Sword Cringe! Get yer Sword Cringe here
:
http://dudeswithswords.tumblr.com/
>>29896352
Oh man I hope this takes off, I could use a good cringe thread. I don't have any /k/ related but bump
>>29896352
To be fair I'd tear that ass up.
I think we need a dump to get things started.
No one threatens my virginity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGbE0L2zWbc
I dare you to top it.
What did you say about bronies?
From the makers of Iron Chef: Sumo Dessert Chef
>>29896527
>Lead Chef would been better...
This guy is TOO cool.
dudeswithswords.tumblr.com
Jesus.
that's fucking embarrassing.
I work with swords, as a historian. handled more in museums than I can count.
but its photos like that entire tumblr that are the reason I absolutely refuse to be photographed while holding a sword. (even a 700-year old one that's rusty as hell.) I never want to be associated with people like that.
(especially given I rather like black leather jackets, and I do not wish to be a walking cliche.... )
>From the makers of Fruit Ninja
Pantry Ninja
>>29896639
fruitcake ninja
Obligatory.
>>29896674
that slicked back hair and baby face. ahh, that did make me crack a smile
>>29896717
I'm glad it did.
>http://dudeswithswords.tumblr.com/
More like skellingtons and fatties with wallhangers.
>>29896639
DO NOT bring Will Keith into this. He is a total bro with more moves at 400lbs than any of you at 180.
>>29896747
>I'm using "dude" in a non-gender specific way, here
Tumblr needs to die.
>>29896749
He actually is pretty cool. And would probably ass rape me in a sword fight. But I don't live in a no guns state like him.
Another classic. Time for bed /K/ommandos.
>>29896749
All the moves I have to do is jog half a block and watch him fall down wheezing
>>29896807
My God he's actually stroking his facepubes in the profile pic.
>>29896849
>>29896807
the best part is the moniker "the magnificent"
Just makes the whole thing.
>>29896807
What kind of fucked up parents did he grow up with.
If my dad had caught me doing any of that shit he would have beat the self awareness back into me.
>>29896821
At least he looks relatively /fit/
>>29896916
with these men it is most likely that he doesn't have a dad.
You will always find that these people are often raised alone by single mothers.
>>29896938
Single moms are literally worse than Hitler. Especially since Hitler did nothing wrong and the holocaust is a lie.
>>29896352
I know I shouldn't be surprised by all the naked pictures, but I am.
>>29896938
Single mom takes out all of lifes problems (as women are wont to do) on her child who lacks the stabilizing influence of a father figure to teach them how to stand up for themselves.
In males you typically see the effeminate and physically lacking male attempt to compensat by taking over as "man of the house" though such efforts are superfelous and clumsy, even laughable as they are attempting to recreate a figure of masculinity without having ever truly expierienced it.
Hence sword waving and pathetic attempts at martial prowess.
In females they just try to cover up the sense of abandonment by becoming strippers or sluts, inevitably leading to them becoming a single mom themselves and continuing the cycle.
I have often wondered if the influx of liberal cuck politics as of late coincides with the equal increase of divorced fatherless households as a cause or as a side effect.
Are the liberals fucking up traditional family roles or is that unrelated and growing up without a father just make liberal idealogy seem more attractive?
Idk, food for thought, but fat guys clumsily trying to recreate anime with cheap fake swords is hilarious.
>>29897333
i'm tired from work and can only process simple pictures with my brain power right now. here's how i read your post
>stabalizing stand is typically effeminate masculinity
>stopped reading there, then continued
>female stripper sluts influx cuck
>spaced out for a minute then came to
>liberal food guys recreate anime
you're post is a faggot guy
>>29897442
*your
Not him but I wanted to just drop in and sagesay that you probably live in a fatherless home. The person you replied to seems to have a fairly accurate picture of neckbeards and their development. Even the skinny neckbeards who go more towards the route of "masculinity via technology" seem to end up liking some pretty weird weaponry as a way to compensate. It's odd how we end up when you take something as simple but important as a male adult out of the picture. I'd think that the child would be able to mature in a regular way but hell, that just isn't the case.
>>29897831
no, faggot. just like i literally didn't read his post i will not read yours. also, i'm 100% certain you are that guy. fuck you retard and learn to take a joke. also, you'll never get laid, ever.
