had it that Klingenberg and his men had been captured, tortured and forced to release the codes required for proper radio communications. The XLV Corps commander was so furious at not having received his intelligence summary that he had threatened to have Klingenberg court-martialed if he were found alive as a prisoner. The first place he inquired for Klingenberg was at a brothel, figuring that he would find the renegade captain there. The corps commander’s fury soon subsided when he learned why his junior company commander had been negligent in his duties.
The rest of Das Reich and supplemental army Panzergrenadierunits entered Belgrade in force the following day, and instead of fighting their way into the city, they were greeted with wine and cheese. The Yugoslav prisoners were conscripted to reinforce the German defense in case of partisan attacks. Sadly, when the mayor realized that he had been duped, he shot himself.
>>30488422
Those singers weren't usable by that time.
>>30488726
On April 17, Josip Broz, better known as Tito, the trade unionist and leader of the ‘illegal’ Communist Party, acknowledged defeat in Yugoslavia and surrendered the country in name only. He fled into the mountains with his partisans, where, supported by the British, he waged a four-year guerrilla campaign against his country’s invaders. He would later become president of a Communist Yugoslavia, which nevertheless rejected association with the Soviet-dominated Warsaw Pact.Klingenberg persuaded the garrison commander to relinquish his maps and divulge the location of his minefields and gun emplacements, as well as the nearby anti-aircraft emplacements and adjacent auxiliary airstrip. Markers were placed that could be clearly seen from the air, and German transports were able to land, bringing food, ammunition and war correspondents. Klingenberg even had some of the prisoners repair the damaged runways and confiscated several obsolete aircraft.
>>30488744
German Intelligence had projected before Belgrade surrendered that Yugoslav army casualties would number approximately 10,000 to 15,000 wounded and 2,000 dead after massive Luftwaffe and artillery bombardment and a subsequent fight to enter the city. Civilian casualties were predicted to be 10 times those figures. Klingenberg was concerned for the welfare of his men, yet he was also worried about the fate of the civilians. He did not see the need for further bloodshed in the city, and his men were actually treated well by the civilians, who knew that they could have suffered a much worse fate.At first, the German high command did not believe that the city had been taken. There was even word that Klingenberg would be shot for trying to fake such an exploit. Two days of radio transmissions were needed to convince Berlin that all was well. Lieutenant General Paul Hausser was ordered to inspect for himself.
When Klingenberg reported to his superiors to explain why he had not followed orders, he was drunk, unshaven and smelled of perfume. After several minutes, Klingenberg said, ‘What was I to do, give the city back?’ His indiscretions were overlooked, and the German battle plan, now obsolete, was stamped ‘completed.’ The drive into Greece was now ahead of schedule. The cost of the entire Yugoslavian campaign to Germany was 558 wounded and 151 killed, with less than a dozen aircraft lost. More than 340,000 Yugoslavs were captured. The exact number killed will never be known.
>>30487517
The ending to WWII was something out of an anime.
>Big bad kills himself and we get a Gainax ending
>Other big bad gets nuked
>I fight... on...
>Gets nuked AGAIN
>cries like a little bitch and surrenders
>>30487672
Should've nuked the Nork fucks.
>>30487517
Between this and some shit I've read about the Troubles, I'm starting to wonder why ANYBODY uses Carbombs that don't involve shot glasses.
>>30487738
SK marines are not to be fucked with at all, they're fanatical and insane
>>30488797
Suicide bombers are usually fucking retarded.
I don't remember where it happened (UK or France maybe) where some idiots tried to carbomb a hospital and all they managed to do was only to set their car on fire.
>>30488868
Didn't some turds try to carbomb an airport in the UK only to be stop by mighty concrete posts or something? All I remember is one tabloid headline that said "I kicked burning terrorist so hard in the balls I dislocated my foot!"
>>30488469
>>30488015
Never actually happened
>>30488503
I thought soviet deserters were executed if caught
>>30488904
Yes that happened.
>>30488919
It would be more likely they would be sent to a Penal Battalion, or perhaps Folkersam offered them clemency to butter them up.
>>30487517
Erwin Rommel describes the following event in his book "Infantry Attacks".
While he was a Lieutenant in WWI he was riding down road with his adjutant, scouting the area when he encountered about 30 Italians standing at the side of the road. Knowing he would be shot before he could aim his weapon or turn his horse around he rode up to them, politely wished them a good morning and informed that they were now POWs and should go over to the village where Rommel's men were waiting with more POWs and surrender their weapons there. The Italians did as they were told and went into captivity.
A cavalry officer who regularly wore both a sword and a monocle, Saucken personified the archetypal aristocratic Prussian conservative who despised the brown mob of Nazis. When he was ordered to take command of the Second Army on 12 March 1945, he came to Hitler's headquarters with his left hand resting casually on his cavalry sabre, his monocle in his eye, saluted and gave a slight bow. This was three 'outrages' at once. He had not given the Nazi salute with raised arm and the words 'Heil Hitler', as had been regulation since 20 July 1944, he had not surrendered his weapon on entering....and had kept his monocle in his eye when saluting Hitler.
When Hitler told him that he must take his orders from Albert Forster, the Gauleiter (Nazi governor, or "District Leader") of Danzig, Saucken returned Hitler's gaze....and striking the marble slab of the map table with the flat of his hand, he said, 'I have no intention, Herr Hitler, of placing myself under the orders of a Gauleiter'. In doing this he had bluntly contradicted Hitler and not addressed him as Mein Führer.
