ITT: Roman /k/
Fellow Plebeians, I just signed up for the Legion. What am I in for?
Plan on building a lot of roads.
20 years of marching.
>>29950715
>>29950748
Surely it must be more than that?
>>29950786
gay sex, lots of gay sex. you'll not have the warm embrace of a woman for a while unless you rape foreigners
>>29950696
Marcellus got drunk the other day and only brought 1 pilum to the seige, fucking idiot had 1 sandal on.'
Fucking southerners man.
>be in Iberia
>Non Est Mi starts playing
>>29950786
no really, they marched all day, built actual small cities at night, deconstructed them in the morning, and then did it again
for months in a row. have fun.
>>29950801
in the late Republic/early Empire period (ie the one most people think of), buggery was a good way to get yourself flogged to death. Not much need for it either because there was almost always a civilian baggage train behind the legion full of wimminz
>>29950824
yeah, pederasty was more of a Spartan thing
The Romans did get hella degenerate though
>>29950696
Sign up lads for a good and glorious life.
>>29950801
No. They had trains of whores following their baggage trains.
>>29950696
either yov sit on yovr ass on the rhine or danvbe, march all the time and carry 100 povnds of shit with yov, or yov somehow svrvive 20 years and get a small shitty farm to work. just remember to covnt yovre blessings that yov didn't join the marines, or ship rowers.
but hey, not everyone gets to be an optimates.
>>29950696
being a roman senator's fuckboi
>>29950801
you're mistaking the based romans with the faggot greeks
never post here again.
>>29950978
You realise romans had a habit of boy fiddling too right?
Rome and Greek didn't view homosexuality like us, their take on it was that if you got fucked in the ass you're a faggot, if you're the fucker though, alls good
>>29950821
yeah but he lived unscathed, while so many others died.
and did you see that sweet decapitation he did?
im beginning to think hes onto something...
>>29951016
that's pretty gay
>>29951055
Yep
>>29951055
American Prison system in a nutshell
>>29950861
Made me chvckle.
>>29950696
>he doesn't honor his lares
laughingvestals.mosiac
>>29951055
I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
Grafitti from Pompeii. Romans were gay as fuck sometimes.
The real faggots are the one who perform oral sex, on men or women.
>>29951409
They also made loads of dick sculpture graffiti everywhere, also there's loads of variants of "We were here" written by them
"We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus."
I also believe 2 gallic mercs wrote their names into a pyramid in egypt
>>29950696
Hope you like drilling. On the field and in your ass.
>>29950696
>enlist as a legionary
>cause I ain't no senator's son
>>29951883
The gallic merc thing makes me sad for some reason.
>>29952562
How come?
I think it's quite heartwarming tbqh
>>29950696
Marches, Drills, building roads, building fortifications, marching, some more weapons drills, shit weather, and new people who may or may not be interesting. You'll probably do a rotation in Syria.
>fucking parthians
>>29950696
Hope you like bricks
Because you'll be laying more god damn roads than fighting the savages in the north.
>>29950836
That was the higher class I believe
The plebs were too busy getting action
>>29950824
>baggage train
Who /marianmule/ here?
lmao all these plebs
>>29950861
Well done.
>>29951409
Wow, what humans did before /r9k/. Huh.
>>29951158
>>29953888
>>29953893
>>29953901
>>29950696
[Shitposting]Filthy Caesar savages.[/shitposting]
>>29950824
What section did you serve with? I got stuck training slaves for the gladiator rings after getting my shield shoulder impaled by a pilum.
>>29952470
Underrated
>>29950696
Former Centurion turned Camp Prefect here.
Stay quiet and listen to your superiors. Learn your place, and try to learn who you shouldn't cross. I know many a Centurion who enjoys the thought of beating the shit out of a snot-nosed brat like yourself.
Try to get a posting in the East. You'll see more activity and the people there are more civilized. And the whores are better.
Whatever you do, don't go North. Germania is a deplorable shithole where sons of politicians come to do their time and the rain only ends for it to snow. The whores are covered in hair, and the boys don't know how to wash. And then there's the fucking auxiliaries we pull in who can't even manage to form a fucking formation.
And don't get me started on German refugees who want to cross the Limes.
>>29951016
Celts, Germans and later on Vikings thought so as well.
>>29953983
>original Roman Legion
>equivalent to some backwards tribal raiders who can't go beyond the basic grasps of how to use a firearm and set up camp
Lol wut?
>>29954203
Can confirm
>tfw the son of a senator
>spent the last 5 years in Germania and Gavl
Something abovt the region makes the Romans as savage as the barbarians. There's abovt as mvch discipline as if the men serving were all Caligvlan libertines, and I'd swear an oath that I once saw a legionary vsing his gladivs as a backscratcher. I pray those men never see combat.
