All services welcome
>Got to Bastion/Leatherneck.
"Hi guys welcome, I know you all did an extensive pre deployment package but we are going to run you though a week of the same training in theater because we didn't get the paperwork though."
> The internal security guys are actually short on manpower so half of you are going to man check points inside the base and never leave, you guys over here can do that. Enjoy.>Got to Bastion/Leatherneck.
"Hi guys welcome, I know you all did an extensive pre deployment package but we are going to run you though a week of the same training in theater because we didn't get the paperwork though."
> The internal security guys are actually short on manpower so half of you are going to help the MP's man check points inside the base, doings internal patrols and never leave, you guys over here can do that. Enjoy.
>Hey the base is shutting down and you're going home in 2 weeks but we forgot that all this equipment is going to Kandahar and the MP's said you've done a great job on internal security and their short on manpower over there so half of you are going with it. You might not be home for Christmas or New year like we told you you would be two days ago.
>cont
>Hey welcome to kanadhar, your duties will consist of sitting on this roof making sure these helicopters don't go anywhere. You might get to go home in 4 weeks or 3 months we don't know
>Turn up for shift one night- all the helicopters gone. "Oh yeah they've all gone now did no one tell you? Since your not busy guarding them mind guarding the entrance to the accommodation lines, Prince Harry is coming down in two days by the way and everything's got to be tight"
>Finally going home - "Sorry too many people on this flight, but we're are putting you on another one that leaves in 2 hours get packing. Sorry that flight was incorrectly loaded and you can't get on it and the next flight is two days away and stops in the UAE"
>In the UAE you have to wait at this base for your connecting flight we'll keep your kit stowed here. Oh sorry the plane blew an engine and your here for another 2 days, no you can't get your kit back. Flights here but we are making three stop offs on the way.
That tour felt like it would never end.
>>29742427
Not mine but my uncle's.
Here come the feels.
>Be Uncle
>18, at time of Vietnam War, around 1970
>Drafted
>Goes to basic and gets hazed to high hell
>But it's fine, he was pretty hardy
>At the end, he got shipped over to Vietnam
>Helicopter Gunner
>When he got there it was complete chaos
>Pretty much ordered to kill every single person he saw
>Civvies included
>The fact that he's a gunner too means that you probably have a higher chance of surviving than the guys you're dropping off
>It eats away at him
>One day he's assigned to a patrol, but takes leave
>His best buddy takes it instead for him
>The Huey is shot down
>He learns of it after
>Completely devastated and feels guilty of his death
He still takes responsibility to this day
>Finishes tour without getting hurt
>But ends up with pretty bad PTSD
>Never really dealt with it
A few years later
>Take him to Vietnam memorial in D.C.
>He finds his friend's name
>Completely breaks down
>He never forgot, and never will
>>29744175
> you will never swan through the air in a glorious Huey, mowing down gooks left and right
why even live?
>Basic Training at Great Mistakes
>During P Days
>RDCs are leaving for the night.
>Say that if our laundry isn't back by the morning, we're doing pushups in the morning
>Have to Ricky Ninja this and sneak out with ski masks on and dodge night watch patrols to get to laundry room
>Get all the laundry
>Almost make it back to the compartment without incident until we hear "WHAT THE FUCK?"
>Run back and get in, night watch doesn't know who did it
>Next day, show RDCs laundry bags
>They're speechless
>No one had ever snuck out to do that before
>They're proud of us
>Do push ups anyways
Bonus:
>Black guy startches up the hood on his sweater
>Walks around the division compartment at night shouting, "WHITE POWER!"
>>29744378
I don't get it, what was the story behind getting your laundry?
>>29743988
>>29743993
Kek, good times. I did a tour in RC south, southwest and west. Plenty of time in Bastion, Dwyer, shindand, etc, but I was based out of Kandahar. It was hilarious flying to Bastion to support ground guys and seeing all the Brit apaches and USMC ospreys and cobras sitting on the runway while we flew air support.
>>29744397
Our RDCs (Navy's version of drill instructors/sergeants) said that if it wasn't in the room by morning, then we would be punished. They rely on the fact that you will be even more severely punished if you leave the barracks at night as a deterrent so they can punish you in the morning regardless.
However, me and 3 other guys did a sneaking mission to the laundry rooms in the dead of night to get it all back, much to the surprise of our RDCs.
>be Sunday in bct at Fort Knox
>sleeping tactically so DS don't see
>curled up in corner with beanie on over eyes and ear pro in
>wake up
>pull beanie above eyes
>entire platoon is gone from bay
>ohshitnigg.png
>go out into hall
>platoon waiting outside
>they say senior drill wants to see me in his office
>they said he came in about 15 minutes ago
>someone yelled at ease but I didn't hear because ear pro
>he walked over to me sleeping and said look at this bitch
>for every minute more I slept I got double fire guard
>15 days of double fireguard
>go to his office
>he smokes me for 2.5 hours
>talkin shit to me the whole time
>do my double shifts for the next two weeks
>get no sleep
>finally graduate
>SDS wishes me good luck as I get on the bus
>never see him again
>>29744398
I was at Bastion from jul '14 till just before it handed over to the afgans, then Kandahar just before the Uk left. The Apaches, Cobra and Stallions were flying non stop when I was there.
