Where's the safest place to shoot yourself?
Say you're on the frontlines and you need a non fatal gunshot wound to get you off the front and taken to the rear.
>>28267137
the foot. Pussy
The dick.
You giant fucking pussy
>>28267137
femoral artery. don't worry most medics can fix that shit easy with modern tech
>>28267137
the pelvic bone away from major veins and nerves joints and your genitals.
it's gonna be fucking painful and a long rehabilitation but you can expect full range of motion and nobody will expect you to to anything with a broken pelvis
I'd probably just fire a round through my earlobe and then shouted the blood around my face and neck, then stagger back to the rear pretending to be disorientated and concussed. Guaranteed ticket home and lifelong army benefits.
>>28267195
You don't get sent for shit like that, heck if the injury isn't mobility threatening chances are very good that you'll be back on the front relatively soon.
>>28267137
>>28267091
same fag
>>28267137
foot. worst is you get an amputation, best is you lip for life. Protip: don't get fucking shot
>>28267152
>>28267137
This.
So you can't produce POG offspring.
>Joins armed forces
>Pew pew pew takes him out of his safe space
>Play stupid games win stupid prizes
>>28267331
>Play stupid games win stupid prizes
if i ever hear this irl, i'm punching the guy that said it in the face
>>28267152
Meh, OP is already a dickless faggot
pinky toe
or graze the buttocks
>>28267137
Head
>>28267348
Ditto. Worst meme of all time.
Best can do without MRI or X-ray. Five pin and sixteen screw. Would not recommend. Take four month walk again.
>>28267492
Ouch bro.
>>28267137
anyplace where a tourniquet can be properly applied you dumbshit, but there is ALWAYS a risk of death you dumbshit.
>source me, been shot, talked alot to doctors during recovery about gunshot wounds
>>28267545
>two "you dumbshit"s
Reads poorly, get more diverse with your insults.
>>28267137
>on the front lines
Just stand up from behind cover and yell "Send me home you ugly fucks".
>>28267137
GSW's do not work that way. They don't always go straight through, it can hit and travel where ever the fuck it wants and exit somewhere no where near where it went in. Fucking don't be a shit head and be in the military if you don't want to be file exceptions or whatever political shit there is. Damn seriously shooting yourself safely could anyone ask a stupider question on purpose. for fuck sakes.
>>28267137
Your ear. Youll either look like a gauged up hipster or a calf with an earmark. Either way your a faggot.
>>28267348
>lunge and attack the person
>its a CCW carrier
>faggot dead, shooter cleared of all charges in self defense shooting
>>28267897
play stupid games, win stupid prizes :>)
>>28267137
The hair
My gf wants to be shot "for the experience" very badly. She's a medfag with degree and all and she's genuinely curious as to how it feels. She first asked for a full-sized rifle round but I called her retarded. She kept pestering and I keept telling her she's retarded, but if she pays the medical bill and has medical professionals on-hand i'll shoot her in the calf with a low-velocity .22
gut, so long as you can avoid the spine.
Your balls.
Since you have none anyways.
>>28268050
Sounds like a good plan. Build up that bullet immunity by starting with .22, and then you can move on to bigger rounds later.
>>28267137
When we say shoot your foot, you know we don't mean center mass right ? If you ever shoot the middle of your foot you will never walk again. Instead go for outsides of your feet near your heel.
Also do not shoot of your big or little toe or you will never walk right again.
all of these idiots saying the foot are retarded
want to never walk properly again? jesus
shoot yourself in the ass with a 380 hollowpoint, its the definition of a flesh wound. you'll be off your feet for a few weeks at least, might get sent home, but you'll heal eventually
>>28268050
>>28268097
>>28267137
First off, don't. At close range the powder will get dragged into the wound and give a distinct burn on the inside of your guts.
Second, your non-dominant hand. That's your left hand if you are a righty.
Third, close range burns are distinctive. A good medic will know what to look for.
>>28267411
Besides the dick in his mouth
>>28267137
Don't shoot yourself, get someone else to shoot you in the safest location.
They'll be able to tell from the angle that you've shot yourself and you'll get into trouble. :^)
>>28268050
i would like to know how it feels to get shot
what i don't want however is the scar tissue, nothing that heals will be as good as before i have multiple injuries and it's all building up i feel like an old man sometimes even tho i'm in my prime.
tell her she is retarded and be glad she is healthy.
