>*BOOM*
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
That's all it takes for you to be trapped inside your house while intruders progress through your home with the intent to loot and kill you.
Why haven't you invested in an emergency escape system yet, /k/?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO EXIT STRATEGY!
75 rounds of 9mm is all the escape I need
>>28075093
Because I've got a nugget in every room.
>>28075121
>intruders are now fully armed and prepared to nugget and kill you
>>28075093
The same thing I would do if my house was on fire.
Building code exists for a reason.
>>28075144
>Implying I haven't drilled myself on this exact scenario 3 times a day
The floor will run red with the blood of thieves.
>>28075175
>enter in building code into building code
>house transforms with you inside it, crushing you and the intruders to paste
>house now on defense mode, but it's too late
>>28075121
The worst gun possible for fighting in a house. Well except a musket or single shot shotgun I guess. Although neither of those will leave you bleeding from the ears after firing one round in doors.
>>28075183
I believe this is you
>>28075204
>Implying I won't work myself into a bezerker's rage before I clear the house like I've practiced 3 times a day
>>28075093
>not wanting this to happen
>not having sandbags with an MG42 mount behind the door for exactly this moment
>not wanting to scream "BACK TO PIZZALAND SCHWINE!" and mow down the intruder with glorious nazi lead
>not wanting to watch watermelon writhe on the ground in agony
>not wanting to be honored as a community hero
>not wanting to fuck the cops daughter as a congratulations
It's like you don't want to live.
>>28075093
I CC an obrez and hang it up next to me when I sleep. The only thing escaping is the intruder from the wild ride of life.
>>28075093
My door is not made of cardboard.
>>28075093
>escape
There's no escape when you have blood and property to protect.
The best I can do is free the intruders from their mortal coils.
>>28075093
My door swings out.
Hello. The FBI reports there is a home break in every 15 seconds. Your local police recommend you protect your home. If you will allow us to place a small sign in your yard, we will install a new security system at absolutely no cost to you whatsoever. There is no cost for the system or the installation whatsoever. To hear more, press 1 now. To be placed on our Do Not Call list, press 9.
>>28075093
Because I intend to fight the intruder off. Both myself and my gf keep our weapons on us at all times. There is no running away for us, it's running away for them if they're fortunate.
>>28075093
The door to the outside on my house is a big heavy oaken door that's like 4 inches thick. I don't think they could break through that in only a few kick. It is secured pretty heavily to the door frame.
>>28075093
>*BOOM*
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
return *BOOM*s
>>28075681
>return *BOOM*s
My uncle did this years ago.
>at home cleaning his guns
>hears vehicles but doesn't think anything of it
>*boom* *boom* *boom*
>someone trying to break in his (reinforced) door
>loads assembled guns in a heartbeat (Vietnam vet)
>fires through the door with his AR
>when gunshots are returned through the windows and walls, empties another two mags before falling back to another room
>flashbangs in previous room
>realizes what the fuck it is
>gets into Mexican standoff
>doesn't come out until a Sheriff's deputy, his brother-in-law, walks him out unarmed
>turns out it was a no-knock, unannounced police raid on the WRONG house
>police try to press charges for killing an officer and wounding others
>judge throws it out due to the circumstances and awards him damages
>he ends up moving to Alaska anyway to avoid "accidentally" being killed by a local cop
This was years ago so I don't imagine a judge would throw it out anymore.
>his face when he tells me about exchanging gunfire with cops without being hit for a couple hours
>>28075771
Holy shit
If true that's pretty ballsy. Cops are at fault though, dat logistics needs improved. I've heard of multiple stories of cops raiding the wrong house and people getting fuck over for it
>>28076246
Per captia its extremely rare.
Lots of raids done a year, like a ton, yet only 10 or so fuck ups.
Still, fucking terrible when it happens, its why you try to keep this shit from becoming routine. Routine = mistakes in all forms.
>>28075093
I think I have a good escape plan.
>>28075093
>escape
Nice try, but that wasnt the real door, and you just alerted me to get moving.
Implying i don't always have a pistol on me
>>28076246
About five years later my uncle's brother-in-law, who still lived in the county, was killed while on patrol alone. He was ambushed, called for aid, but there was some "miscommunication" and no one got there until he'd bled out.
The audio of his radio comm is on youtube.
>>28075436
I have never gotten that far into the calls but superfuck you for reminding me.
>>28075093
No problem, I don't live in America, so I'm not getting shot and my doors aren't made of styrox.
>>28076363
what is that all about, bro?
