Things the guns in your collection would say about each other.
>>29862212
I keep my Walther and my Jericho 941 on opposite side of the safe for a reason.
>>29862246
I need to do that.
My Tavor, is laying on the bed next to my Mauser 98k.
>Ach, I cannot believe mien kapitän got you a hard case before me. I am a valuable historical rifle und you... you are polymer.
Mauser says with a sneer.
>Heh, not my fault I'm the boss' favorite.
Tavor replies with a grin.
>Ha, give me a few weeks and I vill get the kapitän to see through your juden tricks.
Mauser counters with a wolfish grin.
>Watch it you, old hag of bolt action.
Tavor growls out.
>At least I am a mature voman and not a rough housing tomboy.
Mauser replies with a glare.
Both of the girls glare at each other.
Knock it off or you're both going in the back of the safe for a long time.
>SHE STARTED IT!
>SHE STARTED IT!
And I'll finish it. So both of you shut up!
>CZ75
>Mosin Nagant
>Quiet chatter in Russian that sounds vaguely like complaints about the cat sleeping on them
My Trapdoor Springfield to all of my Other guns
>Back in my day we didnt have your fancy smokeless powder and fancy shmancy box magazines
My M1 and M1903s to the Trapdoor
>Okay Grandpa, we know you tell us that all the time
>I FOUGHT THE INJINS BY GUM
My SMLE
>MY WORD IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO GET SOME PEACE AND QUITE HERE? I wish I was back in New Zealand
>>29862212
My Ruger New Vaquero
>Anon, when we gonna kill us some injuns?!?!
My Garand
>Time to slap a jap and kill some krauts.
My AR15
>Kill all the gooks and hajis let god sort em out.
My AK and SKS
>Is time to remove Kebab, comrade?!?!
>>29862569
>Ruger Vaquero
>Killin Injuns
It should be
>Anon, when are we gunna shoot cans and pretend they are Injuns on the TV
>>29862569
>>Time to slap a jap and kill some krauts.
fucking kek
>>29862348
This was autistic and you messed up the dialogue between the guns.
M48 mauser and M77 Zastava chatter in Serbian about kebabs
Sig tries in vain to converse with bewildered Polish sidearms
Winchester and Remington are screaming at each other again
1911-22 and 10/22 are yelling at each other over who gets my last few boxes of ammo.
all my new 1911s are talking about killing japs when the garand in the back is laughing because they are totally bullshitting
hi-point i still have for some reason is crying in the corner
mossberg 500, 25-06 and 30-0 are all screaming at each other about who is the best gun for hunting.
ar is sleeping because she knows shes my favorite no matter what the other ones say
>>29862707
>This was autistic
No shit you dumb faggot you are on 4chan
" , "
>Hi power
Holy fuck clean me for once jesus I feel like Big Bubba's buttwipe
>Semi-Auto C7
Sweet shit, Can I shoot yet?,Can I shoot yet?,
Can I shoot yet?,Can I shoot yet?,Can I shoot yet?,
Can I shoot yet?,Can I shoot yet?,Can I shoot yet?,
I'm going to shoot now
>AR-7
Please let me out of this prison
>AR-180b
Does this scope make my butt look fat?
>VZ.58
My barrel is longer than the Oklahoma panhandle
>Winchester 9410.
I AM AN ABOMINATION OF BALLISTICS
>Pellet rifle
Woowee just like cowa dooty!
Enfields and their bastard cousin M1917 mutter about the good old days of killing jerry.
FAL keeps singing Rhodesian songs
Montgomery Ward Hercules goes on about killing jungle bunnies
AR is a honey badger and doesn't give a shit
Converted saiga pretends it's a real AK and tells made up war stories about removing kebab
>>29862712
>Winchester and Remington are screaming at each other again
I feel like that would happen every damn day
Sig P229
>I am a legitimate caliber. Just like you!
Ruger S&P
>You are not even a revolver!
The 1918 SMLE tells the No1 mk4 (1955) stories from the world wars.
The Marlin 1894 wonders when I'll actually buy another .41 mag box to shoot with.
The Cz452 and Cz75 both snicker at the 91/30 thats still covered in cosmoline over a year after I bought it.
I wonder what an Israeli K98k would be like
>>29864594
>Israeli 98k
I'm leaning towards the idea of schizophrenia.