>>28268232
silencer will take care of powder burn issues
Down through your mandible
with a low power round, the foot. enough fat to keep it from falling off, but damaging enough to keep you from being useful and get a discharge
with a full powered rifle round? probably low center of mass and to the side, so your hip area. if you're lucky you don't lose much movement but the time to recover is a huge bitch, also it hurts like shit
>>28272837
i've read it's not a very distinctive kind of pain, basically just like being pierced hard by something hot that doesn't come out
>>28267255
>>28267137
>>28267742
The US absolutely dose pull anyone off the front demonstrating serious self harm behaviors. Hell, if you cut on your inner thighs like a teenage girl you will get a nice cozy trip back to the world and plenty of time talking to doctors about why you have so much sand in your vagina.
>>28272837
It's hugely dependent on the area wounded. I've treated people that complained of cramping and a sensation of heat, though that was partly blood loss I think (blood is about 38 degrees so it feels hot coming out).
Pretty much anything that traumatizes the sciatic nerve seems to cause indescribable levels of pain that can reoccure for years.
>>28268050
>My gf wants to be shot "for the experience" very badly. She's a medfag with degree and all and she's genuinely curious as to how it feels. She first asked for a full-sized rifle round but I called her retarded. She kept pestering and I keept telling her she's retarded, but if she pays the medical bill and has medical professionals on-hand i'll shoot her in the calf with a low-velocity .22
Even with her written approval, it's still a fucking crime and you would be liable. DO NOT DO IT.
>>28268050
Shoot her with air rifle first then see if she still wants to get shot.
>>28267141
/thread
Provided you don't want to be a cripple the rest of your life
>>28268232
I've heard that in WW2 some troops shot themselves trough a wooden board as to not leave burnmarks.
>>28272855
i'm not a pain connoisseur or something.
when i was big into martial arts i always tried to push past my limits. i got some lasting injuries because of this stupidity. getting kicked in the thigh with shin repeatedly until the guy who did the kicking couldn't take it left me with deformed muscle tissue.
i just want to know how much it hurts and how much mobility i can retain. to get a good idea of course you need to get shot a lot cause a hot in the femur will be different from the shot in the calf etc... i don't really want to get any more fucked up tho. lasting injuries totally suck.
>>28267137
Chest
>>28267195
>Firing a gun close to your ear.
>>28267348
>>28267897
>>28272962
So instead of a burn, they have bits of filthy wood in the wound channel..Okay then.
>>28267137
Your CO.
>>28267137
In your case, the head. Pussy.
>>28273333
quads confirm
/thread
> get shot in butt
> get icecream
> moon president
> ???
> and that's all i have to say about that
>>28267348
>implying this isnt at all true....
>>28268050
First shoot her with a frozen paintball and then see if she still wants to be shot by a real firearm.
>>28268050
shoot her in the head, no chance of damaging anything important
>>28272855
OP should know how it feels to be pierced hard
>>28267137
I don't know why you would shoot yourself
there are much better ways of injuring yourself that make it less obvious your injuries were self inflicted
stick your foot under some kind of vehicle
badly burn your trigger hand with a portable stove
tie a red cloth on your leg and stick it out of cover, you may as well make the enemy waste a bullet
added bonus of being a combat casualty rater than an accidental injury
jump off something and do your ankle, make it look like a real accident
>>28267348
More like smashing their face in with a 16 oz framing hammer
Or if I'm feeling sly pop a nail off at them from my gun when they're not looking, I can pass it off as an accident
>>28267137
Assuming your country issues you a 9mm sidearm, literally anywhere. The problem is that the medic will probably just laugh and give you 800mg of motrin.
>>28267137
just jump off the roof of something and break your ankle, no need to go through shooting yourself and trying to hide the fact that you did it intentionally.
Unless of course your plan is to tell people back home "i got shot on the front lines guise", in that case you're a faggot.
>>28273249
Exactly what I thought.
>>28267137
How about not signing up in the first place if you're going to be a pussy. You signed a piece of paper saying that you're going to fight and or die for that oil, now get back out there and do it!
Got hit by a 5.56 ricochet in my forearm. Felt a dull thud then a simmering burn. Shot about 3 whole mags before I decided to check what it was. Buried half way through the muscle, got pretty close to the bone.
> 1/4 inch punch for reference
>>28272952
>>28273619
These first.
She will get the point.
Start small and work your way up.
Airshit
Paintball
High powered pellet gun
Low powered .22
Normal .22
.50 BMG
By the time you get to the .50 her calf will be so numb and in pain already it won't hurt as much when the round tears her leg in half.
Good luck, and remember, wear a condom.
>>28273801
What's up, meth addled construction worker?
Want to show us your extensive Ruger handgun collection you've been building from the local Walmart?
>>28268050
She is trying to scam you you fucking idiot. Don't shoot her. Break up with her before she cooks up another scheme to put you in prison.
