>Everyone flips out over these
Why?
They're fucking good, that's why.
>>29820625
Come on man. Even pogs got enough sense to know charms are bad luck
>>29821757
Get that shit out of my humvee.
Delet this poest
>>29820625
Bad luck. Like saying the word rain, but worse. For the same reason we call the sun Bob, rain turtles are forbidden, comms are black magic, you don't say the word "apricot" near tanks, don't comment on how quiet it is, lucky mags stay with you, don't count down the days, and we draw dick shrines on fucking everything.
We're soldiers dude, just pretend we're a tribe of illiterate teenagers. It will all make more sense.
>>29820625
The way I understand it it's a urban legend that charms make it rain or are just bad luck in general.
All cultures have their silly myths and military no exception.
It's a superstition that exists for the sake of superstition. I know that's a lame as shit explanation, but that's what it is.
>>29820625
Some guy probably really liked Charms, tricked his squadmates into trashing them then ate them.
And it just snowballed from there.
>>29821802
Thanks 4 cervix
>>29820625
Cursed item. Guys who ate them pretty much always died, and if reports are to be believed, got most to all of their unit killed as well.
That said, I'm curious about how tankers and their fear of apricots got started.
>>29820625
As best as I can tell, it all started with HBO. They told a story about some dudes innadesert and came up with that horseshit.
>>29821849
I know where we stand mate, much to the disdain of my platoon mates.
I'm just doing it for the adventure.
>>29820625
I fucking love Charms, but people think they're bad luck for the same reasons people think anything is bad luck.
>>29821872
Apricots cause jams, duh
>>29821802
>Bob
It's B.O.B.
Big Orange Ball. Fuck, you a pogue?
>>29821849
ur whalecum
>>29821802
>>29821814
>>29821872
Wait, is this shit serious? Civvie here, I know everyone's got their superstitions and myths, like how killing albatrosses meant bad luck for sailors in the old days and shit....but in this day and age you'd think this practice would be gone by now... anything more regarding modern superstitions in the armed forces? Pretty interesting stuff
>>29821802
Why don't you say apricot near a tanks?
>>29822119
I've seen grown men tied up and beaten mercilessly for saying the R word.
That and saying no balls the mother nature is a good way to get your ass kicked.
>>29821802
No need to pretend
>>29821846
>Some guy probably really liked Charms, tricked his squadmates into trashing them then ate them.
God damn it, this is probably right.
>>29822263
>saying the R word.
never served here, whats the 'r' word?
>>29822439
Oh thats easy its just ra-
>tackled, beaten and tied naked to the front of a humvee
>>29822439
the term for when water falls from the sky.
still curious about the apricot thing.
>>29822459
>>29822466
Oh rain, whats the big de.....
>>29822263
to tie in off this at any of the northern bases the "S word" is that devil white shit.
>>29822516
Semen?
>>29822516
Spagooter?
>>29822516
Sherbert?
>>29822524
>>29822528
>>29822535
guys, I think he means sno-
>>29822541
Snorlax?
>>29822507
The tribe claims yet another sacrifice to the gods of good weather and pt belts
While I've got yall here, anyone PCS/ETSd can tell me how this fucking household goods shit works?
I've got them coming to pack shit up tomorrow, do I seriously just leave all the loose shit loose???
>>29822507
Damn shame
They even posted it while they were beating him
>>29822637
>do I seriously just leave all the loose shit loose???
yeah even the clothes. They'll box it all up pretty nicely, better than you're expecting at least. When they're doing the closet, go check out that cool box with the cross bar that they hang all your clothes in! It's actually pretty cool to watch them, they're like harvester ants trained to efficiently pack household stuff.
>>29822637
Basically yes, you could group similar things together to make it slightly easier but they have no problems pulling shit off shelves and out of drawers. You may want to throw away shit you don't want to make the move because they are literally retarded enough to pack EVERY FUCKING THING IN YOUR HOUSE/ROOM. Don't try to much to help them except to offer them some water occasionally. And like any worthless civilian contracted to work for the military they can be pricks sometimes.
>>29822697
>>29822675
Cool. Thanks fellas
>>29822119
With the charms thing, pretty much everyone in their first few years regards it as just some stupid bullshit. Like atheists regarding God.
But then at around 2-3 years some change happens in us. By then we have trained in 3 straight days of rain enough times to know that there are no coincidences. We become convinced that either God does exist and hates us, or it's the charms, because God damnit we actually did see someone eat charms and laugh about it nearly every time.
