>GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING WALLET FAGGOT OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT
What do?
>>29266723
lol just take the gun out of his hand
>>29266723
"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, SHOOT ME?"
>>29266723
Tom Green fell onto hard times.
>>29266732
you try living off of freddy got fingered residuals
Put my forehead against the muzzle
AM I BEING DETAINED!?
>Reach into pocket
>Withdraw Savage 1907
>10 Shots Quick!
>continue past the remains of the ruffian.
>>29266772
>reach into your pocket
>he shoots you
Great plan pham
>>29266777
>GIVE ME YOUR WALLET
>WHY ARE YOU REACHING INTO YOUR POCKET
>>29266723
>You can have my cash,
But first you know I gotta ask
What made you wanna live this kind of life
>hand wallet
>guy runs
>shoot in the spine
>blame gang violence
>pull his pants down before he can react
>absolute fucking perfect form
>entirely engulf his cock with my mouth
>suck like a god damned porn star
>gobble that sweet cum when it hits my tonsils
>steal his wallet
>leave
>>29266808
not just strong
army strong
>>29266802
>Shut up faggot! just give me the money!
>runs away with cash in hand around the corner
>continues to safe/drug house and sits to catch his breath
>flashbacks of childhood memories and mother
>what have i become
>she wouldn't approve of this
>turns gun on self
>gunshot.jpg
>blanks
>>29266808
Would you be charged with rape or prostitution?
>>29266723
Let him kill me so my family can enjoy the insurance money.
Give wallet, shoot in back. Fuck the law, he was armed, dangerous, and intended on hurting me if I didnt comply. Also take his money, because you have to loot these fuckers for some +1 Boots or maybe like +21 Gold
>>29266818
its self defense
>>29266825
when he runs the situation is over, you life is no longer in danger and you've just shot a person running away from you.
>>29266723
>>29266772
>>29266789
>left hand up in a 'wait' gesture
>sure man, I don't want any trouble, you can have my wallet, etc
>right hand draws pocket carry piece
>fire until dry
>>29266831
Fine. Kneecaps.
>>29266825
>>29266831
just call him a stupid nigger and he'll turn around
>>29266831
Only in cuck states.
>>29266841
NO. That's illegal everywhere, dumb shit. Not allowed to shoot to wound.
>>29266818
Men can't get raped, no matter what some fat MRA here says.
>>29266723
> Give money
> Mag dump as soon as assasins creed tries to run away.
>>29266850
>shooting someone in the back
good luck getting away with that.
>freak out, start pleading
>shakily hand him the wallet with left hand
>use other hand to draw and fire Beretta Tomcat in right pocket
His safety is also on, but I wouldn't mention it.
>>29266845
>NO. That's illegal everywhere, dumb shit. Not allowed to shoot to wound.
>Not allowed to shoot to wound.
what if i don't want to kill him but also want to protect myself by subduing a threat?
>>29266876
>He had his gun pointed back at me officer.
>>29266723
"Haha, jog on mate, everybody knows there are no guns in Australia."
>>29266889
John Howard at work.
>>29266887
>implying anything you tell a responding officer will help you in your court case
>implying you wont be crucified by the media
>implying a jury of your peers wont obey the liberal media and convict you out of ignorance.
>Not carrying edc pocket sand or guinea pig knuckle duster
>cum on guys step it up
>>29266723
>pull out wallet
>toss on ground
>brainblast!.exe his head all over the pavement
>>29266876
>>29266896
>implying I would stick around for the cops to arrive
>implying I wouldn't pick up empty cartridges and get the fuck out asap
>>29266816
>blows his teeth out, permanent tinnitus, and possibly blindness bcus blanks.
>>29266885
Then carry pepper spray or a taser. I'm not joking; what you're talking about is called illegal use of deadly force. If you're trying not to kill someone, you have to use something 'less lethal'. You're also not allowed to fire warning shots under this provision. It's the same reason that woman last year got in so much trouble after she shot out the tire of someone who robbed her. There's a very finite set of circumstances under which you're allowed to shoot another person, and 'in the kneecaps' isn't one of them.
>>29266723
"Give me your daddy cummies."
