Hello /k/
My mongrel human had me declawed.
Need self defense advice for handling things.
Halp?
Glock 40
>>22963040
A dog. Can't go wrong
A katana is always a good choice
No one needs assault claws. Aren't to you cat enough that you feel the need to carry around sharp claws that could harm innocent kittens. if a dog tries to attack you it's better to just give him want he wants and he will leave you alone.
>>22963065
Don't you mean a 'CATana'
>>22963129
CARLOS
Weaponize your kitty litter one spoonful of ebola and its all over
>>22963129
I think a "CATapult" would be better
Have you tried leaping from the top of doorways like the goddamn Batman, OP? Absent claws, you need to start considering preemptive ambushes like these as tools in your psychological warfare belt.
>>22963901
I haz not.
I would be the literal paper tiger though
Why would anyone declaw its cat?
>>22963129
Upgrade, you dumb puss.
I've been rocking my shit and go toe to toe with wolves and bears.
>>22964037
Destruction of property
/k/ats.
>>22963040
Use your teeth.
>>22963040
Give everybody toxoplasmosis
>>22964037
Because they're too fucking stupid to train an animal with a brain the size of a walnut.
>>22963040
>declawing
Your human sucks at life.
Go take a shit on his bed. Under the blanket. Go eat a heaping shitload of grass and throw up on his computer for good measure.
>>22963040
Use yo teef
>tfw I let my cat out as usual and she hasn't been back in three days
>>22966361
Fucking this
>>22966361
>>22967261
A fuckton of people already have it. It lacks stoppan powah.
http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxoplasmosis/
My wife wants to declaw our cats and I'm adamantly against it. We get in arguments about it.
>>22967311
Good "argument" for declawing:
>m-muh furniture
Good arguments against:
>everything else (especially that it's literally mutilation)
If you end up declawing your cat, I'll fucking end you.
Hello /k/
Stupid inbred tinfoils have a bounty on my head
I need self defense help for innawoods without attracting attention
Thanks!
>>22963040
I am going to assume you still have your back claws.
Use front paws to grab opponent and body slam them to the ground. Proceed to use back claws to rip their shit up while holding them with your front paws..
If they are too big to body slam use your teeth and go for a major artery, eyes, or pressure points.
>>22967401
I strongly recommend this, my cat when I was young was declawed and did this all the time.
>>22963082
gold 9/10
>>22967328
Her arguments are:
>Muh furniture
Even though they never scratch the furniture
>Muh sheets
They climb onto the bed instead of jumping so there are some tiny holes in the sheets
>All of the cats I've had growing up have been declawed and they turned out fine!
>They don't go outside so why do they need them?
My arguments:
>I am not cutting my cats' fingers off
>They only scratched when they were kittens
>The cats I've had growing up were never declawed and they don't even scratch anything
>If something were to happen and they got outside they'd die without claws
>I'M NOT CUTTING OFF THEIR FUCKING FINGERS
It's like talking to a wall because apparently none of the points I make matter. We get in fights because I get mad that she even wants to do that and then she gets mad at me for getting mad at her and it goes from there.
>>22967516
Good. Declawing is awful.
I guess she'd still lose her shit if you suggested getting a good scratch post (provided the cats use it) or trimming their nails? Did you give her the "you think your sheets are more important than the cats" argument?
>>22967516
Your wife clearly doesn't think it's actually mutilation, so go make an appointment with a vet to talk to her. They don't like chopping fingers either, and your wife will have a harder time justifying her rage at you if medical science tells her, in person, that she's a monster.
>>22964037
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtNR0wQok-4
this is why, fuck cats
>>22967255
sounds like it found out what a real predator is
>>22963082
Underrated post.
>>22967351
Build up a resistance to silver by adding Silver sulfadiazine in small quantities to your food till you can for all intents roll around in a pile of silver ore with no ill effects (about two months or so). Nothing says "fuck you" quite like a Cryptid shugging off 7.62x51 silver plated ammunition.
>>22963040
Have you tried sucking the soul out of your owner while they sleep?
>>22969526
Doesn't work if the owner is a souless heathen for declawing a cat.
I don't like cats but still declwwing them is barbaric. It'd be like cutting a person's thumbs and big toes off. Sure they could function but not as well.
>>22967351
Change into a human... Or a redguard
>>22969574
Agreed. Hearing people advocate declawing pets drives me batshit. Fuck anyone who thinks its okay to do that to an animal.
Spay and neuter your pet young, and take the time to actually teach them how to not claw the fuck out of everything or chew it up.
If you're so lazy you'd rather gimp your pet than teach it you shouldn't own pets.
>>22969489
That's what I would figure, but the only predators in the city go after children
>live almost innawoods
>own several battlekats chambered in 5.56
>when stray dogs come assaultkats claw them face off
>when innahouse they keep avul spiruts away
>when outtahouse they hunt mices like it's 69' nam all over again
>mfw I won't ever need a dog as long as I breed my ferocious cats
Shit is cash
>>22966361
I haz given my hooman our minds control parasite.
I believe it has backfired because they cut off mah nuts thinking it will lessen the suffering of kittykind.
The hoomans are also now even more obsessed with us than they were when the parasite was first introduced in Egypt.
Teh invasion has gone horrible wrong.
>>22969462
that made me laugh way too much. thanks
>>22967516
You don't let your cats out? Shit son, that ent right.
>>22969462
This. Fuck declawing. How about euthanasia and replacing the little shit with a dog instead?
I know some inbred little shit is going to come back with some mental gymnastics about how she was annoying the cat. Annoying it. So it slashes her fucking eyeball. Think maybe that's a fucking unnecessary escalation of force for someone leaning towards you and saying "give me kisses, mwuah"? Think maybe that kind of behavior is psychotic and indefensible? No? Okay, go try that on your girlfriend some time. Respond to her requests for affectionate attention by gouging her fucking eyeball out. Is that acceptable by your standards? No, of course not. Weighing nine pounds doesn't make it okay, and it certainly doesn't make your razor sharp claws any less dangerous than they are.
