>be on date with qt
>she realizes you are carrying
>anon why do you carry that?
whats a casual non autist way to say why you carry?
>>29310369
To protect us....
>>29310369
"Personal protection. If we get jumped by a rapist outside after dinner you can thank me later."
Say you where mugged and you want too be protected.
>>29310369
"I'll show you later"
Nig-aggers.
>>29310369
"hey, as long as it works"
-grabs by the throat-
back the fuck off?!?
"In case I need to overthrow our government tonight"
>>29310369
I don't like the idea of not being able to protect the people I care about
>>29310369
It's my cultural martial art.
please respect my heritage
"I was planning on raping you at gunpoint after dinner"
Say this and watch the panties dropping , just make sure there aren't any cops nearby, they never understand.
>pls no bully
act slick m8
>cus im james bond
*proceed to make a gun gesture with your hand and pretend to blow smoke out of it all while starring her in the eye*
>>29310369
I don't think autists who would carry on a first date are capable of actually getting a date.
>>29310369
Raping you at gunpoint
>>29310369
Self defense, what else is there to say?
>>29310384
>this
>non autistic
Pick one
>Am I being detained?
>>29310369
Tell her you're compensating for having a micropenis
>>29310369
Where the hell is your date at, Popeye's Chicken?
>Better to have and not need, than to need and not have
>Bad things happen to good people all the time
>Walk quietly and carry a big stick
>>29310596
Underrated post, I'm dying anon
I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.
>why
I am a sheepdog. No days off. It's like a seatbelt, you may not need it but you still use it every day. AM I BEING DETAINED? ITS NOT A BILL OF NEEDS. Sorry about your euro cuck mentality, you would like Sweden better. Kill yourself. Etc.
>>29310649
/thread
>>29310649
Probably best. Its an old addage but it's hard to argue against it unless you are full anti.
Or
>why, are you only partially weapons trained?
>>29310369
The fuck are you gonna do about it?
>pull gun out
>"for this"
>shoot her in the shoulders, bullet speeds by ripping her top and bra strip off, tits flop out
>you lay down on the floor, legs around the sides of her chair pushed as close too her as you can
>shoot front chair legs down
>as she is falling foreword you shoot your zipper down and your hard gun boner comes shooting up at full mass.
>aims up and fires another round, slips her panties open as she is getting wet from the gun smoke, action and scene of fear and danger
>slams down on your cock like a trigger hitting the striker.
>she cums as you do circles around her nipples with the till hot barrel of the gun
>she starts sucking the barrel of the gun in the heart of lust, danger and patriotism
>cums on your cock as you shoot your hot load inside of her
>nine months later a new American was born
>>29310430
ROFL
>>29310369
>SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED
>>29310369
"I rob banks."
"I can't tell you, according to my contract."
You guys seriously need game.
>>29310828
Gonna use this
Just say you used to live/work in a rough neighborhood and it became habit.
>>29310369
>On a date with qt
>Talks about how she carries pepper spray because shes always afraid of being attacked.
>mentions I have a gun because same reasons
>"I don't like guns that makes me uncomfortable"
>wut?
>talk about it for a bit, play it off, date goes on as normal.
Just don't be autistic.
>>29310369
>I work as a secret agent
>>29310369
>i was mugged several times throughout my life and even been stabbed before which thankfully i survived but not so much for my friend with me he was killed by the mugger while i was injured and even at home there was several break ins and one of my family members got raped by one of them and ever since i brought a handgun to carry it has saved me from muggers when they realize that i carry a gun and even help saved my family relative when someone broke in to do physical harm to us which is why i carry every day because i have been a victim all of my life and i wish to stop being the victim of such things
If she does not like that then breakup
>>29310910
Did you get another date
>>29310861
"I rob banks" has worked the best for me. Same response I give when they ask what I do for work, makes them interested. Never easily give personal info
It's a counterweight to my thick wallet
>>29310773
solid.
>>29310430
pat mac?
>>29310955
What if I prefer bitches who like punctuation?
>>29311068
sauce?
>>29311068
Source?
>>29310611
>he relaxes outside of nagger zones
It was nice knowing you anon
>>29311039
panties: disengaged
>>29310536
>in the eye
Is she a fucking pirate or a cyclop?
>>29310369
ATF pls go rrreeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29310773
>>29311068
>>29311212
>>29311217
Aino Kishi Secret Investigator
>>29312286
time to fap
>>29310369
>Self-defense of course, you never know what could happen
if they respond with something stupid like "oh this is a safe area you don't need to" you can just say
>hey better safe than sorry
>Dating girls that aren't into guns
literally why senpai?
