>I couldn't join the army because if a drill sergeant yelled at me I would punch his lights out.
I do like that one
every damn time
>I'm too smart to follow orders
>how many people did you get to shoot?
>>29879444
I dont think i can join the army because i am not the best at talking and i think i might be slightly autistic. Like what do army men talk about in the field, do i have to talk other army people? Can i pretend to be a mute and still get in? I am 22 about to go to my first year of university, and i am planning on enlisting in my thirds year 1 year before i finish my degree. Or maybe i should enlist now idk, canadian army always takes ass long to get into anyway.
>>29879444
>I couldn't join the army because if a drill sergeant yelled at me I would punch his lights out.
Well that's a good reason. If your impulse control is so poor you'll assault someone for training you, you really don't belong in the military.
I just couldn't take orders, amyway do you want another coke?
>>29879478
If you can quote movie one liners/ the latest Internet video, and can say the word fuck 6 times in an eight word sentence, you'll be fine.
Because that's literally the extent of every Infantryman's vocabulary I the field
>>29879478
>Like what do army men talk about in the field
Serious
>Bro
What
>Come check out what Yardi is doing, hes making ants fight eachother over auger packets
Oh fuck off, assholes
>>29879444
D'aww, she's so cute. I could just put her in one of those front baby carriers and walk around with her on me all day.
>>29879511
>>29879507
I am doing nothing with my life atm, so would it be wise to enlist now or wait to get my degree and go the officer route? I feel by the time i graduate at 26 or 25 i would be to old to do anything significant.
>>29879478
Honestly?
Stupid fucking sports
Girls
Light teasing towards the gay dude,
Super gay grab ass towards each other
How many times someone with a crazy fanciful name like lamontray jakscoon or some shit can run real good with his handegg or throw the ball into the basketball ring
The gay dude jokingly (maybe heh) flirts back
More faggot sports
That's basically it. And in case you couldn't tell, I am the pole smoking faggot
>>29879532
Officer route is fine if you want everyone to fucking hate you.
>>29879532
You won't do anything significant when you join. I promise. Military doesn't magically give you purpose in life, it just changes the box you live in.
>"The military is for people too stupid to function in the real world."
>>29879485
Underrated
>>29879571
w2c holy shit lol
>>29879535
My favorite is when the gay guy gets treated straighter than the actual straight guys
>>can I pretend to be mute and still get in?
No. You have to be able to communicate, especially in a firefight.
>>29879571
Gruntwork is.
>>29879535
i play all the sports, but i do not like watching them. except for volleyball.
>>29879540
ye i even if i had a degree i think i would still prefer the enlisted route, but i am afraid that i would have a hard time going bk to school after 4 years in the army. So maybe i should wait to get my degree first. or do at least half my degree
>>29879558
i know, i see it as delaying life for a bit longer. but if i am going to join the army i would really like to see how far i can go. And i think i would love the lifestyle as far as a regulated day and not much thinking for myself for day to day stuff. Like i said, may be slightly autistic. I almost flunked the aptitude test first time round when i tried joining the army co op in highschool. But i think that was just nerves.
>>29879571
Its true
Most use it as a way of hiding out from the real world.
>>29879444
I'm out of the Army now but I remember when I joined I had a few weeks before I left for basic. The fucking shit people would tell me.
>Yeah I was gonna join I scored really high on the test and they wanted to make me an E7
>I was to willing so they didn't want me if you get my drift
>I'll punch someone who gets in muh face I'm to violent
>(insert long boring story about military here)
I fucking hate vets and almost vets so much.
ALMOST VETS hurr deee durrr yeah I almost joined give me a fucking medal.
Great fucking story, I almost drank a bunch of rocket fuel and took flight look at me.
>>29879593
Hand signs
>>29879601
you'll fail the psych exam at MEPS, don't worry
>>29879592
O god yea. They don't play grab ass with me at ALL, but they will be gay as FUCK with each other
>>29879608
Yeah, good fucking luck using hand signs when people aren't looking at you.
>>29879624
This is what bullet casings are for, i am sure i can find some bullet casings to throw at people to get their attention.
>>29879617
psych exam?
>>29879619
They're probably afraid it might actually mean something if they did anything that can be construed as flirty-gay with you.
Just work out and get fit like Fruity Rudy and make them confused about their feelings for you.
>>29879468
>Not enough
>>29879582
Zippo will do custom orders for nearly anything if you really want a meme on your meme lighter.
>>29879638
Lol I do okay, they are cool with me and everything, the biggest problem is them talking about sports all the time and i hate sports lol
That and developing crushes on straight guys, that is the worst :(
>>29879635
yes, psych exam. they want you to be completely honest in your interview
>protip: lie your fucking ass off
>>29879635
Holy fuck I'm a drop out and even I can tell hey dude fucking that way.
>>29879468
Had that happen when I was in basic.