Then in the fourth year it doesn't even fucking matter if the charms thing is true or not. You just hate everything about your life. And there are brand new guys who don't know shit. You fucking hate them, too. because they're incredibly, unbelievably stupid. Like they're all just fucking with you. But they aren't, they just really are that stupid. And you see one of them with charms in his hand, you see him look left and right in case anyone is watching, but he doesn't see YOU watching him. And you see him unwrap that fucking piece of candy and start to put it in his mouth. And you hate everything. And he's this stupid fucking new guy. You fucking hate everything. So before that charms gets to his mouth you just run over there and smack it out of his hand, JUST TO SEE HIS DISAPPOINTMENT, and you say, "Fucking boot, don't you know that shit is BAD LUCK? Do that again and I will kick your ass." And he looks shocked, like a little kid who got smacked by his mother, not sure if you're serious. And it makes you feel so fucking happy. So that entire last year you look for boots trying to sneak charms just so you can pick on them.
And if it rains, you curse at these boots about how you know one of them ate charms, and the rain is THEIR fault, not because you believe it but because you just hate everything and it kind of makes you happy to bitch at them. Then you leave and the new guys eventually start getting rained on and start wondering. Cycle continues.
>>29821802
>pretend
Uh, I don't think that's required.
>>29821926
I think that fucking pun is the single greatest thing that can be attributed to the US government
>>29821872
Apricots are bad luck for tanks. What I was always told was that way back when, a tank unit was out in europe and happened upon a grove of apricot trees. Omnoming ensued because hay, we tankers are fat and love our food and coffee. Right after that, bad shit began to happen, track being thrown, engines failing, main guns having anything from NDs to the damn breech coming apart. After that, no apricots on the tanks, hell, fruit other than apples will usually get you threatened at the very minimum. I attribute the apricot thing to gypsies.
>>29822111
>Yet the Infantryman does't complain about that
I thought the running joke is that soldiers will find a way to complain about literally everything.
>>29820625
Ausfag here (aka place that gets no interesting food) what are the magic confectionaries you speak of? How do they cause bad luck? Do they only cause bad luck while you're in service? How do you even get a hold of these while in service if everyone knows they are bad luck? I'm so confused
>>29822229
Apricots are bad luck, your shit will break down
>>29822516
You mean Snow?
>>29824424
>the sound of a thousand enraged ground pounders begins to echo from the distance
>>29824424
damn you have just cause a blizzard to hit Drum now
>>29821802
what the fuck is a rain turtle?
>>29822551
Yes because if you run into one during a platoon run you have to roll that fucker all the way back.
>>29823903
They're little fruit flavored hard candies that come in M.R.Es
>>29822516
Sherman?
rain
snow
the sun
apricot
boy, it sure is quiet.
>>29825231
>rain turtle
This is a common practice among Paratroopers who want it to rain to a jump can be canceled.
A rain turtle is a ritual believed to bring about rain, especially in periods of drought. The practice is commonly considered to be of Native American origin. To perform the ceremony, one uses a stick to draw a turtle facing West in the sand or dirt of an area in need of rain. The stick is then driven into the ground so that it remains protruding from the turtle's back. The time required for the action to take effect varies from one account to another, ranging from occurring instantaneously to taking several days.
The practice has become somewhat common with surveyors, hunters, ranchers, gardeners and other people working outdoors, particularly in the Western United States.[1] Some people that work outside and rely on favorable work conditions might draw this, in hopes that it will rain and will get them out of work. Getting caught doing this at a job site might result in the person that drew it to get into trouble.
>>29826897
Well they did. I started eating MRE's in 2007 and they were already discontinued. Not sure when they were officially.
Which is why I believe maybe 1/4th of people here who claimed to eat them. They learned it from Gen Kill.
>>29823657
IT could be raining pussy and guys would complain there aren't enough assholes.
>>29820625
Americans.
They's be big into Jesus and Leprechauns.
We just carve dicks out of wood (in the woods).
>>29828088
They fucking work too.
>>29828153
I read that fraction as one quarterth.
Wouldn't be suprised if that was the case. I wasn't in the service back then, but I experienced charms from my army sister's vegetarian MREs. I'm sure a fair number of people have experienced charms through generation kill as well as surplus MREs.
>>29828153
please that shit was around well before Gen kill came out and it is why they brought it up. Grunts have superstitions about everything from lucky boots to not carrying white lighters. About the only thing i have yet to see a rule attached to is how you jerk off
>>29828088
>be paratrooper
>peacetime military is shit
>now don't even want to do the cool part of their job
What a bunch of lazy shitfuck morons
>>29820625
Charms are the best.
>>29828914
Gen Kill - Book 2004, series 2008
>please that shit was around well before Gen kill came out
I said they were discontinued by 2007, so yeah they were out before gen kill, dumbass.
>Grunts have superstitions
I was a grunt, I ate a lot in 2007 and 2008, meal 1-24. They are constantly changing the menus. And they were gone by then. So kindly shut the fuck up you don't know what you're talking about.
