![_50283238_flies[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/HUKd7Go.jpg "_50283238_flies[1].jpg")
>Sitting at home, watching youtube videos cause its 20 degrees outside and 21:30
>hear something fall in the kitchen
>pause video.... Nothing
>continue watching video and a few minutes later hear something else in the kitchen
>openingcupboards.mp3
>Fn-F7 to shut off screen to darken the room I'm in because I'm the only one who should be home. Leave sound playing
>Pick up Glock19 with my AAC Ti-RANT suppressor, and Surefire X300
>Slowly make my way toward the kitchen, weaving slowly and quietly down the hall way.
>See the faint light of a cell phone being used as a flashlight moving about from around the corner
>Peek around corner and see two males in my kitchen, one of them with a cell phone, other one holding what I can see is a revolver
>Heart is pounding
>Take slow and silent deep breath, mentally check myself into whats about to happen
>Turn corner and light up the room with my weapon light, aiming right at the chest of the guy with the gun
>GET THE FUCK DOWN!!! *thump thump thump thump thump*
>5 shots center mass on fucker in my kitchen as he tried to raise gun at me
>Push further into the room, veering off to the left
>Second fucker pulls gun from waistband after he drops all the shit he was going to steal
>7 more shots
>2 bodies on the floor
>Neighbors lights aren't coming on so I'm good
>Fuck calling the cops, so I call my friend who I can trust 100% with silence.Shove bodies into a Rigid tote bin with holes drilled and load it into the back of a truck
>Drop entire contents off into the lake.
>Drive home, clean up bullshit mess in my kitchen
>Drink a glass of Whiskey
>Go to bed around 5:00 am
This is what should happen when assholes are in your house. Yes, the story is made up. But it serves as a good example of why dumb fuckers lives need no trials. Clean house, move on with life.
ITT: autistic operator fantasies.
Sage goes in all fields.
You owe me 40 seconds I wasted of my life reading this. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
fucking stupid, consider suicide
>2015
>Not having booby traps, pit falls and punji pits in your house for such reasons.
Step your game up step your chain up.
>no 'get on floor.. dinosaur'
Why even post this?
>>28024383
Old man please go
That wasn't remotely realistic
>>28024383
>Drops bodies in a lake
>Doesn't weight the bodies
>Doesn't bother digging graves and using limestone to prevent animals
>Doesn't bother with acid to dissolve
>Instead half asses dumping bodies and calls friend to do it
Nigga I have homies who I would die for, but I ain't dumping bodies in a lake. If you did nothing wrong you call the cops. Ain't nobody gives a fuck.
>>28026313
>Doesn't eat what he can off the bodies and then turn the rest into delicious sausages to sell at the farmers market which become all the rage amongst the town.
you forgot to collect their armor pieces and pipe pistols
How a self defense shooting is really going to go.
>in the parking lot at your local corner store
>pan handler approaches asking for change
>Wave him off
>dude pulls a box cutter
>field of vision narrows
>back away
>shout short words like "NO" or "FUCK" or wordless screaming
>take what feels like way too long to draw and fire
>first round falls short of his foot
>second round catches him in the gut
>third round grazes his shoulder
>he drops his weapon and doubles over screaming and swearing.
>run back into corner store
>take three tries to dial 911 your hands are shaking so bad
>finally notice you've pissed yourself
OP is a fag. I just ate the last person who broke into my house, their wallet had a picture of a dog in it so I paid his house a visit and also stole his dog and ate it also.
Feels good man, clean, and no evidence.
>>28026789
More like you have no sense of how many shots youve fired and don't stop til the slide is locked back
>>28026785
Eh, they take up a lot of weight. Then again, you can get screws from them, so that's pretty nice.
>>28024383
Could you be less of a niggerfaggot?
>>28026904
>Not turning on God mode just to loot everything in the area
>>28024383
>sinking corpse into lake
Casual.
>burn the corpse for 2 hours at 1400-1800 farenheit, anywhere you want, backyard at night is fine, nobody will question the smell
>pull out ash bones and dust
>crush up into essentially powder
>mix it into concrete and either make something out of it, a stoop, a walkway, concrete disks for a walking path in your garden, or let settle in bucket and do a good concrete pale lake dump
Realistic self-defense shooting here.