>TI brought in guy that had been a sniper in Vietnam, had been buying fireworks at the guys store, talked about the military, turned out he had a couple bronze stars, etc
>guy comes in to help motivate us, finishes his speech, asks if there are any questions
>second or third guy "how many people did you kill?"
>everybody immediately cringes at him going full retard
>TI has to try and hold back from killing kid
>vietnam vet is slightly pissed also, but looks as though he gets that question too often
>"well i will say this: whenever i get into an altercation that gets me really fired up, i tell the person "i already have 26 reasons im going to hell, i can add a 27th"
>>29879772
That's a good line. I'm stealing it.
>>29879665
fuck off faggot. nobody wants to read the cringey fantasies about gay army sex of a 15 year old girl who got lost here on the way to tumblr
>>29879478
Honestly you can get by being quiet around your peers. It really depends on your job, combat arms guys and more "rah rah I am a real man even though I am a cook" will talk about sports, non-stop forever. If you are not devoted to sports like a religion and can support the claim that in fact YOUR team is the best due to statistics from when the Beatles just got popular you won't be able to engage in the conversation anyway. Jobs like communications will get into arguments about who would actually win between Superman and the Hulk. Shit like that. You can be quiet with those people. As long as you never really talk about someone behind their back you'll be well liked enough.
But you NEED to be able to communicate with your superiors. To show that you can get a mission done and done quickly, if you just never talk to anyone then you'll just wither on the vine and not progress and get kicked out.
>>29879876
100% DV of sodium right here.
>>29879772
He has no excuse to be angry about being asked if he's killed anyone if he uses it as a fucking cheesy one-liner.
>>29879882
i heard intel is all weeb faggots or magic the gathering nerds, i have very limited working knowledge of that. will i get left out?
>>29879444
>I couldn't join the army because if a drill sergeant yelled at me I would punch his lights out.
Are you a nigger because attacking someone for yelling at you isn't a civilized response.
>>29879920
Yes. They specifically don't let people who aren't weebs into intel.
You're thinking too much about it. Simple fact is they're people. They talk about things people outside the military talk about and the more technical your field is, the more nerdy the people are likely to be and thus their subjects as well.
>>29879876
Dude. In case you haven't been paying attention, I am the only fag around. I don't fuck with other milfags that shit will only get you into trouble
I couldn't join the army because frankly I'm too smart to be risked, the army is for the dregs of society who can't get their shit together so they go to boy scout camp and get paid for the rest of their life for spending a couple years guarding ammo or something.
>>29880023
i wish people that post this shit would post a profile pic. shit like this screams fedora
>>29879772
A former sniper DS said something similar when I went through
>some retard asks the question
>Response was: "it went up to the double digits, and if anyone else asks that again its going to go up"
>>29879919
You seem like the type of person that would ask that retarded question to a vet.
His response was most likely born from idiots always asking that question, and him saying that killing those people are not something he is proud of so people will understand they asked such a stupid question.
>>29879940
Jesus fine, post some dick pics and I'll rate em
>>29880081
>profile pic
>fedora memes in 2016
leave
>>29879772
>Sniper in Vietnam
>only 26 kills
Lol what a casual
>"I could never join the army, I'm not desperate to die"
>>29879444
>"If a zombie apocalypse or SHTF happens I'll come over to your place "
ask them what they'll bring me or how they'll help
>"I'll just bring you a sandwich"
"do you even have a gun?"
>no
happened to me the other day and almost couldn't believe it, but he is a COD playing slacker.
>>29879772
>>29880139
Wew, whoever asked the question was a naive moron, but responses like that aren't any more mature.
>>29879444
>>I couldn't join the army because if a drill sergeant yelled at me I would punch his lights out.
I actually knew someone who said this all the time. It was kind of funny because he was a giant pussy.
That being said, one of the reasons I never joined is because I didn't want to be yelled at. My dad could be pretty abusive to me as a kid and I can't stand being yelled at because of it. He would basically freak out, start yelling, and threaten to kill me over nothing, or randomly sometimes. Maybe it triggers some kind of PTSD or something. It freaks me out really bad and I kind of shut down. I figured having that reaction probably wouldn't be the best thing to happen at basic training.
>>29879605
The absolute worst people are pre-marines and boots. I remember in highschool the people who said they were going to go into marines. FUCKING EVERY OTHER WORD OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS was either "devil dog", "semper", or "fi".
And evidently they get even worse once they're actually marines.
>>29879468
>>29879772
Non military guy here, why is this a bad thing to ask?
I can't picture a situation where it'll be bad, unless they killed a farm of orphan kids with their orphan puppies.
>>29880169
>2016
>posting about how important or special you are
>anonymously
you're probably the same fag that posts "have fun dying for Israel " in the /meg/ threads
>>29879444
They don't actually have female drill sergeants and DIs training men now, do they? A drill instructor needs to someone you can fear and someone who at least SEEMS like they may have seen combat.
>>29880313
Please tell me you're trolling. Fucking CoD kids...
>>29880361
Firstly, I don't play games.