We were sent there to run tesseral on the north/south boxes but they had other plans when we actually turned up, pretty sure the fuckers knew the whole time we were lined up for REMF duties and didn't tell us. I had to watch Marines gear up and fly out most nights while I was stuck guarding their fucking aircraft.
>>29744680
>Brit apaches with radar in Afghanistan
>>29744698
What about them?
>>29744756
Why install the fcr. It's nothing but detrimental in that theater
>>29744519
Kek. What a bunch of buddy fuckers though.
>>29744808
I don't know had nothing to do with them other than making sure they didn't get fucked with. All Uk Apaches have the radar units, I don't think we ever use them without.
>be in navy exped squadron
>go on deployment to AFG
>advancement results come out, made PO3
>walking to chow after frocking ceremony (advancement ceremony)
>feeling proud/happy as fuck
>have a friend on each side of me
>air force butter bar rounds a corner
>before we have a chance to salute he pops tall and says 'good afternoon colonel'
>return his salute and tell him 'sharp salute lieutenant, carry on smartly'
>gets a puzzled look on his face, turns around and comes up to us
>realizes he just got punked by an e4
>begins to shout at me and my two friends, tells us to stand at attention while he addresses us
>our CMC (highest ranking enlisted in our squadron) who is a salty old school navy type was walking behind us and saw the whole thing
>gets in 2nd lt's face says some full metal jacket shit to the guy
>we continue on to chow, CMC keks fucking hard when I tell him what I said to the butter bar
>>29744895
That makes absolutely 0 sense.
>>29745057
First day in the military?
>>29745073
Not quite, but go ahead and tell me the advantages of mounting and flying with a fire control radar in Afghanistan.
>>29744378
Thank you for your service
>>29745097
i wasnt, i was just saying that shit doesnt have to make sense in the Military
it's like an unwritten rule that shit dont make sense
>>29745057
Well take it up with the Army Air Corps, I don't know why they do it just that they do and always have.
>>29745139
>>29745212
Yeah the military never makes sense. We took our radars to afghan just for them to sit in containers.
>>29744378
Excuse my english
>Couple of years ago
>Belgian army , best army
>Motorized infantry squad leader
>On post near Kabul national airport
>Only thing the Belgian army got to participate on
>Got that one guy who drops in my squad in the middle of our tour
>A real comedian , and not in the good way
>One day he cant let us concentrate while doing our job , keeps up telling us a joke that building up for hours
>Tell him to get a hold of himself and move on the other side of the street
>five minutes later a ied explodes killing him and injuring 4 of my guys , our MRAP ( DINGO 2 ) protected me from the blast
>mfw i will never know the end of the joke
>>29745411
>look at this sweet HMMV camo
>and my fluorescent orange helmet
>>29745411
I love this picture and filename so much.
>>29745420
kek, poor guy
>>29745420
Bullshit, Belgium hasn't lost a single soldier so far in Afghanistan
>>29745528
>>29745420
A MRAP is a MRAP, a dingo 2 is a fucking dingo 2, you Motherfucking childmolesting wafflemunching excuse of a wannabe frenchman, you stupid idiot. Thats like saying Leo 2 is a abrams. God, im rageing so Hard right now.
>>29742427
>DI is chewing out a dude
>I can't help it and let loose a faggy giggle
>OH ANON, YOU THINK THAT WAS CLEVER YOU THINK THAT WAS FUNNY
>WELL THEN YOU CAN KEEP FUCKING LAUGHING PRIVATE ANON, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LIKE THAT
>I CATCH HIM NOT LAUGHING AND ALL YOU FUCKERS ARE GONNA PT TILL YOU FUCKING DIE
>I then have to do everything while laughing
>PT, shitting, cleaning, everything
>For the entire fucking day
Good times.
>>29745029
fucking YES
>>29745437
New fag
>>29745554
it fits in the MRAP category of infantry mobile vehicles
>>29745559
>be re/k/rut
>be Parris Island
>be PT-ing
>be suddenly having to shit real bad
>be damn near grown man asking to use "the head".
>be running to porta shitter about to shitta-muh-pt's
>be watching three DI's rocking a porta-shitter back and forth
>be hearing *at least* 6 recruits inside shouting out their general orders
>be hearing the blue water slosh and splash
> be about to laugh and shit self at same time
> be spotted by the DI's having an intense internal intestinal inquiry.
> be the 7th guy in the porta shitter, getting blue water splashed on my bum while shouting general orders.
> be Marine.
>>29745542
Guy died of illness, not an IED
http://www.warveterans.be/veteranen/carraro-alexandre-/id-menu-422
>>29745631
well
>>29745554
No it's not. It's like saying a Leo 2 is an MBT.