To the surprise of everyone who was present, Hitler capitulated and replied, "All right, Saucken, keep the command yourself." Hitler dismissed the General without shaking his hand and Saucken left the room with only the merest hint of a bow.
>>30488469
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes
There was a naval engagement during the 1453 siege of Constantinople. The entire Ottoman navy versus 4 Italian ships. The Italians were becalmed for hours while being surrounded and attacked by the Ottomans. When the wind picked up again the 4 Italian ships sailed off to safety. The sultan met his admiral on the shore and attempted to beat him to death for his failure.
Just the whole start to World War I is pretty fucking comical. Assassin group fails too many times to kill Franz Ferdinand, eventually they give up but someone doesn't catch the memo and kills him. Countries get pissed off and kill each other over it.
>>30487672
Damn
>>30489110
Let's not forget the irony of killing the wrongest guy possible.
(Austria pretty much wanted to wipe Serbia off the map, Franz being the only one opposing a war and having enough say to prevent one)
Also von Hötzendorf making every possible excuse to start a war for personal glory and then after getting it failing so hard, he admitted that he should be shot for incompetence.
>Russians besiege a fortress with 10,000 men trapped inside
>cause 180,000 Austrian casualties trying to liberate it
In 1779 George Washington ordered General John Sullivan to lead a campaign against the British and Iroquois forces murdering and raiding their way around the Eastern U.S.
On August 29th Continental forces met with the numerically smaller British/Iroquois force near what is now Elmira, NY. The British/Iroquois held the high ground and had prepared camouflaged earthworks in a horseshoe shape overlooking the road. The Continental plan was to perform a pincer attack signaled by their ten field pieces firing on the center of the fortifications.
What actually happened was that the application of artillery broke enemy morale and sent them into a panicked retreat. So panicked in fact that the entire Iroquois Confederacy fled all the way to Fort Niagara taking nothing save what they could carry in their own two hands, where thousands of them would starve and freeze over the winter. Sullivan's forces followed after and burned their fields, slaughtered their livestock, and razed their towns without opposition.
And that's how Murika won the Eastern Theater of the Revolution and destroyed the strongest native power east of the Mississippi with a single volley.
>>30487517
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Cow
>>30489024
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/apocryphal
>>30489218
Sauce?
>>30489547
Got the numbers wrong, sorry.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Przemy%C5%9Bl
>>30488503
lmao
>>30488716
>and two of the men disappeared with a couple of local women.
kek, nothing like some midwar, deep in enemy territory with no backup poontang breaks
>>30488726
>Sadly, when the mayor realized that he had been duped, he shot himself.
10/10 story, real life has the best stories some times
>>30488919
Lucky for them they encountered an evil nazi in disguise and not an actual communist ;^)
fourth crusade
>>30487994
>inna BMT
>CBRN day
>riding bus to gas chambers
>hear low "oy vey" come out of the trainee next to me
>Be Wilhelm Voigt
>Acquire captain's uniform
>Order some random troops to accompany me
>Occupy Kopenick
>Confiscate 4000 Deutschmarks
>Order the troops to stand guard
>Take the money and leave
>Get pardoned by the Kaiser for being an amiable scoundrel
>Rich MILF gives me a fortune
Life is good in Germany.
>>30487517
>They built two car bombs but they detonated early, killing only the drivers, because they forgot to set the timers on the bombs for daylight savings time. They won a Darwin Award for it.
I'm curious how they would have figured this one out.
I doubt the terrorists would advertise the fact they're retarded
>Albert Speer: "After the invasion of Russia someone remarked wryly to Hitler something along the lines of "Poor Ribbentrop....we have broken every treaty he has ever signed!" this had Hitler in fits of chuckles until tears ran down his face."
>>30490576
When your car bomb detonates in the garage or in transit and not at a target site it's pretty open and shut you're retarded.
>>30487832
>>30487955
The SCUDs performance record was pretty laughable
>>30490576
At the time, Israel and Palestine were in the middle of a dispute over daylight savings time. One country wanted it and one country didn't.
The Palestinians accidentally did it the Palestinian way when the clocks were doing it the Israeli way.
>>30488503
magnificent
>>30491094
Awesome, thanks. I still remember laughing my tits off the first time I read it in a pub bathroom
>>30490849
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ABU HAJAAR?
>>30488757
>tiny japan islands vs murica continent
>they fight against merica so badly merica would rather nuke civilians
>big bad gets nuked
>twice
>cries like a bitch and surrenders
>realizing no matter how hard they fight they'd loose literally everything nuke by nuke to pussy mericans that can't even fight them head on
not sure if this is bait, either way you look retarded as fuck.
>>30491376
No. Just like an anime, they were not worth to die over.
>>30491376
>Not wanting to lose 1 million or more of your troops when you could just drop a bomb
>Especially after losing so many in a long campaign over numerous islands
>"pussy"
>>30491376
>pussy
I bet you laugh at disabled people because they don't fight with their fists "like a real man" you nogunz Yuropoor fuck.
>>30491478
>>30491485
>nuke literally civilians, not even military
>yes that's perfectly acceptable
>no guns meme
okay.
>>30491550
>Hiroshima didn't have an army hq
>Nagasaki didn't have a naval base
>>30491376
>Nation of who worships their supreme leader whose troops will never surrender, kill babies, and enslaved women into rape factories
>Defeated through the use of a pair of special, never before seen prototype weapons that destroy everything with ease
It really is just like my chinese cartoons.