Meanwhile, dogs figure out bite control all by themselves while they are still puppies. They know that when they bite too hard, it hurts you, and they don't want to hurt you, so they make sure to only gnaw softly when playing with you. If you annoy them, most larger breeds will simply tolerate it patiently because they know you're not actually harming them. Get this, it's almost like they understand that it's not okay to fucking rip out your eyeball because you're being lovey-dovey. Isn't that just fucking nuts? And if they do get pissed, they'll either get up and walk away, or they'll start growling at you. What's this strange concept? Is it perhaps a reasonable escalation of force, starting with avoidance and employing the use of audible warnings BEFORE lashing out physically? What a novel fucking concept!
Stupid cats. Stupid, stupid fucking cats. They don't deserve their own claws, they use them so irresponsibly. They're like flies and gnats - creatures blessed with wings but undeserving of them as all they seem to do is flail around wildly and bash into things with all the grace of a wrecking ball. Creatures who can't use their gifts properly deserve to lose them.
>>22963040
>declawed.
brutal man.
>>22963082
made me giggle
>>22967114
>Go take a shit on his bed. Under the blanket.
this would be perfect
>>22969875
>being this mad
>>22967255
>she hasn't been back in three days
don't want to startle you or anything, but she won't be coming back no more.
>>22969875
I weep for the /k/ of today?
I remember when /k/ and /an/ were one and even had a child together :'( I weep.
>>22967516
Is time to get a divorce.
>>22969462
i don't de-claw my cats, but am smart enough to not let em close to my eyes, plus I cut the tips of their claws from time to time.
fucking stupid cunt.
>>22969519
>adding Silver sulfadiazine in small quantities to your food
just like creating resistance to cyanide!
>Kitty caps ftw
Bam. Solved.
>>22970055
that's so fucking adorable that i almost pissed myself laughing
>>22970044
Silver isn't an insta kill thing, it just neutralizes the insane healing factors that some cryptids have.
>>22969989
The only thing that pisses me off more than cats is the people who defend them.
Did you see the comments for that video? Something like half of them are people saying that it is fake (don't want to believe that their precious little angels could possibly slice open an eyeball) and/or that she deserved it. Deserved it. Someone said she obviously abuses the cat. She leans back and says "give me kisses." Seem like the kind of behavior an animal abuser would exhibit?
What is this fucking mind control cats have over people? How the fuck do people excuse this behavior and still like cats? It boggles the fucking mind. Man I wish I had the power to make people sympathize with me after I slashed somebody's eyeball out in retaliation for being invited to kiss them. Where can I get this world-dominating power from?
>>22970070
It doesn't hurt them and let's them keep their fingers.
Win win.
>>22970082
sure I bet all cats are evil
nice job anon
>>22970082
Cats are worshipped. They kill sickly vermin, and lower our heart rates by calming us down. Plus, Egyptians thought they were sacred, and you know, we still build pyramids to this day.
>>22969875
yep, fuck cats
>>22970095
I have a feeling that the cat wont exactly be thrilled with you trying to put those on
>>22969462
Still no reason to declaw them.
Either have cats or don't. Cats are pointy little bitches, but removing their claws involves removing the last bit of their filanges and legitimately fucks their ability to walk.
Just clip the claws short often.
>>22970123
>tfw Bast died with the last of her worshipers
>>22970028
See what I mean? You're "smart enough" to not let this savage beast near your face? How about not letting it near any part of you? Or how about your property? Or the entire mortal coil, for that matter?
Why would you accept into your life a companion whom you cannot trust to be within arm's reach of your face? Why do you tolerate the existence of a creature for whom the mutilation of your face is a foregone conclusion if you happen to be in such proximity? Are you masochistic? Do you have self-esteem issues? Were you abused as a child?
Why the fuck do cats get away with this shit?
>>22969998
Hey, I love animals. NICE animals. Animals who aren't sociopathic fucknuts who would just as soon slash your face bloody as rub up against you. Fuck these bloodthirsty pieces of shit. I ain't got room in my life for ungrateful little fucks who sponge off of me and thank me with a fist full of blades to the face. Fuck that noise.
>>22970136
Just like you aren't thrilled when you have to start getting up an hour earlier. It's a routine.
Look up the kitty caps on YouTube, it's actually not that bad.
>>22963040
Cats 'n gats pics now please.
>not accepting the scars of love
shiggle diggle
>>22970165
>Hey, I love animals. NICE animals. Animals who aren't sociopathic fucknuts who would just as soon slash your face bloody as rub up against you. Fuck these bloodthirsty pieces of shit. I ain't got room in my life for ungrateful little fucks who sponge off of me and thank me with a fist full of blades to the face. Fuck that noise.
So you don't support the troops?
>>22970201
Hey, at least they rub against different people than the ones they attack.
I think.
>>22967311
Point out to her that it's illegal in every developed nation except the US. Then find another home for your cats.
Sadly for you, Anon, squash huntin season is permanently over.
>>22970201
>>22970082
How old are you?
How much do you weigh?
What is your current living situation?
I am morbidly fascinated by your posts. Trying to piece together your childhood trauma.
>>22969462
It was obviously agitated,cant you see its fucking tail moving like a grandfather clock's pendulum
>>22970165
>Hey, I love animals. NICE animals.
have you considered a goldfish ?
>>22970128
Notice how the dog and dog owner are bumbling retards.
>>22963040
>My mongrel human had me declawed.
Probably got sick of you fucking tearing shit up and never listening to what he said.
>>22970266
Remember when I said you cat-lovers were going to do some mental gymnastics to defend the cat scratching out that girl's eyeball?
