armytimes.com/story/military/2015/12/30/army-needs-volunteers-eat-only-mres-21-days-straight/78011512/
Army needs volunteers to eat only MREs for 21 days straight
Dear god, the turd will be like a bowling ball...
So basically like going on training. I don't see what the problem is, MREs are delicious.
>>28377207
>So Anon, the experiment would only allow individual testing of each packaged MRE flavor for three weeks.
>What do I get sir?
>You get, uh, Vegetable Omelet.
>>28377207
God, I want to see the progress noted on this study.
> Day 1: Subject is in good spirits, saying "I love MREs! I used to eat them with my Dad on camping trips. I get to eat the pound cake AND help my nation's army? Sounds like a win-win to me!"
> Day 5: Subject is still happy and excited about the project: "They're not bad at all. Some of the meals are even great. I love the spaghetti and meatballs. And of course, the pound cake is always good."
> Day 10: Subject has become quite subdued as of late and has abandoned his recent attempts at mixing meal components to create hybrid foods: "Goddamnit, I don't care if you mix that shit with grape jelly... there is no fucking way to make the chicken and rice edible. It's just fucking horrid. What if.... what if they just made the entire MRE out of those tiny Tabasco bottles? It would be an improvement."
> Day 15: Subject is alternately sullen and angry, demanding dietary fiber supplements and/or release from the project. Both have been denied: "Seriously. I need to shit. Nothing has come out of my asshole in a week. I... I need something, guys. I hear voices at night. They're coming from inside me. Please. I need to shit. Metamucil. Fucking Brussels sprouts. I don't care. I need to get rid of this thing."
> Day 20: Subject is noncommunicative with staff and has been muttering to himself in a language not understood by others. He has also decorated the inside of his habitat with strange runes painted with the jalapeño cheese portion of the MRE meals: "Chtullu.... Chtullhu ftaghnh hai...... he sleeps... he hungers....."
>>28377305
>> Day 10: Subject has become quite subdued as of late and has abandoned his recent attempts at mixing meal components to create hybrid foods: "Goddamnit, I don't care if you mix that shit with grape jelly... there is no fucking way to make the chicken and rice edible. It's just fucking horrid. What if.... what if they just made the entire MRE out of those tiny Tabasco bottles? It would be an improvement."
That rice aint bad I like the consistency that you can just take a bite out of it like a brick if you squeeze a bit out of the opening. Those BBQ corn kernels were an improvement with the ravioli too the old corn things were totally inedible to me without mixing them into the main meal.
>>28377294
You feeling alright?
>>28377303
>This is not the hell I signed up for, sir.
>>28377207
Why do civilians think consuming MREs regularly is just some kind of intestine ending ordeal?
Like, you don't actually believe the bullshit stories people come up with on /k/ right?
>>28377207
TL;DR if you're in Natick they'll give you $200 to eat nothing but free MREs for three weeks.
http://www.army.mil/e2/c/downloads/418620.pdf
Register there. Someone go get paid. I'd do it if I were there.
this is the 3rd thread now. Please check the catalog before making a thread
>>28377093
>>28375588
>>28377294
it'd be more nutritious and healthy to eat mcdonalds for 21 days.
>>28377333
If you keep your fluids up, you shouldn't get constipated while eating MRE's.
>>28377358
It's that easy, but for some raisin people think you're gonna die if you consume it regularly.
Not like people have lived on far worse for far longer before.
>>28377353
Pls cite source.
>>28377294
Sure, so is fast food and pig fat. They're not designed to be a sustained food source, just a field ration. There's not much protein in them, just fat and salt for easy calories and taste.
He is going to get absolutely destroyed
>>28377364
Not that guy, but you can get a salad at McDonald's. So, yeah... probably more healthy
>>28377305
>he hungers
>>28377374
>salad
>in combat
Huuuuuuuuuur
I didn't take a shit long enough for me to be hospitalized because of MREs and probably an element of me not hydrating enough.
I have internal scarring, but on the upside MRE shits give me zero problem anymore. Its like giving birth to your 20th child.
Good luck to these brave souls
>>28377391
> combat
> having anything to do with whether McDonald's food is more healthy than MREs
Goddamnit, people. This is why we can't let the fucking waterheads on the internet.
