So, if you caught someone in your house and you don't need to shoot him because he surrendered when he saw your gun, what do you do?
Chain him up in my basement and use him as a meat dildo
Make him jump in the freezing river, make it look like a suicide
>>27919430
Duct tape/electrical tape his arms and legs together, duct tape his mouth, wait for authorities.
Pretty simple shit.
>>27919430
Detain him and secure him to a chair until police arrive.
Offer him tea.
Not hot tea, this is America, you get sun tea, and not that sweet shit either.
>>27919517
>tea of any kind
>america
Yeah, no.
New sex toy
>>27919558
What's the sauce for this again?
IIRC this thing makes my dick harder than diamonds.
>>27919541
>Not enjoying a glass of ice tea from time to time.
>And flushing the tea bag for your forefathers later.
Yell everything loud and firm, repeat commands if necessary.
>"Put your hands in the air!"
>"Turn around!" (back facing you)
>"Get on your knees!"
>"Lay down on the ground!"
>"Spread your arms and legs out as far as you can"
>"Don't move, if you do, I'll shoot you until you stop moving!"
>He is still a threat because if he starts moving, you don't know if he has a weapon, or if he's getting up to charge you.
>Call police, make sure to tell them you are armed and pointing gun at culprit.
>Keep gun on him at all times
>If he moves, shoot him until he stops and complies, or dies
>When Police bust in follow the police commands exactly, best bet is once cop is in sight, drop your weapon, get on the ground too.
>>27919572
http://exhentai.org/g/338849/3990ee23fb/
>>27919576
Except they didn't enjoy the tea, they destroyed all of it
>>27919430
Trick question, he won't have time to surrender.
>>27919558
Sauce, mostly cuz on phone and am lazy
>>27919600
Fuck you, you illiterate nigger, I already posted it
>>27919606
Lol stay mad
>>27919589
D-don't try to prove I aint American buddy.
I ate three burgers and destroyed my loo today!
>>27919430
Make love to him and change his life around to become my lovely housewife
>hello anon, would you like jerky, to clean your guns, or maybe you want me?
>>27919430
Rob him.
>>27919612
https://youtu.be/yW-scAdHc6Y
>>27919619
>rape him and detain him until the Stockholm syndrome kicks in
I'm not sure whether to think it cute and romantic or evil and sadistic
>>27919646
As long as you love each other it's ok
>>27919430
[authority voice]
hands up
turn away from me
interlace fingers behind head
on your knees
cross your ankles
that or just shoot them anyway for being yet another annoyance in your day
>>27919668
But is it really love?
What is love?
What about the NATURE of LOVE?
>>27919676
I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right?
And what is wrong?
Gimme a sign
What is love?
Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
>>27919676
Love is being their for someone every day and making them feel good and get through life
So if he's in my basement and getting fed and loved then I cover everything
>>27919618
As an American living in the Uk
I hate when English people say the word burger
>do you want to go to MACDonalds for a burga
>oh yeah want to come over for Burgas
>burga
>burga
>burga
>burqa
Burqa
>>27919517
Detaining him is considered kidnaping in some parts just shoot him anyways.
>>27919717
I miss my guns too
I know my CZ455 misses me.
>>27919676
A boy falls in love with a girl.
Unable to confess, he is gifted by a deus ex machina with the girl's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day's confessions to the girl, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the girl he called is not the same girl he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn't exist in this universe at all. She is the girl's alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC's own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.
OP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NShEKYoPXw
ED: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIX9aoN7g4o
PV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcVGDV67L-g
HD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxaW5kkd1bQ
>>27919717
>an American living in the UK
I'm so sorry
>>27919732
You are a moron
>>27919717
At least they know where to go for you to enjoy some of your American food.
>>27919740
I'll be back in a month
Inshallah I don't go out in a Takbir blaze of glory on the flight home though
>>27919430
Depends. If he is unarmed tell him to drop the ground and call the police.
If he had entered armed shoot him anyway. Then I call the police and say he threatened me. No mercy for potential killers.
>>27919764
It is a welcome treat from English food from time to time.
Because English food sucks.
Fish and Chips-- don't bother unless you for some reason love them in the US, they will taste the same here. Cornish Pasties/Pasties in general are ok. Jif Creamy peanut butter doesn't exist (and yet chunky does??) Never had bad Chicken Noodle Soup until I came here.
