Swiss Guard
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You are currently reading a thread in /k/ - Weapons
Do they hide guns under the poofies
How do they work
my buddy in the army reserve told me that the swiss guard is actually better trained than he is in the US army.
Fucking magnets man
>>30192737
That's just their dress uniform.
They're normally decked out like this.
Screw it, going to dump some Swiss Guard images.
1870s Swiss Guard with the then new Vetterli rifle.
>>30192748
Probably depends on what he does in the army desu.
>>30192788
he was 6 months from getting out and then he tried to make sergeant, not knowing that he'd ended up signing himself up for another several year duration cause apparently you can't go for a promotion if you only have half a year left on your bid. so now he has to spend another several years in the army reserves
Pics of the armoury
Next-level /fa/ uniform. Goddamn.
>>30192737
>>30192737
Those are their dress uniforms. Normal weapons include:
SIG P220 (P75)
Glock 19
Steyr TMP
Heckler & Koch MP5A3
Heckler & Koch MP7A1
SIG SG 550
SIG SG 552
More pictures and info in here.
http://www.guns.com/2014/04/13/guns-swiss-guard/
>>30192807
Your friend sounds dumb. I'm surprised he didn't join the marines.
Swiss Guard are trained by the Swiss military if I recall.
>>30192871
well he didn't want to go active duty because he wanted to go to community college. sadly going active duty would have been a better choice since it took him 6 years to get his associates :(
>>30192890
So it's just conscript-tier
>>30192834
They were inspired by Michaelangelo, so I'm not surprised
>>30192868
>tfw no papal crest on my guns
I need this now
>>30192927
They're really selective from what I've heard.
>>30192963
It's been a long time, but once an anon actually came in here with a bunch of knowledge on the Swiss Guard, and from what I remember, it is actually very selective
>>30192963
>They're really selective from what I've heard.
That doesn't change their training from being conscript-tier
>>30192737
Man, that shit is currently the most swank-ass military uniform on the planet. I'm sure it provides good maneuverability and hundreds of pockets and shit like that
>>30193006
Conscripts are usually shit tier, but the people who really want to do well still can.
>>30192748
>Army Reserve
Yeah no shit.
>>30193048
Looks pretty comfy, too.
Plenty of room for your johnson.
Too bad the downside is that you resemble a Hot Dog On A Stick employee with a polearm.
>>30193077
>volunteer>conscript
History would like to have a word with you.
>>30193134
Technically the Swiss are mercenaries, so this is all a moot point
>>30193102
That's an upside though. Colourful uniforms are always better when guarding someone important.
I bet I could pick up mad bitches with one of those suits.
>>30192941
Michelangelo was a fashion designer? I thought the dude did statues, paintings and frescoes?
>>30193190
>"...both Michelangelo and a painting of the Pontifical Swiss Guard bearing Pope Julius II on a litter (by Raphael) are often cited as inspiration for the Pontifical Swiss Guard uniform..."
It's part typical renaissance garb part new design.
>https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swiss_Guard
>>30193006
Dudes applying to the Swiss Guard actually go through some rather stringent training, things kicked up a notch after that one guy tried to whack John Paul II.
>>30193243
I doubt it, they're security guards. They have restraint training from people working for Monadnock and that's about it.
>>30193167
You might be right, but if they are devout Catholics (which I daresay is a requirement) then bitches might not be on their list of pluses.
I always wonder two things about the Swiss Guard.
1) How often they have had to light fools up.
2) If those polearms or swords they carry have been used to fuck anyone up in recent times.
>>30193227
>Inspiration
I thought it was merely the Swiss Guard /not/ updating their uniform for 400 years. I know it was a similar case with certain nordic militaries during the early 20th century; those dudes were still wearing tricornes like it was 1789.
>>30193304
>1) How often they have had to light fools up.
Probably never, the police do the actual policing.
>>30192927
They're pretty much SF. Small pool of people to guard the pope, can't just get conscripts
>>30193363
>They're pretty much SF
Fucking hell they're not even close to regular soldiers.
>>30193328
The dress uniform isn't new. It's VERY old in fact, but the original design was inspired by them
>>30193394
the dress uniform was designed in 1914 and is only based on older designs.
It's not a legit renaissance design.