>>29310596
toppest of keks
>>29310369
This is a pretty rough neighborhood.
>"It's a tradition in my family."
>>29310369
Self Defense.
>>29310369
"It's a part of my religion"
In fact, it's the first tenet.
>>29312681
>can't tell if autisti/k/ or fuckig glorious
>implying there's a difference
all these niggas claiming they're going to valhalla and Im just sitting here weaponizing my existence
Because i live in a city with 180+ murders last year.
>>29310369
"Same reason you wear a seatbelt."
>>29310369
I notice that a lot of people who bitch about this stuff have lengthy threads about tricking dumbass women with shit opinions into bed. If a woman did not like me carrying, why would I go on (or continue with) a date with her? That will obviously not end well.
Man's natural state of behavior is:
>Need sex? Hire 10/10 of the ethnicity of your choice to sit on it, look around enough and you can even find one that resembles the chick you were pining for
>Need companionship? Acquire dog, all the love with none of the bullshit and dramatically less financial obligation
>Need mother for children? Seek out female with non-retarded values and put a seed in her. Choosing inferior women leads to nu-males
>Deny inferior women your penis because the free market outcompetes them and you're a queer if you don't do this
>>29310397
Underrated
>>29312748
>not being Odinist or Asatruar
It's okay anon, you're armed to the teeth so we have that in common.
>>29310369
>"whole cop would be heavy"
>>29312813
Because a lot of people just don't really know better. They've never been mugged, never been in real danger, they don't know anything about concealed carry. All they know is that NBC tells them guns are bad.
People are not always entirely set in their ways, especially if it's on a topic that they know very little about and don't really care that much about.
>>29312813
>>29310369
By moving to a better state
>>29310369
I'm more concerned about after the date if we go back to her place. How the fuck do I make sure she doesn't start fucking with my gun while I sleep?
>>29312870
Sleep with your gun
>>29312870
You leave before falling asleep, duh. Fucking normies.
>>29312868
1. why is he wearing a kilt?
2. why is he trying to lefty crossdraw?
3. why is people spelled wrong?
Because I feel like it
>>29310369
>anon why do you carry that?
The way this is phrased sounds like she's questioning my taste in carry rather than questioning the fact that I carry.
>>29312831
Humanity Fuck Yeah can be extremely autistic, but sometimes it's breddy gud
>>29312995
It clearly reads 'people', and even though americans like to change the order of letters in certain words such as litre, they don't yet write it as peopel.
>>29312995
1. Why aren't you
2. Am I being detained?
3. Edumacation aint for everyone.
>>29310430
>>29313030
made ya look
>>29313026
Agreed, I just saved that one because it's pretty much the only cool one.
I just kept the filename.
Is there anything really wrong with a culture where people openly carry weapons, either loaded or unloaded?
I was looking at the /akg/ thread and the OP image just struck me. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, they live out in the middle of nowhere, a weapon is an accessory that shows power and in some cases wealth.
"Advanced" cultures seem to admonish this notion as wrong or primitive , but it wasn't even a hundred and fifty years ago that people carried swords on their hips in some countries and openly carried hand cannons on their hips in other parts of the world.
I understand that even back then, average unarmed citizens would probably be wary of these people, it still was not the norm, but people were honest with themselves and didn't seem to disregard the right of self defense as unnecessary
>>29313134
People would argue with you that that's proof that it's uncivilized or primitive.
I don't agree, but that's what they'd say
Are you all autistic? Say that you grew up or currently live in a bad neighborhood.
>>29313207
>potential mate, why do you carry a gun?
>because I'm poor
>>29313235
lost it... 10/10, hang man.
>>29313069
>>29313026
I like the one where the space tug guy burns up on reentry while saving an ayy battlecriuser from accidental planetfall.
Hands down my favorite though is the one where earth was slated for stripmining by another species, and human delegates are trying to stop it at a space-court hearing, somehow managing to declare and win their first inter-species war on a technicality in the span of about 5 sentences.
>>29313235
Ok, so you work in a bad area, or better yet, you're such a valuable and important asset to your company that there are people who want to hurt you.
There's just a million reasons better than "have one and not need one than need one and not have one"
>>29313276
Yeah, the good ones aren't where we have biological advantages over the alien races, but where it's about 'human spirit' bullshit.
>>29313285
>There's just a million reasons better than "have one and not need one than need one and not have one"
no, that's the basic idea behind condoms.
>>29313276
>>29313294
post it, plox?
>>29313235
>"grew up in bad area" = forever poor
>implying that people don't change socioeconomic status
What.