And no I'm not. Why is it a bad thing? I'm not against the military (although I would never join it since I'm no retard), but why would asking such a simple question be bad?
>>29880313
It's not.
>>29879444
I know this guy who really din't take anyones shit, like at fucking all, I remember one time he got into this massive brawl in a shoe shop over some bullshit like them bringing him wrong shoes, making him wait ages and then telling him to leave after he started yelling like fucking Tarzan, anyways he signed up for army and was like I won't take fucking shit, Ill fucking show them how its done etc etc while the rest of ware told him that army is about discipline and doing shit you dont want to do, so drill guy yelled at him and made him eat shit before getting punched in the face by fucking guy and he got kicked out. Thats the story, to this day the guy is talkign about how he was to fucking alpha for the army and how hes surprised that special forces recruiters haven't contacted him
>>29879571
but it is. you're basically leeching off of tax dollars because you don't want to move out of your parents house, get an apartment, get a job, and do shit yourself. the military basically does fucking everything for you. you follow orders literally the entire time.
>>29880153
No, it's a bad one-liner worthy of an Arfcom forum signature.
You can't get pissy about something you joke about yourself.
>>29880313
1. It's kind of childish. It makes it sound like you have a cartoonish understanding of military service.
2. Going off of number 1 here, most people have never shot someone, including most infantrymen. Even if they had, "confirmed kills" is not really a thing. Not the way you think is, anyway.
3. Asking this question makes it seem like you think killing people is fun and exciting. Many vets who have killed people, even enemies, aren't super bubbly about it.
>>29879772
>i already have 26 reasons im going to hell
That's a moronic way to put something if you want to be taken seriously.
>>29879444
>but it is. you're basically leeching off of tax dollars because you don't want to move out of your parents house, get an apartment, get a job, and do shit yourself. the military basically does fucking everything for you. you follow orders literally the entire time.
>>29880392
I bet you have loads of experience from your time in the military if you know exactly how it works
>>29879882
Wow what a gross over generalization. Fuck off, did you ever actually serve?
Infantry are some of the biggest fucking nerds.
>>29880394
So if most people haven't, which is obvious, then why is such a bad thing to ask?
It's not like I'm walking into VA hospital and asking everyone they're kills. Just a question that will come up with a vet.
>>29879444
I could never enlist because I couldn't commit to not having control over the next four years of my life.
>implying you have that much control anyway
Yeah I know, but at least with a normal job you have that feeling of security knowing that you can quit if you really need to. You can get out of the military if you really want, too, but everyone you know is going to ask questions and it would be too humiliating.
>>29880418
>he's just not getting this through his thick skull
First of all, if the guy DIDN'T kill anyone, your question is posed in such a way that it sounds like you think less of him.
Think about it: why would you ask "how many confirmed kills ya got?"
The implication is that you're basically saying "impress me". Which is stupid for two reasons. One, it seems like you're saying he's less of a soldier if he happened to never be in a position to kill someone. Two, if he DID kill people, who wasn't doing it to impress you. We're talking a killing another human being (no matter whether they deserved it or not). You're cheapening the most brutal part of human conflict into a stat like you would with COD.
"Hey, what's your k/d spread, man?"
If you still don't understand, just do yourself a favor and don't ask that question. Definitely not in person. You'll look like a fucking idiot and the guy you're talking to will either hate you or mock you by making some bullshit answer up.
>>29880313
I've never killed anyone in my life, but I would assume unless you're a fucking psychopath, it's not the best thing to talk about.
>>29879619
Grabassing with you might be considered sexual harassment.
It might not bother you or the guy grabbing your ass, but it might bother a third party observing it. It only needs to be perceived as harassment to be charged as such.
>>29879535
>hating sports
found the faggot
>>29880513
>>29880506
A simple yes or no question. I'm not asking you to kill someone.
Why would he be less of a soldier? He's still a solider, but it's just I wanted to know if he killed someone or now.
Again, COD is for fagggots along with /v/.
>>29880393
He didnt joke about it. If you go back and reread the original post, i said when somebody pisses him off really badly, he will threaten to kill them.
He didnt laugh, smile, or seem amused at his line, just sadly stating a fact.
>>29880590
He uses it as a one liner to show how badass he is to strangers.
Nothing can change that fact.
>>29880392
>leeching off of tax dollars
Daily reminder that base pay in the military is taxed just like any other job.
>>29879619
yea because they're afraid you'll take it too seriously and go too far you faggot
>>29880023
wait.. too smart to be risked by who?
the country? society? humanity?
so what do you contribute to the rest of us that makes you too precious for us too risk?
>>29880604
I didnt even realise you were there with us and saw him speak and experienced it first hand.
Your assumption is wrong, just stop.
>>29880221
>"If a zombie apocalypse or SHTF happens I'll come over to your place "
Your response needs to be more enthusiastic.
>"Great! Bring work clothes for a week, camping gear, tools, and all your food. I was hoping I could get some help with this stuff."
>"In the meantime, lets get started on your training. Meet me at the range at 8AM Saturday. Bring what you got, or cash for ammo".