>>29745604
Holy shit lol
>>29745631
kek
>>29745631
How ?
Dads favorite story:
>1978, LCpl Dad
>penultimate day of RnR, back at base
>barracks located downhill from hotel
>hotel has bar
>obvious.jpg
>gets shitfaced at bar with another LCpl
>MPs called to deal with drunken masodjas
>taken back to barracks, MPs laughing, cuff them to their beds (different days, those)
>LCpl says to dad: "How about another beer?"
>blackout
>father wakes up, burning hot (its around 11AM, African sun), MPs and locals laughing their asses off at them
>they managed to drag their beds out the barracks and 3/4 the way up the hill to the bar at the hotel before they passed out
>never caught shit for it
The only story he ever wants to tell.
He seriously hates the other memories
>>29745604
Lousy boot story.
>>29745844
Do better, /k/unt.
>>29744519
He shit-talked you for hours? Did he repeat a lot of stuff, or could he come up with fresh material the whole time? How do you not run out of shit to talk in 2 1/2 hours?
>>29745935
Mostly the same shit. I was a warrant candidate and when the company drills found out my parents were both officers they had a field day with it.
>>29745631
KEKT
>>29745902
I have to drive to the gas station to buy more liquor. I'll tell a funnier story than you did when I'm back.
So, we're familiar with how units think they're better than each other, right? Like that constant battle of US Army's 82nd and 101st divisions constantly swinging dicks at one another?
I used to fuck with some of the super unit-loyalty types. I had a company commander that would suck the dick right off of the 82nd Airborne if he could. He gave the company a more or less actual order to say "Airborne" when saluting him. People actually thought they'd get in trouble if they didn't.
>be me, inna hawaii
>Walking to the shoppette, because coffee and a monster reload time
>CC is walking down the street towards me
>Snap a sharp salute
>I loudly exclaim "AIR ASSAULT, SIR!!"
>Someone down the street heard that shit
>CC just stops dead in his tracks
>".... The FUCK did you just... ALRIGHT SHADOW, HOW ABOUT FRONT LEANING REST, YOU SMARTASS"
>"AYE SIR"
>I drop, giggling
>"OH, SO YOU'RE A MARINE NOW, HUH?"
>"NO SIR"
>Still giggling
>CC is so socially awkward, he gets really red in the face and is easy overwhelmed when he can't power trip his way inside someone's skin
>Ignoring the idea that he could easily threaten me with article 15's makes it easy to break that facade
>He's sperging and chimping the fuck out in the middle public on me
>I'm laughing my ass off at this point
>CC spends 25 minutes or so nearly screaming how the 82nd Airborne is and always will be superior to the 101st Airborne
>"I agree, sir. The 82nd is really good at falling. But the 101st actually aims for the DZ"
>CC Loses his shit even harder
>I'm crying from laughing at this point because the CC pretty much threw military bearing out the window
>mfw I was never even in the 101st
>CC dropped me every single time he saw me for probably about 2 weeks after he figured out I was trolling the shit out of him
I'll grew text one or two
>almost hit by UAVs on multiple occasion
>had ROZs open up right on top of us where we were operating
>Multiple IED strikes
>AC130 shooting bofors at a bunch of jibs
>multiple hellfire strikes
>some pretty crazy medevac missions
>mid air systems reboot
>dodging RPGs
>shooting afghans with flares
>ANA and ANP stopping each other's convoy because they can't pass and then arguing about who gets to go first while shooting in the air
>chasing a PGSS that had come untethered
Most SOF missions had at least one interesting thing happen
>tfw the F16s at KAF insisted on doing afterburner climb takeoffs and set off the rocket alarm every goddamn time
I have a few at my house, particularly one about a guy in basic shitting himself on the 16km road march
>>29745902
>>29746112
OK Anon, I acquired myself a can of Pringles, some beef jerky, and a fifth of vodka. I don't even remember boot camp that much so I'm gonna do a light hearted Iraq story
>On post # 2 looking at Euphrates River
>only other post I liked was post # 5 you could watch Iraqi kids play soccer
>2nd hour in, radio check
>post # 1 doesn't respond
>I Roger up for post #2, posts 3 4 5 and 6 Roger up
>post # 1 still doesn't respond
>get up and look out window to left lateral limit, I see Post # 1
>both 1st and 2nd platoon are on post
>2nd platoon is in post # 1
>see their SSgt walking around post # 1
>he climbs up the Hesco barrier and crawls into their post
>wtf
>see him crawl out carrying a m249 SAW
>couple minutes goes by
Their SSgt gets on radio. He woke one guy sleeping on post but the other guy slept thru it.
>their SSgt starts to taunt them on radio
>"Fernandez........."
>yes SSgt
>"what ya doing?"
>umm I'm on post SSgt
Minutes go by
">Fernandez... What's the weapons situation?"
>ummmmm OK I guess SSgt
>"Fernandez have you still not woken up your post buddy by now?"