>>29313276
>space tug guy burns up on reentry while saving an ayy battlecriuser
I'm curious, I never saw this one. Care to share?
>a short bus is not an RV and it never will be, so stop trying to make me select it, Google
>>29313285
So lying to someone that will eventually figure out you're full of shit is better than logical reasoning?
>>29313294
That being said, Humans are still way better than those blue avatar fucks.
>>29313319
>>29313343
gimme a minute and ill find em
have this for now
>>29310369
>In case of decepticons.
Seriously, it doesn't have to be a kids' cartooon, but play it off as something funny. Much better than super serious "I must protect you."
>>29313397
>>29313343
space tug guy
the other is going to be a little more elusive I think
>>29313397
>>29313464
I appreciate you searching, but these two are heartwarming mostly because they are believable. For all of our faults, we have an odd cavalier nobility about us that would probably be completely baffling if you weren't human enough to truly understand it.
>>29313464
never mind, I found it quick
>>29313516
I concur, last war is hell thread there were a couple soldiers' graves who were buried by the opposing forces
that shit spoke to me. It wasnt like fighting the kebabs at all
>>29310563
>Only carry when it makes you look cool
>>29313542
>It wasnt like fighting the kebabs at all
I expect fighting aliens would be a lot like that, concepts like "don't kill wounded people" would likely not be respected. It's kind of a novel thing in our history anyway, and even then not everyone follows it now.
Post more if you can, I am activating my fukkensaved arrays whenever I read.
>>29313802
heres this one
non-humanity-rules-the-ayys-all-drool ones are kinda hard to come by
>>29310369
>"i was violently robbed once, i dont feel safe without it"
>>29312308
...and I gave up porn for Lent.
One more week! I'll save it for then.
>>29310430
Why is this in the form of a question?
>>29313848
all else i got is borderline autistic.
ill dump those 4 or 5 too though if anyones interested.
here, have some filk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w34fSnJNP-4
>>29312870
>not going in with a pre planned exit strategy
>not at the very least waiting till she falls asleep to gtfo
If you must stay take the mag out and hide it so you don't wake up like Ray Liotta did in Goodfellas
Why do live in such a shitty place? I live in Montana. She would laugh at you if you weren't carrying.
>>29312874
>go back to her place
>start fuckin
>anon removes pants
>anon removes belt from pants
>puts belt on naked body
>continues fuckin
I'm laughing way too hard right now.
Carry at 1 or 11 o'clock on dates
>>29313848
Not the same guy but you might like this story
http://365tomorrows.com/08/04/they-live-in-starlight/
Good site too
>>29314317
>http://365tomorrows.com/08/04/they-live-in-starlight/
well that was an M Might Shalamaladingdong if I've ever seen one.
>>29314317
>Earth
I really saw that coming, I don't know why.
>>29314449
Humans are space boogeymen
>>29314525
I had one like that, where the humans were in this galactic dead zone, and kindof embraced it aking themselves more 2spooky for whatever reason
I didnt save it because i thought it was sorta dumb.
>>29313848
i recommend this one to anybody
here have another too
>>29314674
Oh, the one where basically our entire galaxy was some galactic dead zone that drove all species to mass suicide due to insanity? Then the ayys were afraid of us because nothing should have been able to live in that danger zone. Lol I liked that one.
>>29310419
>carrying dynamite for PP
>walk down wrong alley late at night.
>dindus appear
>"watchu doin here boi"
>pull out stick
>light fuse, then toss to group
>problem solved.
>>29310369
AM I BEING DETAINED
>>29314717
sounds familiar
i tend to save ones that paint us in a better light than that; people with disdain for their species I dont really understand, and I tend to have more faith in my people than that.
P.S. fuck kebabs
>>29314974
>mfw I was born in a time where I can't fly around in a space warship protecting the less-advances races from the meddling of aliums who fucked with us for millennia.
>>29310964
Yes. She got used to it. Broke up a few months later but she was fun when we weren't fighting.
>>29314717
This and about 4 others?
>>29312748
please tell me this is a patch and where to buy it
>>29316207
it was a mock-up made in a patch thread, idk if it was ever made into a patch.
"what, aren't you carrying?"
If she says "no" then I'm leaving
>>29310369
if you arent black then it's a legit question
>>29316563
No big loss anyways, its just Applebee's.
>>29316596
It's more that I wouldn't actually ask a girl out if she wasn't into guns. They're too much a part of my life for me to really consider anyone until the firearms criteria is met.
Ain't got time for bullshit.
Start screaming
SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED
at the top of my lungs
>>29315211
>a baby shark with a penis(...)
This is what I read.
>>29317089
>This is what I read.