They'll either shut up and leave you alone, or you just got a new range buddy.
>>29880392
You're also describing college kids. Either way, it's 4 or 6 years of dodging life while finishing growing up. It's also a learning process. An 11B and a Sociology major both move on into the world facing similar challenges.
My dad was with the army back in the 70's~80's.
>tfw too young to join army in that glorious era
>tfw not being trained to fight the evil Russians
>tfw you aren't allowed to take service rifle with you home anymore
>tfw we got rid of the FN-FAL in favor of a M16 clone from Canuckistan
I doubt that I'm fit for the army anyway. The pay is probably lousy as well after the defense cuts.
>>29880354
I think the US army changed that after some senator son was bitching about it.
Shame too because I wouldn't mind having Lee Ermy as my DI.
>>29880392
It is if you take an mos with a low asvab requitement. If you're infantry right now it's basically daycare.
>>29880741
>senator son
>it ain't me starts playing
>>29880304
My godfather's average speed is full motard, it annoyd the fuck out of me as long as I can remember
He's probably what convinced me to join the Army instead of the Marine Corps to be truthful, I figure a branch full of motards would be fucking awful
>join the army partly to kill people
>never do
>get asked how many people i killed
>only mad about it because its a reminder that i joined too late
>>29880806
It's basically managing a daycare desu
My entire fucking unit is retarded and it kills me inside, it fucking hurts me to know I was just as stupid as the BNPs when I got here
>>29880583
>being this dense
Did you fail reading comprehension or something?
>>29879571
Generally true, for the 19d world. the second they get that first check they drink it away and buy a $40,000 truck or mustang that will keep them in debt. They'll knock up 4 strippers, now their entire paycheck goes to alimony while still being in debt for the truck that their dumbass took mudding and totalled.
People like this (a large portion of enlisted) are literally free slave labor. Even funnier when they love their job.
>>29879478
>slightly
Ok then
>>29880849
So did you kill anyone or not?
>>29881105
killed ur mum's puss m8
>>29879666
Thanks for the advice satan.
>>29881125
SHIEEEEEEEEEEET
>>29880341
Responding to the topic of the fucking thread welfare baby. Stay a slave.
>>29881127
>>29881379
its funny because the topic is making fun of fucks like you. go ahead, give us some more gold
>>29879540
Enlisted Mexicans, niggers and white trash isn't "everyone".
No one cares if pic related is upset.
>>29881403
lel
>>29879532
>Canadian military
>do anything significant
That's adorable.
>>29880394
>voluntarily enlists in the military
>doesn't enjoy killing people
>>29881419
>wahh why don't they respect my dropout ass for making poor decisions then being whipped like a redheaded stepchild until I can take orders
I remain laughing, you can enjoy my opinion as much as you like, you've already got your hands in my pocket.
>Wanted to enlist
>was fit, motivated, had good grades and just did good overall
>can't because not a citizen, nor resident, just here on some other visa.
I really did want to serve, but now everyone thinks I'm a poser wannabe faggot because I know some military shit. It's worse because I got in a car accident (not my doing, I was an unlucky passenger), and was bedridden for 3 months. I kinda just shut down during then and got fat, and sport a neckbeard. I want to change, but shit just feels futile now.
/blog
>>29881403
Hell yeah, I'm going to rewatch this movie now.
>>29881541
you just did, senpai
Honestly, I think having a short little (female) DS yell at me would turn me on.
>>29881606
No it wouldn't, the screeching just makes your head hurt.
T: Finn who had a female NCO
>>29880394
Would it be better to ask "How much pussy did you get?", because that is fun and exciting.
>>29881856
>you served in Vietnam? wow, how many gook whore you bang?
>>29879484
>+1 internet
>>29879619
>implying I don't pinch the gay dude's nipples all the time
But no homo tho.
>>29880288
you'd either fail or you'd have it permanently trained out of you by being forced to action and not being allowed to close down. that environment only allows those two options. the question is really is it worth it finding out and is it worth the potential trauma. only you can answer that question.
alternatively you could just beat up your dad. that will also probably work.
>>29880313
It's not dude. Most people in the military demand some sort of respect like they deserve it. I always ask vets, "so how's it feel to be a murderer? How many people have you killed? How exactly does going into a foreign country and shooting the natives there protect my freedoms? How does it feel to be apart of the generation that sees Americas decline you murdering piece of shit?"
I always say shit like this to them. Fuck the military and fuck the vets. They're a bunch of whiney faggots who cry foul when they are literally going to hell if there is one. The only people who find the military appealing are white trash and your typical spic/nigger
>>29882036
My first weeks of boot camp was rough, I didnt shave for a 4am watch and the DI came in the morning and from their on I was on their shit list.
But I was smart, I turned into a robot. The first and last thing out of my mouth was their rank. Which you dont even do in the navy. I played the role of the puppet and things got easier for me.