>>29896674
That's... That's actually kind of cool
>>29896766
Have you never used dude in reference to a female? I know i have. All the time. Also bruh.
>>29896916
Amish, clearly
>>29896674
Still more successful at life than 90% of /k/.
>>29896949
>>29897841
>>29897841
That guys not enough of a dipshit to tripfag like I do.
In any case, if you didnt come here to read posts why show up at all?
I hear 9gag and tumblr enjoy spoonfeeding entertaining photos to users with no context or intelligence. Why not go there?
>>29896553
>braveheart(arrhythmia)
>>29898419
>if i didn't come here to read posts
stopped reading there, faggot
i win again
When I was like 17 I bought a katana in chinatown, and I used to pour lighter fluid on the blade and swing it around on fire while yelling attack names.
Man I'm glad that cell phone cameras and youtube weren't really a thing yet.
>>29897333
How do you fuck's always present a complex idea so well? I can toy with an idea for a while and understand what I mean, but not really know how to convey it well unless I sit down, write my thoughts out, then organize them.
Same process I'm guessing?
>be 14
>fencing for 2 years
>think its kinda gay, wanna learn something with more living tradition
>japanese katana seems alluring, they used em right up until the 40's right?
>rural area, pre internet, so anime and katana meme wasnt a thing yet, if you wanted to know something you checked an encyclopedia out from the library
>like a 14 year old kid is doing that
>kinda fat but not obese kid enthusiastically informs me that he is a samurai sword expert
>go to his house to learn a bit about it
>he produces two wooden trainers and demands we "spar"
>well normally when you "spar" it kinda requires both opponents to atleast be slightly trained
>otherwise its just two dumbasses swinging sticks at eachother
>kid sets up in a comically strange pose, but hey, pre internet, I have zero idea what japanese form even looks like
>screams "HAI" at the top of his lungs and performs a stunningly embarrassingly grotesque flopping display whilst spinning
>realize he is retarded, ww2 vets have taught me enough to realize that he just spun in a circle while screaming "YES" in another language
It took another 20 years for society to figure out things like aspergers and weeaboos until I could describe whatlwas wrong with him.
So yeah, they actually arent anything new.
>>29896463
I'd love to have just kneed him right in the balls then snapped his piece of shit sword.
>>29896624
Oh my. That page is....unfortunate.
Although there is that one hot chick in there.
>>29898530
Just think, he's probably in JP as an 'English Teacher' now and probably spends his evenings in a fur suit
>>29896527
i mean, this guy actually looks retarded. and he's at least in a kitchen
>>29897333
I think you're right about most of this, but the whole liberal/conservative thing doesn't really have anything to do with it. Society is fucked up in a way that's far beyond what any group's intentions can handle.
You know what, though, we could look at this from a completely different angle. Maybe it's just natural instinct for some guys to want to be sword-wielding badasses, and in another time these guys would have been on the battlefield doing it, maybe they'd have even been heroes, but there's no legitimate outlet for it nowadays.
>>29896527
No cake is safe from this man
>>29898527
>>29898527
Well its kind of a complex answer.
1st off, my granpa was a sucessful novelist, having been raised mostly by him my english studies were reviewed by what I can only describe as a fanatic. If literal grammar nazis existed my grandpa was in the grammar SS as an officer.
Next, I actually studied psychology and sociology and earned a degree before enlisting in the marines.
Now, before you say im just trying to pander for attention via service, let me explain why a marine enlistment is actually relevant. I made it to sergeant, in the infantry even the officers are dumb (they are dumb everywhere but I digress.)
In any case I was forced to communicate (via writing in many cases) concepts in a way they would be understood. Even if the recipient was somebody who made forest gump look bright. Except even if they were retarded, they could still fuck me over just because they were too dim to understand and out of jealousy that I actually held a degree in a real field and they only posessed something in liberal arts.
But lastly, I am always drunk when I post on /k/. Anyone who played fallout can tell you that it gives you a charisma bonus.
>>29896480
You could kill him just with taunts during the final epic showdown.
>>29898492
You replied to a thread.
I WIN.
DADDY.
I have a 1945 issue of life magazine, it is literally FILLED with genuine ww2 propaganda.
Battery advertisements for everready D batteries? "We are sorry, 9 in 10 batteries are currently going to the war effort, but when the war is over we hope you remember our service and choose everready as soon as they are available. Buy warbonds and bring that day closer!"
Stuff like that.