>>30491651
holy fuck...
you're completely right...
>>30491651
>>30488002
This is amazing. Hotblooded as all hell
>>30487517
Anything Italians have done, ever.
>>30490849
>WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ABU HAJAAR?
>>30490849
What is wrong with you, Abu Hajaar
>>30491748
You mean like Rome?
>>30490849
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ABU HAJAAR?
Winter war
>Soviets about to flank the critical Kollaa-front by skis north of lake Ladoga
>Hungry ass communists with growling tummies smell the Finnish field soup-cannon (fieldkitchen)
>Turn back to their own lines to try and get some food
Finland forever grateful to their field-chefs
How about the time when China attacked India?
>India is under attack
>oh shit, the chinks are attacking us, we better spend our money on defense
>alright China, we're armed and ready, do your worst
>"It's okay, I give up"
>what
>"Sorry to make you waste your money like that, I'll leave now"
The reason why damn-near everything is made in China is because they made India spend their money on defense, rather than industry.
>>30491731
It really is. You are now aware that for all the talk about cheese eating surrender monkeys the French are the party whose political and military's highest leaders had Nazi kill counts.
Anyone have that one story from ancient China where the army retreated when they saw the enemy general playing an instrument alone in front of an empty fort because they thought it was a trick?
>>30488002
>Tennis star
Why was he there
>>30490849
Abu Hajaar did nothing wrong that his retard compatriots weren't also doing
>>30492505
POW
He was a celebrity so he got stuck in there with them
>>30490849
what is wromg with you, abu hajaar?
>>30492812
He was free French or resistance wasn't he
>>30488002
That shit is just made to be a movie, right down to the heroic Wehrmacht deserter officer dying to protect the people minister of France.
It's like WWII fanfic but real
>>30493267
Prime*
Fuck phones
>>30487517
I forgot most of it but during one of Israel's wars with Egypt an Israeli spy convinced the government to put non native trees next to their Artillery and coms outposts so that their men would have shade and the Israelis used it to mark where to bomb
>>30493204
Nope just a guy who played tennis
Hitler thought he would be a good bargaining chip
>>30487675
>The US's biggest FUCK YOU to the DPRK since the Korean War
>>30487517
>a decisive emu victory
>>30488015
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes
Wow, i remember when this was a normal, fully fledged wikipedia article.
Now with all the revisionism going on, its "apocryphal" and its not more a normal battle page.
Man only because christians ridiculed themselves against muslims we dont have to hide our whole history, what a shame
>>30488030
No
The kurds promply used the at weaponry to knock out turkish mraps and military vehicles
Turkey is our nato ally
sometimes you just cant get things right in this world
>>30487738
Never been prouder to be part South Korean
>>30493395
It was one of the wars with Syria but yeah thats one of the most brilliant pieces of espionage ever, I actually visited one of those bunkers in the Golan Heights
>>30493395
It was Eli Cohen he was Egyptian but spied on Syria and it was during the Six Day War
>>30494373
>Eli
>Cohen
>he was Egyptian
lel
>>30494300
>Kurds killing Turks
>>30494405
>Born in Alexandria
>>30492505
He became a government official.
>>30491788
That's not a kek, that's impressive. True /k/omrades
>>30488998
Badass. german elite prussian.
>>30487517
Not trying to be a dick but if that's from 1000 ways to die I hope you know that none of those were real except for the near death experience ones in the earlier season. if a bomb is on a timer day light savings doesn't affect it. Unless they set the bomb at like 3 in the morning but that wouldn't work.
>>30487672
Should've just bombed them.
>>30493267
It won't be made a movie because it shows Germans doing good and isn't about the poor Jewish struggle.
>>30490871
>all the soup
the horror.
>>30492505
gave good spankings.
>>30487517
we just gonna forget about that time Australia lost a war against emus?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War
>>30495929
They're currently at war against Carp fish. I shit you not. Aussies get unbelievably butthurt at non-sapient creatures.
>>30491550
Civilians were never bombed in WW2 ever guise! Evil 'murica, get it? I said 'murica!!XDXD
>>30496197
Nigga, we're getting cucked by a fucking Jap plant and like three different species of aquatic life.
>>30496197
So is the US. The local Wildlife and Fisheries post signs that actively encourage us to kill Asian Carp on sight. Hell, you don't even need a license if you only plan on fishing for them.
How's the century long war against Foxes going?
>>30496256
meant for >>30496207
>>30490335
When was this? I did this on my trip to the chamber, but I'm sure it's kinda a common thing
"On the morning of September 24, 1941, Christen and his anti-tank battery were engaging Russian targets north of the village of Lushno (Luzhno). In an initial engagement, Soviet skirmishers killed all of the other men of the battery. While exposed to artillery and small arms fire, Christen manned his 50mm cannon alone, holding on without supplies or provisions for the next three days. When a counterattack by other Totenkopf troops recaptured Lushno, Christen was credited with having knocked out 13 Soviet tanks and killing nearly 100 enemy soldiers singlehandedly. The soldiers that greeted him were baffled that a single artilleryman could hold his position against hundreds of Soviet troops and a formidable armor presence."
Truly the most operator man to ever live.
>>30488422
The weapons given to the fighters in Afghanistan were used against the taliban during the civil war.
>>30491651
They used "THAT!"
>>30490849
What is wrong with you, Abu Hajaar?
