You're sitting in front of the television, wasting your life away.
Suddenly your show was interrupted, telling news of a nuclear warhead approaching the country in ten minutes.
Your city was listed as a target, and all other surrounding cities.
How can you survive the nuclear attack?
>>29580718
I will hide in your mothers vagina along with 10 other guys.
>>29580734
never change
>wanting to survive
>not embracing death
I immediately tear all the shelving and food out of my fridge
>>29580765
>Not wanting to survive
>Not wanting to go STALKER
>>29580718
Go into the bomb shelter that literally every single Finnish apartment building older than 20% has. Bring guns, ammo food, water, rainclothing and gloves. Also hearing protection. Move out a few hours after the nuke falls. Take my car that's in a garage on the opposite side of the probable nuclear strike, underground from its point of view, drive down to the beach, get in my boat and make my way to my summer cabin. From there contact the FDF to inform them that I'm alive and able to be deployed.
>>29581052
>older than 20%
20 years.*
>>29580718
Well there aren't any actual bomb shelters around here, so finally ask that girl out I guess
>>29580718
I live in a small town in Maine, why nuke it? it seems like a waste when the naval shipyard is nearby
>>29580718
Well, it said approaching, and there's no mention of a guarantee that it'll detonate.
Everything will be fine, your honour.
>>29580718
>You're sitting in front of the television
I don't own a TV dude, try "sitting in front of the computer"
I don't? I have one good fap and then I grab my glock and pop a few mags then pop myself? wtf type of question is this
I also live on a not so large but not so small city, so no reason to nuke, but there is a reserve air base some miles away, so I'll be dead
I'll probably miss the announcement cause I don't watch TV
>>29580748
>>>/reddit/
>>29580718
If they're targeting my area, some thing must be very wrong. All the major shit like bases, the state capital, etc, etc is like 80-100 miles away.
I'm joining this fucker >>29580734 sure it'll be tight, if we plan just right and leave the fatties out, we can get 2/3 of /k/ in there.
>>29580718
1. Install metal folding chair on roof
2. Grab beers and get in underwears
3. Laugh while watching everyone panicking
>>29580718
You fucking don't.
I will first sue the government. It's ok if its just 100million dollars because I don't pay taxes anyway.
I live in an area that would be targeted by multiple city busters. There's nothing I could do to stop that.
>>29580718
I get in the fridge after I realize everyone around me is made of plastic
I open the door and offer some communism.
>>29580718
Is this image from Metro: Last Light?
I think I remember this cutscene.
I spend 5 minutes evaluating if I want to die right now
next 5 minutes are either spent killing myself quickly, or getting in a safer spot of the building.
>>29581052
*unsheathes twin katanas*
>>29580718
Duck & cover.
>>29580718
Bust a quick nut, light a smoke and slit my jugular
Realistically though, probably meditate and try to accept my inevitable demise.
>>29580718
You wouldn't. Nuclear weapons are very fucking good at what they were designed for, and that is killing shit loads of people.
I've got a better scenario for you, OP:
You're sitting on your computer, shitposting on your 4chan board of choice. You, not owning a TV, home phone, or (lol) a radio see a thread on 4chan saying that there's a nuke coming. You double check link, and find it's legit.
What will be your final post?
>>29586625
CP. Lots and lots of CP.
>be in Charleston, SC
>prime target because nuclear submarines
I dunno. Just take it I guess and hope I am instantly vaporized.
>>29586652
Heh. I live ~5 miles from the edge of Rock Hill, out in York. I wonder if I'm far enough away from Charlotte to avoid death? I know my area would be swamped with dirty NC refugees within a day.
Hide in my hole, it's roughly a half mile deep hole, 3 foot diameter. I dug it over 25 years.
>>29586712
Holy shit
Just a straight-down hole?
Wouldn't it cave in?
How would you get out?
I'm confused
Explain
I make an F35 thread and start shit posting like a maniac
>>29580718
The Russians or whoever must have some very outdated targeting plans, there haven't been any important targets around since the Cold War ended. In any case I'll probably go shitpost on /pol/.
http://www.wouldisurviveanuke.com/
The 5 largest cities near me bombed by Tsar Bombas and our little town would catch the very edge of the shockwave so we're safe from the initial bombing.
We'd drive south directly into the Olympic National Park and hide out for months until shit is no longer hitting the fan.
>>29580777
>5 years after the nuclear exchange
>scavenger is scavanging for supplies
>enters your house
>searchs around, finds the kitchen
>"eh, what the hell" and opens the fridge
>hfw he finds mr skeltal waiting for him
>>29580718
I carefully finish my chicken tendies and then shit into my hand, flinging it at the incoming missile.
nope, I'm 20 mins from what they would target.
I'd get my gun, put one in the chamber, and put it under my chin at an angle so it goes through my brain entirely, and in the event the fireball didn't consume me, pull the trigger.
