Security thread?
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You are currently reading a thread in /k/ - Weapons
Security thread. I'll get the ball rolling with the hell that was my first and last security jerb.
>Don't be me
>working in security
>guarding the set of a show that is somewhat publicly accessible
>3am rolls around
>someone is poking around on some of the leftover equipment
>he looks too homeless to be on the crew
>ask him to step away
>turns around
>is a very tall basketball american
>informs me loudly that he is trying to do cocaine
>I request that he does it somewhere else
> He informs me that his cocaine was expensive while shaking a baggie of crack rocks at me
> I inform him that I respect his life choices as long as it's not on top of the equipment
>He starts advancing on me
>mfw I weigh 135lbs
>mfw I am not allowed to carry any weapons
>he proposes the he does one hit and leaves
>I accept because $10.50/hr is not enough to risk getting shanked
>he smokes some crack and peddles away on his bike
>I suddenly realize how close I came to death
This was my second night on the job. Never again.
>>30207283
>guarding the set of a show
>not allowed to carry any weapons
so commiefornia, jew york, or chiraq?
>>30207314
Portland. Securitards just has retard-tier internal policy.
>>30207283
>working in security
>mfw I weigh 135lbs
Does not compute.
>>30207340
Was mid recovery from appendix removal. And we had no authority to actually stop anyone from stealing or breaking shit. All we could do was ask them nicely to please stop and call the police.
>>30207332
Ah, the homeless capital of the world. What's the show, Grimm?
>>30207362
Keep Portland weird...
>>30207283
I've got some stories. Way to long to write in a post. If there's ever a meet up close by, ill share them there. Also, I'm at work and I'm too lazy to do shit right now
>>30207283
Ive got a few stories, been working armed security at a casino for a few years now.
>Arresting AIDS guy
>Gay guy fights his brother
>Battle of the Bridge
>any crazy person, dozens of those
>>30207420
Let's get straight to the most interesting part : AIDS guy please
More please.
>>30207343
>All we could do was ask them nicely to please stop and call the police.
>Security
>essentially a glorified bystander
what the fuck man
>>30207437
>get a complaint from Engineering
>John was working on a TV in a room
>a guy smacked him on the ass
>lolwutok
>Manager talks to John, me and two guys knock on door
>6ft 250lbs guy, hawaiian shirt
>I just got divorced, playing for both teams you know
>Other guys are 6ft, im 5'7", so he talks to me
>wat
>starts getting angry
>slams door
>opens door
>do you know who I am?
>slams door
>I run several hotels in SF better than this landfill
>opens door
>Manager: John's pressing charges, if he opens the door again
>yesyesyesyes
>opens door
> getoverhere.jpg
>fight with him on the ground
>shouldve used two handcuffs, lolnah
>take him down to the holding room
>Im never visiting this town again
>I hope so, you fat fuck
>Cops show up, female cop, tough bitch, popular in the security department
>anything you want to declare sir?
> I have AIDS
>.........
>all four of us had rug burns, broke skin
>fuck
test came back clear, so yeah.
>>30207468
Would have scared the living shit out of me
>>30207515
Not gonna lie, I just kinda pushed the thought out of my mind, didn't really think about much before the test, completely dropped the thought after the results
>>30207283
I beat some homeless dude with a flashlight one time before he took off into the woods that lined the property I was guarding.
So that was pretty neat.
>>30207343
What?
In my country even if you're just walking by and see a crime happen you're obligated to try and stop the crime. Though calling the police counts, you're practically allowed to tackle the guy on the ground and sit on him until they arrive.
Let alone if you're working security, those guys have handcuffs and stuff.
>>30207538
What about battle of the bridge fampai?
>be securitard in europe
>work in refugee camp
>got notifies syritards with is connections are in centre
>nogunnogood.mpeg
>guy with toe chopped off because hewas snoring loudly
>apply bandage send him on his way
>guy looks at 1 of 10 women in centre
>other guy gets mad shanks him and flees
>apply bandage and send him on his way
>guy gets so depressed he chugs bottle of whiskey, smashes it on his head and eats glass shards
>laugh at poor suicide attempt, apply bandage and send him on his way
>suddenly bus stops in front of centre africunt woman steps out without shoes
>mid winter and snowy
>thisgonbegood.exe
>woman has know mental illness and basicly hijacks bus, demands driver to drive to Africa
>try not to laugh (pic related)
>put on stab jacket and gloves.
>try to pull woman from bus, but i smell poopie
>appearantly woman was scared to go white in my european viking like arian country
>woman found cure
>woman smeared shit all over herself to stay brown.
Got another job afterwards and leftthis shithole with its unorganized piece of shit refugee policy. Never found the IS members. This is just a fraction of stuff that happened.