>>30491376
T. Nip
>>30487529
this
>tfw you will never operate with claymores strapped to your chest
>>30487695
killed a guy with the longbow too
>be the first and last soldier to die from an arrow from a longbow in ww2
>>30488294
Great leader, not dear leader.
>>30488422
The stingers weren't viable after more than a decade.
And changes in tactics completely invalidated the Stinger within six months - it got to the point that they basically stopped firing Stingers because it wasn't worth exposing yourself to CAS to do it.
>>30487529
>US want to cut down tree
>US soldiers sent to cut down tree, cut down by norks
>US enters area in force
>cuts down tree
Seems like everyone lost, especially mother nature ;_;
>>30487994
> Beliving le holoklaus maymay
Good goy.
>>30493267
> deserter
> heroic
What the fuck?
>>30497898
/pol/ you've left your containment board
>>30488002
>cuckovic
>>30498250
top cuck
>>30491376
Would you have preferred America going into Japan and being forced to slaughter their DO NUH DISHONAH FAMIRY battalions of teenagers and old men?
They fucked Japan up in the island-hopping campaign. It was either nuke them or kill a LOT more people.
>>30491550
And the British firebombed Rome and nearly burned down the Vatican despite Italy intentionally pulling all military assets out just so they wouldn't.
Your point?
>>30494408
THIS. THIS. THIS. fuck the turks
>>30497903
He's actually more of a defector, and I believe an Austrian. He and his men were working with the resistance and sided with the Americans to fight against the SS and protect high level French prisoners.
There was a legit deserter from the SS on the Allied side too. He got shoved into command of the castle by the French and took their side when the SS came to kill everyone.
>>30499278
>And the British firebombed Rome and nearly burned down the Vatican despite Italy intentionally pulling all military assets out just so they wouldn't.
Protestants, not even once.
>>30499373
The US military actively told them "Fuck no, mang, stop that shit" because they didn't want the Brits pissing off their Catholic serviceman. Brits did it anyway because they were mad as fuck.
>>30487517
Maginot line
I thought the battle of Tannenberg was hilarious
>Germans facing Russian invasion and they're outnumbered
>Despite having the numbers, Russian commanders suck and it's a logistical nightmare to get into Prussia
>Russians don't have enough codebooks so they just use the old code they know the Germans have cracked
>Germans figure out the position of the two armies, know that the two Russian generals hate each other so much that they got into a fist fight and would never help each other out
>Lead army into a trap, BTFO it so bad that one of the Russians commit suicide out of embarrassment
>>30487695
Mad Jack Churchill. He was a nutter, but in a good way.
>In retirement his eccentricity continued. He startled train conductors and passengers by throwing his briefcase out of the train window each day on the ride home. He later explained that he was tossing his case into his own back garden so he would not have to carry it from the station.
top fucking kek
>>30488002
holy hell, it's a sin that they haven't made a decent movie out of this
>>30490551
critically underrated post, literally legendary. Sounds like something out of "The Good Soldier Švejk"
Joe Medicine Crow was pretty cool.
Without even trying to, he managed to complete all four tasks required to become a war chief during World War 2: Touching an enemy without killing him, taking an enemy's weapon, leading a successful war party, and stealing an enemy's horse.
The first day of Operation Barbarossa was pretty hilarious.
Stalin didn't even believe Germany was actually invading and didn't issue the order to resist until four hours after it began.
The Lolocaust was just the Germans getting rid of the competition for the title of world's most deceptive race.
>>30490849
What's wrong with you, Abu Hajaar
>>30490849
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ABU HAJAAR?
bump for interest
Real funny shit in this thread
There was that time when the trigger happy RAF attacked the Cap Arcona, SS Deutschland and Thielbek, thinking that senior Nazis were fleeing. It turned out the ships were packed with Concentration camp inmates. 10,000 died, 5000 on the Cap Arcona alone.
Ironically The Cap Arcona was requisitioned by Joseph Goebbels for his masterpiece condemnation of British speculative capitalism Titanic film.
>>30491376
fuck off weeb
>Budapest is rioting, the Hungarians want to turn on the Germans and join the Soviets
>Hitler summons Horthy to a meeting
>Waffen-SS Regular forces have been sent to put the rebellion down Warsaw style
>Ernst Kaltenbrunner calls up his buddy Otto fucking Skorzeny.
>Otto Skorzeny and Adrian von Folkersam >>30488503 this guy, takes 100 men, 5 Tiger II's, and they ride headfirst into the revolution
>They storm the Horthy castle
>They pacify the guards
>Skorzeny storms up the stairs with Folkersam behind him.
>Kicks in Mikos Horthy jr's door
>They both taunt the Hungarian and Skorzeny proceeds to beat ever loving fuck out of him with his fists.
>Horthy is K.O
>Skorzeny rolls him up in a Carpet and carries him out to the trucks and Tigers, Folkersam calls Kaltenbrunner
>The Hungarian Coup is over, Horthy and Hungary stays with the Axis until the very end of the war
Picture related, Skorzeny and Folkersam strolling through Budapest now firmly back in Axis hands.
>>30506832
I didn't want to feel
>>30491376
>should have faced japan in GLORIOUS HONORABLE BATTLE
war has never, ever been fair.
Oh Canada... It's always hockey and failed predictions with us.
>>30499408
Who killed more through firebombing, UK or US?
>>30490849
>WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ABU HAJAAR?