>>29266723
>flip my trenchcoat open
>draw my obrez'd ptrd-41
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29266802
I hear there is little respite for those of ill repute
>>29266876
>implying he isn't a threat anymore just because he turned around
It's called distraction and it's a viable tactic. I have a right to do everything in my power to protect my life.
>>29266845
> Not allowed to shoot to wound
I'm just a terrible shot officer, I really tried to actually kill him, promise.
>>29266723
I said "No" and he punched me in the face then ran away.
Guess a random mugger won't actually shoot someone in the face.
>>29267082
One guy asked me for my money while threatening me with a knife.
I said "I don't have any" and he just told me to go fuck myself and walked away.
I think I handled it pretty well.
Are there certain states you can shoot a rubber kn the back after he takes your wallet? I fell like if you are robbed at gunpoint you should be given every oppurtunity to kill the man regardless of the circumstances
>>29266813
Kek
>>29266723
JOKE'S ON YOU FAGGOT I DON'T HAVE A BRAIN
>>29267072
I'm sure people do that, too. As long as you say the right things it doesn't matter what you do, just don't loudly declare that you shout for his knees and then be upset when you get booked.
>>29267105
It depends on how your state looks upon the use of deadly force to protect property outside the home. In based PA, a robber doesn't even have to show me a weapon for me to shoot him.
>>29266723
GO AHEAD AND PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER FAGGOT
>give him my wallet because i don't carry cash and can just call my bank and close my account/get any spent money refunded
why kill someone/risk being killed over what is at most a weeks worth of hassle replacing cards?
>>29266816
>Carrying cash
I'm not a fucking Boomer.
>>29266723
>white guy robbing you at gunpoint
lel
>>29266723
Concentrate all of my soccermom rage into my chest and breathe nuclear flames into his face and possibly set the atmosphere ablaze.
>everyone implying they would risk getting shot to hold onto $50 in cash
I didn't knew /k/ was so full of poorfag plebs.
>>29267353
this board is for fantasizing about killing people
>>29267353
Jokes on you I'm doing it because I'm suicidal
If I get shot gg I wanted to die
If I kill him gg I got to kill someone
>>29267353
It's the principle of the thing, and you know as well as I do that simply handing over your wallet doesn't mean they're going to let you go.
>>29267382
Having a plan doesn't mean I want to need it one day. I never want to deal with a house fire either, but you bet your ass I have smoke detectors and fire extinguishers.
>you sound like a fucking anti
>>29266723
I'm poor anyway
>>29267427
yeah, because shooting someone in the back after they mug you is a 'plan'.
>>29266723
DROP THE GUN OR I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK! YEAH YOU THINK *IM* A FAGGOT BOY BY THE TIME IM DONE WITH YOU ILL HAVE YOU WEARING RAINBOW JORTS SWEAR TO GOD ILL SHOW YOUR BALLS THE ATTENTION THEYVE ALWAYS CRAVED AND NEVER GOTTEN ILL WORK THE SHAFT GOOD AND SLOW NOW DROP THE FUCKING GUN OR I SWEAR ILL GIVE YOU THE BEST FUCKING ORGASM OF YOUR LIFE
>>29266885
The mere act of pointing a gun at someone is considered deadly force by most states.
See:
>Lee Wollard
>Marissa Alexander
>Denis Fleming
>>29266723
Give him the wallet in my back pocket with a five, three ones, an expired ID, and some business cards. Maybe he'll look me up on Jewbook later and shit talk me like the degenerate retard he is because I rused him and I'll just call the cops.
>>29266839
Left hand pulls out wallet.
Thief watches fat wallet with bills sticking out.
Right hand reaches for piece.
Shoot thief.
If the thief is holding his weapon in his right hand, he'll either use that instinctively to reach for wallet offered in your left (and held out to the side) or he'll have to cross in front of his own weapon with his left to grab it. Both fuck up his shot.
>>29267446
I wasn't the guy advocating shooting people in the back, by then it's kind of too late.
>>29267473
I carry a throwaway wallet when I visit fucking Maryland. It's a good plan.
>>29267499
Excellent
>give him the wallet
>call at him when he turns
>turns back
>unload, grab wallet, 911.
stop him with my bear hands
>>29267585
>implying anyone would try to rob a bear
You are not fooling anyone
>>29266767
Under-rated post.
