Things your gun would say when you cleaned it.
>>29461324
Thanks, fuck knuckle.
>>29461324
Bang! You should have cleared me first asshole
>>29461324
A-AAAnhh~! M-Masuta~~~////
Fuck off cunt! I don't need that for another 600 rounds at least.
>>29461324
Oh god...yes...I need you to lube deep inside me...I need your oil inside me...uguu~
>>29461324
You can't handle the truth! You can't handle being a Queer faggot asshole! MORE LUBE!
>>29461324
Tavor: "Oh thanks, after that box of 500 rounds I'm dirty as a goyim."
[glares tapping foot]
"Oh, right sorry, boss."
Ruger SP: "Ahh much better, but don't you dare put in the gove box again."
Beretta 92fs: "Um, I know I'm you're favorite, but you don't have to strip me down to my frame for every cleaning."
Is it bad I could probably write 10k+ word stories about this kinda crap?
Onii-chan! Don't look, it's embarassing! Ahh, ahH, AHHHH, my chamber feels weird! You're hitting my deepest parts with your long bore brush, ahhhhhhh~
>>29461662
do it comrade.
>>29461662
Do it faggot.
>>29461662
>cringe folder
>>29461691
Anon stop touching me there I'm gonna BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT
>>29461662
Please do it. I'm at work do one about a carcano after first shooting never been stripped
...but you didn't even fire me today.
Do you just like seeing me like this?
>>29461696
>>29461708
>>29461711
>>29461730
Hmmm Upotte!! or soul eater type weapons? IE always a female or transforming from female to gun?
Stop cleaning me so fucking much you cunt, you only shot 20 shells outta me and you're terrible at it to boot
Go die
>>29461715
Here you go, anon.
>>29461813
Kek, I liked that
>>29461324
Fuck off and put me back in the safe, it's dry in there.
so is the future of the /k/, a bunch of /ak/-awaii posting?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HwooX0Q5rU
>>29461715
>my sides
...but I shoot from there
>>29461324
That's right anon, clean my dirty feed ramp. No, not my forcing cone! Ahhhhhhh!.
>>29461324
Do you HAVE to be naked when we do this?
>>29461855
holy shit, we didnt nuke them enough
>>29461762
Give Uppotte!! a go
>>29461855
Dude was right on point. Show is a shit, yet I can't stop watching besides the wikipedia tier inaccuracies
>>29461324
be careful with the crown this time!
"But anon, I eject from there!"
"I don't remember this from the owner's manual!"
"No anon! Use a clean towel and gun lube only!"
"I'm worse now than before you started!"
"Is this what you do with that tramp hi-point too?"
>>29461324
>cough
Please.. help...
>>29462081
She just needs a little love & elbow grease. I'm sure the /diy/nosaurs could help.
>>29461715
>you remember this
Thanks nigger!
https://youtu.be/6QdSLeQ0494?t=1m13s
>M...M.mmMaster! Do we...we have to do it heaaaAUU~
>*SQUELCH*
>y....Your..f...finger...!
*SCHLICK*
>it's going to f-far inside my ejection port-ah! Kyaaaaa!
>N-No don't! Don't put the buffer tube in that deep!! AHHH! NNNNHN!
*SHCLORP*
>if y-you keep rubbing my bolt like that... I'll...I'm-ah-imaaaaAAaaAAHHHHHH!!
"Hello Darkness my old friend"
>>29461476
Hi point?
>>29461662
>>29461762
We're waiting anon
>>29461324
You gonna ram that in my breech, or you just gonna stand there dumping lube on it?
>>29461324
cyka blyat
Come on, get your whole arm in there.
>>29461324
You missed a spot.
放我下來
我要收割水稻的
Enfield
>Put some pants on, uncivilized yank!
>>29463811
Working on it. It'll be awhile. If need be I'll make a new thread.
>>29461324
>>29461324
It's been 3 hours since I was shot, what took so god damn long ?
Gear oil? You're putting gear oil on me? DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE GEARS YOU TWINKLE TOED COCK SUCKER? WITHOUT ME YOU ARE SOMEHOW EVEN MORE USELESS THAN THIS! THAT SCARES ME, RETARD! BUY SOME REAL GUN LUBE!
Blyad :DDD
Deeper
Deeper
I can still feel the bore snake grinding up against my dirty, dirty rifling. Maybe you should feed me some of that non corrosive stuff again. I swallowed every last one of those, didn't I?
...
...
Umnhhh yea
Looks like I still had some Cosmo in the bayonet swivel tee hee. I guess you're gonna have bust out those mineral spirits and bathe me again anon. You just aren't veey good at cleaning my more sensitive bits are ya? *winks by dry firing*
- my SKS
>uses the toothbrush
"Oh i see you're going in dry first again"
>>29464237
Confirmed for Marine Corps M16A4
>>29463864
>All that rust.
>>29464318
Bite the pillow
>this entire thread
>>29464987
You what lewd? FINE
>an m14 is set on a gun rest and held firmly in place with vice clamps built into the rest.
"Um, sir, isn't this just a little um suggestive?"
"Nonsense. It's just quick cleaning procedure. Now hold still."
>while humming you spray a small amount of solvents along the action and gas block
"Ah! The solvent is cold!"
"You'll live."
>despite her shivering you know this is for the best and spray a bit of solvent down the barrel
"Cold!"
>you roll your eyes then grab the cleaning rod with a cotton pad already in place
"Okay, barrel snake time."
"Please go slowly, sir."
"Fine, fine."
>you say as you push the bore snake down her barrel with the cleaning rod careful to mind the crown
"Oh god."
>the rifle squeaks
"Just relax."
>you say reassuringly as you guide the bore snake down her barrel
"I feel so-so FULL!"
"You always say that."