The attention died off so I started selling cookies to fat kids, ironing shirts for $20 and standing watch for $. I walked away with like $200 that I spent on a trip to Chicago.
>actually getting butthurt by people asking how many people you killed
Why not just answer and not be a trigglypuff?
>>29879444
>>29882036
That's some weak b8.
>>29882053
Being a butthurt faggot is 90% of the perks one gets from being in the miltary.
>>29879772
Lel, only 26 kills in his entire life, I've gotten more than that in a single Call of Duty match.
>>29881856
Ask this to any navy vet and he'll have a few stories to tell
Navy guys fuck more asian whores than anyone else
>>29881438
the looks on those old peoples faces in the back lol
>tfw blood disease
>tfw not even good enough to die for a living
>>29882036
This. I chuckle ever time I heard a about a dead amerifat who goes off to some desert to murder and get murdered for "freedom" . America makes war and we're all paying for it. When the Chinese or Russia invade and kill your men, rape your women and orphan your children, I'll pop open a beer and enjoy the show. FUCK THE USA
>>29879444
>>29881465
They do well as target practice for A-10's.
>>29882036
>all military personnel see combat
>all military personnel went to a shitty desert
I mean, those questions don't really apply to a POG or some faggot on a ship somewhere, don't they?
>>29882036
Good idea, let's just get rid of the military then. Surely everything will get better without any national defense.
>>29882036
>I always say shit like this to them.
You don't, keyboard warrior.
>>29882475
dude, you fell for it. best thing to do is ignore the edgelord fedoras that pop up in every military thread
now that you gave him a (You), he's going to spout on about our Jewish overlords and call us welfare queens and cucks
>>29882245
I wonder who's behind this post...
>>29881438
That is so cute omg
>Pampered liberal faggot mincing away as a barista claims the military is all stupid cavemen who leech off taxpayers while he demands gov funding for brown people, yet still can't look you in the eye when confronted
>Mouthy little fuck brags about being to independent to take drill sgt smoking without realizing it tests your conduct under stress and poor conditions so you don't curl up and cry when being mortared
>The brainwashed west point faggot who will happily fuck over everyone under him just for a chance at promotion while being the usual dogshit you can expect from today's officer class
>The dependapotumus military wife who's too much of a fucking stupid animal to wait for her husband risking life and limb before letting miles of black dick ruin her holes and then demand a divorce taking everything
>The people who put ketchup on their steak
>>29882879
>The people who put ketchup on their steak
who the FUCK does that and why are they not hunted down and killed?
also, I love the "duude, you're just fighting for like, rothschild and shit, man. the military is a total scam bro" or
"we don't need the army, if we want peace we just shouldn't have one, that way the world knows we have no bad intentions"
I always have to remind myself that its not worth the jail time
>>29882879
>>29882900
I have this recurring fantasy where I go into the finest steakhouse in town, order the most expensive steak, and then ask for well done, with some ketchup.
>>29881518
You're delicious. Do you use that little spiel to pick up coeds in your gender studies class?
>>29882911
>
lol'd
>>29879444
I didn't join the Army, I joined the Marines.
And if that Drill Sargent has a problem I'll snap that bitch into reality. Your on my time now..
>>29879619
Yeah, not yea.
>>29883213
>And if that Drill Sargent has a problem I'll snap that bitch into reality.
Vid related is you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bYiLol6XbE
>>29883213
>marines
>drill "sargent"
>not drill instructor
>can't spell sergeant
>thinking they could ever fuck with a DS/DI
confirmed for not being innamilitary
>>29883288
why do DS/DIs always stand to the side of recruits?
wouldn't looking them in the eyes be more terrifying?
>>29883288
Not at all
That's some Drill Sergeant punking some boot.
A Drill Instructor is what I had. That Army DS was fat as fuck TOP LOL.
>>29882879
>The people who put ketchup on their steak
DON'T MAKE SHIT UP MAN
THAT'S SICK
>>29883316
Nice theory. See
>>29883324
Maybe learn to read while at it.
>>29880813
No. Figuratively no one who's been in the fleet for more than a year is a motard.
>>29879444
no, you wouldn't.
they eat people like you for the eduction of the other troops.
remember, if you have to tell everyone you're a badass,
you're not a badass.
>>29883324
The boot had it coming though.
>>29879605
>>I was to willing so they didn't want me if you get my drift
That's actually a valid reason. If you go to your recruiter high of your tits on patrotism and ranting about killing sandniggers, they'll politely reject you before you fulfill your dream of taking a fifty cal and blasting everyone away at Bagram.
>>29882011
Kek
>>29880379
>>29879468
all of them
>>29883359
Stupid is as stupid does, Forest.
That Army Drill Sarge is still fat.
Semper Fry's?
>>29883358
He might, and then get his ass beat and wash out.
There are plenty of people dumb enough to pick a fight they'll lose.