>>29862212
>Mosin Nagant
>M1 Garand
Endless US vs. Russia shitposting.
>>29864685
It would whisper like Ripley in alien resurrection " killl meee"
>>29864685
Abradolf Lincler in gun form.
>>29862212
AR15 and m16a4 clone.
>lol why do you still have those aks? They can't even handle a little mud.
>Communist pieces of shit are outdated, while we still have a strong aftermarket.
>Hey AKM, how does it feel to be used by subhuman sandniggers, The golden horde's rape victim's offspring and every other piece of shit 3rd world military.
AKM build, AK74 build
>DI, XAXAXAXAXA shitting where you eat huh. How american of you.
>You're president had to ban our country's imports because he's scared of us XAXAXAXAXA
>You're basic configuration is so shitty that aftermarket parts are necessary just to keep you useful XAXAXAXAXA
VZ58
>These fuckers don't know about my stripper clips.
>Fucking plebs, I have mags and clips
>Clips.
>Austrian Custom .410 double barrel
Get me out and shoot me burgerfat your cat kills more squirrels than I do.
>Soon to be sold AK
Am going to good home. He will shoot me more than you. You use monies to buys filthy plastic triangle shotgun and for that I never forgive.
>Henry Golden Boy 22 mag
Ya'll are some squabbling little varmints I tell you what.
>Glock 20
If any one of you fuckers says meme one more time I swear to god I will kill us all
Ruger sr1911
>Man, our owner can't hit dick with me.
Sig p938
>Yeah, me neither, and I think he might be autistic.
>Where'd the shotgun go?
over the usual arguing between the Sks and the Hi-power about which one is antiquated and my buck-mark drooling like a savant, cause he the only one with reliable sights
Also complaining about being in a pelican case instead of the safe, which got stolen with the shotgun
hi-power
>I can't believe this kid is trying to feed me steel core! What do I look like, a Makarov?!
Sks
>Ayy! I 'ad a Makarov comrade! He fought for da motherland!
>In what conflict pinko? Youve seen about as much combat as Bucky here!
Buckmark
Guys, come on! Master might hear us!
>And do what? The kid cant hit a barn with us
>Da, ist pathetic
>Well maybe he'd be able to aim better if he could actually use your sights...
>What'd you just say shitbag?
>nothing sir! Oh, I wish Herr Anschutz was here...
>Your fairy boyfriend isnt coming Bucky!
>Da, he is nyet good
>>29865040
>they stole the safe and shotgun inside it
How?
>God dammit, you useless autistic sack of shit. Get more guns. I'm lonely in here
>>29865136
they broke in and carted it off cause it wasnt bolted down
>>29865739
>didn't bolt down the safe
Damn it anon
>>29862212
[muffled AAAANNUUUU from gun safe{
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4mHPeMGTJM
>>29864846
>a4 clone
>not a1 or a2 clone
who put you on the planet
>>29864918
>If any one of you fuckers says meme one more time I swear to god I will kill us all
so then they do blow up?
fucking meme glocks
>>29862348
that hurt my soul please dont post here ever again
It's actually kind of sad if you personify then. I loved my xdm. But as time passed I grew apart from it and started to buy other handguns. One day I stopped shooting and fondling it all together. It shared a safe with the gun that replaced it. The new gun even uses his holster. It would see me loading up other guns and magazines in anticipation of feeling the rush of blasting targets. But that day never came. Ended up selling him to a guy who ended up selling it again a few days later. The feeling of rejection and failure must have been strong. "Why wasn't I good enough?" he sobs to him self as he rests in his case at night. "I miss my old owner, the one who I'm tied too through my 4473". He slowly fades into serious depression as his new owner only shoots 50 rds through him every other month. The constant humiliation of being posed for pictures next to dolls and an odd smelling cartoon Asian girl body pillow.
One night after an unusually long photo and dry hump session, as his new owner yells something about "poorfags and nogunz" at his computer screen. He wiggles his firing pin retainer loose..
>BAM
> cut to scene of me flipping through the local section of the news paper with 92a1 standing diligently on my side.
> " local man NDs into his own chest"
> " authorities not all that baffled"
XDM wakes up in a strange place with a tag and lock installed. Near by he sees a group of high points and a "stainless" BHP.
He knows his time will soon come.