It looks like I gave you guys way too much credit. You didn't even do that. What the hell, you didn't even come back with anything! Look at this shit: >>22969989 >>22969998 >>22970102 >>22970123 >>22970137 >>22970199 >>22970201
Just look at it. Aren't you the same people who put out massive volumes of well-researched counterarguments against the Brady bunchers of the world? What the heck is this? How can you do such exhaustive investigative journalism when it comes to that, but when it comes to whether cats are even worth having at pets, you can barely scrape together a "lol u mad."
So cats have the amazing power to dominate your loyalty and break down your otherwise rational and intelligent minds. What the fuck is going on here? Man, fuck jihad and zombie apocalypse scenarios, we could lose everything to a fucking cat invasion at this rate. They turn us into blubbering fools filled with love for them while they slash us to bits with their own paws! What chance do we even have against this menace?
>>22970368
Do not speak about the great cat in that manner. I will have your tongue
>>22970157
SERVES HER RIGHT, SANDNIGGER FURFAG BITCH
>>22970368
I think it's obvious the cat didn't mean to do that, it got short tempered for a second a swatted her face away.
But still, don't pretend you wouldn't be fucking PISSED if a cat did that to you.
You might know it didn't mean to do it, but it would take you awhile to calm down.
>>22970190
The uber rare /k/atlashnakov rifle
MUH CATS
He a good kitten he din do NUFFIN!
Need mo cans for dem purrgrams.
>>22970368
I am the guy who asked questions aboutyour age, etc.
I own no pets. Never will. My question and intent remains the same. I am morbidly fascinated by your posts.
>>22967255
When I was a kid we had this cat that was just.. rugged. I don't even know where he came from. We didn't even name him, we just called him kitty. But he would leave for 3-5 days, come back, eat some food and hang out, then disappear again. He did this for about 10 years, then finally left for good one day.
TL;DR there is hope, anon.
>>22970405
Gotta say that I can't excuse the cat even with that. Clawing and swatting are two completely different actions that cats are perfectly capable of doing distinctly from each other. Cats do paw clawlessly when they want to, and when the claws do come out, it isn't inadvertent.
More debatable is whether cats are capable of distinguishing an eyeball from the rest of a face when clawing at someone. Well, either way, the cat is so much in the wrong that they aren't worth having as a pet. Either the cat meant to claw at your eyeball knowingly or it doesn't know that clawing at your eyeball is going to seriously fuck you up. In the former case, it's an asshole. In the latter, it's so stupid that it's dangerous to have such an animal as a companion, especially one which has permanent access to bloodletting weapons and a temperament of being set off by having a puckered up kissy face leaning back toward it. Either case makes this creature completely unsuitable to be a companion animal, for the same reason that you don't keep snakes as pets that you allow to freely wander about the house, especially constrictors or venomous snakes.
Pretty fucked up, really. I'm amazed that girl didn't immediately take a swing at that cat.
>>22970368
>>22970496
I'm gonna cuddle with my cat for a while longer.
Just for you anon.
>>22970474
I know, the cat we had when I was just a baby did the same thing. I'm still concerned for her is all.
>>22970538
2nd
Fuck that super autist and his laughable spergfest. I has kitteh to snuggle
>>22969519
Can wearing silver jewelry help with this as well when coupled with eating the small silver sulfadiazine? I also have some silver hydrogel bandage sheets in a big box, would going out on the town with say that on my lower neck help?
Thanks.
>>22969682
> ayy lmeow
>>22970574
hell ye
>>22970469
Well I can cut right to the chase and tell you why I hate cats so much. I used to pet the neighborhood outdoor cats when I was little. They were cute and fluffy, and they seemed to like being pet. Where other kids either didn't give a shit about 'em or liked to make a game out of startling them because of how skittish they are, I was always super nice to those fuckers. I'll never forget the first bite. I was just doing my thing, just petting the neighbor's cat like usual, it's just purring and damn near falling asleep, and then BAM, the little fucker snatches my hand with a set of claws and sinks its little asshole teeth in. Immediate drawing of blood, no fucking reason whatsoever. And you know, even though I was upset, I just thought it was a fluke. A one-off. Must have been a glitch in an otherwise purring system.
But no, man. All the cats started up with this shit. Come at you all nice, let you pet them for a while, then out of nowhere they just take a shot at you.
And then there was my stepmother and her god-awful collection of animals. Every cat wanted a piece of your flesh. And they were always untouchable by anyone except her. You couldn't even swat back at one of those horrible things drawing blood from you, then you were abusing her precious best friends. And a ferret! Fuck that thing. Bit me in the arm and drew blood. Why? "You were in the way of his favorite stuffed bear," she said. What the fuck? Go around me then, you stupid asshole! What are you trying to bite my fucking arm off for? That shit hurts!
Cats, stop rolling over while I'm petting you, as if you're inviting me for a belly rub, and then fucking me up with everything you've got. It makes no goddamned sense. And when I take the hint and stop petting you when you roll over, you give me a shitty look like you don't know why I didn't keep trying to pet you. Maybe I don't want a bloody hand today, asshole!
Why the fuck do you people like these things?
>>22970576
Maybe, maybe go fuck yourself.
>>22970055
How do you put those on? I'd imagine the cat would be pretty pissed off at you fucking with its feet.
>>22970627
Maybe you should hang out with some cats who are properly trained.
>>22970682
Do the front ones first.
>>22970165
>See what I mean? You're "smart enough" to not let this savage beast near your face? How about not letting it near any part of you? Or how about your property? Or the entire mortal coil, for that matter?
>Why would you accept into your life a companion whom you cannot trust to be within arm's reach of your face? Why do you tolerate the existence of a creature for whom the mutilation of your face is a foregone conclusion if you happen to be in such proximity? Are you masochistic? Do you have self-esteem issues? Were you abused as a child?