>>30487529
But the whole incident is literally the American mindset
>>30491550
>>nuke literally civilians, not even military
Wake the fuck up, kid.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civilian_casualty_ratio
>>30508169
UK loved to use explosives, the US loved to firebomb.
>>30508169
They worked together so you kind of have to consider the numbers as intermingling a lot.
But they killed a lot.
>"Hahaha stupid British. I got to Rome first! ... So what if I let the entire 10th Army escape unscathed just to capture an Open city."
>>30508341
To be fair, the British were going to royally fuck Rome up, and the US felt bad still that they couldn't stop Britain from bombing it despite it being open.
>>30487517
That time Ulysses S Grant, Robert E. Lee, and Stonewall Jackson were fighting Mexicans together and Grant hauled a fucking cannon up a bell tower in battle because he wanted a better position to fire it from.
Battle of Chapultapec, got on that wiki son.
This madman real life German Oddball (Kelly's Heroes) caught sight of an Einsatzgruppen officer mistreating Soviet PoW's. He jumped out of his panzer and proceeded to beat the living hell out of him.
The SS wanted to file charges, but when you're fucking Kurt Knipsel, Panzer Ace, you tend to get away with these sorts of things when you have 150+ kills to your name.
>>30487680
Kekked
>>30496931
Jesus. Thats badass.
>On 18 July 1944, during a strategy conference in the Wolfsschanze, a fly began buzzing around the room, allegedly landing on Hitler's shoulder and on the surface of a map several times. Irritated, Hitler ordered Darges to dispatch the nuisance. Darges suggested that, as it was an airborne pest, the job should go to the Luftwaffe adjutant, Nicolaus von Below. Hitler took Darges aside, dismissed him on the spot and had him transferred to the Eastern Front.
>>30490849
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ABU HAJAAR?
>>30500989
>As the Pacific War was still on, Churchill was sent to Burma, where some of the largest land battles against Japan were being fought. By the time Churchill reached India, Hiroshima and Nagasaki had been bombed and the war ended. Churchill was said to be unhappy with the sudden end of the war, saying: "If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!"
kek
>>30508520
>1944, during a strategy conference in the Wolfsschanze, a fly began buzzing around the room, allegedly landing on Hitler's shoulder and on the surface of a map several times. Irritated, Hitler ordered Darges to dispatch the nuisance. Darges suggested that, as it was an airborne pest, the job should go to the Luftwaffe adjutant, Nicolaus von Below. Hitler took Darges aside, dismissed him on the spot and had him transferred to the Eastern Front.
Thats what Burgers belive. Why went Wünsche to the eastern front? Because he and the Führer shared birthday and Hitler was pissed about not having this day only for him?
They all went to the front for fighting bolsevisem, medalls and fame.
>>30508567
It's a documented story and regardless, he got his medals and fame.
>In August 1944 Darges returned to the SS Wiking to replace Johannes Mühlenkamp as the commander of the 5th SS Panzer Regiment. It was in command of this unit that Darges was awarded the Knight's Cross for his actions on the night of 4 January 1945. The division was advancing towards Bicske when it was stopped by the 41st Guards Rifle Division of the Soviet 4th Guards Army. Darges initially probed the Soviet line with a mixed Panzer and Panzer Grenadier Kampfgruppe and succeeded in breaking through the line at dawn. Subsequently he ambushed and destroyed a Soviet task force, knocking out four 122mm guns, four 76mm anti-tank guns, twelve trucks and a number of supply vehicles. He then attacked Regis Castle, forcing the garrison to retreat. Darges then found himself surrounded by Soviet reinforcements and was forced to repel several attacks. Three days later when they were relieved by another Kampfgruppe from SS Wiking, they left behind more than thirty destroyed Soviet tanks
>>30508585
There are two more versions of this "documented" story.
> Another version of this story claims Darges was merely snickering as Hitler looked up from the map.[7] Yet another version of Darges' dismissal and transfer by Hitler involves his refusal to marry Eva Braun's sister Gretl Braun, who was pregnant at the time.
Face it, a lot of Nazis love to fool english or american historians with storys that never happend. Probably they laugh then about the publications on veteran meetings.
>>30508612
Gretl Braun was engaged to Hermann Fegelein at the time. The First one seems more plausible, while the second one is meant to disparage
>>30508612
and then they tell em about the holocaust, how they killed those jews with the masturbation machines
>>30491094
A truly based bong.
Paul Ogorzow, The S-Bahn Serial Killer. Pled guilty to eight murders, six attempted murders and thirty-one cases of assault. Got his ass guillotined.
The Kriminalpolizei were hampered in their investigation of the murders by obstacles:
1: Nazi Government had instituted rigorous wartime program of media censorship, in order to not to spread panic and demoralise civilians on the home front.
2: due to ongoing Allied bombing raids on the German capital, blackout conditions were necessary to shield strategically important targets from airborne scrutiny and destruction. As a side effect, however, these conditions were also conducive to criminal activity. Ogorzow himself exploited the blackout, using it to stalk and kill his victims and then to escape from possible surveillance under the cover of darkness.
3rd: Berlin rail appears to have had a poor health and safety record, which meant that the Kriminalpolizei had to contend with a surplus of cadavers resulting from both from accidental deaths on the rail line and those killed during Allied bombing raids and the resultant forensic backlog this placed on the police force and municipal medical services.
5th: the official Nazi ideology of state anti-Semitism, xenophobia and German racial superiority, discouraged investigators from considering the possibility that someone "racially German" could be responsible for such heinous crimes. Much initial suspicion wrongly settled on foreign forced-laborers (Poles) working in the numerous factories adjacent to the rail network.