>No I haven't yet SSgt
>"God damnit Fernandez, you're such a buddy fucker"
>Aye SSgt, I am
Many sand bags were filled that day.
>>29746474
Meh
>>29746388
THANK YOU
That shit pissed me off so much
>>29746474
You forgot the punchline anon
>>29746555
I set myself up for failure. I just can't stand boot camp stories. It was pretty funny but I guess you had to be there. Getting your own rifle snagged is bullshit.
They tried it on me in SOI but I wrapped my rifle sling around my foot. Almost punched an instructor who thought he was crafty.
>>29746254
> "Aye sir"
kek'd
I left the muhreens and went into the Nasty Guard because reasons and even though I'd taken Corporals Course in the jar-head corps my Guard unit sent me to WLC (Warriors Leader Course).
The whole time I was there I used all the Marine jargon I could. Would acknowledge commands with "Aye sir", would call the latrine the head. Told people to line on the bulkhead and stupid motivated shit like that.
Then I learned the Army doesn't think twice to out Sergeants on their faces. So I go real good at pushups at WLC.
Still say "aye sir".
Still call all NCO's by their entire rank when speaking in front of others in a professional environment.
>>29746658
We had a guy who transitioned from Marines to Army and did the same thing a lot out of habit. Drove a couple of our officers fucking crazy and the guy just couldn't help it, lol.
How did you like WLC? I fucking loved that course. Learned a ton and had a great time. Our SLG's were bro as fuck and EO complaints were virtually nonexistent. We all had really fucked up callsigns. I was Meat Hammer 7, our asian SGL had switched from Minority 1 to Golden Shower 69, another guy went by 8-1 Meat Missile, shit like that. Our calls for fire were always hilarious since it was usually me calling for WP on IEDs and shit. SGL turns to me one day and say "Shadow... You're just one of those dudes that wants to watch the world burn, huh?"
Best military class ever.
>>29746601
I know mate, I can't tell stories for shit too, and I hate it.
Dramatise your almost-punched-your-instructor for us, sounds interesting
>>29746898
>pulled on my rifle, woke me up
>looked at him angry, he said I can go back to sleep
>following day they said they snagged 17 rifles from Marines
>they all got put on restricted Libbo but not me
>go out and get pussy in Oceanside
>report back next day
Save the drama for your mama.
Canadian forces
>3 tours afghanyland
>My ass still itches thinking about all the sand
>>29746898
BTFO
>>29746863
I went through FIG last year and it was hyper-faggatron mode. They focused more on customs and courtesies and drill than anything else I'd seen.
The army is in love with its own paperwork, and the guys who run paperwork generate rules to perpetuate this addiction.
My best guess is that an Ent jodied some soldier and this is how they seek revenge.
>>29746388
Dude, I got back from BAF 'bout a year ago. I'm an Apache mechanic, and our ramp/parking was literally a stone's throw from the middle of the runway.
>First 4 months of deployment
"God damn that's cool! On night shift, you can see the afterburner clear as fuck! They're so loud and badass!
>Last 5 months of deployment
" If I get my hands on one of those Viper (current F16 callsign at the time) fucksticks, I'm going to choke his fucking eyes out."
>>29746254
Hahahahahaha fucking classic. What shoppette? The one by Martinez, dominos, Popeye's/BK or wheeler?
>>29747133
That's unfortunate. I went in... 2010? 2011? It was pretty awesome back then.
>>29747200
Wheeler. Though, that 24/hr shoppette near the infantry barracks was pretty awesome too. Booze whenever. Wheeler's shoppette was always closed on weekends when I was there.
>>29747200
>>29747133
also, witnessed
I have a slav army story
Long time ago I was at university and we still had draft back then. I saw a poster waiting for an exam and it promised waiving conscription for 6 weeks during the summer. Sounded good and I was kinda /k/ minded even back then so I signed up.
They put me in artillery school (other options were baltic navy and an ABC decontamination unit which sounded shit) and we got to learning about the 2S1 122mm soviet self-propelled howitzer.
Anyway this one day a bunch of dudes enters and theres a lieutenant with them and he calls us all sorts of stuff and demands we turn in our phones so we all did, there was over a dozen of us autists (mostly computer science and engineering students because who the fuck would voluntarily sign up for the military in summer) all together.
It actually took us like two days before someone asked a sergeant when we are getting our phones back and when we explained to him what happened he got mad as fuck and all hell broke loose they called the MP's and closed grounds off because it turned out it was a bunch of draftees who got themselves fake lieutenant insignia online and basically duped us of our phones.
They got caught and the MP's paraded them in front of us all taking great care to open doors with the detainee's face which kinda felt good because they managed to already sell my phone by then
Firing the Gvozdika was fun as fuck tho
>>29747260
I remember now, you're the Kiowa spark chaser that left 209th just after the pizza guy drove down the fighting.
I'm curious, did you know a SPC Ochoa in powertrain that ended up going to WOCS?
Its open Saturday's from 10-17, closed Sunday. Shits gay.