>Why the fuck do cats get away with this shit?
why don't you put the whole world in a freaking bottle, just to be safe, superman?
My dogs bit me, my cats scratched me.
no big deal.
dogs bite, cats scratch and real man don't give a damn.
if it does not kill me, it's a pet.
>>22970627
Fucks sake anon. A bit disappointed. I was hoping it turns out you were raped by a cat or your crazy uncle made you eat a cat or something.
Outdoor cats are always going to be pretty shitty. And your aunt sounds like a crazy cat lady.
Goddamn it. So disappointed. So some shitty cats gave you some scratches when you were a little boy.
>>22970469
And don't think I just hate cats and am okay with dogs for lack of exposure. Had four over the years; black lab, collie, beagle, and a german shepherd. All great, lively, cheerful, playful buddies. Wouldn't hurt so much as a hair on you, even if you were bugging 'em. All times were fun times! And I sure as shit could always trust any of them to be inches from my face and have an absolute guarantee that they weren't going to suddenly mutilate me over nothing. What the hell do cats have to compare to that?
And those of my friends who had cats, man it was like watching someone in an abusive relationship. Always with the cat skulking around like it's afraid it's going to be suddenly attacked if it isn't on its guard (projecting much?), and then it does some stupid asshole cat thing like knock some shit off a shelf on purpose for no reason (at least dogs knock shit over by accident) or do the usual mandatory blood donation drawn from whoever happens to be within arm's reach - usually their owner, of course. And then I have to watch this pathetic shitshow of tolerance and excuses. "Oh, she's just like that sometimes." "Well, that's what I get for not realizing she was upset." What is this shit? What's next, gonna get some lacerations because you "fell on some broken glass"? And when I get mad at the cat for injuring you, suddenly I'm the asshole? Holy shit, Stockholm, might wanna get that there Syndrome checked out.
You know what? That is pretty fuckin' traumatic. Just being around cats is a trauma.
>>22970725
Man mark millar really went down the tiolet and fast but red son was a fucking work of art. That bottle line is so timeless.
>>22964062
gets me everytime
>>22970165
>why own a gun if you can't put your finger on the trigger and shove it up your nose?
>>22963040
<<--What you want is one of these.
Without opposable thumbs or strength comparable to your oppressor you'll need the advantage energetic materials can give you.
>>22970165
All animals are sociopathic. Especially us.
Don't take the supermarket for granted bro.
>>22970725
Your dogs don't draw blood when they bite. Dogs gnaw harmlessly when playing. You know this. It doesn't even come close to comparing with cat scratches and bites, where they show absolutely no regard for your health whatsoever. Why the fuck do cats insist on slicing through flesh even when playing? Do they not understand that more ouch time means less play time? Even dogs can figure that out. For all the common portayals, cats are dumber than dogs, and shit like this shows it. Of course it isn't a big deal when dogs "bite" their owners. They could crush your bones and flense your flesh from them if they wanted to. They don't because they're intelligent and capable of a fancy little thing called restraint.
>>22970744
You ever notice how there's no such thing as a "crazy dog lady" but "crazy cat ladies" are all the fuck over the place? Do you think MAYBE there's a cause behind this correlation? I sure as fuck do. There's something about these wretched little meatbags that brings out the worst in those spinsters. The worst in tolerance of abuse towards herself and allowing abuse towards her guests. The worst in hoarding habits. Delusionally speaking to bloodthirsty animals who ignore them all day every day. Does it drive them mad, or did they have to be mad to start doing that in the first place? The mind boggles.
>>22970747
Sounds like you're a bigger pussy than the pussycats. What you and retards don't get is that cats have really obvious tell-tale signs for their moods and don't take any shit. That's not for everyone, some people don't enjoy their individualistic natures. And then there's the faggot owners who allow them completely free reign which is bullshit too. My point is just that this isn't that cats are shitty animals, but you can't expect to deal with them like they're there for your amusement. If they give a shit about you, they'll show it in their own way. And to me it's way more rewarding when you bond with an animal that isn't hard-wired to be hyper social, but that's just my personal opinion.
>>22970873
man up you fucking pussy.
>>22970747
That's why I don't have cat stolkholm syndrome, I just think violence is cute and hillarious and I don't mind being scratched a little.
They ARE predators afterall.
>>22970873
>Your dogs don't draw blood when they bite. Dogs gnaw harmlessly when playing. You know this. It doesn't even come close to comparing with cat scratches and bites, where they show absolutely no regard for your health whatsoever. Why the fuck do cats insist on slicing through flesh even when playing?
My cat only scratches me when playing by accident, and it's a very rare occurrence. But then she was raised properly and cares about me. I wouldn't bet on her being so careful with some random faggot but then again she's a fucking cat and not a dog so they shouldn't expect that either, and instead avoid trying to play with a predator that they're not familiar with.
>>22970873
one of my dogs nearly rip off my eye, and he was a yorkshire.
you know what i did?
give zero fucks. pet him. wish him better luck next time.
we chill together till this very day.
>>22970873
>Your dogs don't draw blood when they bite. Dogs gnaw harmlessly when playing.
Horse shit. I've been bitten by dogs you faggot; plus the line between playing and over the line happens frequently with dogs.
>>22970873
What are you doing when you play with a cat that you get all scratched up? Rubbing its stomach? Fucking stop then. Buy a damn toy or attach a piece of twine with a feather glued on to a stick if you're the ultimate poorfag. Jesus.
>>22970958
He's upset that cats aren't dogs. Of course he's doing retarded shit, he's clearly a retard.
>>22970873
>>22970747
>>22970627
>>22970496
>>22970368
>>22970165
>>22970082
>>22969875
>>22970924
>My cat only scratches me when playing by accident, and it's a very rare occurrence.
dis
I've had cats that scratch because they're just shitheads. Meanwhile I have two cats now that I can rub their tummies all day and not get a scratch. Different animals have different personalities, and training/reinforcement makes a huge difference as well. The guy going mental getting bent out of shape over cats obviously has problems and shouldn't own pets anyway.