10 minutes to leave a major city in ten minutes with a huge surge of people with the same idea.
>top kek
>>29587196
Although the Tsar Bomba is the single largest nuke ever made I thought the MIRV technology that we have now increases area and kill count with a way smaller yield warhead
>grab alcohol, guns and lawnchair
>also grab phone for porn
>strip naked and begin jacking off and drinking, watching everyone panicking as i wait for death
>as the MIRV penetrates the atmosphere, I cum
>in the afterglow, the fireball consumes me
>all is right in the world
>>29586625
>What will be your final post?
Probably wouldn't be able to post due to the servers crashing as /pol/ takes a massive collective shit on itself.
>>29580718
Quicksave, then explore multiple avenues until one doesn't kill me.
I wouldn't, instead I would go to the gym, load up 800 lbs. and squat one last time, as the fireball consumes me I'd yell "LIGHTWEIGHT BABY" as I turn to ashes, Ronnie Coleman style.
>>29587466
>pol panicking and shitting itself
>/b/ burning its furry porn
>/an/ and /out/ hiding in the corner praying to any god that will listen
>/fit/ drinking it's final shake
>/o/ crying over all the good cars that will be lost
>/v/ bitching because it lost it's binky
>/k/ sitting on the roof with a beer laughing and waiting for death while playing vietnam music
>>29587504
>It Aint Me level starts
>Vietnam starts playing
>>29580718
Unless you somehow have easy access to a reinforced concrete shelter or something you don't get to decide whether you survive a nuclear attack or not.
>>29585795
not OP but yes
>>29587560
even if you survive the blast, fireball, and falling buildings, fallout and other people will get you.
best to just end it all as soon as you find out a nuke is headed your way.
>>29587254
No
A older style fridge would save you from a nuclear blast. Its been proven.
>>29587585
proven by who, indiana jones?
the overpressure and shockwave would get you for sure, the only thing that the fridge would protect you from is radiation.
plus you're gonna be locked in, waiting for some scavenger to come along, pop the fridge open and off you.
>>29587585
I think there was a documentary about it. Something about crystal heads or something
>>29587608
It didnt kill the dude who was in the fridge when it was tested
>>29587585
low quality trolling
Jesus, whoever's nuking us is retarded
>>29586712
Details man! Some of us want to witness the Salamander King and all of his holy slimyness.
1. try to figure out why someone is sending a nuclear warhead at my country in the first place!
2. fetal position.
3. Sit back with a beer in one hand, a cane pole in the other, in my boat on a lake. Enjoy the last cupple seconds in life facing the facts am gonna die. And laph at myself for being to lazy to go to the army nuclear warhead proof base 3 feet away from me.
5. Become a guy named Indiana Jones. Get in a fridge. Magically survive. Live in a world full of plastic people.
FACE THE FACTS! WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO SEND A NUCLEAR WARHEAD AT MY COUNTRY! :|
>>29586712
>half mile deep hole, 3 foot diameter
almost had a panic attack thinking about being in that tight of a space
>>29580718
I wont because im only 20 miles from city
>>29580718
Couldn't you survive the fallout by going into a sewer system? If you grab some bottled water with food and a medical mask you might survive the fallout depending on wind travel. Or you could luck out and live near a college. My college has old steam tunnels underneath that could definitely protect people from fallout.
>>29586712
you fucking what
I drive into the nearest valley a couple minutes away and hope the geography diverts the nuke
>>29580718
I live about 10 minutes from a fallout shelter. But I doubt I'd make it in time.
>YOU ARE THE BLOOD
>RUNNING THROUGH MY FINGERS
>>29586712
what do you have in place to get down there?
what about air and food and shit, and getting out?
I need more details on this unnaground shaft
>>29587793
Not necessarily retarded, probably just desperate
>>29586712
u wot m8?
>>29590955
So they hit Stevens Point in Wisconsin? You'd think they'd at least go for a population center if not a military base/nuke silo
>>29580718
I don't
>>29580718
Run over to my neighbors house and rape his daughter. Then pray the nuke alert wasn't a hoax
>>29580718
Go to the local deaf center and find out if they panic verbally or with sign language.
>>29580780
Why do radiation can slowly and surly kill me?
Or get raped and eating by a pack of canninals?
Besides I live like 20 mins for a large city we would be in the blasting zone/fallout and would die without bugging in which I have no supplies for.
>>29587364
fucking kek'd
>>29580718
>Be me
>Get informed there is a incoming nuke
>Get into a NBC suit
>Get equipment ready
>Get into BMP
>BMP drives into a trench
>Everyone prepares themself for the incoming shockwave.
>Survives
>Join up with the rest of the force
>>29581255
Spotted the newfag
>>29588255
>old steam tunnels
You at Rolla, anon?