>>29879444
Army is a fucking joke, even with a male drill instructor
>>29880379
>although I would never join it since I'm no retard
Piss off with that shit you're another one of those too smart to die kids aren't you? Fuck off not everyone in the military is a GI with an IQ lower than 50. There's brilliant engineers, intelligence officers, operators of complex machinery. Stop baseing reality off what you see in movies.
>>29883475
Yut
Philly Firefighter here, I was in the academy a few years back. Very militaristic, yelled at every day, on our faces in the rain, snow, sleet, full gear, all that shit. I'm not gonna boast, but I can relate to you military fags with friend and family that say:
>I can't do it because I have a problem with authority and would talk back to the Lt.'s and Captains.
I don't understand, you are there to learn a job, a job where your normal day is a stressful as fuck environment. The only way to train you in that environment short of putting you in a real life situation is to take you out of your comfort zone.
>>29880379
> hurr hurr only retards join the military
spoken like a fat piece of shit POG whose never served or humped a pack a day in your life
>>29883475
marines are cool if all you want to be is a marine. I don't think they know how to adapt to life in the civilian world afterwards though.
>>29883475
are you mad that you didn't get to kill a dragon with a sword?
>>29883518
Say that to my fucking face bitch.
I don't know how to adjust? Come into my house let's talk. Ratttatatataat. Castle Doctrine.
>>29883559
kek, nice
link very related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7GD5X07chI
>>29880313
There isn't a good answer to that question. You're instantly putting someone you ask that question in a really fucking bad position, especially if you're not alone.
Either it's yes, and you're dealing with a dangerous murderer who's probably unstable, too.
Or no, and they did fuckall in the army and served for nothing. Or are lying, then square one.
Either way, if you're that eager, make a friend, buy the man drinks and eventually drop the question after a couple months of warming up, if he doesn't tell you yourself.
And if the man doesn't want your company, well you're more than welcome to go fuck yourself.
>>29880410
Serve?
You fucking retard. Since 2001 you yanks are like a brainwashed waterdowned faggot fetish fantasy for dumasses on minimum wage in uniform.
Get a fucking life.
Ex 40+ close combat vet speaking.
>>29883574
It got a little weird.
But I'd totally walk around in a robe dick hanging out and bragging about how I personally invented America.
>>29883482
>>29883509
So everyone in the military is a genius? Cool story bro
I lost my sense of smell when I was a teenager. Is that a real risk as an infantryman? I know it's on the medical preenlistment questionnaire, but in the last five years, its only come up when I bring it up myself, since I know how to clean myself.
You don't have to identify explosives by smell or bullshit like that, do you?
>>29883730
You sure you ain't got one of them brain tumors or something?
>>29883752
Nah, burned it out in the chemistry lab. Nitric acid and gold is a bitch.
>>29883730
I'm a former 0311 and what the fuck. You legitimately made a 30 year old man chuckle.
No you asshat just don't admit anything.
>>29883760
You're all set then.
In my country you'd just slip a bill to the good doctor if he found out.
>>29883765
>sniff sniff
>yup, that's semtex
Quite being faggots, every enemy combatant killed is one less enemy combatant that can kill you. There is nothing wrong with killing fucking terrorists. They aren't people, they are monsters. So if you ever end up taking one out you should be proud. Also if someone can't take being yelled at then they are a gigantic pussy who wouldn't be useful anyways. They could be the biggest guy in the world. But if they aren't tough mentally they will fold when other people need them the most.
>>29883800
>sarge, i smell almonds!
>SEEK COVER! THERE'S C4 AROUND HERE
>>29883868
>now I don't want to alarm you boys
>but there might be an arty strike a-brewing
>>29883730
>smell out explosives
You just kick them or walk around.
>>29883879
>smells like jihad out here
>>29880653
Late reply but he's noguns and noskills thinking I'd let him borrow a gun.
Plus I hate him anyway
>>29883904
>sniffing out suicide bombers
>specially trained marine sniffers at brass gatherings and president speeches
>>29883936
>oh this one? that's the presidential smellmanship medal
>>29883936
>>29883904
>>29883896
>>29883879
>>29883868
>>29883800
>>29883792
>>29883985
Alright guys, thanks. I'll stop using it as an excuse to put off enlisting, just don't make fun of me anymore...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVLF2gYnTHw
>>29883730
nah, but you don't get to go "I love the smell of napalm in the morning", which kinda sucks
>>29883985
>11S "Bloodhound"
>decorated for exceptional smell under fire
>>29883996
>i woulda joined up, but doc told me i was smellblind
>told me I'd never smell another day in my life
>>29883730
>be you
>at meps, being examined
>dr tells you to spread your cheeks, fart slightly
>"god damnit son, that shit is horrid!"
>"what? I dont smell anything!"
>dr immediately disqualifies you for service
>>29884040
>I'm the guy that grades the k9s on accelerant identification
>>29884061
>smelling out which turbans are combatants by the gunpowder
>years later, "I ain't got the nose for a civilian life"
>>29884111
>what was it like, grandpa?
>war is smell
>>29879624
This.
>>29879635
You're retarded, don't join.