Enroute to Drum right now, on pcs leave.
>>29745554
di'kut
"MRAP" is a categorie of ied protected vehicul...don t try to be smart if you can do a single google search....
>>29747288
Russia is gay. You suck. But you guys are in to anal. And I get that.
>>29747355
That's me. I did know Ochoa. Didn't really talk to the guy on a constant basis, but I remember his name and face for sure. Have fun with Drum. Never been, but I hear the winters are fucking brutal. You're going from one extreme into another, lol.
>>29747421
He's over across the flightline in the Med now. Pretty cool dude.
I'm from WA, so it's almost the same distance in the opposite direction. Luckily I'm going to get there in late spring.
>>29747483
Ah, nice. That's pretty awesome that he ended up in Hawaii again, lol. I take it he's flying Hawks now then.
>>29743988
Towards the end of my deployment, my company took a lil trip with some Apaches to support a mission in Helmand. We got to KAF, and then boss hit me with this.
>"PFC anon. You're the best Commo dude we got."
Squad leader's wife had a life-altering surgery weeks before, he went home, but not before making me good for something.
>"You're going to Bastion. If something shits out, radios or otherwise, it's on you to make it happen."
>19 years old
>Don't know what the fuck Bastion is
>Never been grown-up on my own before
>"okey smokey"
Chinook outta KAF, get to Bastion hours later.
>Abandoned Flight line.
>No shit, empty air traffic tower, rotting clamshells (maintenance shelter) across the runway
>Dusty, dilapidated airport terminal building
>Not a fucking soul in sight, save for the people I was there with.
>alone.jpg
Fast forward a couple days. The place is now littered with C Wire and antennae, like in Command and Conquer when engineers take a building. I work with the Air Force FARP dudes about 200m from the terminal. We watch this SF Razr with SF beard-guys roll around on roaming guard with all sorts of swoopy gear for entertainment.
>Tearing into MRE at makeshift table
>Me and FARP dudes hear the Razr zooming
>awshit.PNG
>stop eating and everyone stares out to flight line spectacle
>Razr is hauling balls towards us.
>no shit, four SF guys, kitted out in a fucking Razr going top speed across flightline straight for us.
>Last possible second, driver locks up back brakes, powerslides to a stop sideways 20 meters from us.
>Dude on the 240 in the backseat stands up above the roll cage, like he's poking his head out of a convertible
>5 second staredown. Me and the FARP dudes in awe
Guy standing up just shouts "YOU BOYS LIKE MEXICO?!"
>Razr peels out and they go out on guard/patrol the perimeter
They came back that night at the end of their shift and we shot the shit for hours. Really fuckin' cool dudes, good times in a shitty place
>>29747498
That he is, I have no idea how he ended up back here immediately after flightschool, considering this is where he came from.
Fuck basic stories.
>In crime squadron
>The s4 has a narcoleptic kid from idk where.
>A little wierd. Masters falling asleep standing up in formation.
>His ncoic and sncoic frequently try unfucking him to no avail because lolnarcolepsy
>One day on my way to clean weapon at armory see a flatbed govvie truck pulling through motor pool gate.
>Its the narcoleptic kid driving without a TC/A driver and nodding off
>Glad i didnt park near him
>Glad he isnt mine
>Other time at around 2 a.m. in the barracks I spontaneously wake up.
>5 seconds after i open eyes hear screech and crunching of metal and plastic.
>Look outside my little barracks room window
>Just in time to see two figures run to the barracks from their truck which had crashed into another truck
>5 minutes later some guy starts yelling that hes going to wake up everybody in the barracks until he finds the guy who crashed into his truck.
>Roll over, go back to bed thinking about how many hours of my life will be wasted talking about DUIs. >Just another day in the fmf.
>>29745834
What the fuck. That is fantastic.
>Join army
>go to ait with bunch of other prior service guys
>proceed to drink a lot with other prior service guys every day
>Obviously get bored at the barracks and need pussy
>Hey guys lets go out in town and fuck shit up
>Leave 2 of our guys at some dive bar to go to strip club because titties
>After a couple of hours rtb
>On the way back to barracks see a taxi on the side of the road with cops behind it.
>Hah, probably those disrespectful ait marines
>Next day go to class. Guess who isnt there.
>Go back to barracks and find one in bed still and other missing.
>Lost one joins us up with a fucked up face later on
>Turns out he got in a cab with some other guy he didnt know and some army guys have a big grudge against marines.
>Told not to drink anymore
>Wait for a few days to start again
>WTI
>Run resupply to comm guys in desert
>Resupply was for a couple kegs every night too.
>Hear stories of wooks slutting it up at night after kegs are drained.
>I wouldnt know, being attached to some s4/mmo fags on mcas yuma
>Later on say fuck it, go by myself to food court when fag ncoic isnt bugging me and get me a pitcher of blue moon, turns into 3 pitchers.
>Apparently later on that night I try to stealth run past the entry control point leading to our toc to sign back in, through c wire. Some guy tackled me before getting to it.