Pay was around 2100 euro a month
>>30207581
i smashed a kid in the face with a 6 d cell maglight because thats what was in my hand at the time
>be me
>working security at a shopping mall construction site
>mid of the night a group of homeless tards climb the fence
>proceed to trying to steal some large pneumatic tools
>a dozen tries later they haven't managed to cross the fence back with the pneumatic hammer
>its a fucking 3 meters tall fence and they have no plan to cross it back to the other side
>they scream and shout to each other, they kick the fence, they try to trow a fucking pneumatic hammer over it and still no luck
>at this point half and hour has passed
>eventually the 3 retards quit trying and cross the fence without what they came to steal
>they were less than 100 meters from an open gate and there was lots of smaller power tools on the site that valued much more than that hulk of metal
>I just watched the entire thing sitting on my desk
>till this day i haven't found more idiotic people than this 3 retards
>>30207362
Yup.
>>30207451
It was hell.
>>30207283
>/b/e in navy bootcamp
>Standing my first watch in the middle of the night
>Black petty officer comes in
>I dont know the little speech we have to give when he enters
>He coachs me thru it
2 weeks Later
>Same black petty officer comes it
>Oh shit time to prove myself
>"RECRUIT ANON, DIVISION 164 ALL RECRUITS.......
>Shut the fuck up im hear to see if anyone is sneaking around
>Things went better than expected
>Stand the next 2 hours with a pistol that is missing like the hammer, safety and some other shit loling to myself
Another Grimm story
>Be me
>Guarding parking lot near train station
>11pm on a Tuesday
>See a drunk guy walking away with one of our no parking signs
>Ask him to put it down
>"Oh shit" he says and starts booking it
>See his friends walking a but further back
>Ask them to get him to bring the sign back
>"Oh shit" they say and start running too
>Mfw one of them grabs another sign
>Mfw all I can do is file a report
>3am rolls around
>Go check on a corner of the lot where there is a picnic tent and a grill
>Mfw a homeless person is sitting on the grill
>Ask him to leave
>He refuses
>We are at an impasse
>He gets up and starts walking towards me
>Radio is out of batteries and it's too late to call the fuzz
>I back up
>He starts insisting that I am a famous actor/via agent
>Also insists that he is a little girl named fairy
>Eventually leaves the opposite end of the parking lot that we started at
>Then a 400lb women in a yellow tank top and a diaper rolls past on a scootiepuff jr
>Then I see two homeless guys boning across the street
>Then I have to switch spots with a female coworker because a homeless dude across the street had been staring at her and masturbating for over an hour
It took several months for the sheer insanity of that night to sink in. Never again.
>>30207680
sorry, thought the thread died after i went to sleep.
>we have a free parking garage, no night clubs
>other properties down the street are paid parking, with popular nightclubs
>people park here, get drunk over there, fight over here
>another Friday night, another Friday fight
>this time its a group of four local mexicans
>theyre fighting and walking, hitting other people, destroying shit
>fight breaks up by the time a few officers show up, just before a bridge that crosses above the street to the garage
>fight restarts halfway up the garage
>one officer reaches in to pull it apart
>they gang up on him
>next on scene is Kyle
>Kyle was special
>full on sprint, leaps towards Mexican on top of first officer
>misses the guy completely, rolls into the garage
>Kyle gets put into a headlock by another Mexican
>Manager runs up next
>tazer tazer tazer
>ridethelightning.webm
>first use of a tazer in the corporation
>more officers arrive, get the 4 arrested for assault and battery
>Kyle claims to this day his nearly severed vertebrae was due to the chokehold, but we knew better, he rolled onto his neck
>earned the nickname Superman
>Be me 140 pound guy in fairly good shape
>get up at 1230 my shift starts at 1600 check phone boss is franticly calling in all the guards because my site (I work at a bridge) has a suspicious package and EODs working in clearing it
>I get dressed and rush over there
>two guards (fat dindus) bitching about how they are about to pass out because of the heat its (its 104 out)
>I go to relive one of them
>I get to his spot and the fat fuck had left
a few days before that
>had a guard radio me telling me how he got a call about a family in a secured area
>me and him go patrol the area no one around
>he calls the alarm company turns out he forgot to arm an alarm that I told him to arm
few months before that same fat fuck
>fat fuck was doing a basement patrol and set off an alarm
>so he ripped the alarm panel off the wall and stomped on it
op - jSUT BE lIKE pOLICE AND DON'T ACTUALLY FIGHT CRIME bUT rATHER jUST ENFOrCE THE ((()))'S WILL aND THEN aRREST gOOT aMERUCKANS wHEN tHEY ACTUAlly TAKE cARE OF THE LAW BREAKING nIGS.
>>30213761
Are you having a stroke?
>>30215316
no. my arms are too short!
>>30215657
A T-Rex could do better.
>>30215763
well yeah. but where do you find one this time of night?
>>30207283
>Security thread
Negro pls
>>30207332
Brother! I just got done with my shift downtown!
And you make 10.50? That's exactly what they guys in blues make in my office.
>>30207369
Portland was weird 10 years ago.
Now it's batshit insane.
>>30209525
sauce on pic?
>>30215936
Made. I quit two years ago and never looked back. I make $10 now to clean gym equipment and fold towels. I have sane hours, a consistent schedule, and don't dread going to work. Am working on my EMT cert. No regrets.
>>30215948
Agreed. As soon as my GF finishes her education we are moving to Montana or something.