>>29879535
>>29879940
Is there really a fucking fag in every unit? Why in the fuck do they tolerate that shit?
Looks like I'm not joining after all
>>29879444
>I didn't join the military because no one tells me what to do.
Heard that from my cousin. He still lived with his mom when he said that she ordered him around all the time...
>>29884468
lots of gays were going navy when i was at MEPS, not even memeing. my roommate there was queer as fuck and kept saying he couldn't wait to get on a submarine
>>29879444
Holy fuck where did you find that OP?
I swear thats a picture of me from BCT holy shit. Same Drill too
>>29882051
You iron clothes in Navy BCT?
also
How hard is Navy BCT and Navy life?
>>29880304
This is actually the reason I didn't join the marines. The other branches didn't want a dude with a plate and 12 screws in his leg, whereas the Marines basically just said "pass the physical and your good to go."
But the other dudes who were wanting to join up just downright ruined it for me.
The sad part is they aren't even as bad as those guys who are all about the navy cuz I wants to b a seowl
>>29882879
>>The brainwashed west point faggot who will happily fuck over everyone under him just for a chance at promotion while being the usual dogshit you can expect from today's officer class
Elaborate? Why do people hate officers so much?
>>29883475
I always wonder if modern greeks ever get mad about shit like this
MFW this gets more replies in an hour than /meg/ does
>>29879444
Does that woman need to be particularly careful in order to avoid not getting accidentally stepped on? Because she's a womanlet. I suspect she would fit in my pocket with a little wiggle room to spare.
>>29884886
or that never served thread
>>29884831
here's why.
they didn't work for the position the same way everyone else did.
sure, west point can be challenging. not denying that.
but, it is a fuck of a lot easier than clawing your way up the ladder, through combat, shitty NCOs, all of that.
and then that college boy fuck, who has never been in the shit in his life, wants to come in, acting like king big dick of infantry mountain and boss around everyone?
fuck no.
and they will blue falcon your ass so fast to get a promotion it will make your goddamn head spin.
>>29884831
They're in charge, therefore everything is their fault.
>>29884639
Boot camp is easy just make sure you can run and swim in the alloted time. Navy life, for me was awsome. I started hating fixing airplanes after a while. But walking around the hangar and seeing 30 year old airplanes and looking up their history was cool.
1 of them
>Planes go to the blue angels to die cause of the little amount of life in them
>Plane goes back and forth like 2 times between my squadron and the blue angels
>Fuel it up on its last flight to the boneyard
2.
>One plane that was involved in a friendly fire incident during training the middle east
>Plane always had something wrong with.
3.
>Fixed an airplane before I got out
>4 months later it crashes into an apartment building in virginia beach.
4.
>Rookie pilot trys to land
>Lands wide and goes full afterburner to takeoff again
>Goes off runway
>Pilot ejects
>Hits power junction boxs still going full after burner
>Plane is fucked up like really fucked up but not enough to get totaled
>It gets repaired
>>29881438
God damn fuzzy.
>>29882245
>America makes war
>since America saved* Europe and Asia in WWII, most of the world has experienced it's most peaceful period
*We supported the wrong side and should have made it clear early to the rest of the Euros that we were backing Germany and they should just fall in line before we lay them in a line.
Now the white race will dwindle and die.
>>29885465
what
>>29885465
>he thinks the demographic-economic paradox is limited to whites
>>29879920
You're assuming that building friendships within your peer group is important to your career when that couldn't be further from the truth. If you want to do four years and then bounce, just keep your head down and stay under everyone's radar. If you want to make it a career, suck up to your leaders, go out of your way to do the bitch-work that your peers aren't doing, volunteer for everything, and maybe fuck something up (intentionally) when you first get to your unit, then act really sorry, "come to Jesus," and then do your best from then on. Leaders always have a hard-on for rebound stories.
>>29885788
damn
>>29879876
>>29883651
>you yanks
Go back to your mudslime-infested commieland you fucking eurofag
>>29883475
the only similarity between Marines and Spartans is pederasty :^)
>>29884918
There are classes on all of these subjects. Fucking over enlisted, how to take credit for NCO accomplishments, bossing around everyone: your inner king big dick. All graduates are also required to take a blood oath over a slaughtered goat while simulating rape on a picture of Coretta Scott King and swearing to help no career nor save the life of a non-white, non-male, or non-commissioned person.
>>29883910
>he's noguns and noskills
The idiots who say that retarded shit usually are. That's why you make it clear that he's coming in as an entry level laborer. If he's married, tell him his wife will be expected to provide comfort and morale services.
He's an adult, he should know TANSTAAFL.
>he can't handle MTIs
Fucking kek.
Bmt is a joke
>>29882245
You seem a bit assmad, friend. Is it because the worst parts of US culture are supplanting your culture? Does it make you rage to hear schoolchildren singing McDonald's jingles? Or when high school girls watch Miley Cyrus videos on their iPhones?
Did you know that most 10 year olds in your country are learning how to speak American English from the internet?