>>22970881
>>22970888
"Man up," eh? Does that mean when one of those little shits decides to tear me up, I get to put it through a wall? It'd sure make me a happy little fuck. You know why I usually don't, right? A little thing called "property rights," maybe you've heard of it? One of those things you guys are so keen on being able to protect? Yeah, I don't go around smashing other peoples' shit up just because it pisses me off or attacks me. You know what the mature thing to do is? Walk the fuck away.
You know what an enormously immature thing to do is? Call someone's masculinity into question after they get attacked by an animal. It's lose-lose and you know it. If I retaliate, I'm not manning up because I'm obviously so much bigger and stronger that it shouldn't be a big deal. If I don't retaliate, I'm not manning up because I'm allowing myself to be walked all over and that makes me a bitch.
And what is this shit about reading some dumb furbag's fickle signals? Hey, guess what? I have tells and signals, too. I get pissed off, too. Maybe the stupid animal should learn to start reading up on me. Y'know, interpret my 100% non-hostile behavior as 100% non-hostile and react appropriately, as in not slashing at me with blades and the intent to lacerate.
The mental fucking gymnastics it takes to excuse wretched behavior from these animals, fully on display. Why do you even think I need your approval? You think it's gonna tear me up inside when you declare that I'm not manly enough for your standards? Do remember that my position is the one opposing violence and inappropriate escalation of force, and yours is defending it. I hold the moral high ground here. Civilization is made possible by notions such as the ones I am championing. They fall apart by your ideals of tolerating random violence and shaming the victims of it.
And really, autistic? Like, gouging someone's eyeball out because they asked for a kiss? What could be more socially inept than that?
>>22969875
cool an new copy pasta
>>22971051
Yeah nah you're clearly autistic, bro. You should get that shit checked out.
>>22970576
The hell if I know to be honest. Cryptids are mostly pseudoscience until we capture one and do lab tests.
>>22970924
Dogs are predators too, and they are super gentle when playing even with people they only just met a few minutes ago.
By the way, I'll take this moment to note the extraordinary maturity of cat-lovers, who had little to nothing to say in refutation of my points until I was asked for some personal information, and divulged a few firsthand accounts. And that was followed promptly by what? A pile-on from cat lovers eager to turn the whole thing into a barrage of personal attacks against my character and nothing against my statements. And the irony of it? It follows exactly the same pattern as the youtube comments from cat lovers telling that girl that she deserve an eye-gouging from her cat. And the blatant delusional doublethink that allows these people to watch a webcam video of a cat clawing its owner's eyeball and call it fake perfectly mirrors the delusional lies we see being spread here now about dogs biting hard enough to injure.
Hell, you guys aren't even engaging in a discussion. You're just reacting, like boxed plants trying to grow in the direction of sunlight. Your words are not forthcoming until your opponent takes a stand, and then everything you say is completely guided by your opponent. Typical cat lovers. Keep applauding the gouging of a girl's eyeball - we all know she had it coming for making those terrible kissy faces where her cat could reach her. Real classy, you cat lovers. Showing those true colors, there.
>>22971189
I like how every one of your posts references this random chick now. Boy, I wonder what could have motivated this tirade, hating cats, or being a gigantic raging white knightfag with an internet boner? She isn't going to come through the screen and fuck you because you talked a lot of shit about her cat.
>>22971230
He's a shitposter from /v/. Just ignore him.
>>22971189
Yes, she didn't treat her cat like she should have treated a cat. She definitely deserves it for being an idiot who expected something an informed human being should not expect. I wouldn't blame a gun for shooting its handler if that person didn't treat a gun with due respect either. It's the same thing.
>/k/ - Cats
Not /k/ats because this discussion is shit
>>22971247
He is autistic enough to be from /v/...
>>22969875
>>22970082
>>22970165
>>22970368
>>22970496
>>22970627
>>22970747
>>22970873
>>22971051
>>22971189
When you inevitably die of crippling autism, can I use your cadaver for my med school studies? I'm curious as to how someone with mental problems of your magnitude can maintain motor control.
>>22969875
My kitty says hi.
You're judging an entire species off the actions of one animal. If I judge all humans off your actions, I conclude everyone hates cats, which is obviously not true. I love cats.
You obviously dislike cats for emotional reasons (what they might be I cannot say) as you are using a single instance depicting a cat behaving poorly to justify the genocide of an entire species and disregarding the mound of evidence in favor of cats in front of you in the form of pissed off cat owners.
Each pissed off cat owner, whether they compose an eloquent "this is why you are a stupid little baby" speech or simply call you a faggot, is by extension an example of a wonderful, well-behaved cat loved by the people around it. That so many people cared enough to reply to you shows that many people have cats that are well-behaved, harmless, and generally so great that the minute some faggot shits on cats on the internet they take the time to reply to that person, even if it's just to call him a whiny little bitch baby.
>>22970496
When my cats were kittens they'd play pretty rough and claw at each other's faces and shit, it looked brutal but they were always ok.
To the cat, it's like if you slapped a friend on the back and the slap broke his spine.
>>22970627
nigga those cats were trying to play with you aint you ever watched two kittens play?
gotta either roll with it an play with yo kitty or slam dat nigga on da dirt and show him you da alpha cat
>>22970627
>Pet kitty
>kitty flops over and shows tummy
>touch kitty's tummy
>LOOK; DON'T TOUCH, ASSHOLE!
>kitty bites/claws you
>Pet kitty
>kitty flops over and shows tummy
>touch kitty's tummy
>THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU, NIGGER?!
>kitty bites/claws you
>pet kitty
>kitty flops over and shows tummy
What's your next move, genius?
