>be you
>enjoying hot dogs with your cat
>look out window
>six men approaching your residence
>two have rifles, two have handguns, two have melee weapons
>you have approximately one minute until they break down your front door
>unknown motives
>unknown level of training
What do you do???
>>28466047
Get my loaded valmet m78 open fire
>>28466047
Leave out the back door
>>28466047
The most important thing is:
What color are they?
Take off all my clothes and start masturbating, works every time
>>28466047
Leave through my back door and hop the fence.
>>28466064
>valmet M78
Pics or it didn't happen
>>28466047
>>you have approximately one minute until they break down your front door
Grab AK sitting 1' away from me as I write this email, chest rig with 6 mags, stand 20 feet away from front door and unleash magazine after magazine of glorious Soviet hell upon invaders.
I then let kitties feed on the corpses of the dead men. Cats are Savanahs, they like warm meat every now and then.
I then take the money I saved by not having to buy cat food and replenish bullets shot.
>>28466047
Running away would really be the besto ption here
Six men, whereas two have rifles, and their level of training is unknown. You wouldn't really be able to realistically fight these people by yourself.
>>28466047
>grab a couple stripper clips and my mosin
>tell wife to get her shotgun
>position at corners from door
>wreck anyone who puts a limb in the door way
>because castle doctrine
>>28466047
Jokes on you my cat is a lion
>>28466111
/thread
>>28466116
p.s. my "cat"
is 3 pitbulls about 60-70lbs each
So I imagine they will be preoccupied with the dogs
>mag dump 30 round assault clip from mini 14
>mag dump p64
>get nugget
>affix bayonet
>mag dump while charging
What else would I do???
>>28466090
This
Also, what color are you.
Since I'm yellow, I don't have to worry about that.
>>28466141
>Since I'm yellow, I don't have to worry about that.
Wut?
So are you one of the cool asian gun owners, or one of the wannabe-operator-penis-compensating gun owners?
>>28466141
What kind of yellow?
I'm Korean and if I see Japs storming my house I will shriek gook insults at them and rape their corpses.
>>28466047
I live in a condo with the front door at the end with an L shaped corridor.
I get my AR from the safe and lay on the ground with my torso sticking around the corner and as soon as they start breaking the front door I open fire at the door until they shoot, then I retreat 90 degrees away and take a position at the end of the hallway and supress them if they try to enter.
>>28466187
Koreans are okay in my book.
Most of the chinese guys I see with guns are very retarded.
>>28466114
>Six men, whereas two have rifles, and their level of training is unknown. You wouldn't really be able to realistically fight these people by yourself.
The choke point is your front door. Let 3-4 of them break it down and you can easily mow them down as they illegally enter into your home to cause you unknown issues.
>>28466047
Laugh at them as the try to break down my door.
>>28466047
Open door and ask them to join me in some hotdog eating. I have plenty it would seem.
>>28466202
Fuck, I should get a North Korean uniform and an AK so any niggers will see me screaming DEATH TO IMPERIALIST WEST in Korean.
NEW SCENARIO:
They are all 6 '2 black men with knives who have a track record of doing nuffin.
hard mode: no guns allowed
>>28466187
Koreans are bro tier. Can't trust the Chinaman worth a damn.
Unsure about Japs.
Vietnamese are just mexicans with slanted eyes and fish breath.
Grab my pistol and my phone and run out the back door, what the fuck are you going to do against six armed people by yourself?
>>28466236
There are no black people in my country, tell them to get off of my rice fields.
>>28466047
I live on campus in a dorm, so I'd barracade myself in my room and pray to Obama that they're just misunderstood youths who want to make me check my privilege, but expected resistance from me.
I'd be kill't
1 shot of buck per nigger
>>28466261
And it wouldn't even make it on the news
>>28466162
I like to think of myself as a casual enthusiast. No overcompensating I can think of
>>28466187
Malaysian. No natural predators. Other than Philippinos. But all the ones I know are cool.
OP HERE.
Readjusted scenario: FOUR men, two rifles, two pistols. They all belong to the predominant racial group in your area.
Hard mode:
>save your cat
>>28466246
Vietnamese girls are top tier.
>>28466386
Mexicans
Knowing mexicans, I would say 90% are bad shots. That being said still hide behind a corner and blast them with 00. After all is said and done I would just walk past them with my kitty cat in hand
>>28466386
I'm fine: I'm also white, and we all end up playing Xbox and they show me their guns while I tell them about mine back home.
Cat was petted and enjoyed by all, and thank God we had enough hotdogs for everybody.
>>28466162
All Azn gun owners are fucking retarded from what I've seen
>>28466236
That would be hillarious.