>Next day wake up with sand up my ass and no pants
>>29746254
>that constant battle of US Army's 82nd and 101st divisions constantly swinging dicks at one another
This is cringier than the worst moto murreen
>Miramar a few years back
>Rolling blackouts in socal
>We hear its coming to base too so everybody rushes to supermarkets out in town for beer.
>Darkness falls
>BEQ-wide drinking fiesta. Furry costumes, basketball courts all full of dudes playing beer pong, grills start up
>Leadership senses disturbance in the force
>They send all 1st Sgts out on presence walks through barracks
>I'm walking back from my room to a more fun quad so I can have fun too
>Almost get hit by retards driving through parking lot too fast.
>Female 1st sgt appears out of nowgere and chews my ass out for not stopping car that almost runs me over.
>Proceeds to "yell" at driver and his buddy
>I sneak away in the chaos
>Later on taps plays and when it ends some fags start singing j g wentworth commercial song.
>More fags join in j g wentworth song
>yell at them to shut the fuck up
>>29747779
>mirimar
>pogs
>female 1st Sgt
Holy pog shits. I'm out.
>>29747746
It's not by choice, mate. It's eternal. I'm in the 82nd, and we're about to have a whole month of super moto bullshit. It can not be helped.
>In 82nd
>turd bde
>Staff duty conducting checks around buildings
>See somebody in arms room
>Ask what staff sergeant so and so is doing in a fucking arms room at 0120
>Mutters something about supporting jrtc from the rear
>Detain guy and call his 1sg who is at jrtc
>1sg says he doesnt know about this guy and he didnt need support from an arms room on bragg
>Call pmo and detain guy at staff duty desk
>pmo searches his car. In trunk find bunch of weapons parts, big ass screwdriver, crowbar, other shit that had gone missing for the past year.
>Months later after investigation, see mr thief at my door.
>Don't tip him for my pizza
>>29747852
>if you're gonna be one, be a big red one
>>29747520
A lot of places retrograde hard during my tour. Tarin Kowt was like that, it scaled all the way back, abandoned the runway and was just Aussie sas. Camp Cognac at shindand was an awesome ODA spot. Those dudes were the coolest motherfuckers to work with. All NATO SF I worked with were great, the Lithuanians were funny as hell.
>>29748842
Ba a man among men...be Orkin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT9_KUwATHw
>mfw they shutdown the tgi Fridays and Kandahar
>>29747520
Hard keks were gad at the super troopers quote
>>29742427
>be my dad
>be in coast guard because drank too much at college
>have to join mast ship race to Nova Scotia
>be on training ship Eagle
>on way hear that a boat was lost to the seas
>have to search for survivors
>get there, see people floating in water
>have to rescue them among high wave levels
He told me this story 3 whiskeys in and over a fire. Here is an article over it if you're really interested.
http://www.nytimes.com/1984/06/04/world/18-missing-1-dead-and-9-rescued-as-tall-ship-is-lost-near-bermuda.html
>>29747779
877 CASH NOW
>>29744519
Those Jack fucks...
>>29746263
Post stories
>>29753087
Pick one. Too many and too lazy to write em all out.
>>29753153
>shooting afghans with flares
Go for it.
>>29747520
Was that in 2014 as it was drawing down? The Marines had a flightline right on the edge of the base, miles away from anything with loads of accommodation behind it that they full on abandoned, was that the flightline you ended up in?
We got tasked to keep patrolling though that area because it was on the point where the Taliban got in in 2012 and the brass were worried that if they got in there they could hang out and no one would even notice. After we handed over to the Afgans they did get in, two weeks later and blew the shit out of the place. I saw the buildings I used to sit on and smoke while the sun came up on fire with chunks blown out of them on an ITN broadcast, the sector was called air purple.
>>29742427
>orders to police the scene of s vest attack
>nearly the worst carnage i've ever seen
>5 m everything is fucking black or red-brown
>most of the wounded out of the way or on the way to a hospital, left the dead out
>wailing shouting and crying in arabic
>nearly step on a kid's foot, not the kid, just the fucking foot
>about the size of a kfc breast, kid can't have been older than 10
>same color when you peel that shit open and it's pink-red on the bone. bone was yellow and charred.
>smells like burning meat, gasoline, metal, and plastic. especially meat.