>going home from work
>stop at a shady gas station because you forgot to fill up
>tired from work, not paying attention
>raggedy ass redguard snuck up on you
>starts mumbling about muh money, muh dick bix nood muh kids muh momma
>you try to ignore him but he gets closer and closer
>you start shaking and tell him to get back
>he keeps coming towards you
>you reach and try to feel for your gun
>left it in the car
>move around to the other side and try to get in car
>dude grabs your buttcheek
>his fingers are like alligator jaws, the pressure is immense
>"BIX NOOD MUHFUGGA WHERE DA MONEY" he screams
>you gasp, trying to say something, the pain in your ass cheek is immense and you are scarred
>finally grab gun from center console
>have to chamber a round
>dude is trying to separate your ass cheek from your body
>turn around and try to kick him away
>he latches onto your ball sack
>he sees the gun
>mexican standoff ensues, if you shoot, he may never let go on your most valuable assets, and you will have to forever wear the amputated hands of a deceased piece of farming equipment
>if he does let go, he knows you'll blast him
>finally someone comes out of the store
>It's Ranjeep, with a metal baseball bat
>Ranjeep is about 90 and is deaf
>he can't figure out who's robbing who, so he begins beating you both
>minivan of soccer moms pulls up in the next stall
>they begin cheering on the roody-poo
>finally, the negro lets go and grabs your wallet
>Ranjeep just won't stop
>finally you pull your phone out and call the cops
>they come by to help
>the redguard is in the back of the cruiser, he tried to buy an ounce of weed from his dealer with your credit card
>dealer called the cops because he thought he was getting ripped off in this deal.
>after 10 hours you're allowed to go home
>Ranjeep gets a Presidential Medal of Honor for his actions
>you get called into HR for diversity training.
>>28026829
You're not original in anyway/
>>28026927
But what if I'm playing on console and not PC?
Just kidding.
>>28026979
Kek
Gun for your fun
>>28027002
Wew lad, you really had me going there.
>>28024383
>rob an occupied house
>help selves to snacks from the dude's cupboard
>the burglar having a gun at all, much less playing with it in the kitchen
Been robbed several times myself and trust me, they don't fuck around. They find as many valuables as they can fit in a bag and then run away as fast as they are able.
A much more realistic scenario:
>live with roommates
>they sometime leave the door unlocked and they sometimes invite friends over
>see unknown dude in living room going through your stuff
>you get your gun, but you keep it in your pocket/behind your back
>you hesitate
>say, "who are you?"
>he replies, "it's cool bro, I'm just looking for my CDs I left over here the other day"
>you hesitate again
>he leaves
>you call your roommates
>they don't know him
>by the way, he stole a bunch of cash out of your desk before you came across him in the living room
>>28026313
>using acid to dissolve
Lol pleb, sodium hydroxide solution is the correct answer.
Wrong.
>wake up to alarm that there are intruders who passed through your concertina wire and fencing
>activate klaxon
>shout through intercom that there are hostiles in the wire
>you live alone, so only you and the intruders heard
>grab rifle
>clear house
>find intruders
>"GET THE FUCK ON THE GROUND, FUCKO"
>Flex cuff them
>bag them
>toss them in the brig
>call cops
>hand them off to cops
>Flex cuff
do people actually buy these?
From a guy I met at a concealed carry class who had to retake the class after going to court for an incident:
>walking home from store with handfuls of groceries through 'dark' neighborhood at night
>nignog approaches from behind
>loud, incomprehensible nig noises
>throw groceries in nig's face
>nig shoves him to the ground
>draws CCW (P238 I think he said)
>doesn't remember anything else until he's home, out of breath holding one handful of ripped grocery bags, gun with slide locked back and no mag in hand
>checks himself for wounds (none) and calls the cops shaking and in tears
>cops find full mag and pile of groceries next to group of nigs outside
>"assailant" nig was trying to sell something, only had a bruise on his face from a mayo jar,
>guy only fired one shot into the ground then dropped the mag and took off running
If you think you're going to be much better in a scenario like this you're likely deluding yourself.
>>28028878
Or rather dropped the mag, THEN fired the shot.
British home invasion:
>be britbong
>be at home toasting the Queen's health with tea and biscuits
>dindu refugee breaks down door
>ohdearieme.jpg
>reach for home defense biscuits
>package is empty
>dindu begins to steal my framed collection of photographs of the queen
>dindu keks me while making light conversation
>make dindu tea while he finishes inside my charming wife
>polite discussion of current events
>dindu leaves with my wife and sound system
>>28028904
I genuinely feel bad for that entire nation.
>>28025452
>Not having booby traps, pit falls and punji pits in your house for such reasons.
step up your game
i've got these guys defending my home
>fishmen
>electric spikes
>medusa's head
>net launchers
>mentally disturbed wizards
>>28028941
>I genuinely feel bad for that entire nation.
well, fuck them.
>>28024383
This is terrible advice.
You are good amd justified in the shooting of two armed robbers. But once you hide the bodies in a lake its considered murder.
ALWAYS CALL THE COPS IN SD SHOOTS ALWAYS!!!!
>>28026789
More like you've never been in a self defense shooting. Everyone reacts differently, breh.
>>28026699
Sell it from a cart outside Whole Foods for all the hippies.
>>28028979
Pleb. I have:
>Nuclear landmines in staggared pattern around my home
>Motion sensor activated GAU-8's covering all corners
>CRAM for flying Dindus
>And orbital ION cannon incase they make it to my cocopuffs
>>28028878
It's not hard to do better than a retard, you fucking faggot
>>28024383
>Not being the cops to cover everything up
>Not using impounded coke & guns to plant on the bodies
>Not having everyone at the station saying "He a good cop! He didn't do nuffin wrong!"