>>30193304
They gotta be single and I vaguely remember some interviews displaying them as borderline fanatical.
>the one guy ITT who just can't handle the idea of the Swiss guard being good
>>30193432
Oh, I thought it was the same one that was shown in the anon's pic from the 1800s. My bad
>>30193481
Must be a protestant
>>30193494
nope. Matter o' fact, the 1914 pattern uniform, although still complex by modern tailoring standards, takes a lot of shortcuts compared to some of the older uniforms in order to be simpler to make.
Definitely not a ready-made, mass produced uniform, but also not nearly as complex as the older forms.
It's also lacking fashion features of older uniforms, like flared skirts and stuff that'd be considered pretty gay by modern standards, but not in the 1400s.
>>30193539
Now that's just cruel.
And probably the truth.
>>30192817
I would say this is the coolest armory int he entire world but I haven't seen every single one.
But, it has always been my favorite, the fake on in the Da Vinci Code is even better but not by much, which says a lot for the real one.
Why do those fags look like this.
>>30192737
The poofs serve a purpose: when fighting other pikemen, armor is useless, so they hide exactly where your limbs are on you, making it harder for them to stab you.
>>30192737
People have told me that the swiss guard are ready to rumble if things pop off. They may look like circus tents with halberds in dress but I think they are not to be fucked with.
>>30192737
I find it hilarious that God's right hand man needs bullet proof pope mobile and armed guards. Nothing says I trust you Lord like that.
>>30193610
I swear I saw another shot of the armory with MGs somewhere.
>>30193643
>He thinks god saves lives
Have you prayed to jesus today
>>30192963
I read that as PayPal crest
>>30193643
>pope mobile
>>30193643
What's that old saying about god helping those who help themselves? Even the most religious folks know you can just trust god to do everything.
>>30195692
dammit
can't*
>>30195692
Don't tell that to the goatfuckers. It's better for everyone if they trust Allah to guide their bullets instead of aiming
>>30193707
They have SIG MKPO and Hispano-Suiza MP43 submachineguns.
The Swiss Guard is also the only armed force outside Germany to adopt the Gewehr 98 Mauser before WW1; choosing it to replace their Vetterli m/1870/81s and Remington M1867 Rolling Blocks in 1904. It was later replaced in turn by the Swiss K31 in 1955. Note also on the center rack with the Gew.98s and Rolling Blocks is a French Lebel Mle.93, a German Karabinger 98k and a German MP38-or-40 submachine gun nearby.
The Swiss guard were operators during the sack of Rome, I don't know of any instance since then. And that was 500 years ago.
I don't really care for it anyways as I took the time to read the New Testament.
All that shit set aside, the Swiss guard is pretty cool. Some of them will "participate" in photos if you're nice enough and nothing says "HEY MA I WAS IN EUROPE" like the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile of Europe in the background of your pictures. I'd like to see the Vatican again but I don't think much has changed in the last five years.
>>30193643
Current Pope doesn't use a Popemobile.
Hell when he can get away with it, he doesn't even use his chauffeur (who is FBI/Secret Service trained defensive driver), he putts around in an unmarked Jetta.
>b-buh muh Swiss Guard!
99.99% ceremonial, but I think the whole world would love to see one pike a motherfucker.
Current Pope is actually pretty cool. Definitely a step in the right direction.
>>30195751
> The Holy See is Threatened
> An Enemy is at the Gates
> Skip merrily past the automatic SIG550s and battle rifles
> Don full plate and take up flamberge
God wills it
>>30192777
Neat, i have one of these refiles.
Interesting action, bolt action with a feed ramp system
>>30192737
I heard that they have weapons behind secret panels in the Vatican and other 007 shit like that
>Swiss Guard
this is like 90% unrelated, but some industrious anon on /tg/ drew a character of mine in swiss guard colors
>>30195751
>You will never go into battle in full plate and a Sig 550
>>30193006
Recruits to the guards must be Catholic, single males with Swiss citizenship who have completed basic training with the Swiss military and can obtain certificates of good conduct. Recruits must have a professional degree or high school diploma and must be between 19 and 30 years of age and at least 174 cm (5 ft 8.5 in) tall.
No manlets allowed.
>>30193643
They're more status symbols than they are anything practical considering that Francis forgoes using the Pope Mobile...
But then again, why does the Pope need status symbols?