>you say as you ignore the suggestive sounds your rifle is making as you slowly slide the bore snake down her barrel until you can see the bore snakes white string handle
"Okay, here we go."
"Re-ready, sir."
>you nod in reply doing your best to ignore her panting reply before you start to slowly slide the bore snake out of her barrel
"I-I can feel it m-moving deep inside me."
"Not helping, m14."
>you say as you to ignore the lewd sounds escaping from her as you slide the bore snake barrel pausing and leaving the tip of the bore snake inside her barrel and listen to your rifle's panting and soft moans
"Ple-please, sir."
"Ask properly"
"...."
>you can practically feel her desperation
"Say it."
>you hear her mumble
"Say it, m14."
"Pl-please finish me!"
>with a smirk you give the bore snake a sharp tug popping the bore snake's tip out of her barrel
"Ahhh!"
>>29465670
Wow I fucked that up. Off to bed.
The better question is, if you were a gun and your master just stripped you down for cleaning what would you say?
>>29465670
I came.
>things you can say about your guns but not your girlfriend
>>29466396
I have a Gun.
>>29466396
I may one day have a gun
>>29466396
I am sexually attracted to my guns
>>29466396
I have stuck my dick in it
>>29466396
I will die with her in my arms
>>29466396
I can picture you being in my life forever, I never think about getting rid of you
>>29466560
And then the ATF showed up
>>29461324
>it's about damn time you fucking crazy asshole and don't fucking put ants inside my barrel ever again you fucking jerk also stop cramming pages from your fucking bible inside of my receiver bitch!
>>29468687
Quit talking about the newest forced meme.
>>29468765
It's funny because it's the easiest form to troll /k/ with
>>29468801
How? It's the same as "clip vs magazine" fags.
>>29468826
Except by just saying "antman" it easily derails threads and causes arguments
>>29468884
So using a dead guy's name just to cause bullshit on /k/?
Seems legit
>>29461789
I know that feel.
>>29465771
Your not alone.
>>29465771
>>29469318
What? I messed it up near the beginning. It's shit. I'm kinda working on three others though. A Mosin, a 92fs, and either Galil or M16. Not sure yet.
>>29468687
https://desustorage.org/k/thread/29465187
Funny enough antman is still alive
>>29469458
Do the german mauser, M16, AK47 and a 22lr rifle as a loli little girl "22lr is kiddy rounds" oh and don't forget the G11 german rifle
>do not be forgettings of behind ears, comrade ;3
>>29469599
Magical space kraut rifle? Shit that's gonna take some thinking.
>>29461324
Yepp, my bolts stuck again, go get the mallet. Papa mosin needs a rest
>>29469617
>dickgrips
>i
>c
>k
>g
>r
>i
>p
>s
>>29466396
You can put a fucking silencer on it
>>29469638
Yeah but it would be worth the read maybe even a few separate posts of it in another thread
We believe in you and we are cheering on for you kommando!
Don't forget the little loli girl 22lr though
>>29469694
PHHBABBAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
>>29469458
It doenst have to be perfect.
I have an imagination ya know.
>>29469638
I can just imagine the G11 being an obese german woman laying on the bed with her legs spread wide and the guy standing there going "dear god what have I done?" Looking at how horribly disfigured and wrecked the vagina looks but must put his hands inside and pleasure the dirty filthy G11 with her complex vagina
Gsg 1911 in 22.
> gun made for the german shooting enthusiast whom pay for expensive, quality ammo and shoot in reserved quantities.
> be american. Own land.
Gsg;
> w-what are we going to do in this feild mine Kapitän?
> huh? But those are federal bulk! So many dirty rounds.... What are they doing there?
No, i'm made for only hi velocity rounds! Ahhhhbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt
About three bricks of 22 later she's more or less screaming like a gangbanged nazi.
Boil water, add soap, and disassemble 1911. Toss all parts in cooling water and brush the crap off them.
> oh, Kapitän, iz a buble bath!
> b~bitte! Not so rough, my finish will come off!
Set the parts down, run patches through barrel and oil everything until it's dripping
> ah! No it's to tight! My barrel can't be cleaned like this! Hey! No oil there, it's dripping into my inside's. Uahhggg....
>Why is my Kapitän so rough.....
what can i say it's a 1911. I thought she could take the pace...
>>29469699
>>29469729
Okay. Just don't expect it overnight.
>>29469834
Hmmm I have a better idea.
>>29469851
>Kapitän
>not Meister
>>29470805
Only death is her meister.
Beside's i can't be any more sexual towards my gun. It frighten's my other guns.
>>29466396
I have seven.
I lube her up and play with her all the time, but hardly take her out of the house.
Don't let this thresd die please
>>29461324
Do you have any idea what you're doing?
>glock 21
>quit acting like I'm a 1911!
P22: "Thanks for that one, boss! Now, I'm going to proceed to be a pain in the ass to reassemble and refuse to work, causing you to clean me harder next time! Mwahahahah!"
>>29474556
Sadistic little fräulein eh?
>>29474783
The little bastard is sentient, I swear
>>29474862
I have my suspicions about some of my guns as well...
>>29474556
my trick for putting my p22 back together.
Put the spring on the guild rod and compress it all the way down. hold the guild rod in the middle with the spring below your and and put the front of the guild rod through the slide. Grab the front of the guild rod. Then put the side back on.
Next time I do it I'll have someone take a pic.
>>29475276
heh, I found a pic that kind of give you the idea. you hold it like this when you put the slide back on.
>>29469694
The toppest of keks
Commrade do not put your fingers th- AAAAAANNNNNNNUUUUUUUUUU
>>29466396
i bought it for $300
>>29466396
it cost more than 50 bucks and a goat
>>29469694
amen
>>29463885
Underrated post