>>29898664
Wrong thread, please ignore.
>>29898527
>How do you fuck's always present a complex idea so well?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlKL_EpnSp8&t=0m28s
>>29896352
>black hair
>black eyeliner
>black clothes
>black everything
>netting shirt
>$50 fantasy trashsword
>muh frowny face
>>29898781
>OPs pic
I don't know what pissed me off more; his massive faggotry, or his uncanny ability to effortlessly wreck my shit.
>>29896527
thats some texas chainsaw shit right there
>>29897862
How obese are you?
Shit, I dont own an Albion or anything but its always 200 or less wallhangers with the cringe pics isnt it.
>>29898530
>thinking fencing is gay
>>29898566
What if i told you that society isn't actually fucked up?
Think about it; people have always said that society is fucked up. Even today, both those on the left and on the right say that.
But just because society doesn't exactly conform to your personal ideal of what the world SHOULD be like, doesn't mean that it's wrong for it.
>>29898668
It's okay senpai, i still think it's neat
>>29898781
Isn't he a villain?
>>29898580
>but I'm always drunk when I'm on /k/
Ah, the Hemingway writing method.
>>29899486
Society has always been fucked up peoples people are fucked up. We've never been able to create a perfect society, just less flawed ones.
>>29899507
I postulate the argument that society has never been fucked up, since that implies some objective ideal to compare society to.
>>29898070
Only if your entire measure of success is having anything with a slit between it's legs give you attention.
>>29898580
>I actually held a degree in a real field and they only posessed something in liberal arts.
>psychology and sociology
>>29899462
Sport fencing is basically electric tag and has very little to do with actual fencing. It's a tricky sport that takes a lot of skill, but it's a sport and not a martial art.
>>29899836
t. HEMA Larpers.
>>29899875
I was talking about kendo which actually is a martial art unlike sport fencing. Sport fencing about doing suicide attacks the fastest which is insanely stupid in a real fight and only serves the purpose of lighting a bulb.
>>29896710
"MOM! Let me borrow the laundry basket, I wanna impress bitches on Facebook!"
>>29896729
NAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>29896749
You're out of your mind. Will is dangerous to soda bottles and that's about it. No speed and his fat arms limit his range of motion.
>>29896807
>that blade pattern
>>29896480
i've always wondered what those pony wings would taste like fried in butter and cayenne pepper sauce. would they be like huge chicken wings or would they be more of a beefy/horsey taste.
>>29896807
"The Amish Autist"
>>29896729
"Sombrero Samurai"
>>29900721
>girl with Sephiroth Masamune/Muramasa(I dont remember which it is)
You KNOW she's into dragon dildos or something freaky, would gf 9/10.
>>29896352
That one from 2004 is acceptable since it's part of a cosplay outfit.
>>29898513
such disrespect for your own property. it saddens me.
>>29897872
yeah but it's the fact they feel the need to draw attention to that in case they accidentally "trigger" someone that's tumblr in a nutshell. it's also a vague view of the future if sjw's got their way, everyone afraid to talk casually, having to assess literally every syllable in order to make sure it offends no-one.
>>29897333
>I have often wondered if the influx of liberal cuck politics as of late coincides with the equal increase of divorced fatherless households as a cause or as a side effect.
I suspect it's a feedback loop at this point, but liberal politics was the prime mover. The single motherhood epidemic is due entirely to the current state of divorce and child support laws. If women were forced to marry a man to get his support for her children they'd do it.
>>29896674
The cover art for my Sam Tarly/Walda Frey fan fiction has been found!
>>29896430
He is kinda cute compared to most of the people on the blog.
Someone, please tell me what the fuck this thing is.
>>29897333
what if our dad died at an early age and we self taught ourselves things like rebuilding carburetors, top ends on dirt engines and guns?
>>29896553
>not Clogheart
>>29900955
Bulge, jaw, cringy clothing… XY Genotype human.
Still female though.
>>29896729
EL RONIN!
>>29900955
shes got a cute face, im a sucker for a pretty face. plus those wide hips. i'd give it a go.
>>29901015
Single mothers and widows are two completely separate things.
You can bitch about semantics if you want but the premise is one is single by choice or negligence, the other from misfortune.
>>29896553
I may be fat, but God damn it at least I'm trying in life.
>>29899836
Fencing doesn't pretend to be a martial art.