>>22970368
You are a real live autist, aren't you?
>>22970873
Can I have some of your autism? I find that too many people like me and I can barely get anything done with all the time I spend hanging out with people who like me and having sex with beautiful women and I think you could really help me.
>>22971051
>what could be more socially inept than that
Expecting a domesticated predator that's basically a tiny mountain lion that likes people to understand human social ideas like "not using claws on the face" or "kissing"
Cats don't kiss. They don't like you going near their face with your mouth because...
Nah, fuck this, you just have autism. Have a nice day.
>>22971472
This guy also posts a ton on /r9k/. Make a thread about weed and he'll show up to call you a degenerate. You'll recognize his hyper autistic posting style.
He's also got this complex where he wants to fuck his sister but he wants to make sure she's a pure virgin or some gay bullshit so he goes out of his way to make sure she doesn't have sex, do drugs or have fun ever.
It's pretty sad.
>>22967516
Tell her to shut the fuck up. You're a grown ass man, if you want your cats to keep their fingers you don't need to hear shit from anybody about it.
>>22970627
Sounds like you're a little bitch who csn't handle a fucking cat.
>>22972209
>>22971247
Not quite. I haven't frequented /v/ since Player One got banned. I also don't care for /r9k/. I've been posting recently on /adv/ more than others, but even that isn't much compared to the time I used to spend on /a/, /jp/, /k/, and /tg/.
I'm kind of surprised to hear someone being described as THE virgin siscon. That doesn't strike me as being a particularly unique title on 4chan.
>>22972161
We have been over this. Dogs are also predators. Cats don't get to use the predator excuse because they aren't the only predators in this discussion. As for my expectations, I can certainly expect any animal to be capable of distinguishing a threatening situation worthy of flesh-rending force from a non-threatening situation which does not call for it, especially against a companion. That cats do not make this distinction makes them unsuitable as companion animals in my judgment. This same point goes to >>22971992, who seems to think that drawing blood is a perfectly acceptable response to the situation of having your belly rubbed. It's not. All they would have to do is roll back over or swat the hand away gently. They don't. They sink their claws in right away. It's a senseless and uncalled-for escalation of force. If they cannot understand this, then cats are no better than snakes as animal companions. The only difference is that cats look kind of cuter and we have the sense to keep snakes in glass cases.
>>22971854
Cats wouldn't have the bad rap they get if it were one cat hurting one person. Straw manning my general complaint about all cats by reducing it to this single incident doesn't speak well of your position. The importance of this single incident is in that it shows how dismissive cat lovers are of human injury and suffering, and how incapable they are of even admitting that the cat in question did a terrible thing, or that the girl didn't deserve an eye injury. What consideration do I owe to the opinions of such a demographic?
>>22973333
I'm genuinely curious, what is your life like? Where do you live? What do you do?
Can I have a picture of you? How about your battlestation? Are you happy?
>>22973333
Shit happens. Get over it. You aren't a cat person. Some people are. Get over it.
>Dogs are also predators. Cats don't get to use the predator excuse because they aren't the only predators in this discussion.
Domesticated cats aren't pack predators like dogs.
>It's a senseless and uncalled-for escalation of force.
It's an animal, retard. It doesn't know any better. Neither do dogs. They're just easier to train because of the pack mentality they have by instinct. Dogs maul people all the time; even "well-trained" ones. Often for no reason or because the line between "playing" and "fighting" is so thin.
>>22972076
no kidding. can someone screencap all of these autist's responses? its fucking gold.
>>22973333
dude, i have no know.
are you actually autistic? do you have an diagnosed mental illnesses?
>>22967516
Here's your argument, anon >>22972278
"I'm a grown ass man and I want my cats to keep their fingers."
Nothing more, nothing less.
If she keeps arguing, initiate breath-holding sequence.
>>22973333
what about the hundreds of dogs that maul people every year?
>>22973884
I don't own guns. I'll admit it.
But, I sure do fucking want to. I just can't afford what I want to buy right now, and I don't want to go in for something cheap and be disappointed and then be so much further away from a nice AR build. I also like other /k/ stuff, like plane threads, stuff about wars and history, the second amendment, and threads like these. So that's why I'm here.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NIGGER DOING HERE? Do you even like guns? Military history? Going innawoods? Even fucking politics? All you're doing is being a contrarian hateslinging spergmonkey working out his childhood "trauma" by calling for the extermination of all cats, which if you haven't noticed, are almost universally adored. And you sound so fucking snarky and rude, holy shit, the way you talk reminds me of the fucking Thalmor in Skyrim.
Let me guess. You live with your single mom, in her suburban house in a boring town somewhere, in a room. Your bed is a twin size mattress on the floor. The sheets have gone at least 9 months longer than anyone would think is ok without being changed, if there are sheets at all.
Your carpet, once tan, is now dark grey everywhere there isn't furniture. The area directly beneath where you spend most of your time is the worst, the carpet threadbare and ragged, almost black in places, crusted over with filth and crumbs and streaked with soda spills. Your desk is old. The finish is ruined, not that it matters as it's covered in food packaging, cans, bottles and other debris. There is clothing everywhere. No system exists to differentiate the dirty from the clean as there has not been a need to do so in years. The walls have the same posters that have been there since you first moved into the room as child to when you stopped caring at around 23. The furniture is just as old. Your computer is 10 times more valuable than everything else in the room added together, which encompasses all of your possessions as you have no car.
>>22971854
I concur.
I've met some pretty fuckin mean cats but most are a product of their upbringing. Way too many people fuck with kittens because "LOL he's pouncing on me how cuuute" then get pissed when their cat is grown and is still pouncing on their feet and shit.
I found this kitten in a hampster cage on the side of the road and made sure no one fucked with her and she has never shown any aggression towards people. She rides on my shoulder and loves belly rubs and generally doesn't give a fuck what I do now because we're homies.