>>29828984
>pandorabox.jpg
>>29828984
>Some noms before a flight
>>29829085
listen dip shit seeing how i was in Afghanistan for the third time in 07 i think i know a bit more about infantry fuck fuck games tradition than you. shit was a thing since at least 2000 because that is when i learned it from the E-4 mafia. and i was still finding charms up until 2010 because supply never does their job and rotate out the older series hence why you would still find the five fingers of death in some areas.
>>29828088
>>29828661
Can confirm we used an old beaner to draw us Rain Turtles when I was in construction. He said he learned from from some other old beaner and was the only one who could actually do one that worked.
>>29822996
how the fuck does a goddamn tank ND?
it's not a fucking glock, I'd imagine it would be pretty obvious to not fuck up that bad.
>>29829227
I'm not talking about traditions or any of that you sperg fuck.
Well then you are some old ass shit in 2010. I ate old as shit too because gunny fucked up supply and even the cheese spread was hard and bread was moldy. No one got charms. But you were in the Army so maybe your supply was even more retarded than mine.
You need to pay attention about what's being said.
>>29821802
Why are rain turtles forbidden? I lifeguard on an army base and we draw rain turtles all the time just for shits and giggles.
>>29829296
what the fuck is a rain turtle?
at first I thought it was a normal raincoat, but apparently its the rain version of kilroy.
>>29829258
We'd rain out baseball games because we played against a team that were dicks when I was in school.
>>29829260
It's the apricots.
>>29829310
Like >>29828088 said, you draw a turtle facing west in the dirt and drive the stick into the ground on its neck. Although when I was first explained it they told us you were supposed to piss on it too but of course we never did that because we would definitely get in trouble for whipping our dicks out in front of a pool full of kids and dependopotamuses.
War is people making 7 figures a year, advised by people making 6 figures a year telling people making 5 figures a year to go kill people making 3 figures a year. It's not supposed to make sense.
>>29822111
Jesus are welfare queens whiney.
Yeah thanks for accepting my tax dollars in exchange for killing goat herders on the other side of the planet, what would we do without you
>>29829408
>3 figures a year
So $999 tops?
>>29829285
no you said the Charms thing was only because Gen Kill, and i am telling you Charms=bad luck was around before we even went to Afghanistan
>>29823657
That whole thing is a giant complaint
They bitch about things while taking pride in not bitching about them
Reality tearing cognitive dissonance here
>>29829486
No I said I believe only 1/4th of people I would believe because they've been discontinued so long.
As in only people who were in before me, which would be the exception, you. Assuming telling truth. Most other cowadoodys in here do know it from Gen Kill, trust me.
>>29829408
whoa, so a pyramid scheme of death.
Brutal.
>>29822119
The albatross thing is also still alive and well. Back in the Navy, one of my coworkers took a shot at one with a .50 cal (fucking thing just happened to fly near during a qualification shoot) and my chief was about a second away from kicking his ass right there on the main deck.
Seagulls are fine, though. My old E-6 blew the fuck out of one with an M60.
>>29829372
this
>>29829626
no one like gulls. Albatross will bring you home safe
>>29829096
later on that flight
>>29829663
the USN must've loved the grumman albatross then
>mfw even carriers today dont have bananas aboard for mess time
>>29829446
$999 is an incredible amount of money to a 3rd worlder
>>29829626
You win dis one G I
>>29828630
Finland? Is that you?
>>29829760
Kek
>>29828984
>>29822996
>120mm gun
>ND
>>29820625
Because they haven't been put in MRE's since 1994. Which means if you get one, your MRE expired more than a decade ago.
>>29821802
Every industrial culture has superstitions. Not just the military. Most people understand that these are just fun little traditions that we have to keep ourselves entertained.
EMS superstitions:
> saying "quiet" ever
> saying "boring" or any variation of it
> watching EMS-themed movies on duty, i.e.: "Mother, Jugs and Speed", "Bringing Out The Dead", "Broken Vessels", etc.
> taking off your boots before 9pm
> cooking anything other than Ramen or microwave food
> wishing for "a good trauma/code/respiratory distress"
> "turfing" or "dodging" a call
All of these things are said to generate calls, usually in vast numbers, at late hours and/or of a particularly shit variety. None of them do, of course. You could shuck your boots at noon and chant "quietboredquietbored" while watching Bringing Out The Dead and nothing special would happen. But it's fun to propagate these habits because they're a common joke we can all laugh at.
>>29830467
Over two decades ago, even.
>>29828088
Jesus Christ, just wash your car like a normal person. Always works for me.
>>29820625
do mangos do anything? i'd hate for mangos to do bad. I like mangos.
>>29833178
>Mangos
Hope you like explosions, Anon.
>>29833184
well that explain so much. guess i wont eat anymore mangos