Sheep please. Learn to be a real shepherd.
>>28024383
>*thump thump thump thump thump*
9mm are for pussies!
Get a caliber with some power
>>28029077
yea a 22 caliber shooting these niggers to the ground, leaving holes the size of an apple
>>28029077
9mm is the highest caliber there is you fucking faggot
>>28029140
22>9 idiot
>work in an industrial park ( i am a buisness analyst for a major manufacturer)
>Friday night, stay late working on reports for vp coming into town monday.
>done at 1 am.
>24hr production facility
>pack up my company laptop
> buzz security tell them in leaving.
"Ok Mr. Anon have a good weekend"
>" you to Barney Fife"
>card swipe out of my office and walk down to the production floor
>check in on the shift supervisor and dock coordinator
>shoot the shit for 10 min
>say goodnight
>walk through the 3 controlled access doors/gates
>parking lot is gated but is located across 6 rail tracks.
>hit the pedestrian cross button to alert the trains ( we have remote controlled trains that move syuff around the facility. You hit the pedX button to keep them from running you over)
>get green light
>walk to parking lot
>card swipe in
>Open gate
>walking to truck
Out of nowhere dude jumps out from behind car
>something in his hand
>starts coming to me yelling something
>drop my bag while backing up
>he grabs bag and keeps coming
>after droping bag ive been trying to draw my gun
>feels like ages
>get it out
>yell "STOP" over and over like a faggot
>fire till slide is locked back.
Guy on ground
> I collapse to the ground shaking
>security guard. Screeched to a stop nect to me.
>asks if im ok
>Has his gun pointed at guy, walks over to him
>kicks kitchen knife out of the guys reach
>cops and ambulance arive about 7min later
>guy still alive
>take him to hospital
>take me to station
>call my lawyer
>police need to hold my stuff as evidence for a few days
>hand over gun and they tell me laptop is shot.
>lawyer takes me to his office
>stiff drink
>tape records what i say
>drives me home
>lucky me i back up everything to the cloud
Monday
>go in early knowing there will be hell.
>my boss, his boss, vp , hr all there.
>short talk, we good. Give presentation and reports i had been working on the VP.
Guy was wanted for rape too.
>>28026979
>you will have to forever wear the amputated hands of a deceased piece of farming equipment
>>28029277
2/2
>guy lived
>hit him 3/6 with my .40sw
>just finished his trial for the assault/trespass and armed action.
>Security guard rolls to the parking lot to make sure everyone leaves ok. My 10min delay made him think he had missed me. And i was already gone.
He felt really bad, i told him it was my fault. And made sure he had no blame.
Company has a no ccw policy. But it was glossed over. I didnt get in any trouble.
Got my gun back about 3 weeks after.
Guys lawyer pulled the dindu card and hes a good boy down on his luck.
Jurry didnt buy it. ( now that past convictions can be brought up in trial in my state) he had a long wrap sheet and was found guilty. He got 15 years. Still has rape charges pending.
D/A after the trial told me one of the pendings is for rape of a 13yr old.
>>28029313
Do you feel bad? You should have killed that fuckin dindu...
>>28028878
>slide locked back
>full mag
>only one shot fired
if youre gonna make up a story make sure it makes sense
>>28029419
Apparently you missed the part where it was stated that the poster panicked and dropped the mag when attempting to fire
>police find bodies and arrest you after neighbors tell them that they saw you throwing bags into a truck at midnight
>get charged with a double murder because you're a retard
Not that OP isn't a noguns faggot, but
>hurr you'll just magdump into your foot and cry while your dog gets raped
If you think that's how you'll react then don't carry a gun, faggotron
It'll be scary and you might not get all rounds where you should be, but you'll be groovy if you practice as often as you should.
See: the plethora of video evidence where people who have never fired a gun in anger successfully cap a dindu. Using a pistol isn't brain surgery.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6Ps1ZC1-Qw
Bonus: Old man who never shot a gun remains calm with gun in his face, shoots attacker in face. Later during another robbery, he actually gets shot and continues to fight through and kill multiple attackers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkWgp2abM2w
Get the fuck out
>>28028878
Shoulda gone STEM
You do know that unless you deflate the lungs the bodies will float, right?
>>28027341
Are you trolling or just retarded?
>>28028979
Die monster! you don't belong in this world!
>>28029409
No i dont feel bad. Killing him would have been better from a legal standpoint. But its not like he or his family can take action aganst me legally.
>>28024383
Two armed burgerlers trying to steal peanut butter capn crunch and a quisinart stick blender.
>>28028886
Idk, I don't think any of my semi-autos lock the slide back without an empty mag in them.
>>28029612
You dont understand slide lock
>>28029036
>ion cannon
kane dindu nuffin
muh brotherhood