>>30195861
Papy doesn't look happy at them. He seems to be quite displeased at their current life choices. He'll probably have to pray for them later.
>>30195769
Went to the Vatican last year.
First time in yurop, I thought Rome was a pretty nasty city if you got so much as one street off the tourist track
>>30195791
>Current Pope is actually pretty cool. Definitely a step in the right direction.
No...he's a borderline heretic. And I say this as a full heretic, so I'm qualified in such matters.
>>30195791
I bet you think Bernie Sanders is a step in the right direction as well.
>>30195861
is it bad that I kinda wanna fap to their boot polish?
I mean, fuck all if my job isn't so boring that I polish my shit daily, but that mid-range thick/thin sheer polish job across the entire length, width and breadth of those jackboots without a single crack in the creases makes me want to polish my cock with kiwi right this very moment.
>>30195791
>Current Pope is actually pretty cool. Definitely a step in the right direction.
he's anything but. I'd rather follow the Dalai lama then him
>>30192890
You can't become a Swiss Guard by doing your service. It's a specific thing that has nothing to do with the different "jobs"
>>30193299
They're SWAT/SEALS unit like anon
>>30195899
This
>>30195917
Shit, the Vatican loved the Nazis. If anything they were jealous Hitler was able to kill so many Jews in such a short time.
>>30193006
Their job includes guarding the pope when he goes abroad, they're basically the papal Secret Service. Actual bodyguards and not just decoration.
>>30195899
>Implying anything less than 6'2" isn't manlet-tier
>>30193006
I imagine (and I have no experience on this whatsoever) they'd probably excel at things like escorting and protecting VIPs, crowd control, unarmed combat and gunfighting. Not as good as a group like SEALs or anything, but probably as good as a SWAT team within their areas of expertise. It's difficult to gauge how much actual experience they have.
>>30197860
Well they're supposed to have SEALS level. And they're respected by them so they probably are
>>30192737
They are like the British Royal guardsmen. Those guys you see are just ceremonial window dressing. They look interesting and add a flavor of history and tradition to the Vatican.
Inside both the Vatican and Buckingham Palace you would find a quick reaction force type unit who would be wearing more normal dress and they would engage any would be attackers with rifles.
>>30193299
I take it you've never seen them in the flesh, have you?
>>30193299
>>30193632
No, you're just a moron. Fuck off.
>>30197885
British palace guards are combat veterans tho
>>30192737
>poofies
I laughed audibly
>>30198013
He's half right though. Armor did work against pikes. But wearing a full suit of armor and not just a breastplate was sort of hard. So they usually wore a breastplate, and/or minimal armor for other key areas, and the poofs (other than looking bad ass.) helped hide a person's extremities.
>>30197942
>>30197952
Try looking it up sometime instead of just imagining what they do and arguing from ignorance.
Those Halberds are probably fantastic for crowd control, Imagine putting down a riot with them we should arm riot cops with those.
>>30198092
nigga if you think those poofs hide extremities you are fucking blind
>>30198126
If you're >>30193299, you should apply this advice to yourself
>>30195751
Fun Fact.
The armory also contains a single MP-40 captured from a German soldier who surrendered to the Vatican in WWII.
>>30198134
I'd love to know what else you think they do for this apparent special-forces level of aptitude
>>30198878
See >>30197885, he pretty much nailed it.
Swiss Guards are highly-trained soldiers that can respond to any threat from terrorism to assassination. Not everyone can apply even if you met the religious, age and nationality criterias.
Look it up. They're SEALS level and even respected by any group like that even if they make fun of the ceremonial uniform
>>30197824
That's why the jews thanked the pope after the war, right?
Retard.
>>30199029
>Look it up. They're SEALS level
I can't tell if you're really obviously joking or actually a massive moron
>>30199086
I can't tell if you're plain retarded or just pretending
>>30192871
Kek
you never hear about terrorist threats on the Christian capital of the world. are kebab even allowed in the vatican?
>>30197846
6'2" here. Glad i'm not any taller or I'd be a larger target. I bet you don't even operate, fag.