>>29901059
Are you me? The qt face almost makes up for the body, clothes, hair, and collar. Aint having a face fetish a son of a bitch?
>>29901141
It's a bunch of faggots hopping around on a line waggling flimsy metal rods at each other. That's pretty gay.
>>29901059
desu that face is pretty fuckable
>>29898513
This sounds fine. Now if you polished that chink sword and gave it a name..
>>29898513
>Man I'm glad that cell phone cameras and youtube weren't really a thing yet.
ive never done gay shit like that but we've all done really cringey things as teenagers. i agree with the above
>>29901252
>flimsy metal rods
The only reason fencers don't die is because of their jacket, and the fact that the blades aren't sharp. If an epee were properly sharp, you would die every single bout.
>>29898513
>burning some shitty stainless steel katana
Nothing of value was lost.
>>29898580
>posting better when drunk
Is it odd that I also find this is the case for me? I find that I seem to make more eloquent posts after a few drinks.
>>29896352
On a side note is there a name for the actual historic fencing that's done in plate armor?
>>29901348
Both fencers would die mostly. It's a stupid sport.
>>29896553
It's demoniusx!
the legend
>>29900784
>cosplay
>acceptable
Pick one.
>>29896807
It's like people are deliberately ignoring the Ifunny.co
>>29901419
It's derived from bouts of honor. It's not meant to be a martial art.
>>29901472
Bouts of honor was about making the other person bleed without bleeding yourself. If both do it's fairly inconclusive, sometimes they had a ranking system about which hit was more valuable than the other. They didn't measure miliseconds with electric sensors like they do these days.
>>29898447
Underrated
>>29901494
>sports evolve over time
NEWS AT 11
>>29901504
So it's a bastardization that has very little to do with the bouts you describe. It's completley impractical and stupid.
Might as well play Laser tag where the first hit wins and call that a gunfight.
>>29901436
>2016
>not dressing up like Taiwanese watercolor paintings
>>29896639
I gotta say... this guy actually shows very good form. I would say it's likely he's actually taken classes, and wields sword very well. It's only cringy because of how super fuck fat he is.
>>29901521
>sports don't always have a basis n reality
NEWS AT 11:30
AT 12:00 WE HAVE A SPECIAL ABOUT TRIGGERED AUTISTS
>>29901582
The triggered autist would be the guy spamming in caps lock. I'm just saying that the origin of the word "fence" literally derives from "defense". If you remove the aspect of defense then it's not really fencing anymore. Enjoy your waggling. I bet you're good at Nintendo Wii.
>>29896352
Is this like for the sake of having a compilation of intentionally cringey pictures, or did these people submit this stuff thinking they look cool?
>>29901258
fucking badass
>>29899884
>I was talking about kendo which actually is a martial art unlike sport fencing.
You're thinking of Kenjutsu. Kendo is to Kenjutsu what sport fencing is to HEMA.
When you insult a weebs wiafu
>>29901914
Is that a dwarf?
>>29898447
/thread
>>29899462
It is
>>29900775
Not necessarily a Masamune replica, isn't a two-handed Katana just called a daikatana?
But I agree, she's fuckable in my book and probably down for anal. secret uglier than my wife mistress 10/10
>>29900955
Cute face, horrible manly body, would not fuck or feudal-operate with.
Looks like a wall-hanger anyway.
>>29901258
Gandalf for Hanes
>>29901436
Have you seen the gear queer threads? Cosplay for /k/
>>29900721
Who is this sword swallower?
>>29900955
High test except the literally high test shoulders.
>>29902475
>>29902223
Your trap detection skills are failing you. The only sword you need to worry about is the one in her pants.
>>29902512
>trap detection
>The only sword you need to worry about is the one in her pants
>her pants
>her
conflict of intrest anon?
>>29896461
>>29903703
>>29903703
Wait, that's a shoop?
Holy shit; I always thought that was the original
>>29899897
muh sides
>>29900775
Masamune.
>>29896749
Agreed. I teach sword (eskrima) and fatboy's got pretty good form. I would bet a year's pay he'd assrape about 95% of /k/
>>29899462
It's a sport. Teaches bad habits if you're interested in actual martial use of a blade.
>>29899897
dead
>>29899884
Kendo's a sport, too. Funny story, I used to have a kendo guy in my eskrima class. He told me, in kendo, you shout out the target as you strike, like screaming "HEAD" or "HANDS" when you hit.