However for those of you who ever find yourselves in the UK, Nando's Chicken is fucking based its too bad A. I can't eat it every day B. None in the US
>>27919841
You could always eat Kebab
>>27919841
>They fucked up Chicken Noodle.
...
>>27919676
According to popular culture the correct response for the question "What is love" is to implore an infant not to cause you harm or pain.
>>27919600
>>27919612
Truly, phone posters are scum.
>>27919430
if he isn't a threat, call the cops and have him picked up. I keep cuffs for that very reason (and because the wife likes that shit)
>>27919514
why the mouth?
>>27919430
call the cops, if i shoot him he won't get that good good ass treatment where he's going to next.
>>27919937
People who sit at home all day because they have no job and posting on /k all day from thier moms basement are scum
>>27919430
I'd probably order him to stand facing me and then magdump anyways. I don't want to have to watch over him until the cops arrive.
>>27919965
So nobody can hear you scream
>>27919937
The biggest irony is that I posted and provided sauce on my phone
>>27919746
>yfw robber goes fullautism
>AM I BEING DETAINED? YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY HERE. AM I FREE TO GO NOW?
>>27919517
Sweet tea is good though...
>>27920133
Ahh, sweet tea, flavored with Yankee tears
>>27919732
Probably not kidnapping, but false imprisonment. Legally speaking, they're different.
>>27919746
Norman Neesmith was initially charged with false imprisonment for trying to hold (alleged) home invaders til the cops arrived.
>>27920133
If you like shitty flavored tea.
>>27919430
Tie him up and sodomize his mouth no homo tho
Detain him, incapacitate with cord, drive out to woods, dome him.
>>27920818
Ask emergency dispatcher, "Shall I hold him here for the police or shoot him and drop the body off at the precinct?"
If they say, "Don't shoot him", permission to hold him is implied. If they say, "Don't hold him ...", before they can get another word out, fire a round into the floor. When the dispatcher says, "What the hell was that?", you just say "Well, you told me not to hold him here."
>>27919581
you forgot the part where the police search your house for a dog to kill
>>27919517
> not sweet tea with the sugar mixed in while hot so it is super sweet.
Disappoint
>Don't turn this rape into a murder
>>27922326
You forgot the part where you admit you're a cop yourself
>>27919484
>>27919430
shoot them in the knee, hopefully they will be too busy writhing around in pain to stop me from calling the police.
>>27919993
>the now restrained intruder looks on in horror as you start covering parts of your body in tape, moaning with each strip applied.
>>27921538
Fuck, this is brilliant.
>go to court
>request the tape to be played
>just doing what the "authorities" told me to do
>>27921538
What a 911 dispatcher tells you does not constitute a legally binding order or a legal defense. If it did, Zimmerman would've been in violation of the law when he chose to follow Trayvon Martin on foot despite the advice of the dispatcher.
Shoot him in the face so he can't sue you later
>>27922326
Second to last step: make the perpetrator dress up in a dog suit
>>27919430
He didn't surrender.....
>>27919430
Shoot, shovel, shut up. Dead men tell no tales.
>>27919581
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8T1WccWSSc
>>27923015
Some bro cops there.
>>27919541
You clearly haven't been to the South.
>>27919768
>someone cap this incase this /k/omrade does in fact bite it
>Arrest him
>Tell him to get on the floor and lie spread-eagle on his chest
>If there's someone else in the house, one of you pat him down while the other keeps a gun on him
>Otherwise, just keep a gun on him
>Wait for the cops to arrive
>Stay on the phone, tell them you've arrested him inside
>>27922326
They'd probably get jumpy because of the cat, shoot it because they thought it was a dog they felt threatened by, testify as such, and get off because they thought at the time, it was a dangerous dog attacking them, not a cat trying to run and hide in the back.
>>27923015
>you picked the wrong motherfucker to try and rob today
>you thought I was your friend
>you woke up stupid this morning
>you made a mistake to get in my goddamn car
>>27919430
>if you caught someone in your house and you don't need to shoot him
this is your problem son
if some unknown person is in your house then yes you do need to shoot them and shoot them to hell otherwise they will come back for more later
>>27919430
im came her for the op image...I really really really like this picture