Local Jews were also targeted unjustly for investigation in connection with the murders, albeit mainly for political and ideological reasons. Survivor testimony would eventually establish that the suspect was indeed German, and the actual perpetrator was revealed to be a veteran member of both the Nazi Party and SA.
----
Would make for an interesting neo-noir movie or game. Protagonist Cop working through a brutal bureaucracy to catch a murderer.
>>30508657
4th, not 5th.
>>30490849
What is wrong with you, Abu Hajaar?
>>30488503
This is some real special forces operator stuff.
>>30497768
>And changes in tactics completely invalidated the Stinger within six months - it got to the point that they basically stopped firing Stingers because it wasn't worth exposing yourself to CAS to do it.
eh source? Would like to read more about it.
>>30488503
Germans probably had the most underrated Special Forces in the war. Everyone remembers how brute force they were, and they were, but they could pull off some real feats.
>>30508690
https://www.foreignaffairs.com/articles/afghanistan/2002-01-01/stinging-rebukes
http://www.worldaffairsjournal.org/article/afghan-ghosts-american-myths
>>30488503
>real life RPG PCs
>>30495929
To be fair emus are bloodthirsty monsters with no regard for their own lives.
>>30508724
Like what
>>30490871
you ever get tired of posting that same pic ovrer and over again?
The military career of L Ron Hubbard.in the US Navy during WW2. He was twice declared unfit for command and created an international incident by shelling Mexico. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_career_of_L._Ron_Hubbard
>>30508828
Like the SS-Jagdverband Ost and Mitte.
Late in the war they would frequently sneak behind Soviet lines, steal their tanks and guns, use them to blast up the Soviets until they were incapacitated, then sneak back across the lines
>>30508955
The Brandenburgers, which was formed by Thomas von Hippel, who served under and learned a shitload from none other then Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck
>>30499278
>And the British firebombed Rome and nearly burned down the Vatican despite Italy intentionally pulling all military assets out just so they wouldn't.
Bomber command policy in WW2 was basically; "Talk shit, get hit".
Spaghetti frogmen were pretty based.
When ancient Rome seemed defeated,
arose the invincible Tenth Legion;
On the field she defeated the barbarous enemy,
Rome regained peace with honor;
when, [in] the ignoble September Eight,
the traitor abandoned the Motherland,
arose from the sea the Tenth Flotilla
who took up arms with the cry "for the honor".
Our [glorious] Tenth Fleet,
that humiliated England,
victorious at Alexandria,
Malta, Souda and Gibraltar;
already victorious over the sea,
now as well on earth,
you will win!
[For] Ships of Italy that were wiped away,
not in battle but by treachery,
our fellows prisoners or dead,
we make this pledge for you:
We swear that we will return later
where God wanted the Tricolour;
We swear that we will fight,
till we'll have peace with honor.
Our [glorious] tenth Flotilla,
that humiliated England,
victorious at Alexandria,
Malta, Algiers and Gibraltar;
already victorious over the sea,
now as well on earth,
you will win!
>>30492453
Chuko Liang
http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=P_zMW3EHnTEC&pg=PA38&lpg=PA38&dq=%22endless+phalanx+of+soldiers%22&source=bl&ots=hdgpmsHSXi&sig=ne5vJ12oeRmYBzkiQS6ckgwagVs&hl=en&sa=X&ei=OL1WVLiMAqON7AbkjYDgCg&redir_esc=y
>>30488952
>Italians
Like that's supposed to be impressive or something?
>>30495433
Terrorists use the alarms on those cheap casio f91w watches. If you needed to bomb somewhere at 3 but you forgot about daylight savings, then the alarm would go off when the watch hits 3, but it would be an hour off
>>30506832
Oy vey but those ebil nadsis were trying to exterminate the chosen people, why would they evacuate them?
>>30508828
Like Eben-Emael.
>>30488294
same here, what the fuck
you better expect to get bludgeoned to death when cutting down best tree
>>30508612
like the lolocaust ?
>jump on top of a Russian tank
>knock on the hatch with a handgrenade and shout "open up, death's knocking!" in finnish
>they actually did
>supplies running low
>haven't eaten in a week
>another fellow locates a russian corpse with a suitably bulging belly
>cuts him up and starts feasting on the pea-soup straight from the stomach
>Schadewitz retrieves his messkit and waits for the other guy to finish eating, before informing him that the corpse has been laying there for quite a while, since there's maggots crawling in it's eyes
>the other guy instantly vomits, but Schadewitz catches it in his messkit
>"thanks for the warm meal!"
>>30510449
I'm going to pretend that the last part didn't happen and there isn't a doujin depicting exactly that
>>30489377
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Cow
>The bailiff's men mistakenly executed the peasant anyway
jesus christ, I laughed way too hard at this
>>30491376
They were defeated handily thought the campaign with tremendous loss of life because "muh honor", and when it came time to drive it home and the projected casualties would have dwarfed what we had been seeing up to that point, I think it was a reasonable decision.
In fact, it's the nature of the atomic bomb was a big part of why they decided to surrender. The emporer mentioned specifically that it's not something they can fight. The big stand up fight to the finish they had been preparing for just got turned into a meat grinder where city after city gets demolished without a single shot fired or enemy killed. There would be no glorious end to the empire, only fiery death
>>30487994
Lol would be if it was true.