I was training him with padded sticks, so I told him to go ahead and do that if it made him comfortable. So we sparred a bit, him screaming, "head, hands, etc."
Suddenly, I screamed "BALLS!" and feigned a strike to the groin. He did a bow so fast he hit the ground and did a backwards somersault.
So, yeah, kendo's a sport. :D
>>29904344
I noticed that too. His cuts are clean and thorough in most of his videos and he keeps his eyes on target.
>>29901015
Nice baiku Anon.
Kawi 400?
I've got a Honda 250X
>>29904390
>if you're interested in actual martial use of a blade
But why? Why would anyone in their right mind use a sword for actual fighting when we have guns?
I mean, when you learn how to play basketball there isn't a debate about it has practical use in avoiding ritual sacrifice. That would be retarded.
>>29904592
Isn't it better to have a skill and not need it, than to need a skill and not have it?
>>29904592
Btw, basketball is actually a good sport for martial artists to crosstrain with. It teaches you to instantly redirect energy and movement at full speed.
What's wrong with swinging a sword around and thinking you're cool? It bothers no one.
This whole fad of making fun of sword neckbeards seems like it's created by emotionally insecure high school bullies frustrated that they couldn't follow their victims onto the Internet, where they're happily twirling Hanzo steel around and doing flourishy moves in front of cameras to try to forget the wedgies they were given.
>>29904592
>when we have guns?
Guns:
jam
run out of ammo
aren't everywhere you go
A man should have a passing familiarity with any weapon he may encounter.
/k/'s called "weapons", not "guns".
>>29896729
There can be only Juan!
>>29903703
my favorite dlc
>>29905352
because its highlander sword.
Got this at an auction for $25
>>29904592
Easy, cuz I was 14 and it seemed neat.
>>29900955
id fuck her?
>>29905284
When you have your gun, you shoot the enemy.
If you have no gun, and the enemy has a gun, you use your Fairbairn-Sykes.
If you have no gun, and the enemy has a knife, you use your Applegate-Fairbairn.
Will Fairbairn is the baddest motherfucker in the stabbing game.
>you will never get to wield a sword this big
>you will never dress this snazzy
>you will never be knee deep in young, wet pussy
>>29905284
....dude.... all those issues are operator level problems and be addressed by the individual and not the weapon. Pretty much, all issues you have with a weapon is, get gud skrub.
>>29901558
I know a weeb that took classes for his $2000 katana, he gets mad when i tell him if some walks into his house with a $100 hi-point hes fucked.
>>29908520
Fuck.
>>29901416
I may be mistaken, but I believe what you are looking for is Historical European Martial Arts or HEMA for short.
http://www.hemaalliance.com/
>>29901558
His form is okay, not good. If you want good form James Williams and his students have good form. Keith is uses too much arm movements and not enough hip movements.
>>29896729
>>29899897
チーズチップス
>>29896749
he's not going to fuck you, bro
get over it
>>29904344
>dat dank h3h3 fan art
>>29896821
Meth head weeaboo.
His rants is...it has to be a joke. No one is that retarded. That AR isn't fully automatic and its airshit
>>29904592
Why not?
Why does everything someone does have to have a practical application to a SHTF scenario?
I have the right to own weapons, from wood and stone clubs, to swords, to old black powder pistols, to modern day rifles.
Am I going to going to edc a sword over a pistol? No. But I like swords so I do fencing, mostly longsword or sword and buckler, as a personal interest
>>29902209
>isn't a two-handed Katana just called a daikatana
Katana are already two-handed weapons, a big katana is usually called a nodachi or odachi, daikatana ain't wrong in itself, just not really used.
>>29896674
Jesus Christ, Rob McElhenney got fat
>>29901032
Fucking kek
>>29896352
Any more pics of emo bottom boi?
>>29904485
nah my bikes also a 250, its a klx250s from 2006. runs like a champ for a decade old though.
>>29898070
im sorry you have to project anon
>>29905284
>>29905284
>In a world where gun powder stops working over night
>Fatty who has trained in the art of the sword for years decides its time to go outside and take his prize
>Immediately is stuck by an arrow
>Fatty falls and then is accosted by two guys with long homemade spears and stabbed to death
We already did this before. Swords might look cool in movies but in real warfare projectiles, long spears and numbers always win.