>>28075093
3 000 buckshot followed by very hot 2 slugs with 30 rounds of 7.62x39 as backup is my escape plan
>>28076290
That'll teach him
I applaud you OP, for getting our protective kommando blood rising. Yet we all know death before dishonor! I will not fall prey to your trolling ways.
>>28075093
>That's all it takes for you to be trapped inside your house while intruders progress through your home with the intent to loot and kill you.
I'm not trapped in there with them. They're trapped in there with me.
My escape plan is burrowing through the invaders with my sks's bayonet.
First line off defense: attack bees
Second line of defense: ma deuce in hallway
Final line of defense: 50 Megatron warhead in basement with Deadman switch.
Let's goy culturally enriched friends
>>28076830
Megatron fuck you auto correct
>>28075093
good luck passing through my steel door and concrete walls. feels safe desu.
>>28076845
Megaton
>>28075093
Because those four kicks to my steel door broke his ankle.
>>28075093
Hey, buddy, stop stretching your leg on my door.
>>28076845
I don't know, a warhead with 50 Megatrons inside would be pretty damn terrifying and useful too.
>>28075093
Because I have multiple escape systems within a few feet of me right now.
My Sig 228 being the closest.
My house is pretty much fucked if an intruder comes through the front door. Our sleeping quarters are basically in the back of the house down a hallway with no exits.
I have a rottie and a big black lab in the hallway at night though, and I have a loaded Mossberg 500 with 00 Buck right by my bedroom door.
Plus a security door, motion lights, and an alarm system.
It would be pretty stupid for a thief to rob my house.
>>28075436
Shit I would definitely buy a Terminator to defend my home.
>>28075382
OP BTFO!!
>>28075109
>75 rounds of 9mm is all the escape I need
So what's the plan, glue them together to make a little ladder and climb out the window with it?
>>28077164
He's going to shoot himself 75 times.
>>28075093
>*BOOM*
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
What kind of a casual door do you think I have?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnslSas5ZOQ
>>28076850
>meanwhile windows are left ripe for the breaking
>>28076631
Clever ;^)
>>28077474
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMjoJKjGEE8
>*BOOM*
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
That's all it takes for republican NRA tea party racist right wing gun nuts with small penises to become crazy and get upset at your fight against income inequality & gender equality as a poor liberal democrat who's waiting for the police after helping to raise awareness for the poor with a hashtag campaign on twitter.
Why haven't you invested in a sign that tells them you live in a gun free zone yet?
>>28075093
You are posting on a board whereb people own military grade rifles.
> implying I don't have a rope ladder under my pillow
>>28075093
Because I live in Canada
>>28079683
But Germany has amazing gun control, why do you need such a defensive screen when all the bad guys have been disarmed already?
>>28075093
Think your in the wrong house buddy..
Guys im actually seeing if this happens tonight
Made a thread about an hour ago on it. Still awaiting dindu.
>>28079683
>and yet the chimney is ripe and ready for a dynamic entry
>>28079683
Better yet.
>>28075286
wow this is an edgy unfunny version of a classic post.
>>28082429
>alarm goes off
>half awake, drunkenly stumble out of bed to hit the panic button
>lockdown initiated
>but the alarm wasn't the burgle alarm
>it was the fire alarm
>authorities arent able to recover the body due to batman shell over house
>family decides its for the best and marks the burned out shell as an oversized grave
>some nights you can still hear my ghost banging on the walls
>>28082429
i wonder if those building have panic rooms too or someone said no thats overkill
>>28082670
kek
Funny, you can tell the eurofags apart with their "escape" strategy
>American gun owners pray for this moment.
>>28075204
m44 is most glorious flamethrower with secondary function of lead projectile
This us all it takes for you to be flagged with a facemask penalty
>>28076281
Even in the Bath. Wow.
>>28082833
i am from detroit
get over it, refs hate the lions, its been that way since 93'
the NFL is shit anyways
>>28079774
u picked literally the perfect picture for that post, what did you google to find it? liberal urban metrosexual?
>>28082833
I can tell you're getting ready for winter with all that salt
>>28075093
>*BOOM*
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
That's all it takes for you to be trapped inside your Sherman while your ammo rack cooks off.
Why haven't you invested in wet stowage yet, /k/?
>>28075204
Apparently you've never fired a single shot 12 gauge indoors.
>implying I'm not the person who burgles burglars
>>28075093
>>*BOOM*
>>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
Why would I want to escape? Literally every /k/ommando constantly masturbates to this thought, or has at least developed a plan to put down said intruders.
>Grab Mossyman 590A1
>Load
>Fix bayonet
>Destroy defective melanin enriched urban youth with politically correct amount of prejudice
>>28076275
I'd hit it.