I throw my kukri onto my spare shitty pistol belt, click that on, slip my PC with SAPI plates on, and grab my ironwood jo (armpit length staff).
I meet them in my tiny entryway armored, brandishing a staff, and with an 18" kukri in reserve.
>>28466477
Weeaboo detected
>>28466236
>>28466236
grab swords
I mean... yeah...Japanese swords
>Pull down my pants.
>Aim my ass at them.
>Unleash hell.
>>28466236
Grab my crossbow and load it, when they break down the door shoot the first one through, reload and shoot second, and if they're still coming flee out the back, then call police once I've escaped.
I would rather have a compound though, so I can reload while on the move
>>28466523
i already assumed they were black
>Load shotgun with dragons breath for just this occasion
>Strap arisaka I got for free from friend to my back fully loaded with assault sword bayonet fixed
Let the games begin
>>28466527
My sides are interdimensional.
>>28466246
Viet are pretty great honestly, unlike Mexicans they tend to be educated and assimilate fairly readily into white culture.
>>28466541
That's what I originally thought, and why the game plan didn't change
>>28466386
>grab flamethrower
>acquire cat
>activate ship self destruct
>run to escape craft
>get away just at ship blows
>hopefully minorities perished on ship, and are not in escape craft
>finally able to relax
>in skivvies
>all of a sudden 4 Mexican hands reach out from behind a panel
>horyshit.jpg
>what do
>idea
>get into spacesuit
>open steam valve over Mexicans
>they start screaming
>itsworking.gif
>time to get rid of them once and for all
>open door to space
>screaming Mexicans get sucked out
>close door. Finally relax
>cat still in box
>put me and cat into cryosleep until someone finds us
>>28466527
BASED
A
S
E
D
>>28466555
Asians are far and away my favorite minority, hands down: they tend to be the best by a long shot.
I've met some pretty cool Hispanics though as well
>>28466550
Also call the roof Koreans that hate niggers that live across the street from my house, get them in a pincer move
>>28466219
What about windows, or other doors? What if they take cover and start throwing grenades or moltovs?
I can't imagine this scenario ending well for me unless I run away.
Otherwise, i call 911, I run, grab my plate carrier and rifle. I keep 3 magazines on the pc, so that's 120 rounds for 6 men. If I have time, I'm running for a window and killing those riflemen, then immediately breaking contact and moving further into the house. If I can discover their point of entry, I'm setting up behind cover facing the entry with an avenue of escape. Shoot the first man through, keep fire on the door till they decide its not a good idea to come in that way. By now if I did everything right, I've killed 2 or 3 of them, the police are on their way, and they'll run away.
This is a best case scenario.
>>28466236
Open mail slit
Fire bear spray at them
Call cops
Laugh madly as they are rendered blind and helpless
Throw cat at intruders. Then shoot them in the face. Put hot dogs in their new face holes and share on facebook.
>>28466111
>Savannahs
Post pics
>>28466236
As soon as my 90-something pound german shepherd smells fried chicken he'll be at the door barking
In much the same way that jews fear the samurai,
Niggers fear the doggo
This distracts them temporarily
Once they move in anyway, they realize that my outer door is perforated sheet metal and most if not all my windows either have burglar bars or are too small fit through
Anyone who manages to get through gets stabbed with whatever knife happens to be closest,
Or bludgeoned with a nailbat while trying to climb through a window that's at least
5 feet off the ground
>>28466322
Met a couple of Malaysian peeps I thought they were filipino. But they really cool. But I'm filipino and I wouldn't trust em. Filipinos shoot on site is what I say.
>>28466187
>I will shriek gook insults at them and rape their corpses
>>28466137
You must be ATF for wanting you dogs to be shot
>>28466047
>>you have approximately one minute until they break down your front door
>>unknown motives
>mfw "unknown motives"
>>28469108
>fleshpound
>as commando
Nigga you dead.
>>28466476
I definitely see a trend, but I wouldn't say all of them are.
>>28466187
>I'm Korean
Do you have a sister
>>28466236
>Get cleaning supplies
>bleach+ammonia=lol
>gas living room
> walk out back door
My "cat" is half border collie half lab. I think he has mange of something because he's missing clumps of hair all around his body. He also has a brown haze around from living outside without a bath for 8 years. He's cool tho
>>28466047
Grab ammo box under desk, Garand, and phone get distance between me and attackers, load AP as nothing will be cover for them. Get rangerbro on the horn, fox in the coup, need assistance. Call the sherrif as well. If they come outside its a killing field, if ranger bro arrives before sherrif I'm Safe. Sherrif gets here first its fish in a barrel.