>>30494300
Turkey is NATO when it suits them. I think "ally" is too strong of a word, and they get go fuck right off
>>30487680
>dimitri there is of snake on cannon
>.....blyat
>>30488503
>rolling a 1 on perception check
>>30494063
>>30491550
They were warned weeks beforehand.
>>30510585
Can I have sauce on that doujin for research?
>>30508486
>Rhodesia will never exist in your life time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6FkxiInae8
>>30487517
Trojan Horse.
>>30488503
CREEEEEEEEEED!
>>30489304
>>30511913
at least not until /k/ gets its shit together and conquers the heart of the DRC
>/k/ special forces "NRO" nignogger removal operators
>>30496931
Totally-based individual.
>>30488503
This is some Art of War shit
>>30507053
>they literality bullied a man and by extension a nation into defeat with school yard tactics
If wedgies and swirlys were a thing back then they totally would have done it.
>>30514418
let's start a fucking kickstarter m8
>>30490849
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ABU HAJAAR?
>Just before dawn on April 16, 1945, Russian Marshal Georgi Zhukov gave the signal to attack. More than 20,000 field guns, mortars, and Katyushkas- multiple rocket launchers- began firing on German positions west of Kustrin on the Oder River. People in Berlin, forty miles away, heard the barrage, and many of the gunners began to bleed from the ears so great was the noise. The greatest artillery onslaught of the war lasted for more than half an hour, and Zhukov believed no army on earth could withstand such fire.
>And he would have been correct, except it all fell on empty lines. General-Oberst Gotthard Heinrici had pulled his troops back hours before to let the Russians blast unoccupied ground. Now, when three Russian armies moved forward in a huge mass of 750,00 men and 1800 tanks, the Germans stopped them in their tracks.
>If the Russians had known who faced them, they wouldn’t have been surprised by this defensive tactic, for Heinrici had been doing similar things to them for more than three years.
>>30515230
Heinrici had built his reputation as a brilliant defensive fighter during the disastrous winter of 1941-42. He was placed in command of the 4th Army at the gates of Moscow, when the Soviets threw a hundred divisions at his freezing and ill-clad troops. He held out for almost ten weeks using every method available to him. Goading, exhorting, promoting, and tactfully retreating, he kept his army intact in the face of 12-l odds. It was here, that Heinrici developed the technique that served him so well in the defense of Berlin. From intelligence reports, patrols, interrogation of prisoners, and an extraordinary sixth sense, he was able to pinpoint the time and place of impending Russian attacks. He’d order his troops to retreat the night before to new positions one or two miles back. ‘We let them hit an empty bag,” he said.
In fighting on the long retreat from Stalingrad, his soldiers held their ground well, knowing that Heinrici would never throw their lives away needlessly. He contested every mile, every step, and then would withdraw to safer ground when a situation became hopeless. A staff officer said of him, ‘Heinrici retreats only when the air is turned to lead…and then only with determination.”
The retreat was interrupted at Smolensk in 1943. He was accused by Reich Marshal Goering of failing to carry out the Fuhrer’s scorched-earth policy. He narrowly escaped court martial, but was instead declared in ill health, and dispatched to a nursing home in Karlsbad, Czechoslovakia.
The incident with Goering was not unexpected, as Heinrici never got along with the toadies and lackeys that made up much of Hitler’s inner circle. After listening to on interminable discussion in the Fuhrerbunker that involved phantom divisions and panzer armies which no longer existed, Heinrici called it ‘Cloud Cuckoo-land.’
>>30515257
He was the sort of soldier that Hitler intensely disliked, having come from a family of military aristocrats—a class Hitler despised and blamed for leading Germany to defeat in World War I. Heinrici had spend forty of his fifty-eight years in the army, serving with solid professionalism, but in almost impenetrable obscurity. There had been no dashing blitzkrieg attacks, no full-page layouts in Das Signal, the Nazi magazine devoted to military triumphs.
And, worst of all, Heinrici had no time for, nor interest in, the spit and polish, the black boots, and baton-pounding posturing so common to the German general officers.
In fact, those meeting him for the first time would never suspect he was a general. Short, slightly built, with fair hair and a neat mustache, Heinrici seemed at first glance a schoolmaster, and a rather shabby one at that. He wore his uniforms until they were threadbare, and refused to part with a ratty sheepskin coat he wore for the duration of the war.
But if he didn’t look the part of a general, he acted like one. He was every inch the soldier, and his troops called him affectionately ‘unser Giftzwerg—our tough little bastard.’
>>30515273
>When the Russians opened their winter offensive in 1943, it was Heinrici’s 4th Army which bore the brunt of it, holding a hundred mile front between Orsha and Rogachev, with only ten depleted divisions. The Russians delivered five offensives against him between October and December, each lasting five or six days, with several renewed efforts each day.
>They deployed some twenty divisions in the first offensive, when the Germans had just occupied a hastily-prepared position consisting of a single trench line. They employed thirty divisions in the next offensive, and the subsequent attacks were made with some thirty-six divisions.
The main weight of the Russian assault was concentrated on a front of a dozen miles astride the Moscow-Minsk highway. Heinrici used three-and-a-half divisions on this very narrow front, leaving six-and-a-half to cover the remainder of his extensive line. He thus had a dense ratio of force versus space at the vital point.