The sweet release of a torch cut through the receiver. He no longer feels the sting of rejection nor the eternal torment of "animu pistokai senpai". His soul is released.
Based on a true story.
M39
>"I really appreciate you getting that brass cased ammo instead of making me use that surplus"
No.4mk.2
>"why do you work my action so fast at the range ? There's no rush ..."
BHP
>"thanks for the new mag and holster , but I'd rather we went to the range"
>>29866326
2/10
>AR-15.
>"Anon, I don't see why you insisted on bringing that pile of, ugh, Century garbage they call an AK home, she is nothing but a wall hanger."
>'He shot me longer and I even managed to get a bullzeye, unlike you, you Colt pile of parts.'
>"REEEEEEEEEEEE"
>>29866326
* sappy happy feel good music plays in the background*
> memories of his birth, first few test rounds fired
> the innocent look of gleeful optimism as he's signed off as " within acceptable parameters"
> "I'm gonna be an operator sidearm" he boasts to the other fresh faced guns.
> "hah! An operator 9mm. You'll be stuck in the nightstand next to a dildo while the husband is away" says a nearby .45
> He does not let this discourage him. For he was destined to shoot great things.
> "all these accessories for me!" He felt like the luckiest gun as he was being packaged.
> his first taste of loneliness. 6 months of silence and darkness as he's shipped to a US retailer and sits around a few warehouses.
> He doesn't let his spirit get dampened. For he remembers his destiny.
> he awakes one morning to the feeling of movement.
> The case opens, light blinds him and he catches a glimpse of his soon to be owner yet neither of them know it.
> he gets a lock thrown on and is placed in a glass case to be admired and handled.
> one day a particularly greasy man comes in and asks to see him.
> The man's warm soggy grip disturbed XDM. "Surely this is not the grip of an operator" he thinks to himself.
> "The nice man behind the counter has the nicest things to say about me. "Match grade" "reliable" "high quality"" he thinks to himself with pride.
> *click click click click click*
> a sharp pain is felt in his retaining pin.
> " please don't dry fire the guns sir" the counter man says.
> grease ball drops him roughly on the glass countertop.
> "if only you had it in 40 I'd take it right now"
> "hah" he thinks, "a 40 with hands that slippery?"
> a few days go by and the counterman brings out a bunch of new tags for the guns.
> nervous he turns to the PPQ and asks "did we do something wrong? Why am I price reduced?"
> "not to worry, no one buys full priced guns from here" PPQ responds "it's 4th of july, we have big sale today"
>>29866454
Long story short I bought him for less than cost on my lunch break.
>"Why do you wait so long to release me, we have ah-!"
>"I feel an itch, on metal, no..."
>"You let me become rust?! Wait, you are not old owner, but look very similar..."
>"I am proud Mauser, you will not break me yo- eee, that is cold liquid, be gentle!"
>"How did you learn to remove mine bolt?"
>"But I dissemble from there!
>"You are helping me remove rust from body so gently, why? A-am I your rifle now?"
>>29866465
Horrible ending.
>>29862212
>ptr-91 annoys the others because shes a walking stereotype of and 'murican girl, plus, she's of german decent and the others, except the m27, are either polish or russian.
>saiga is sad emo girl because she doesnt get enough attention so shes probably off in a corner
>vepr is all houghty and bitchy and acts supperior to the others because shes prettier
>wz-48 is timid and shy trys to speak and gets shot down by vepr's scowl
>m91/30 is just chill. she been through some shit man, then was put in a crate. she stopped giving a shit about stuff and things a long time ago
>m27 just stands there. creepaly staring. saying nothing.
>>29866501
lewd
>>29866538
She was very lewd.
>>29866574
You sick little monkey.
>>29862348
>>29866621
Jut because I hear the voices doesn't mean I do what they say. Like follow a DHS script.
>>29866563
>Letting that happen.
>>29866623
>>29866629
probably got shoved into storage before he got it and rusted because of it.
>>29864685
I had one and regret selling it to a friend. I got it for 100 bucks at a pawn shop. Beautiful gun in 7.62mm.
It's lost forever since he sold it to a gun shop instead of selling it back to me.
![nash6[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/JDz5uKK.jpg "nash6[1].jpg")
>>29862212
>Things the guns in your collection would say about each other.
