/k/ finally gets it's shit together and takes Sealand. But alas, when the dust settles you are among the fallen.
What do you want the soldiers of /k/ to do with your body? Burial at sea? Bury you with your guns? Shoot your corpse out a cannon?
Pretty sure there's nobody on Sealand now
The owner died about three years ago
>>30223763
Use the ashes of me and my fallen /k/omrades to help carbon treat the steel that will be used to create the memorial to all of us fallen.
Put on a cross and used as a target.
It's how any real hero goes out
>>30223763
Use my corpse as munitions against against the English liberators! Be sure to paint "From /k/ with love" on my body. I preferred to be launched from a 75mm howitzer
>>30223854
fag. use my ashes in the steel to forge the weapons to avenge my death.
picture unrelated. its a lyle gun. its a firearm used specifically for lifesaving. by the u.s. lifesaving service.
sky burial or burial at sea. i gotta decompose.
for fatal MOI, i'll take a bullet or a bayonet in the femoral artery.
dying is the last thing you ever do, i want know it's happening, for a minute
>>30223763
Either make a weapon out of the carbon from my ashes (Can be mixed with the steal, or use me as gunpowder.
Burial at sea with Lovecraft themed service. Deep Ones are more plausible than sky daddy.
>>30223763
>What do you want the soldiers of /k/ to do with your body?
Be forced to eat it for sustenance. Kinda like a sky burial but with NEETs.
>>30223763
>Bury you with your guns?
Oh fuck no. My guns must live on after I die. I'm not taking anything with me.
>>30223763
Blast my ass into the voids of space. But put a bomb on my casket so I can strike from beyond the grave; I don't want some filthy Xeno fucking with my genes
I want my ashes put into the steel that forms the great /k/ fleet that will spread from sealand.
May my weapon and what salvageable equipment go onto arm an armor my brothers.
>>30223763
Cremate my body and leave my ashes to my living family. They deserve to decide what to do with my remains for their greif.
I just ask for a grave somewhere near the battle and to not be forgotten.
>>30225589
>The year is 2158
>Mankind has finally mastered space flight, and is colonizing the solar system
>A small scavenger ship salvaging scrap in the orbit of Mars finds a small cardboard box, giving off strange electric signals
>The crew pulls it aboard and to their surprise find its a burial ritual from a time a century before
>They slowly open the box, and find a freeze dried corpse with its leathery dick in its hand, a nearly tattered piece of rubber stuck up its ass, and cuddling what appears to be an aged Mosin
>Engraved in the stock is the words "SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED XENO SHITS"
>The whole ship is instantly blown to bits from the massive amount of RDX stored inside of the body
>The blown up ship is blamed on Russian colonies on Mars, who were fighting the 2nd Crimea war
>This is the catalyst that starts the 1st planetary war
>9,618,019,271 casualties in total
>Ave Nex Alea
>Yfw
>>30225676
zozzle
Cremate me
Use my ashes, along with some anon's semen, to make brownies for a meetup
Give my guns to hickok45
I wouldn't trust /k/ not to end up hurting themselves if I ask for something elaborate.
>request viking burial pre-battle
>load my body into a boat
>douse in gasoline
>leaves open gas can by feet when someone goes to light me
>lights at least two anons on fire
>>30225746
/k/ doing funeral shit would have some serious attrition rates.
>>30225799
>21-gun salute results in more deaths than the battle itself.
Maybe this is a bad idea...
>>30225799
>casualties from battle: 8 dead, 10 wounded
>casualties from funeral services: 20 dead, 40 wounded
>>30225830
>21 gun salute
>/k/'s ammunition factory was too drunk the night before, and loaded all of the rounds with straight pistol powder soaked in nitro, and soldered the bullets on because they were worried about them falling off
>After the 8 deaths, the flyover from the Airforce of the /k/ube is next
>3 Hinds crash into Sealand and claim 426 lives
>The other 4 Helis believe they're being attacked and begin straffing the platform
>In all, 720 casualties from the battle of /k/ funeral
>>30223763
>Burial at sea
>Scattering sorrows to to the heartless sea
>Not turning ashes into diamonds to take them into battle
>Not being a shining light to our brothers in arms..
>>30225607
That sounds like the opening plot to a really good sorta /k/ sorta /x/ story.
>>30225676
>/k/ creates an orbital minefield with it's half-assed caskets.
>>30223763
Sky burial. You guys get to smell me for a while.
Then burn down my bones and make my ashes into diamonds to wear into battle.
>>30226250
That's some Shaman shit right there
>>30223763
Dress me up in a miniskirt and leggings, fasten my chastity belt one last time, and take pictures of me with weapons in various suggestive and even pornographic poses. Play a slideshow of these pics every anniversary of the capture of sealand whilst getting blind drunk.
Also, post my hairy ass in GWG threads and mercilessly shitpost when any newfag points out that I am obviously male, hideous, and possibly dead (which, of course, in those pics I am.)
>>30225589
This anon gets it.
>>30225960
>>30225885
>>30226250
>>30226536
FUCK I really want to write this.
>/k takes sealand with minor losses.
>drunken night toasting with vodka, celebrating the sacrifice of the fallen
>wake up in the morning, massively hung over
>amazon prime package being delivered via drone is reported shot down to the north
> realize we drunkenly ordered a machine to compress the ashes of fallen /k/omrades into flawless diamonds.
>fast forward one month
>at formal ceremony to compress the fallen’s ashes
>mall ninja cuts himself on one of his razor sharp arm blades
>leader of the detail performing the mosin-nagant 21 gun salute warms his ‘new’ rifle up early, working the action with a 2x4 and firing until the barrel is hot to the touch
>Ivan is about to take his seat and sees an AK with a tactical black plastic rail and 3 scopes, and begins screaming at him loudly, spittle flying.
>9mm / .45 argument begins to heat up around the ashes
>THE BLOOD OF A MALL NINJA
>THE COSMOLINE OF A MOSIN
>THE SCREAMING SPIT OF IVAN
>THE HOT RAGE OF 9MM/.45 FAGGOTS
>Before the machine even turns on, the ashes glow, and the intense pressure of summer shitposting forms them into a red-tinged diamond without flaws.
>Whoever bears the blood diamond of /k/ is sacrifices their sanity to be directly connected with the sum of the knowledge of all posters.
>a military genius, absolute troll, constantly shitting himself and screaming about building an AR / stopping power/ germany winning ww2
>but between the mad ravings, he speaks the truth.
>tells of the past, the present, and the future, guides us to victory until it passes to the next disciple.
>>30226849
Sounds like the perfect comic material
>>30225589
This is the correct answer
>>30226570
I'm down for that
>>30226849
/k/'s blood diamonds confirmed as Khorne's will manifested.
>>30223763
Use my corpse as target practice, that'd be pretty funny.
>>30228680
It'd be funnier to launch it to mainland Britian
>>30223763
viking fire raft cremation.
but throw like, 200 rounds of 7.62x39 on the raft too.
make things exciting.
>>30231933
also, use my leg bones for knife handles, and may my closest friend have the knucklebones from my right hand, to do with what he or she wishes.
>>30231933
I think this is another good case of the funeral killing more people than the actual battle
>>30223763
Shoot my corpse out of a rail gun, or shoot it with a rail gun.
>>30223763
72. Make sure your death costs the enemy more than what it will cost you.
73. The only accept a battlefield grave is a pile of empty brass.
Feed me to the first diplomatic envoy we receive
>>30234580
This is fucking brilliant