You cant treat your cat like shit then complain when you don't have a good squash hunting comrade.
>>22973466
Given the level of hostility directed towards me, I'm not going to be divulging much more in the way of information about myself, for two reasons. The first is that the last time I did that, it was just used as a platform to attack my character rather than my arguments. The other is that I don't want to come too close to compromising my personal information.
You'd be bored by my battlestation anyway. I go to extreme lengths to hide my power level. My living space is nearly featureless. The only thing you'd learn about me from looking at my desk is that I have a PC and that's it. No figs, no posters, no games, doujins, or comics lining my shelf; nothing. It's not just to keep my interests hidden; I like things this way. Even small amounts of clutter annoy me easily.
>>22973598
My case has always been that cats make poor animal companions, particularly when compared to dogs. If your stance is that that is just the way things are, we are not in disagreement. Cats being solitary predators instead of pack hunters can go a way towards explaining that, but it doesn't contradict my conclusion.
Dogs do know better than to senselessly escalate force. I have already explained this. When mildly annoyed, dogs overwhelmingly tend first toward avoidance, then to audible warnings of gradual but increasing intensity, and finally to force. Inappropriate escalation of force is common to many animals, but dogs display excellent levels of restraint and distinction for necessity. Cats fail to demonstrate the same level of intelligent decision making regarding the use of their capabilities, in particular the use of their dangerously sharp claws and teeth. That makes them less suited to serving as a companion compared to dogs. This should not be shocking or controversial - even cat lovers frequently note, with derision, that dogs seem to love their people far more than cats do. Only when the obvious conclusion is drawn from this does it create any grief.
>>22974233
I have 2 cats, one I found living underneath a dumpster sleeping in garbage for warmth. I brought him home when he ran out of his dumpster and came right up to me and said hi. He was so friendly and affectionate and he came right up to me and I had been wanting a cat for a while, it was like he knew.
He was scared of everyone but me for a while, but he's never been hostile, if anything he's the opposite. He's fully grown and the biggest cat I've ever seen in my life now, and smart and strong too. Even now that he's gotten used to being a big, lazy cat that lies in the sun all day, he's still timid and shows signs of having been abused. He's scared to death of the sound a garbage bag makes. He'd also never hurt anyone unless they were a serious threat to him. Oh, and he uses the toilet.
My other cat is actually one of his kittens, and I've had her since she was like 4 weeks old. She's spent most of her life with me so she's pretty much never not right next to me when I'm at home. She's the most affectionate cat I've ever met, and she's learning the toilet on her own.
I don't do shit as far as training them other than just yelling "bad cat" when they do something I don't like and then not giving them any attention for a while, and doing the opposite when they do something good.
Cats are great. They're so easy to deal with if you know how to deal with them the right way. Fucking dumb people treat them like dogs and then get mad at the cat when it won't behave like something it's not.
>>22974094
I'm pretty sure the majority of people that post here that aren't law enforcement are noguns. I'm noguns.
>wanting what I can't have
I like reading about mechanical things, and military stuff tends to cover lots of things.
I just learned about electroslag refining from a tank thread ^____^
>>22974334
Why do you care so much? While you were having this argument, I took a break, went to the eye doctor, got a new pair of glasses, had lunch with my dad, drove home, cooked dinner, had a beer, sat outside and had another beer and a cigarette while I watched the sun set, said hi to my friend next door, cleaned up my apartment, took a shower, packed my bong, smoked a bowl, listened to some music and 20 minutes ago I come back to my computer and here you are, still in this thread I forgot about and left open hours ago, still arguing about the same fucking thing.
You realize you haven't even been arguing with the same people, right? People come in to the thread, see you, post something, fuck with you for a while, get bored or have something come up, leave, and then new people replace them?
Yeah. You're just entertainment. You're a clown. A lolcow.
>>22974094
Frankly I'm more surprised that a board related to weapons is so strongly defensive of cats while being so indifferent to dogs. Dogs go hand-in-hand with hunters and the military.
Given that, your ad-hominem would be better served without the admission that you are a noguns on this board and typing up angry posts at me for disparaging cats. How do you think it looks when you admit to being a noguns and then paint an extremely vivid picture of a basement dweller? At the risk of returning the ad hominem, it has the appearance of projecting.
I could also pretend that you aren't in any other threads, and that this whole debacle has been the entirety of your contributions to this board. But that would be an unprovable point and a waste of space, wouldn't it?
So why are you doing it, then? Why the obsession with characterizing me as such a weak strawman? Why is this such an important angle for you to keep taking it?
>>22974492
There are so many smart people on /k/ you can't not learn something. Everyone has something they know everything about and they spread that knowledge to people who parrot it until advanced mechanical engineering is considered common knowledge. It's one of the great things about 4chan.
>>22974537
I have so little respect for you that anything you could possibly have to say against me is utterly meaningless simply because it originated from some black orifice on your vast expanse of soft, marble-white flesh.
You implying that I'm a basement dweller only proves I can't be, as anything you believe true is invalidated by it being you that believes it.
Basically, you're so fucking stupid that your existence is a paradox and everything you post on the internet should be considered the product of a glitch in the universe and ignored, like when your gun clips through the wall in a video game and you just pretend it didn't happen.
>>22974443
Cats that are raised well make fantastic companions, my hampster age kitten will come chill with me as soon as I sit down or get in bed. She's like 3 now but still extremely petite, she can't be more than 4 pounds.
>>22971657
I never thought that there could be a fatal case of autism, I believe we've made a medical breakthrough here anons.
>>22974094
Damn, anon, that was some world class internet CSI shit you just did. You left out the part about the running shoes with velcro instead of laces, at least 3 years old, and the soles are so thin you can stand on a dime and call heads or tails with perfect accuracy.