>Heinrici was well aware of the Russian tendency to mass troops and armor at a central point, and then try to simply overwhelm the defenders. His artillery was almost intact, and he concentrated 380 guns to cover the crucial sector. Controlled by a single artillery commander at 4th Army headquarters, he was able to concentrate his fire at any threatened point of the sector.
At the same time, Heinrici made a practice of ‘milking’ the divisions on the quiet part of his front in order to provide one fresh battalion daily during the battle, for each of the divisions that were heavily engaged. This usually balanced the previous day’s loss, while giving the division concerned an intact local reserve that it could use for counterattack.
>The drawbacks of mixing formations were diminished by a system of rotation within each division— which now consisted of three regiments, each of two battalions.
>>30515294
>For the second day of battle, the re-enforcing battalion would be the sister of the one that was brought in the day before. After two more days, a second completely new regiment would be in the lines; and on the sixth day, the original division would have been relieved altogether, and gone to hold a quiet sector recently vacated by the replacement units.
>The repeated successes of this defensive maneuver against overwhelming odds were a remarkable achievement. They indicated how the war might have been drawn out, and the Russians’ strength exhausted if the defensive strategy had matched the tactics. But this prospect was wrecked by Hitler’s insistence that no withdrawal be made without his permission, and an accompanying reluctance to give such permission. With parrot-like repetition, the Supreme Command recited ‘every man must fight where he stands.’ Commanders who used their discretion were subject to court martial, even in cases where it was only a matter of withdrawing a small detachment from an isolated position.
>Thus, Heinrici could count himself lucky that he was only confined to convalescence in the Karlsbad nursing home. He knew the war was being lost, and fully expected to never wear the Wehrmacht uniform again; a prospect he found unbearably frustrating.
>>30515302
>There he languished for eight months as the Allies landed at Normandy, increased pressure in Italy; as the Russians moved every closer to the Reich, and Hitler survived the generals’ bomb plot. At last, late in the summer of 1944, he was ordered back to duty in Hungary as commander of First Panzer and Hungarian First armies. Although forced to retreat from northern Hungary, he contested the ground so tenaciously that on March 3, 1945, he was decorated with the Swords to the Oak Leaves of his Knight’s Cross—a remarkable achievement for a man so intensely disliked by Hitler.
>At about this time, Heinz Guderian, Chief of the General Staff (OKW), the architect of Germany’s panzer armies and blitzkrieg tactics of the early years, began to entreat Hitler to place Heinrici in command of Army Group Vistula, replacing Heinrich Himmler.
>That Himmler had ever been in command was in itself either shockingly naive or criminally ignorant. Himmler was one of Hitler’s closest associates, the head of the SS and the Gestapo, and considered the most powerful man in Germany next to the Fuhrer himself. A former chicken farmer, Himmler had not held military command at even a regimental level, let alone was he capable of commanding a major group of several armies.
>After the failure of the Ardennes offensive in the West, Guderian had been able to convince Hitler that the only hope for survival in the East lay in having Heinrici direct the defense there. Hitler finally agreed after Himmler resigned the position because of ‘other pressing duties.’
>It was, therefore, an evolving set of circumstances that brought Heinrici in April, 1945, to the line of defenses along the Oder and Neisse Rivers, and which would determine the fates of Berlin and the entire German nation.
>>30515310
>What he found upon taking command was chaos. He had nearly half a million men, but their quality and loyalty were in question. Mixed with regular German troops were Romanians and Hungarians. Two Waffen-SS divisions were made up of Norwegian and Dutch volunteers. There was even a formation of former Russian POW’s that he expected to desert at the first opportunity. His shortages were acute in gasoline, ammunition, food, medicine, tanks, and even in rifles. One anti-tank regiment had one projectile for each man!
>Within one week of taking command, Heinrici had bulldozed his way through these seemingly insurmountable difficulties. He cajoled and goaded his troops, growled at and praised them, to build morale and to gain time to save lives. He moved all the anti-aircraft guns out of Berlin where they were no longer effective. Though they were immobile, needing to be set in concrete, they did help to fill the gap; the Third Panzer Army alone received 600 flak guns.
>His adroit anticipation of Zhukov’s barrage and his astute movement of troops from one critical point to another served him well, as it had in the past. But he was under no illusions that the collapse of the Reich was inevitable. His only hope at the point was to prevent the wholesale loss of his armies, and to prevent a block-by-block, house-by-house battle in Berlin, which he knew would kill thousands of civilians.
>>30515321
>When his forward position on the Oder became indefensible under mounting Russian attacks, he ordered the German Third army to retreat, setting up a second line of defense. As expected this was met with an immediate and sharp reaction from the Fuhrerbunker. Field Marshal Wilhelm Keitel, one of Hitler’s primary sycophants arrived on the scene. After berating Heinrici for cowardice, Keitel ordered the Third Army not be moved to secondary positions. When Heinrici refused, Keitel removed him from command of Army Group Vistula.
>As Heinrici drove toward his headquarters at Plon, he told his driver to do so slowly. Perhaps the war would be over before they arrived.
>>30494063
>>30488753
Thanks for the history mate, sadly people might never know of these feats
>>30515912
But you do, anon
>>30514955
Now I'm just imagining a Skorzeny version of the Stelio Kontos song going on in the background.
>>30511913
Good, they were the bad guys.
>>30492004
>Romans were Italians
>>30487517
Emus beat the Australian army.
>>30508414
Didn't they find his arm in burnt out tiger a couple of years ago?
>>30491376
I just want to let you know it's "lose" not "loose" please stop spelling it like that.