You made me get bit by a mighty kekasaurus rex imagining your double-take.
>>29316173
There's more like that? Please share koko.
Because last woman I loved was killed by a gun after being violently raped
I forgot to hide the body and I think there is a warrant out for my arrest.
>>29313036
>I was only pretending to be illiterate!
>>29310596
Kek'd
>>29316638
This really. My girl is cool about them but she doesn't like to shoot really. If I were to move on it would definitely be a requirement that the prospective female be a firearms owner, enthusiast or at least interested in trying/learning.
>>29310596
Bestest answer
>>29310773
>MFW
>>29316173
>>29317349
idk where koko went, but I have two more
cant quite figure out how this thread got derailed to HFY but whatever
>>29310369
I'd probably say what I've said before, you ever been mugged? Doubt its very fun.
>>29313158
maybe if he had an AR...
>"Why not?"
>>29313032
>you fucking bastard, go fuck a whore
>im trying
>bitch cause you brought you Gucci bag and 400 dollar shoes. might as well have a goddamn sign that says "Rob me please". you think I dress like this by accident? naw, i don't want to telegraph i make six figures to every tom dick and dandy.
>>29313439
>fighting decepticons with a handgun
Might as well just tell her you're an idiot.
>>29318215
>>29317349
>>29322588
and I forgot a slash in the name field, guess there's two /k/oko's now...
>>29313032
I can't believe I've never managed to run into autism this bad yet.
>>29310955
Do you live in a fucking ghetto?
>>29322552
I carry 10mm :^)
>>29310536
You don't get out much do you?
>>29310369
>Get close and wisper
>'allahu akbar'
>Sit back down and stare for ~5 sec.
>under the table, start mashing buttons on your digital watch
>eat the rest of her fries as she runs out the door
>order dessert and pay with the purse she left without
>repeat and never spend a penny on food again
>>29310468
Fucking kek
>>29310596
Lel
>>29310381
>"For you"
Happily surprised to see a HFY thread come out of this. Here's one of my favorites, the idea that winning a war doesn't necessarily mean obliterating the enemy.
>>29322716
you ever heard of the concept of lying?
>>29322588
>mfw I get captured by clueless aliums and I unleash my 4chan shitposting training on them
I shall ride to valhalla, shiny and clean.
>>29322603
Thanks for this, based /k/oko
>>29324097
This is a good one, I was trying to post this one myself actually but couldn't find it. Saved it for good measure, thanks.
>>29324202
Sure thing, I love these threads. Have another of my favorites, it isn't often HFY comes with a side of horror.
>>29324388
>88
Ghost of mein fuhrer protect us from this spooky story.
The best HFY are the ones where humans are galactic sluts, willing to fuck there way to the top. Anyone have any of those?
>>29322603
>>29324388
>>29324628
Found something somewhat relevant- posting this while I search more.
>>29324628
>>29324742
Me again, I found just the thing.
While I continue to search, I'll post a few others I like. The last part of this story has a bit of an inevitable horror to it as well; always gives me chills.
Another, "We should have been concerned." A story that depicts us as the wonderfully stubborn bastards that we are.
So, how did this become a HFY thread?
I'm not complaining, but it's a bit weird.
Posting one of my favourites
>>29324977
It all started right here
>>29312831
>>29324977
>>29324999
I didn't intend for it to happen, but it was a happy accident. I think the thread's discussion has been discussed, but this has existed parallel to the original topic for awhile now so if not... no harm no foul I guess? (plus talking about humans fucking up aliums and ayys is pretty /k/ anyway, just need more dragon dildos)
As is custom with our ancient laws it must be said that the OP was a faggot anyway.
>>29313026
this one is my favorite
https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/2aj3cj/tattoo_oc/
>inb4 reddit
>>29325192
Reddit's like every other website on the face of the earth. Some sections are good, some aren't. Anyone who thinks otherwise are no better than the people that think 4chan is consists of only Pedophiles and Hackers
>Except 9gag, that website is condensed cancer
HFY Just so happens to be one of good sections.
>>29325302
The_Donald's pretty good, highest energy banter and shitposting on that site.
>>29310649
>I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.
Kind of like the Uber app bitch. Have fun getting home.
>>29317495
Kek
>>29317495
>Killed after being raped
>not before
Anon you need to get your priorities straight.
>>29310369
For self defense
>>29325302
i like to shitpost on 9gag. they can't feel feel the bait for shit
>>29335099
Sounds fun. Got any good examples?
>>29335840
anything social or political related. blame fatties for being fat, praise trump, make a pro gun comment. anything will work. it's like their jimmies are pre-rustled