It's like you people don't even wire car batteries to all your doorknobs before you go to bed.
>>28079774
Underrated
>>28083166
>nice dubs
>Not having metal doors and doing the same for the whole door
>>28083227
Literally the next fucking post after
>>28083166
>"Underrated"
Bitch we ain't had time to rate it yet
>>28082842
>Even in the bath...
You don't? What are you, Australian?
>>28083145
My mossman is loaded at all times, anon.
>>28083145
And they're called basketball americans now.
>>28083264
The underrated post was
>>28079774 you idiot.
>*BOOM*
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
That's all it takes for me to be trapped inside my house while intruders progress through my home
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
And that's all it takes for me to be trapped inside my house with 20 dead intruders
>>28082833
Butt mad fudge packer
>>28076281
What is your opinion on the PX4 Storm, is it worth getting?
>*BOOM*
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
It's gonna take more hits than that. You have to get through two locked doors to get into my place.
By the time the final door has fallen I'll have all my shit ready. My distraction device will leave them clutching their ears and ripe for my flak vest clad strike.
I will descend upon the foe, I will overwhelm him, and I will leave none without a concussion.
Then I'll go take a shit because vigorous action usually does that for me. And call the police and the like.
>>28083511
>>28076845
No, Megatrons is correct.
>>28083166
I need those batteries for the sentry guns.
>>28083511
>>28075093
>Why haven't you invested in an emergency escape system yet, /k/?
I did. This is it.
>>28077164
5 mags of 15 rounds, first 2 hollow point last 3 fmj. Because if I actually need to do a mag swap then fuck it I'm already nose deep in the shit anyway.
Or just this >>28077212
>>28083684
Sauce on flag pls?
So the same door you retards have rigged so that the ATF can't break down is the same door a theif just busted?
>>28083690
ebay.com/itm/4Chan-b-distressed-5-foot-Flag-Banner-5x3-ANON-4Chan-Anonymous-/281208541075?hash=item417955cf93:g:m~4AAOxyBLxRGrvr
Pow.
>>28075217
but why was there a picture of spoony with his post
>>28083724
>literally a flag waving autist
What would moot think?
>>28083812
Who?
>>28083420
Late ass reply but i like it.
Wouldni have bought it if i didn't get a smoking deal on it? Probably not, however of it tickles your pickle it's a good gun i have no issues with it but inonly paid $140 for it. I had commision at the funstore i worked at and i could not say not at that price
>>28083903
trolling is a art
>>28082862
I think that was one of the ads for Obamacare, believe it or not.
>>28075093
As a cultured, honorable and dignified European I would employ the special Rectal-Lubrication kit given out to all EU citizens.
>>28079873
>military grade rifles
>military grade
define that for me, please.
>>28082429
wait, do those window blocks swing out?
Won't that heavy ass concrete slab put massive pressure on those hinges? What's to protect the hinges from not breaking or the whole thing getting crooked over time?
>>28084482
The power of artistic integrity will hold them up.
>>28075093
Because castle doctrine lets me not have to run.
Jokes on you I don't have a home.
>>28084912
And how do you plan to support your militia of knights and men-at-arms, castleboy?
>>28079683
>invest in concrete and steel reinforced walls and windows
>invest in plenty of weapons and a good security system
>they infiltrate through toilet
You're never truly safe
implying im not sitting in an armed ejection seat
>>28084924
Nuggets, ramen, cheap vodka and dragon dildos
>>28082030
hey, thats a MN episode
>>28075093
>*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
That's all it takes for the Vengaboys to want you in their room. You'll spend the night together, from now until forever.
When you're alone and you need a friend, why haven't you gotten someone to make you forget your problems yet /k/?
>>28075093
>not *BOOM* *BOOM* *CRASH*
>>28075771
>>28076246
>>28076258
Let me tell you a story of raids and mistakes...
>be copfag, the year of our Lord 2k13+1
>get called to assist with a no knock on a house on a mil base for drugs and guns.
>mil captain (let's call him Steve), new to the base with exactly 2 months of police experience is in charge, power tripping.
>get told to break away from watching the house to rally up at a baseball field for a briefing.
>get there, and see everyone else that's working this.
>"capt Steve, whose watching the house while we pregame?"
>"lolwut?"
>at this point I feel like I should let you know that this is the first time I've met this guy, let alone worked with him.
>he explains the details of the plan, how there's unknown type and amount of guns, with a shit ton of weed.
>we depart and set up at the end of the cul-de-sac where this guy lives
>my partner and I start prepping, putting on plate carriers, helmets, etc.