>>30199120
>SEAL's training
>24 week Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL school
>Basic parachutists course
>26 week SEAL Qualification Course
>Covers urban combat, land navigation, weapons training, small unit tactics, demolitions, unarmed combat, cold weather warfare, medical skills, SERE, HALO/HAHO, Scout/Sniper, advanced driving, unmanned vehicle operations, covert surveillance and combat diving
>Swiss Guard training
>5 week course
>Covers drill, Italian language, Vatican knowledge and personalities, and a one-day MDTS course involving blocking and restraint techniques.
>After three years you are allowed to take a two-week bodyguard course in Switzerland.
>>30197788
i bet you think trump is cool
ah yea, tip your fedora too
>>30199186
Then what, you'll tell us that French Foreign Legions are only trained to do jumping rope?
>>30199398
http://www.guardiasvizzera.va/content/guardiasvizzera/en/diventare-guardia/formazione.html
So apparently me and the Swiss Guard themselves are incorrect about their training.
You know it's disgusting the amount of people telling me I'm wrong when apparently I'm the only person that bothered to look it up.
>>30192817
>those K31's
HNNNNNNNNNNNNG
>>30199032
who helped the nazis escape to south america again...?
>>30200422
Boat companies?
>>30192748
>the swiss guard is actually better trained than he is in the US army.
They are an honor guard/special forces/secret service type outfit so that is not surprising
>>30199160
I think even Mudshits realize just how bad of a fuck up attacking the Vatican would be.
Deus Vult part 2: Electric Removaloo
>>30199160
I think they are. The Pope took some Syrian refugees back with him after he visited a camp somewhere. I'm about 60% sure they were Muslims.
>>30201118
Yeah, pretty much every Christian, not even just Catholics, would immediately be calling for the cancellation of Islam.
ael.
>>30197801
I sure hope that you would follow the Dalai Lama rather than some goddamn catholic.
The Dalai Lama is the leader we need.
https://www.rt.com/news/344983-dalai-lama-refugee-crisis/
>>30201118
>>30195632
No, because I don't believe in him.
>>30201118
>>30195791
Current pope is a heretic who supports the caliphate attack force entering the west. We need a pope who wants another crusade. This time we'll remove all kebab.
>>30201118
How would a modern crusade work logistically?
So the next pope calls Deus Vault, thousands answer him. Now what?
The Swiss Guard are mercenary bodyguards hired out of the Swiss army, they probably couldn't lead an invasion since Switzerland will probably stay neutral. And their not high ranking either, so wouldnt be well suited to commanding a war effort.
People curently serving in militaries would similarly be prevented from just up and going.
So it would be an army of untrained volunteers and ex-military. Self equipped. Organized by....?
It would hilarious to watch. Maybe even terrific to take part in. But let's not pretend it would be anything other than a cataclysmic clusterfuck.
>>30195791
>step in the right direction.
For whom? The Chorch? Certainly.
The man chairing one of the most wealthy and powerful organizations the Earth has ever known spouts empty populist rhetoric at the poor masses and has people falling all over themselves to suck his dick.
It worked on you, so I guess he's doin' a good job.
>>30201305
>>30201350
Those pictures are damn nice
>>30201419
we write our prayers on nukes and turn all sand people to glass
>>30201419
Swiss Guards don't depend on Switzerland so they could lead the crusade without the said country having problems. They would be a little outnumbered though
>>30201239
I hope one of them tries, just for the lulz on the global stage.
>>30201419
Swiss Guards aren't attached to Switzerland so they can invade Muslimabad if they want without Switzerland losing its recognition as a country nor losing lands to France, Italy and Germany.
>>30195899
>No manlets allowed.
You seem to forget the definition of manlet is a biological male below 183cm (6').
>>30195917
>>30197824
>>30199032
>>30200422
>>30200605
>That's right we did it! We helped the Nazis escape!
>>30201069
>special forces
>Swiss Guard
Do you think G4S are special forces too?
>>30201419
It would be a volunteer army of foreign nationals. Been done before.
The Church would need to spend some dough to set up training camps and buy equipment. This shouldn't be a problem given the centuries of wealth in their hands.
Ideally, they'd furnish troops with gear and weaponry, and hire or convince people with military knowledge/experience to comprise the ranks of whatever leadership core they want set up.
I'm sure SIG or FN would be happy to fill a contract for them for some of that sweet papal dough.
People serving in other militaries might not feel obligated to their country above their god, and either get an exemption of some kind, or merely desert.