>>29266948
... Hes a man not a tank!
>>29267102
...lol. I believe it.
But did you though?
>>29267458
the fact that this might work bothers me
http://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/0315-rozon
>Rozon, greedy and desperate, returned to the gallery a few weeks later and forced the dealer at gunpoint to go to his bank and give him a certified cheque for another $3,000
>Two weeks later, Rozon returned to the gallery and demanded more money at knifepoint, and the dealer cut him a cheque for another $2,000.
This guy would have been ventilated a long time ago if he pulled that shit in America.
>throw wallet on ground
>shoot robber as he picks it up
>>29267701
Yeah, i did have some.
I'm pretty sure I said that because it's the usual response I give to all the beggars and gypsies around, they are pretty common where I live.
It's actually pretty hard to make a good choice in that kind of a situation, or even any choice at all.It's was unexpected and confusing as fuck, everything happened so quickly and I was trying to consider so many things and options in such a short amount of time, I simply got overwhelmed and responded instinctively.
The only other option I was sure about was kicking him once and run the fuck away. I live in no guns country and even though I can technically carry a percussion cap revolver and I own a few of them, I still would get shit on if anyone would ever see me wih it in public and actually defending myself with it would mean jail, no doubt about that. And I could kiss all my guns goodbye, too.
>>29267196
Your life is being threatened, and if you're going to tell me you don't believe he wasn't going to kill over a wallet then why give it to him?
>>29267838
i never said i didn't believe they weren't going to kill me.
>>29267928
Then why not fight? They don't just want your money, they want to get away with it. In some cases that means wearing a mask, in others it means leaving no witnesses.
>>29267973
who shoots someone AFTER mugging them? why not just shoot them before hand?
>>29266732
Lol I was going to comment on kicking Tom Greene in his one good testicle
Take the gun away before he even finishes saying "give me your wallet."
>>29268003
Actually it happens quite a lot
>>29268003
stupid faggot muggers have poor trigger discipline
>>29268016
dont forget to teleport behind him
>>2926672
>Throw wallet a few feet from him (moneyclip in front pocket.)
>wait for ideal moment of distraction
>draw and squeeze until it's dry.
>>29267735
Because it comes off as crazy, and nobody wants to deal with crazy people.
A sane person will either cooperate (fold) or refuse (call). Loonies aren't playing the same game as everyone else. The high functioning ones might know that the game is poker and they're doing their best to play with a Tarot deck. But the nuttier ones are wondering why everyone else sucks so bad at Chutes and Ladders.
>>29266846
That's like saying men can eat but they can't be eaten.
>>29266876
>Gun found at the scene.
>It's not yours.
>>29267561
>relying on a fleeing felon to stop and turn
You must live in Texas or some shitty state that makes you "fight fair"
>>29266731
t. man shot in gut
>>29266723
make me
>>29266772
Where's your trip
Give him my decoy wallet full of monopoly money, Zimbabwe dollars, and pictures of my laughing face
>>29272273
made me think of this
Do you take debit?
>give him wallet
>pull out gun after he turns around
>move
>"your a faggot"
>shoot him when he's facing me
>flip pockets inside out
>couple of quarters come out
sorry buddy
>LITTLE DOES HE KNOW I CARRY MY WALLET IN MY BOXERS
Give him my wallet then shoot him in the back. Simple.
>>29266723
>show him my broken, 4 year old phone
>my beat up, empty wallet
>my torn winter jacket I'm wearing
>and my backpack with duct tape on the zipper where teeth popped loose
>then I hope he feels so bad that he gives me a few bucks before heading on his way
>>29266723
>act like a scared little bitch
>be shaking a lot
>pls no kill mr robber sir
>drop wallet in front of attacker
>when he picks it up, draw and fire
>>29272602
have fun in prison retard
>>29266846
Right on... So if I knocked you out and fucked your butthole for half an hour, you couldnt press charges, right?
The law in most places is worded "penetration, however slight". Technically, a chick couldnt ride your dick and you call it rape, unless you dont reach the age of consent, then it is statutory rape. But if someone put something inside you without your consent, that is most assuredly rape.