>get back to the fob and smoke cigs for about 20 minutes straight
>couldn't stop clenching my fists or using my hands
I can't even look at spare ribs anymore
>Be the lofty high rank of Able Seaman Second Class (trainee) in Queen Lizzie the Lizards Royal Loyal Navy
>At HMS Raleigh learning how to iron my boxers and how to arrange Irons in order of Colour hue
>In changing rooms after a PT session
>General tomfoolery and assgrabbery is occuring
>Notice that our particular locker section has a WO uniform hanging up in it unattended
>The lads look from me to the uniform, knowing full well I'll do anything I'm dared to just for the laughs
>"Go on J, do your thing"
>nodonttemptmefouldemon.JPEG
>"Do it for the bants"
>okeydokeykaraoke
>Put on full WO uniform and do a pretty good impression of our own WO. He has a distinctive way of grilling people
>Door to locker room flies open smashes against the opposite wall
>6'8 Leading Hand Clubswinger (Fitness instructor basically) barrels in and stands there in his short shorts with hands on hips
>"WHAT IN THE NAME OF SHITTING TITCUNTS IS GOING ON IN HERE"
>try to wrestle off uniform
>"sorry staff, I was just mucking around I'll get it off"
>"NO YOU WILL FUCKING NOT PUT THAT JACKET BACK ON I THINK YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY FUCKING TOP BANANA!"
>"Staff I was just mucking.."
>"YOU WANT TO BE A GREAT NAVAL COMMANDER? IN THAT CASE WE NEED TO GET YOUR PORTRAIT DONE ITS TRADITION! AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WE LOVE TRADITION DONT YOU BOYS"
>"HANDS UP WHO IS GOOD AT DRAWING HERE"
>one of my mates sticks his hand up
>"Aye I went to art college before this Staff"
>"EXCELLENT NEWS I BET YOUVE GOT AN ARSE LIKE A WIZARDS SLEEVE AFTER GOING THERE NOW GET OVER HERE AND DO A PORTRAIT OF OUR NEW ADMIRAL"
>Clubswinger forces my friend to draw me while he forces me to pose in ridiculous positions on the bench
>Keeps whispering helpful advice into my friends ear
>"his nose is a bit bigger"
>"his eyebrows aren't that bushy"
>"beautiful yes, let the pencil be a conduit to your soul"
>"draw him like one of your French girls"
>"sign it Gimpy Bruce Forsythe cause that's what he looks like"
I still have it to this day
>>29754397
Sorry anon, that sucks.
Bumpu
>>29754888
holy shit you deserve those trips
>>29754293
I was there early 2015. Our section was a ghost town dude.
>>29754888
Once I realized that was the picture he drew my sides went into orbit.
>>29747355
Inna Drum right now. You're probably going to fucking hate life for the next few years, if you're infantry that is. the Airfield life is cool.
>>29746658
Story of every Marine ever in National Guard
>Be me
>Already seasoned combat vet
>Get a new gunner since last was hit
>Take new guy out on patrol
>Get into contact, bullets start flying
>New guy can't keep his shit straight
>Standing on all the shit we need
>Terrible gunner, can't hit anything
>Our truck gets hit and disabled
>Driver KIA, we all bail out
>We bound backwards, I get hit
>New guy is just combat rolling around
I'll never forget that day and you, Abu Hajaar
>>29742427
Who was there in 2012 when Bastion got hit?
Wtf happened anyway? that shit got me extended for 3 more months as Leathneck security when we were 3 days out from going home.
>>29754888
>arse like a wizards sleeve.
jesus christ you brits have the best euphemisms
>>29764639
kek
>>29744175
Aw man. I wasn't aware Vietnam war was fought with disregard of tje Geneva convention.
Has there been an inquiry on who gave orders?
>>29765280
> what is My Lai
> what is operation Phoenix
>>29763454
I'm going to the CAB, hopefully to the medevac.
>my chariot awaits
>>29754888
>do it for the bants
You just killed me, you brilliant fuck. Murdered my sides.
>>29754397
Is this PTSD? How do you cope with that?
>>29764639
>combat rolling
What does this mean?
>>29765321
Apparetly, you ate my bait.
>>29765935
Oh boy, you're in for a treat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM3ElTvF52I
>>29742427
when I shipped off to MCRD Paris Island I was /r9k/ as fuck. No idea about guns or anything.
Barely passing IST run/pullups but could crank out crunches like a motherfucker to give you an idea of how I was even able to get there
>Day two or three of forming
>Everyone still trying to adjust
>raining cats and dogs outside barracks
>Few recruits don't have their ponchos
>Offer mine to one of them because I know im gona fuck the platoon over more then once so it'd be best to get 'teammate' points early
>Senior runs up to me screaming "RECRUIT WHERE'S YOUR PONCHO!"
>REEEE- "SIR THIS RECRUIT GAVE HIS PONCHO TO ANOTHER RECRUIT WHO DIDN'T HAVE ONE"
>"OH SO YOU LIKE THE RAIN DO YA?!"
>"IGH SIR!"
>"WELL YOU'RE NOW THE RAIN RECRUIT"
>wat.jpg
>"FROM NOW ON WHENEVER IT'S RAINING YOU AND I ARE GONA GO HAVE FUN! ARE YOU EXCITED RECRUIT"
>"IGH SIR!"
>from then on whenever it started raining (april so it was like twice a day) He would yell "RAIN RECRUIT!" And I would get IT'd out in the rain.
>get called Aquaman for the rest of Boot
I've got more including when the other recruits found out I was a virgin.