Especially not the goddamn avxiliaries.
>>29953888
Kek.
That one worked out swimmingly, eh?
>>29954203
>>29954299
The east is fine, but don't lead this guy on too much. In the east it's only a matter of time before you're going to find yourself marching through a desert only to go toe to toe with Parthians. Those eastern scum can't seem to keep out of Armenia. And don't even get me started about if you get assigned to Judea.
>>29951016
Actually the one doing the dicking is considered the straightest of all men and normal men are faggots in comparison
>>29950823
Keksimusmaximus.jpg
>>29950824
Who are you, traveler? Are you from our future? What does the Republic look like?
>>29954219
Oh gods, that would be glorious. What is that contraption? Some kind of new spear?
>>29954767
Mobile auto-mechanical crossbow.
>>29954783
Strange
Pict here. I always see a bunch of darts strapped to the inside of your shields. How good are those things? Do they go as far as a sling stone?
>>29950696
How ethnic were the footsoldiers? I mean, 'war never changes' and theyre gonna be the poor, but they enslaved pretty much everyone and thus had people from all over right?
REMOVE SPAGHETTI remove spaghetti
you are worst roman. you are the roman idiot you are the roman smell. return to rome. to our gaul cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,rome we will never forgeve you. legion rascal FUck but fuck asshole rome stink roman legionpere legionpare..legion genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead roman..ahahahahahROME WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget teutoburg forest .rome we kill the legion , legion return to your precious rome….hahahahaha idiot roman and legion smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE EAGLE FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. cherusci+marsi+bructeri+chauci+sicambri=kill legion…you will teutoburg/ arminius alive in germania, arminius making mosaic of germania . fast chant arminius germania. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of arminius… you are ppoor stink roman… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a colosseum
arminius alive numbr one #1 in germanic ….fuck the legion ,..FUCKk ashol roman no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur eagle and legion. arminus aliv and real strong shaman kill all the roman farm aminal with spear magic now we the germa rule .ape of the zoo emperor augusuts fukc the great pluto and lay egg this egg hatch and varus wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. germania greattst countrey
>>29954564
>And don't even get me started about if you get assigned to Judea.
What would he have to worry about? Hadrian crushed those zealots decades ago, we'll never have to worry about desert savages and their one god ever again.
>>29950696
Hopscotch. Youre going to play hopscotch a load
>>29956647
Sorry Adalbert, but you have to go back.
>>29954575
No, not really, how did you come to that idea?
Not everyone was homosexual back then, just that being a queer was different
>be on deployment in west
>ordered to take Gallian village
>thisisgonnabeeasy.statue
>out of fucking nowhere this giant fat guy shows up and launches half my buddies across the field
>narrowly escape as more of my buddies are sent flying
join the legion they said! it'll be fun they said!
>>29956588
There was a lot of variety, but not why you'd think.
You see, service in the legion was the newly-annexeds' way to become true Roman citizens. If a man served his time in the legion I believe it was something along the line of he, his wife, and his children all became citizens.
Thing is, Roman citizenship was actually a pretty good deal by ancient standards. Areas of Italy actually rioted when the Empire said they were going to just be their own people rather than Roman citizens. The reason Rome spread so far and maintained a cohesive assimilating culture rather than a melting pot like modern states is everybody and their dog wanted to be Roman. They were just that great.
So going back to your question, there was variety, but you stopped seeing the Italians as a core section of it, because for Rome it didn't matter what section of the Empire you were from. You were Roman, and you'd do your duty.
The exception was certain segments of the upper classes. But then again, Rome's cavalry was financed and populated by their financial elite, and having military experience was almost a requirement for a political position.
>>29957488
Bleh, that should be "never stopped seeing the Italians". My bad.
>>29957433
Look at the bright side: They might be beating you guys silly, but they always stop before actually permanently maiming or killing you.
>>29956588
Most were Italics, Greek, or descendants of Italic settlers.
>>29950696
I SERVED TWENTY YEARS
I FOUGHT IN TWENTY BATTLES
I KILLED TWENTY GAULS
BUT ALL I WANT
IS ONE QT HELLENIC SLAVE
>>29954235
As do modern Arab and Persian cultures.
>http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2007/05/the-kingdom-in-the-closet/305774/
>>29957488
You had to be a Roman citizen to join in the first place.
>>29957488
Please stop.
You just generalized a number of things that changed considerably over the life of rome, and are so uninformed as to confuse auxiliaries and actual legionaries.
