You're pulling guard duty at your shitty checkpoint when this guy comes up and slaps your ass.
What do?
>>30272548
Silently pray my skills are good enough and he whisks me away.
>>30272548
>this guy
He looks kind of phony
I'm his now.
My ass disassembles in seventeen places.
>>30272583
>>30272548
>Wake up slowly
>Watch him knocking out my fellow comrade
>Slowly lifting into the air
>wtf.jpeg
>Why am I attached to a mini hot-air balloon?
>Motor kicks on
>"OH SHII--"
>Propelled into lower atmosphere
>Slowly land in the middle of the fucking ocean on a network of oil rigs
>Dude dressed like a cowboy with revolvers and everything surrounded by guys who look like they come from 2 decades in the future wearing balaclavas and tac gear.
>Looks at me
>"The enemy sniper....stay low and crawl across the ground"
>I'm still hooked up to the device that brought me here
>Ask why I was brought here
>Cowboy looks me in the eyes for 5 whole minutes
>Just as I go to say something, cowboy says, "That's an enemy gunship. One burst from it's machinegun can tear a man in half."
>Cowboy walks away.
>whattheshit.mov
>Balaclava guys pick me up and get me fitted for gear
>I guess I'm one of them now
>Well I'm in the middle of the ocean on an oil rig loaded with commandos and a giant fucking robot so I'm not really gonna bitch
>Get sweet desk job helping the main guy send lambs and donkeys back to the oil rig
The guy who knocked me out comes around occasionally and beats the living shit out of me and my comrades, but it's cool and we thank him because he's like tactical god I guess.
>>30272687
lol
and saved
>He puts me in a chokehold and asks me where my friends are
>I don't want to admit that I have no friends
"N-no I won't tell you anything baka.."
>He tightens his grip on my neck and puts a knife to my jugular
>the feeling is pure ecstacy
"Spit it out!" He whispers loudly in my ear
>some of his sweet American saliva hits my ear and rolls down onto my cheek
>I cum
"T-t-the diamonds are h-hidden over here blyat," as I mark a point on his billion dollar palm pilot.
>He says nothing, not even a 'thank you' as a loosens his grip slightly
>I think he's going to let me go
>he then begins to thrust his entire body into mine over and over and over
>i think he's trying to knock me unconscious
>i don't want him to see my erection, so I just pretend to pass out
>he straps a parachute to me and the next thing I know, I'm on a base in the middle of the ocean while hundreds of men are just fucking eachother and doing very little work to maintain the fortress
"Quick!" A man whom I later come to know as Ocelot yells as he's deepthroating an Arab and jerking off two Central African negros while taking it in the ass by a fellow slav whom I recognize from basic, "the boss will be back any minute! Last call for orgasm, then back to your posts!"
Fast forward a half hour
>given my uniform and told to stand watch at the command center platform
>Boss descends from the helicopter and starts walking towards me, not before he dives in front of me a few times
>I think he's going to recognize me
"h-hey bo-"
>He just starts beating the shit out of me
>lights fade. I go down
>I wake up ten seconds later to boss kicking me in the nads
"Thanks B-boss," I say weakly as I struggle to get up and retrieve my weapon
>he then performs a judo - style takedown on me
>lights fade. I go down
Such is life on Outer Heaven
>>30272772
top kek
>implying any of you have skills marketable enough to be fultoned
Silently hope that my skills are high enough to not only join, but not get stuck on the security staff where I'm likely to either guard all day or fight against intruders who may or may not kill me/Fulton me.
>>30272756
going on the front page of reddit xD
Thanks Boss!
>>30272548
Step to the left, then punch him in the side of the head
>in b4 being unfair to the disabled.
Report sexual harassment to my VA/SHARP specialist
http://www.sexualassault.army.mil/Template-Policy.cfm?page=policy_restricted.cfm
>>30272548
Sigh then shoot myself
>>30272548
!------THANK YOUR SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER, SIR!
>>30272851
Underrated post.
>>30272804
Huey has a professional team of shitposters within the R&D department.
Pull out a text book and cram it to increase my r&d stat.
Wake up an hour later and cry because everyone else got fultoned but I got left lying in the dirt for being an E rank scrub
B-Boss!..Harder!
>>30272548
YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD!
>>30272548
>>30272687
>Motor kicks on
I didn't realize /k/ had an even worse idea of how the fulton operates than Kojima himself
>>30272548
>What took you so long?
>IM NUUUUCLEEEUUUHHHHHHHH
hope he fultons me
>>30272548
So how about Norman Reedus Hill Gear Solid?
>>30272548
Thank you, Boss!
>>30274444
>quad fours
Fucking checked
>>30272687
>>30272772
On my phone, someone please screenshot these.
>>30272548
Stop playing kid games, you mortally feeble banality. My ex-wife bore a kid like you once. I fed him to a bear just to see the color of his shit.
>>30275673
You gave me a good chuckle thinking of a virgin neckbeard in his mother's basement typing that up, thanks anon
>>30274066
that whole bit was displaying exactly how terrible Kojima represented the fulton system in-game.
>>30276726
>implying MGS was ever about 1:1 to reality representation of weapons and the military
>>30272609
Kek
>>30272548
Salute and say, "Thank you Boss!"
>>30272562
this
>>30274444
WITNESS 'EM
>>30272548
I pull out my flaregun and launch it into the air.
I will die. Painfully. But damnit, I will make him go out of his way and inconvenience himself for a couple minutes. Maybe, just MAYBE, he will need to hide in a bush and smoke techno-weed to undo my actions. But I will die a hero to my people. Even a Metal Gear doesn't make him hide and smoke techno-weed. I will die the weapon to surpass Metal Gear.
>>30272548
Softly whisper into his ear "you feel it too, don't you?"
>>30272548
Call this guy.
>>30272548
>asshole Big Boss
>not Venom Snake
Tell him to go fuck himself
>>30280903
>not joining Jesus and pals in trying to save the world
>>30274444
>four 4s
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH, IT'S A SHINIGAMI!!!!!!!!
>>30272548
T-thanks boss.
Salute the boss.
>>30272562
This
>>30272687
I wanna patrol the zoo
>>30274444
>>30284444
WE ARE BLESSED
>>30284444
>>30274444
Wait wait wait, what are the fucking odds of two quad 4s in one thread? Am I dying?
>>30276744
It was actually pretty good as far as video games go. Most franchises wouldn't know a radome if it was cooking their internal organs.
>>30276726
>>30276744
>>30285816
Metal Gear has always been like the movie Hackers when it comes to military tech.
Someone who made that movie clearly did a lot of research on early 90's hacking and phreaking and it shows in a lot of minor actions and background conversations. And then after getting all that research together, half of it was thrown out because reality got in the way of the cool Hollywood visual the director had in mind.
>>30285178
Nah, moot wrote in code to give quads to posts that show Kojima proper respect.
>>30274444
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcaMw4aCz4c
what did he mean by this
>>30285969
What the fuck is this.
I know they had Daryl on retainer, but after scrapping silent hill i figured they'd wait a bit before using him.
>>30272772
>billion dollar palm pilot
ok that one got me
>>30272562
This
>>30272548
>Alerted to the dushman killer we've heaed about.
>Pull my rifle
>Arms turn to lead, air feels like wet concrete
>Snake pulls his pistol like lightning
>Laser dot blind me
>Dot moves down to my balls
>Can't even scream, why is everything moving slowly except this guy?
TACTICAL TAKEDOWN