>Steve: "why are you putting that on?"
>"because we're doing a no knock raid on a house with guns in it?"
>"but you have a second chance vest on. That protects you from bullets."
>"not all of them. Do you know what kind of guns he has? No? Okay then."
> Steve turns to the MPs that are working with us, tells them not to put their gear on.
>"did you just chamber a round in your rifle?"
>mp: "yeah, cause he has guns."
>"you don't need that."
>mps begin putting their rifles away and double checking their pistols
>Steve: "no, you need to use your rifle, just don't chamber rounds unless he's using his guns."
>Steve then shakes his head and walks away, muttering about incompetence.
>we get tasked with providing overwatch from halfway down the street.
>wife of the suspect (who turned him in) shows up where we're at, and makes small talk.
>stack starts to form up and move to a house on the right side of the street.
CONT'D. 1/3
>>28086630
>see Steve in the middle of the stack behind a reserve major (we'll call him "Frank," neither with guns, both with a second chance vest over their uniforms.
>thiscouldntpossiblygowrong.png
>during the conversation with the wife, she casually pointed out her house, on the left side of the street.
>chalk it up to retarded shenanigans by Steve, moving non tactically up the wrong side of the fucking street
>Steve orders the team to set up on the house across the street from the target
>call them on the radio to tell them they have the WRONG FUCKING HOUSE
>no response because Steve's "muh radio silence."
>they breach the house, being loud as fuck
>my partner and I start running towards the target house, figuring that the suspect has to know what's going on by now, since his windows are open and he's literally directly across from the street.
>Steve hears us running down the street and pops his head out of the door asking us what's going on.
>while running, politely explain to him that he raided the wrong goddamned house.
>"oh shit."
>I set up on the front corner to wait for the stack to reform, partner goes around back.
>Steve is first one to arrive, somehow managed to acquire a taser that he is neither trained nor intelligent enough to use.
>Steve tries to take point, literally gets told to fuck off by an mp.
>they breach, pointman is yelling orders to the suspect who was chilling in the living room.
>Steve starts yelling commands to the suspect too, with no clear concept of what's going on.
>pointman turns to tell Steve to shut up.
>we both realize that Steve is now dual wielding, taser in one hand, recently acquired pistol in the other
>Steve gets physically removed from the house by another mp.
>we cuff and search the suspect, and stuff him in the back of my car.
>Frank starts giving a little "good job everybody" speech in the living room, gets told to leave while the house is being cleared.
CONT'D. 2/3
>>28086015
>Venga boys
>DFS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGHHH BEGONE SATAN
>>28086638
>now it's Frank's turn to be retarded "we got the suspect, we don't need to clear the rest of the house."
>Frank gets removed.
>we finish clearing the place, find a Desert Eagle and a grinder, with about 1.5 grams of shake.
>overhear an mp arguing with Frank about a crime scene log. Frank doesn't want to do one, but eventually relents when the mp says he's going to do one anyways.
>Frank proceeds to completely fuck the case by manhandling all of the evidence, and by altering the crime scene log, etc.
> I get told to take the suspect to the station for interviewing.
>I clarify with Steve that we do have charges on this guy, so I don't get hit with some lawsuit.
>get back to the station, helping out with paperwork
>Steve comes into the room, tells me to fill out the complaint for him to sign later, tells me the final charge he's being arrested on is "suspicion of possession of marijuana."
>mfw
>I get told that Steve doesn't want the case to be under his name, cause it got so royally fucked.
>they try to pawn that shit off on me.
>nope.png
>get threatened with a write-up
>later found out that the raid was conducted solely on the hearsay of the wife, who never even saw the drugs.
And that is the story of how my captain was assigned to permanent desk duty, and how the major got fired.
3/3
>>28075093
Mostly because its so statistically unlikely that I can't be bothered. If I took threats like that seriously then I'd just stay indoors wrapped in bubble wrap.
So you set one piano wire about ankle high, and another a foot and a half after that about chest high. Intruder trips on first wire and falls face/neck/hand first into second wire causing traumatic bleeding, giving you the opportunity to Home Alone / 3 Ninjas laugh and then duck behind a wall to call 911.
>>28086630
>>28086638
>>28086655
No... You can't be serious.
>dual wielding, taser in one hand, recently acquired pistol in the other
>find a Desert Eagle and a grinder, with about 1.5 grams of shake
>they try to pawn that shit off on me
So did the suspect get off because of the totally fucked case?
>>28086721
I believe so. I think the whole thing ended up getting swept under the rug because he was an officer. I think the only thing that happened was the guy got barred from the base.