Truth be told I didn't mind it aside from the sand/water hell mixture
>be me
>deployed to Iraq
>live on small outpost (JSS) about a football field in size
>have to burn our own trash right outside the wire every night in a pit
>by middle of the deployment everyone is starting to go insane from the monotonous routine of guard, missions, and all the bullshit details with a micromanaging shit CoC.
>around our JSS is a literal mote of piss (the piss tubes went directly into the mote)
>on the bank of our little piss mote there was a dog that had carved out a small endentment.
>she is pregnant, gives puppies
>eventually every time we go outside the wire for mission the puppies come and chase the trucks looking cute af.
>basically become our little mascots
>guys throw food out the tower to help keep the little puppers alive
>one night on guard in the tower
>get notified on radio that trash burning detail is going out
>provide cover for trash burning detail
>trash is on fire
>watch with complete apathy as one of the soldiers goes and grabs the mother
>throws her in the fire
>she yelps and moans as she burns alive trying to get out of the pit
>she doesn't
>watch as the soldier goes back to bank of mote to get the puppies two at a time
>throws them in the fire
>they all yelp and moan
>soldiers standing around giggling or just watching
>there's a video made of the event
>the wrong guys sees the video
>guy is punished for said event
>tfw I just stood there and watched like I was watching a sitcom with no real emotion or care of what was happening
>tfw I still hear little puppers yelping and moaning as they burned alive in pairs
>>29766626
what could you have done? Don't blame yourself for that shit man.
>>29760284
Early 2015 - fuck the base was empty by that point, all Uk forces were out by end of October 2014 and the US weren't far behind. Everyone had left apart from the afghans and obviously you and some SF guys. That must of been some hardcore shit man, props to you. I assume SF were assisting the ANA and you were on comms? I heard the place is pretty much over run now.
>>29745029
I want to believe
>>29745567
Reminds me of my time on Okinawa as a chairman
Fucking navy
>That fucking smirk every single time
>>29764639
Damnit Abu hajaar
10/10 Alan snackbar
>>29766626
Theres some sick fucks that slip through the cracks
>Be my cousin
>in Afghanland
>doing Marine shit
>rolling around in humvees
>local kids swarm the trucks every time they go through this town
>some throw rocks, sticks, etc
>last group to go through took a few grenades
>come up with plan to stop children from swarming
>buy some packs of oreos
>find bear mace
>soak the fuckers
>let them dry and soak them again
>repeat until can is empty
>bring them on next patrol
>letthemeatcake.jpg
>never have problems with kids swarming trucks again
Reading all of this shit, I basically get the impression that the war in Afghanistan was a police operation.
>>29766508
Oh shit that was gold
>be dad, ca. 1972
>6'4, no more than 150 lbs, skinny af
>conscripted inna navy
>radioman on oil tender
>exercise out on the dogger bank
>suddenly BATTLESTATIONS.wav
>sprint toward radio shack
>blackout
>wake up in infirmary
>CO says he ran forehead first into a steel bulkhead
>Captain orders him to, from now on, whenever on or near the ship, wear a stahlhelm (helmet)
>that helmet got very dented
>sometime later, maybe some other exercise
>refueling american destroyer on it's way to the baltic
>ships are tied together at the bow, fuel lines hoisted over
>all this while under way
>typical north sea weather (i.e. shit)
>ships are parallel
>wind goes in between, creates a jet effect
>this means that the air going in between the ships sucks them together, because physics
>crunch.mp4
>tender and destroyer collide at the stern (? back of the ship)
>line connecting the bows is taut
>cant just undo it because massive tension
>2 not exactly small ships doing a tug-of-war with their bows
>some crewman has to go and cut it
>goes and axes the line
>rope takes off like a massive whip
>US ship sounds like a big bell when whipped like that apparently
>luckily no seamen on deck at that time, rope would've cut them
>fuel lines r.i.p.
>minor oil pest
>lol its the 70s, noone cares
>both ships gotta go to the shipyard for repairs
1/2
>>29768609
2/2
>ship is in port
>dad is assigned to guard duty
>marching up and down the quay
>quay is empty
>guard duty is boring
>rifle is heavy
>helmet (see above) is scratching head
>dad's feet hurt
>suddenly CLUNK
>something just hit the helmet
>wat.exe
>comrades throwing something at me or what?
>quay is empty
>can't leave because must guard ship
>continue walking
>CLUNKflapflapflap SKRIEE
>angry looking seagull wobbling about nearby
>SKRIEE
>this seagull really doesn't like helmets
>continue guarding ship but watch seagull too
>seagull flies again
>circling
>divebomb.exe
>bash it away with rifle
>SKRIEE
>seagull spots a dumpster waaay down the docks
>apparently more interesting than killing the helmet
>seagull fucks off
>continue guarding ship
>comrades saw
>keks (or whatever they said in the 70s) were had for long times
>>29766600
Tell us the Virgin story
>>29750741
I read that as Starship Troopers and got confused as hell
>>29766626
If you had a single scrap of humanity left you would have fragged that psychopath.