>>28466047
Its obvious.
Just set up my emergency claymore in front of my door.
>>28466236
>Hard mode
Grab Khukri
Yell Ayo Ghurkhali followed by a rebel yell.
Hope I don't bleed out and take at least one with me.
>>28466137
The fuck?are your dogs belimic? All pitbulls i have seen hit 90 pounds plus. then again i live in a neighborhood with mostly mexicans and they tend to "beef" up their dogs
>>28469630
Are you retarded?
>>28466236
>this is my moment
Wait till they're in my living room before chucking in the grenade I still have from when I was in the army.
>>28466047
leave out the back door
in one minute detonate the ANFO charge under my entranceway
>Pause taking this shit
>no time to wipe ass, still wash hands as to not taint my beautiful rifle
>rush back to my bedroom, dick flopping about because I went to the bathroom nude
>no time for clothes, grab SKS
>load her up with 7.62 REAL FUCKING WARSAW PACT
>Play Polyushka Polye through a giant pair of speakers on full blast
>Stand in the middle of the living room and take aim at the door
>gunmen have difficulty getting it open because I modified it to open outwards instead of inwards
>once they finally figure it out they bump into a screen door that I set up, confusing them
>timed the music perfectly that the crescendo hits right when I start to light them up like how Lewis lit up the Griswold Christmas tree
>dust settles and my lazy ass bulldog starts licking my balls
>>28466078
Only correct response
>>28466047
Lock my door.
>>28468448
Your Shepard is only 90lbs? Mine hit 120lbs and could scale 12ft fences with ease when asked to. He wasn't fat either he was super lean...did I get a mutant shepard?
>inb4 9 scoops C'MON
>>28466569
>mexicans
No one else gets it, but you are a clever motherfucker
>>28466047
Considering where I live. Go to the door and yell: "Fuck off ATF It's a cat NOT A DOG!"
>>28466255
>>28466047
>>28466386
>grab 12 gauge and a few boxes of 000 ammo
>tfw no AR because poor
>move dresser
>hide behind becase >tfw no escape
>.357 in dresser for backup
>sit behind dresser and wait for them to try to come down hallway
>shoot through wall if I know they're there
>tfw can't run away because no real back escape
>>28466047
Delete my CL ad and blindfold my wife before letting them in.
>>28468127
I second that /r/!
>>28466493
Weeaboos don't buy expensive jos just because they are weeaboos.
I'm a weeaboo that used to do aikido thank you very much.
You could say that if I had a katana.
ITT - Dog owners butthurt when they own cats in an imaginary scenario.
>>28466236
Grab my trusty Gladius and buckler and go to work
>>28466100
Maybe he's a finn lad
>>28468448
That's racist Jews hate German shepherds too
>>28466095
>your move, mister burglar man!
>>28473996
>be burglar
>happen to be gay
>extremely horny, decide to burgle homes to distract from raging erection
>break in
>see guy on internet masturbating to pictures of guns
>secks his butt
>grab SKS
>put on vest with ten loaded stripper clips in pouches
>load SKS
>tactically exfil using back door
>wait for dindus to enter home
>Re enter house through the front door, putting me behiond them
>Remove rifle carrying dindus
>Remove problem solver carrying dindus
>remove dindus armed with sticks
>Call police and say that I shot six armed intruders
>Wonder why the fuck I was dating hot dogs
>>28466569
Kek
>>28466095
>you just activated my trap card!
>>28466231
do it anon live your dreams
Grab Belgian FNC Assault Rifle, extra mags, gas mask, couple of tear gas and prepare their anus.
Once finished those assholes, its time...
To eat some waffles whilst looking at poor bastard.
>>28466231
>Korean
>saying imperialist and pronouncing the L and R
>>28466047
Grab my Dummy grenade off desk
Pull pin and throw it out the door yelling "Grenade mother fuckers"
use the fright and confusion to grab my AR
take cover by window and use the confusion to send them to their maker
work done pull out a carton of blue bunny from the fridge and watch Mike Tyson Mystery's
>>28474689
TOP FUCKING KEK
>tell them not to enter hoping the queen will save me
>break in saying I need pay my TV licence fee
>they steal everything and rape my wife
>throw teaspoon at them
>get sent jail for 20 years for assault with a deadly weapononized spoon of terror
>shit was ₱ tho
>>28466047
Claymore.
(I see the light I see the light I see the light)
Seriously, if they got past my signs, and lights, and cameras, and fence, and dogs, they mean harm to me and mine.
>>28466236
Grab blow gun, prick self and shoot them. They beat my ass but now they have AIDS