We don't intend to trample local cultures, it's just a side effect of our culture. We're just more robust than you.
And that's why Russia and China will never invade us. We're culturally infusing both countries, in order to secure our future. They're becoming more like us every day, and more dependent upon our good will. They're like stepchildren who don't want daddy to get pissed off. They're at that rebellious age, but we all know that they'll do anything to keep daddy happy.
So, hope this helped, bro! Drop by some time, we'll have some brews.
>>29887134
Are you in tech school or does your AFSC not have a function badge?
>>29879444
Someone yelled at me wahh I need to cause physical pain to them so they feel as bad as I do because I am a soft cunt.
>I just never had any desire to be in the military.
>>29879478
>Can i pretend to be a mute
go ahead and try that
Only fascists join the military.
>>29879592
>>29879619
The marine corps is the most homoerotic heterosexual group of people I've ever been among. Shit's funny.
>>29880813
>>29884819
See >>29883344
>>29887408
So edgy
>>29880394
You obviously weren't in the military, because I was and confirmed kills are a real thing. I had 13, but I believe I have killed as many as 40 hajis.
>>29887293
You're either some degree of American, or an ass backwards, goat-fucking savage.
>>29885514
It is only whites that are having their countries flooded with fucking foreigners
Where the political mainstream is "Whites will be extinct soon and thats good"
>yeah i could give up smoking weed easily enough but i know if someone yelled at me id just snap man haha
>>29882025
>>29880288
This is a standard reaction to abuse.
Basic would likely act as very effective exposure therapy if you can avoid being separated early.
>>29886180
Well neither got to kill dragons with their swords.
>>29881522
It never too late to change senpai. Hardest part about the gym is the front door, after that it's all easy. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. That means today. Today is this day you just do it. What are you waiting for???
P.s. I believe in you, please keep us updated In a /fit/ progress thread?
I couldn't enlist because I'm terribly out of shape
I'm trying to get back into working out, but I'm just so busy between work, school, and other hobbies that I don't have the time
>>29880221
Not military, but if I ever tell anyone I own guns that's usually the response I get.
>wow guns are like super expensive right?
Yeah, it's my money.
>what does your family think?
We don't talk about it
>wow do you think the government is like watching you
Not much I can do about it if they are
>you think they're gonna take your guns?
No
>why do you need that many
Because I like having them
>but WHY do you NEED that many
I don't know, why do you care
>are you a prepper or something?
No, I just like guns
>can you take me shooting?
Sure, when you buy your own gun
>do you sleep with a gun next to you?
That's none of your business
>I'm sure it's pretty hard to find a girl because you have a lot of guns
Not really. I dont make a point to bring it up
The battery of stupid questions goes on forever
I didn't enlist because I figured out I'd be exactly where I am right now six years later if I did.
>>29879444
>I couldn't join the army because if a drill sergeant yelled at me I would break down and cry
;_;
>>29888299
>implying that has stopped anyone from graduating
as long as you aren't king pussy you can get away with crying a few times.
>>29888319
I'm not a grill though i'd get made fun of.
>>29884225
I can't stop fucking laughing
>>29883316
>why do DS/DIs always stand to the side of recruits? wouldn't looking them in the eyes be more terrifying?
It's to try and get them move thus leading to more yelling.
>WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL THIS RECRUIT
>I DON"T KNOW SERGEANT
>DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO MOVE RECRUIT
>NO SERGEANT
>"Private I'm going to rape you in front of all the other recruits now bend over!"
Wat do?
>>29888299
We had people break down cry during rookies, one girl did regularly enough that people stopped caring after awhile. Only annoying part was during field face when during a bout of leopard crawling she broke down crying and refused to go any further meaning the rest of her section had to stretcher drag her the rest of the way.
>>29888430
Ask him if he has the goddamn common courtesy to give you a reacharound
>>29879571
depend, there is that undercoat of retards who stay in the low ranks (very few manage to grow rank a little) but there is excellent people who are just here because they love their job (sometime the retards manage to make them hate what they do and quit )
There is even overqualified people doing low rank job but who aspire to get higher at long term.
Britbong here
The only reason i can't join the Air Force, even though i hate Autismo, Tourettes and ADHD
is because of my fucking hayfever
>>29888719
*even though i HAVE Autismo Tourettes and ADHD
>>29880023
Become a nuke with the navy then smarty pants. 100k bonus if you sign back on after your first tour.
>>29880558
Sherlock Holmes plz
He literally calls himself a fag.
>>29881438
Why an Apple store?
>>29888742
People suggesting nuke to anybody obviously haven't seen what the program does to people. The Skipjack Dive Team would like a word with you.
>>29888188
>>29883546
Proof that you are not a Marine.
In the crucible we had to fight a lava monster, not a dragon.
>>29888774
>place where gays congregate
>large numbers of cell phones
>large numbers of people connected to social media
>high chance of going viral
nothing about that incident was accidental or spontaneous
>>29879444
>BraZZers