It could work.
How well? We'll likely never know.
Advocating for holy wars seems to be pretty unpopular among the non-snackbar communities.
>>30201419
Assuming that the entire purse of the Church and its willing faithful are available I'd imagine that these issues would be resolved. All they need is bodies, trainers, and mercenaries. There would be many falling over themselves at the chance to lay into some heathen.
>>30201816
>It would be a volunteer army of foreign nationals
>Been done before.
In fact that would make it like every other Crusade.
>>30201849
Precisely.
The only difference would be... everything that's changed about war since the last crusade.
>>30201419
>>30201849
Most of the crusades except the first and third were colossal clusterfucks. Also they weren't wars on Islam, but had fairly limited goals of retaking the Holy Land and pushing back Muslim conquests of Byzantine territory.
>>30192868
Why isn't Glock's rail properly paralleled with the barrel?
>>30202721
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnwU2iMRUqA&t=1m0s
>>30195791
>Current Pope is actually pretty cool.
Current Pope is communist and an adept of the Liberation Theology. Also he is in favor of mass immigration, bows down to appease muslims, has compared Jesus's apostles's preachings to the expansion of ISIS and has given comments in favor of islamic demographic/populational replacement of Christian in Europe........... I could go on for days.
>>30201363
>We need a pope who wants another crusade
They'll get denied just like Popes after the various European kings had more power than the church.
>>30202787
>Relays Christian teachings verbatim
>HE'S A COMMIE NOT MY POPE
>>30202813
Did you even the entirety of my post? Which part of Christ's teachings calls for the massive massacring of dissidents, the Proletariat's dictatorship, armed revolution and acts of the terrorism against the Bourgeoisie and all opposing political forces?
>>30202833
>massive massacring of dissidents
Are you having a stroke
>>30202860
You're about to give me one.
>>30199405
>tfw I had to train for 12 weeks just to be a cop guarding a courthouse.
I'd be the best Swiss Guard on the fucking planet. Maybe they should change it to the American Guard.
>>30202871
So you're saying the current pope called for a genocide.
>>30201287
>https://www.rt.com/news/344983-dalai-lama-refugee-crisis/
>rt
kek
Also
>following a spiritual leader that allows you to be a "saint" for giving them money
You know that Steven Seagal is a Tibetan lama?
>>30202813
>shall not kill
Actually refers to murder.
>live by the sword
Refers to using violence as problem solving, not to self defense (see sell your cloak to buy a sword)
>Eye of the needle
One interpretation is that Jesus is mocking the guy because he is so obsessed with his own pride, the rich guy says he's done all the commandments but still wants Jesus to tell him how to be better, so Jesus facetiously tells him basically to be completely selfless, thus revealing that the man didn't care about heaven, but only his pride, since he values money and heavy equally if not money moreso.
>Ignoring render unto Cesar.
Christianity is not about this world it's about the next world, it's followers are supposed to live simple lives not because the world should be like that but because "fuck this world". Basically it's a doom cult.
>>30202878
No, he is disagreeing with the pope, not necessarily on a moral basis, but rather a factual one, he asserts that trying to do what the pope wants would inevitably RESULT in purges and what have you, not that the pope advocates purges.
Obviously the pope disagrees.
See, you can disagree about what is morally right given a model of how things will work out, OR, you can disagree about how things will work out.
>>30193363
hahahahhaha no...
>>30197810
are you equating SWAT with SEALS? you cant be serious
>>30193299
Used to work security for an archdiocese. Those fellas are no joke. Their training is far closer to secret service or Diplomatic Security Service than special forces.
>>30192817
My left nut for a swiss guard K-31.
>>30201812
i'm generalising for lack of a better term
>>30203825
That's just being completely wrong.
>>30201816
It'd time to burn every Koran and bury all Muslims. They are a blight on humanity. It'd time to send them to hell where those heretics belong.
>>30195791
If Satan personally chose this Pope I don't think he could have picked a better one. Pope is undermining the church in the most fundamental ways
>>30204126
Don't whine because your figurehead is telling you to be nice to people
>>30195923
Welcome to pretty much any major city in the western world in the current year. Our civilization is committing suicide we're witnessing it in real time
>>30204149
Yeah gosh just go to Moscow or Beijing they're wonderlands