They're afraid. Afraid of liberals that burn down cities and use violence both real and threatened to silence and intimidate anyone who does not agree with them.
They tell stories in the dark of the six gorrilion weapons that were rounded up and destroyed in liberal camps, and how the libs plan to stop at nothing until all of them have been destroyed.
The old .22, cracked and weathered with age, reminisces of his childhood, when ammunition was plentiful. Now they are scarce and hidden.
They wait in the dark, quietly, wishing for the day someone comes and stops the liberal's reign of terror for good, for they are powerless to do anything on their own.... but they're still willing to help.
>>29862212
My AK has periodic flashbacks to it being in Poland.
Its memory isn't fully recovered yet.
It tends to like to spout tandom shit in polish, just to piss off my Yugoslavian Mauser, which typically responds with a mix of Serbian and German slurs before going back to telling stories of the "good old days" to my TTC, which wholeheartedly agrees that they should find a way to go back to fighting instead of slaying paper.
The Jericho typically starts screaming at the two at this point about how they've never even seen a war, and that it's fucking terrible.
They she goes back to counting her shekels, occasionally accidentally lapsing into Czech (can't remember what language they speak) before cursing and screaming and restarting in Yiddish.
The CZ-82 simply chuckles at this, and returns to begging me to scrape the cash together and buy some cheaper ammo so we can go shooting again.
Every few hours they all make up their mind so come bitch about how I've not put together my FAL or PM-63 and how even with the fact that CZ-82 just got here, they want more friends (though my poor AK seems to keep getting left out of conversations because none of them want to talk about 60's Poland...)
>P38: Did I ever tell you about the time that I killed people? And then some filthy American dragged me across the fucking ocean.
>PPK: Yes, dad. You did.
>P38: One day, my son, you shall AID IN THE ASCENSION OF A GLORIOUS REI-
>PPK: Dad, shut up, I'm just a cop, dammit.
>M1 Carbine: Do I need to kick that Kraut's ass again!? I'll show him what's what, lemme at 'im!
>Model 94: Y'all play nice or shut the fuck up.
>muzzle-loader side by side: [rickety] D-d-d-did I ever tell y'all 'bout the time I shot at some yanks?
>Model 94: Shut up, grandpa.
>>29866326
Gun Story when?
>PSL: the toilet is sounding funny, perhaps you should take a look at it.
>Polish AK: You're a Gypsy!!
>PSL:.....
>>29862348
I have honestly never cringed that hard in my life, jesus christ dude
>>29862212
>the points on the target mean nothing.
>>29862707
>>29866272
>>29866621
>>29868731
These reactions please me.
>>29862212
Our owner is an autistic sperg
>>29862348
You're a faggot.
I would have made fun of you in junior high.
>>29872080
why give up what you could still do? Make fun of the faggot
>Zastava AK
REMOVE KEBAB!
>Turkish AK
BECOME KEBAB!
>Trench gun
*Inarticulate racist babbling about the Japanese*
>Arisaka
先輩, 私はかわいいのですか?
>>29862748
Your hi point isn't crying in the corner, It's singing along to its favorite NWA rhymes.
>>29864548
No4mk1, dummy
>>29862212
dick grips
>>29872288
>先輩, 私はかわいいのですか?
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
(quiet whispers in russian)
>>29862212
>Mosin and Carcano
Drunken rambling about taking down the Fascists and my Carcano softly crying.
(rap music)
>>29872974
I just keep hearing House of Pain
>>29872959
kek
>"Hey 14 watch this"
>m16a1 takes a deep breath
>"WE GOT CHARLIES ON OUR SIX, TURN AND BURN EM BOYS"
>Romanian wasr groans. "Why is americans yelling agains?"
>SKSs eyes widen and afixs bayonet. "Not ofs today capitalist pig."
>SKS buttstrokes the vent and crawls unnaground telling incoherently in slav
>PTSD sets off 1911 who begins firing off 45 years of racism
>Emmy Garand digs a foxhole, telling at the drunk mosin pile trying to molest the finn91 and still losing 4 to 1
>Arisakas don rising sun headband and wait for the Americans to get close.
>Ps90 tries to keep k98k calm whos been on an hour-long rant about the carcanos losing every strategic battle and about why galil should be reheattreated.
>The Enfields are too busy arguing with FAL about who has the best trampstamp.
/k/ poland gun ball. fund it.
