Okay /k/, How viable would this be for HD if you fired pool balls out of it instead of baseballs?
>Be Innahouse
>Hear noise
>grab pic related
>run downstairs
>unload 10 pool balls on nig intruder at 60 mph
I mean that would do some damage
>>29949685
I'd always wondered if you could tweak it slightly to launch various dildos though the air at 90mph.
I need to know for research purposes
>>29949685
Someone's been playing some FO:NV lately.
>>29949685
+1 for making me lol, first time in a while on /k/
maybe just hook it up to a tripwire that activates when your door is opened. so it starts launching cueballs as soon as door is open. you could just start using the chimney to get into your house instead
>>29949704
>hear a sound in the night
>go downstards
>robber is rummaging through ground kitch drawers
>quietly slide out my rotary rapist
>"pshh...nothin personell,blyat."
>fire a dildo at his defenseless anus
>get charged with supersonic sodomy
>spend the night in jail
worth it
>>29949742
>spend night in jail
>for my own personal supersonic sodomy
Ftfy
>>29949742
>robber ends up being 15 year old black kid in a hoodie
>just happened to be carrying some skittles
>black community in uproar becasue you were a white hispanic
>you spend 6 months in jail because bail denied
>you go to trial, become national media sensation
>media runs headlines like "child killing dildo launching monster on trial"
>"why did he have to follow the robber, he could have just called police"
>you go into hiding, enjoy your dildo collection while you can, pretty soon its gonna be the real thing in state prison
>>29949742
I honestly wonder if you killed someone with a dildo launcher in self defence if it'd be counted as gun violence or a rape statistic by the anti gunners
>>29949685
you'd really want to use all cue balls considering cues are much heavier than standard ones.
you would also need to beef up the motors to handle with the extra strain on them.
but, totally doable and awesome.
It would be very painful
>>29949783
>be retard who can't leave well enough alone
>sell hypersonic plastic penis projecter afterwords
>cause national outrage
>>29950110
the fact this shit is real makes it 1000x funnier
>>29949742
>rotary rapist
>>29950107
your a big guy
>>29949685
Why do faggots start threads like this?
I'm coming for you, op. You are going to die.
>>29949685
>not firing grenades
>>29951247
You'd better pray the mechanism doesn't get crushed by the rotaries.
>>29951264
Better make it remotely activated then.
Are there any roughly spherical incendiary grenades?
>>29951341
I'm sure there is. A better option would be something like thick water balloons full of napalm or thermite that would explode when they hit your intended target.
>>29951360
Clay or glass would be better for a low tech option like that.
>>29951383
I feel like glass would get crushed. Something durable like a hollowed out tennis ball or baseball could work.
>>29951383
We looneytunes now
>>29951391
It seems so obvious now that you have said it...that would be perfect.
>>29951413
Get one of these machines for softballs, hollow it out, fill it with buckshot, some kind of blasting cap, and a simple fuse.
>>29950013
Nigga you had to ask a question that now makes me want to know the answer to
>>29951195
lol ok tripfag
>>29949685
Wew lad
I have too much experience with the eternal JUGS machine.
Let me tell you a thing or two about these bad boys.
>they're practically invincible
Real teams with real coaching use the "iron mike" pitching machine or some of the newer technology that can throw everything from 2 seam fastballs to knuckleballs, these just spit out balls, for teams full of retard high school kids that view it as a glorified potato cannon. I know, because I did it. My high school varsity baseball coach was really cool, and gave us the code to access all the facilities because he wanted us to practice as much as we could, we used these for pop-fly practice because turned to eleven it sent pop-ups about 200 feet into the air. Well what that actually turned into was Saturday nights we'd score some cases of beer off of a homeless guy at the 7/11 by the practice field, then go out and get drunk and shoot tater artillery, and eventually we thought "I bet that thing will shoot potatoes, it shoots everything from baseballs to dimpled rubber balls, why not spuds?" A good solid spud fresh from HEB usually did as well as the PVC. Then come Monday, it launched baseballs just as well.
>versatile
They have a very long power cord and the tripod can sit in any environment and shoot reliably, you just need a generator or extension cord
>somehow gentle
Again, we put russet potatoes through it, I don't know much about grenades but I'd assume they can survive the process
>can control distance
We learned how to use them from every distance, it could shoot hard ground balls out to 400 feet or you could pepper a target from above consistently from 100 feet away, they're surprisingly accurate
>easy to repair
It's a very simple motor and pulley system, if something fucks up it's easy to fix with basic tools and some replacement belts or wheels.
I don't know about home defense but my experience leads me to believe a JUGS could function as a poor man's mortar launcher
>>29949742
Supersonic Sodomy sounds like a great album title.
>>29951574
Fuck you're right.
>>29949685
You are probably too young and normal to be into survival research laboratories but they built one with a car engine that shoots 2x4s. picrelated
Look up the D.R.E.A.D. cannon its DARPA's attempt to weaponize the concept.
>>29949780
>subsonic sodomy**
Ftfy
>Intruder is dindu who's father walked out
>He carries a bat to attack homeowners
>You set up the speedball special
>Fire!
>He turns, just as the ball flies towards him he knocks it away
>Continues until all balls are gone
>Both of you are exhausted, mostly because you've been masturbating furiously to the speedball 9000
>Burglar realises this is the closest he ever got to playing ball with a male role model
>Confides in you, you take him in.
>Jerome now has a father
>Grows up a good boy, gets a law degree
>SonIAmProud.jpg
>Jerome pushes for the widespread knowledge and laws protecting of the speedball 9000
>You both make millions off noguns /k/ommandos like me and retire happy.
I wish you luck OP
>>29949685
I see we Fallout now
>>29949742
>rotary rapist
>supersonic sodomy
Holy shit that is some based keks