>>29272859
perfectly legal in my state
>>29267458
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/12785
Gingerbread that motherfucker.
>>29272905
Lol buddy that isn't even close to legal anywhere.
>>29272905
>>29272944
Both of you fudge packers need to start sourcing your claims.
>>29272944
>>29272954
Texas though.
>>29266723
You ready to dance?
>>29272969
Nope. Pretty sure that's not a legal thing here in Texas. I could always ask my old professor though.. Baylor graduate and 12 year prosecuting attorney for the state.
>>29266723
Reach down for my pocket and then quickly trigger my belt buckle pistol. Killing the robber quickly, and then I take whatever valuables he has on him and go home.
>>29266723
SHOOT ME FAGGOT JUST SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING CUNT COMMON DO IT YOU PUSSY MOTHERFUCKER SHOOT ME IN THE FUCKING HEAD RIGHT NOW DO IT YOU WANT YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH SHOOT ME DO IT
>>29273003
THEY TOLD HIM, "DON'T YOU EVER COME AROUND HERE"
who ever said you was one mel
>Get wallet
>Pretend to hand it to him
>Slap his gun outwards
>Pull conceal carry
>Thief is kill
>>29266723
no thief worth a fuck would ever rob me i look like i dont have 6 pennies to my name and i clearly have more wrath in me than mercy i almost cant even smile anymore its sad
but anyway id draw my FN BHP and drill 16 new large gaping assholes in his torso or my husqvarna 1907 and 9 small tight asshole...depends on what im wearing
>>29273005
fleeing felon rule
>>29266914
worse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-s3SjNJU6A
>>29266723
Fish my wallet out, and exchange it for his pistol.
Then use the pistol to recover my wallet, and hold this guy for the gendarme.
>>29266813
now that's comedy
>>29266723
Suck the gun?
>>29266898
subtle, nuanced, and downright hilarious.
five star post, you magnificent bastard
>>29266767
Upvoted :^)
>>29268367
yeah that'll hold up in court
you're forgetting about the part where every man woman and child has a device in their pocket that can record the actions of others.
you need to come to terms with the fact that you are on camera at all times. even if you dont see the nigger with their phone out. all you'd see are eyes and teeth anyway.
>>29266885
>what if i don't want to kill him but also want to protect myself by subduing a threat?
Then you don't use a gun.
>>29266723
>Reach into pocket
>Give him fake wallet with $20 and a couple deactivated credit cards
>mfw my real wallet is in the inside of my jacket pocket
I'd give him my decoy coin purse with a single Susan B Anthony dollar inside and while he complains about what might be worthless Canadian currancy I'd reach for my concealed carry and shoot him.
>all these fake wallets with real currency
My decoy wallet has 5$ canadian.
>>29274212
That's so that, on the off-chance the mugger looks into it, he doesn't demand "more" because you don't have any money
>hands up to the level of the gun
>act compliant ("I dont want any trouble," etc)
>take hand closest to gun (his right, your left, vice versa) and grab the muzzle of the gun, while simultaneously pivoting body away from line of fire
>figure four assailants arm
>disarm by either shoving gun into ground or sweep kicking assailant
>neutralize assailant (KO, shoot him with his gun if theres no other option)
>spitting on the assailant or witty one-liners optional
congrats, you sacked up and protected yourself.
>>29273236
"DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR FACE, YOU'D BETTER DISAPPEAR!"
>It's 2AM
>Walking home from another day at Walmart
>Be female
>Late 20s
>You're big-boned; you have a glandular problem that makes you pass out if you don't eat a big meal every couple of hours, so you're about 300 lbs
>You're not phased though; the idea of a healthy weight is just something the patriarchy perpetuates, because they want to masturbate to skinny women
>Out of nowhere, some rapist (that's what you call all men these days; they all want to rape you) jumps in front of you and demands to get your wallet
>What the fuck, this shit-lord
>First off, he's demanding that you, a woman, do something you don't want to do. He's literally raping you right now.
>Second, he's culturally apropriating the term wallet, which was really a proto-germanic thing that the English stole
>Third, he's pointing a baby-killing assault pistol right at you
>Scream at him: "Rape!"