>>28377207
My MRE shit was horrible. 3 weeks and no shit. Then suddenly the pain had me go from standing to laying in the middle of Dicks Sporting Goods groaning like a rape victim. After a minute the pain subsided enough for me to make my way to the bathrooms, my vision slightly blurred. Once I assumed the position, all I could do was grab the handicap bar and hold on for dear life. It was a horrible pain that washed over me, but it kept happening, no matter how hard I tried to suck the turd back up to stop the pain. Everything was involuntary - from the low, pained and constant grunt through gritted teeth to my fucking feet pushing against the floor on my fucking tip-toes trying to escape what was happening.
Then, all of a sudden it was a blur when the turd made it past my insides and evacuated - that 1 second was just ecstasy but it also felt exactly like the moment I had drowned and everything went dark when I was a young kid. After, all I could was sigh and wipe the Holocaust from my ass. For the next 30 minutes I was in a daze while looking at clothing and firearms.
>>28377419
>Still no sources cited
Waiting.
>>28377425
> still not going to cite sources, either
Dude, if you can't figure out that relatively fresh food involving actual leafy green vegetables is probably better for you on on long run than some shit that's been in a bag for years like weirdassed Fallout food, then the word of God himself isn't going to help.
Take the troll to the /pol/. We're full here.
>>28377358
that's the issue. There's plenty of idiots.
i went without shitting for 18 days once
i could do this easily
>>28377446
>w-when i said mcdonalds i obviously meant the salads, i-idiot
The lettuce leaf or two on the greasy burger isn't really that nutritious, m8. Their is some vitamin loss as a result of the packaging process but the sort of meal you'd get from an mre is still far more nutritious than 95% of the orders mcdonalds serves and the menu in general.
>>28377453
any story to go along with that?
>>28377207
I've done it before. By god i can do it again.
Err?
>>28377493
Holy crappers!
It's my first time being the 20th poster, so I wanna be That Guy!
Soo...~
>Source?
>>28377519
Dude, if you can't figure out that whatever claim I've made is true without any proof you're beyond helping so i won't bother.
>>28377207
Its not like i didn't do this for 5 months in Afghanistan
>>28377517
Err?Rah?
>>28377515
lets just say follow the doctors guidelines for how many pain meds you should take
>>28377338
post more shit stories, MRE or otherwise, I'll dump what I got
>>28377453
Go back to your hut, Dzigbode...
>>28377601
>>28377207
I ate MRE's for 15 days when on ops. I did a shit that came out like a length of 3 inch electrical flex cable. It was about 3 foot long and perfectly symmetrical. No hair, blood or fluid attached to it. A perfect cylinder about 2 and a half foot long. The guys were amazed when I called them over to have a look. One of them said it looked like a snake.
Didn't even leave a mark when I wiped my ass. Wipe was perfectly clean.
Told the Doc about it during a check up. He got really concerned and gave me vitamin B shots.
>>28377630
>>28377676
Keep dumping
>>28377761
sorry bout that
>>28377868
>>28377333
I dont know about the current mre. But the desert storm era airforce ones. With that survival cookie bar. They would bind you up
>>28377422
That poor bathroom janitor
>>28377898
I haven't had any problems with them other then when I just refused to shit for 4 days. if anything I've met more people who get the diarrhee from MREs, rather than being constipated
/k/, I did this for the past week and gained 10 lbs. And I haven't taken a shit in a while.
>>28377881
anyone have the one where an anon decided to cobble together like 4 or 5 MRE's into a full course dinner for two and proceeded to give it to a girl he was dating in an attempt to impress her with his "cooking" skills?
>being such a non-combat boot you can't handle three weeks of MRE's
>having such a weak digestive tract that you can't shit regularly on an MRE only diet
Pepper your angus
>>28378441
Yes, I want to read that again.
>>28377915
They give me the runs myself. Lived on mres and expired percocet for 3 months when I got stuck in Louisiana during Katrina.
>>28377564
>whatever claim I've made
What is: Burden of Proof
>>28377207
why this
>>28377207
Ive eaten 2 mres a day for a 2.5 weeks before. I only had 2 hot meals the whole time.
I was fine
I gained 10 lbs over the last 2 weeks and have taken a shit maybe twice over this time. I never eat the entire MRE but that's my sole food source.
Is this grounds for laxative use?
If you're allowed to take stool softeners and laxatives it wouldn't be so bad.
Not something I'd volunteer for but whatever.