>He twitches
>Scream again: "I'm not falling for your patriarchy"
>He starts to sweat, "please..." the words weakly escape from his lips
>Step forward, remove your shirt. You feel empowered, free of the bonds of society
>He collapses on the ground, frothing at the mouth at the sheer amount of feminism that you exude
>It drips down his face, and into his gasping mouth
>Oh wait, that's just your period. You don't use tampons or birth control medicine, because it's just another way that those rapist patriarchs keep women down
>You reach down
>between my legs
>ease the seat back
>She's running
>I'm flying
>Right behind the rear-view mirro rnow
>Got the feeling
>Power steering
>Pistons popping, aint no stopping now!
>PANAMA
>>29274467
"THERE'S FIRE IN THIER EYES, AND THEIR WORDS ARE REALLY CLEAR."
>>29273462
TXfag back..
http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/Docs/PE/htm/PE.9.htm#00
You can not use deadly force to stop someone from fleeing just because he committed a felony and is trying to get away. You can use force and sometimes deadly force to protect yourself, a third person, your property, or a third persons property.
>>29266723
>Noon-ish in texas
>be walking home from local diner
>OP's thug shows up
>GIMME YOUR WALLET
>place wallet on ground and step back
>yell as loud as possible: "THIS LOUISIANAN FAGGOT DOESN'T LIKE DR. PEPPER!"
>leap into prone ASAP
>nearby windows are shattered by gunfire
>Mother flips stroller around and fires from cover
>Old man fires rounds from 12G walking cane
>MIddle eastern store clerk and family fire kalashnikovs from parking lot
>Hicks fire shotguns from lifted dually extend cab mudhogger
>wait till carnage ends and take wallet
>loot corpse
>leave before cops show up to arrest his corpse from crimes against the lone star state
>>29276699
So if i had to 'dispose' of an enemy should i use that, or suggest he likes his chili with beans?
>>29273462
>gib wallet motherfucker
>k
>he starts running away
>hey nigger!
>oh u done it now you honkey motha fuka BANG BANG BANG
>dijibooty shooty.jpg
>take back wallet
>officer this man tried to rob me at gunpoint but I reached for my gun instead of my wallet and shot him first
>Tell him I don't have my wallet
>"Don't fuck with me."
>"Alright, alright, I keep some bills in my sock behind my ankle."
>My hands are above my head
>He walks up behind me and kneels down to check my sock
>Fart in his face and enjoy the greatest guffaw before your brains are blown out.
>>29276712
I would think that hitting two hated things instead of just one would be more effective. Depends on the city.
>>29266839
wait a minute...
what if we made "wallet" holsters...
that looked like actual wallets?
>>29266839
>>left hand up in a 'wait' gesture
>>sure man, I don't want any trouble, you can have my wallet, etc
>>right hand draws POCKET SAND
>>POCKET SAND
>>29266802
>He replied
There ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
I got bills to pay
I got mouths to feed
Ain't nuthin in this world for free
>>29266876
>yell something insulting after he runs
>he turns around to confront you
>shoot him dead
Perfect.
In all seriousness though I wish you could shoot robbers in the back. He has no right to take my property. And you know damn well a few generations ago no one would give a shit if you shot a robber. Idk when the robbers life became worth more than the innocent persons property but it pisses me off.
>>29277208
In California you can still pursue an attacker.
Total situational awareness failure. By this point, you've already lost the fight before it even began. Attempting to fight back will only get you shot.
>>29277158
No, I can't slow down, I can't hold back
even though I wish I couuuuuuuld
Yeah there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good.
>>29274648
>your property
Uh, it's right there anon, in the muggers hands.
>>29266723
Well since I live in a state where the majority of people don't go around wearing hoodies and fingerless gloves I would have shot him when he tried pulling that gun on me since he would be sticking out like a sorethumb and I would have noticed him.
>>29277421
>prosecuting someone before they commit a crime
We minority report now
>>29266723
>grab gun with left hand and pull it forward and away
>push head far to the right
idk, trip him after that
Just give him the wallet.
It's not a huge deal, just cancel cards. Only thing in my wallet right now is an AMC movie readmission slip.
I'd be more bummed because I love my wallet.