Clothes- sweatpants. Three pairs in different fake camo, one generic NFL team logo pair from K-Mart (thanks Mom!), two pairs with the local junior college team logo (remnant of that disastrous attempt at higher education), and one old pair from high school. These all do double duty as pajamas. Shirts are exclusively tee shirts from things like Magic tournaments or ComicCon.
An assortment of Sterilite containers stacked in the closet hold every fast food action figure ever made since 1983.
Something I don't have a handle on- what kind of porn does this guy collect in alphabetized folders on his desktop?
>>22974519
We all have our means of entertainment. You like to drink beer and smoke weed, and then hop on the internet to dress it up and make it sound like throwing in an errand or two makes you some super accomplished person with a life that you think someone you don't like on the internet must not have.
You'd notice, if you cared, the gaps in the timestamps between my posts as well. It's pretty silly to think that you're the only one who leaves tabs open to go run errands, take care of chores, make small talk with friends and family members, and returns to find the same thread active.
The critical difference being that I don't feel the need to fill you in on the mundane events of my daily life in a vain attempt to make you think I have more of one than you do.
Enjoy the entertainment. We're sharing it, after all.
>>22974685
What I'm saying is that you being here all day implies you did nothing and I listed everything I did as I thought a basement dweller such as yourself would have a hard time comprehending how one could be away from mommy's house for longer than it takes to drive her car to the gas station for snacks.
>>22974677
He faps to that shady "not quite CP" shit people post on /b/ where it's like a 12 year old girl in a bikini doing yoga and making an o face, but he's smart enough not to save it because his mom gets on his computer whenever she needs to print something.
>>22974233
Calicoes and torties tend to be shoulder cats. My last one used to sleep on my shoulder for hours.
I got this one when she was the size of a tennis ball. Fished her off of the transmission of a truck at work. She's about to jump to my shoulder in pic related
>>22967351
Sup Eric. I'm curious, does that up-armored bobcat intimidate you or makes you laugh?
>>22970055
>kitten mittens ftw
Bam. Solved x2
>>22974834
qt/10
My cat.
>>22974844
I'm not an Eric.
>>22969462
Priceless.
> Ehhhhh! What do I do, guise?!
Go to the doctor, you dumb fucking cunt.
Practice /k/at fu and exact your revenge.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHb21PVsJVo
Then refuse to hunt squash.
>>22970082
Okay, you clearly dont like cats.
Well guess what?if you hate cats so much, why do you visit this thread? To evangelize your hate for cats?
Here is my cat. She is playful and nice. She likes dogs and has never hissed ONCE in her entire life. We have been very loving with her, and her personality reflects that.
You are entitled to an opinion. Not always, however, shall you be welcome to share it.
Pack your opinion up and leave.
>>22974334
>Inappropriate escalation of force is common to many animals
Right there. That explains everything about you. No animal on this planet, with the exception of humans, uses inappropriate levels of force. To do otherwise would entail expending more energy than the situation warrants. That, in turn is contra-survival. Animals with a propensity for inappropriate force died out of the gene pool millenia ago.
You're using this argument to justify the fact that you are absolutely incapable of reading nonverbal communication. You have a hard time reading people, too.
>>22970627
Oh no look it's a vicious terrible cat
If it tries to claw me it must hate me
You sound like you misinterpret cat actions
>>22974671
The scary part is, we may be witnessing the genesis of The Perfect Gentleman v2.0
>>22974895
Heh. He's putting some serious effort into that nap. You gotta respect any species that considers sleeping to be a competitive sport.
>>22975128
Except that humans won.
So shut the fuck up asshole. We are also the only ones that drink milk as adults, just one of many things, along with complex natural language acquisition, that make us superior to any other beast on the earth.
>>22975314
>eat baby food as adults
>claims superiority over animals
>ololol
>>22974913
You're a damn Eric if the internet says you are.
>>22975330
0/10 there are whole cultures like some nomads in north Africa that wouldn't exist without drinking cow or goat's milk.
>>22975339
Alright fine I'm Eric (though my name is Cameron).
What armored bobcat are you even talking about?
>>22975416
Do you happen to live in Florida?
>>22975459
Why?
>>22975471
I know a Cameron in Florida
>>22975314
Humans won what?
Other animals drink milk as adults too, genius. You conveniently omitted the part about it being milk from another species. Adult dogs and cats drink cow milk all the time. Hell, even adult snakes drink milk when the opportunity presents itself. So your argument there is wrong. And lots of species have complex language forms. Including nonverbal, which seems to completely elude you.
What triggered you? Your mad is all out of proportion to what I said.
>>22975416
Oh that Bobcat is some other anon. I have no idea what that's about. You're Eric, you should know this stuff.
>>22975615
Oh well I'm in Florida.
I live right on the Ocala National Forest. Pretty great place overall. Nice and secluded as well.
>>22975294
Sometimes he's so unresponsive when he's sleeping I'll think he's dead and panic and wake him up and then he just looks at me like "you fucking dick" and falls back into a coma.
>>22975684
Any armored bobcat seems silly to me, even though I have no clue what you're talking about.
>>22975723
Nevermind then, you're not the guy I know
>>22973333
Can you PLEASE get a trip so we can fucking ignore you?
>>22975684
He spells his name with a c instead of a k, so clearly he's inferior to a real Erik
>>22975229
....Do I even want to know?
>>22975766
Excellent! I also have no clue what I'm talking about. I feel like we're making real progress here.
>>22975954
But Eric-with-a-c is the name we, acting in our capacity as the internet, decided he would have. Did we make an inferior product?
>>22974334
What are you hiding from with your over 9000 ocd levels?
>>22975987
He's obviously intelligent. Has an amazingly ego-centric world view. Has no respect, empathy, or compassion for any other living thing. Bottles up a lot of rage. Very eloquent on the internet, probably has great difficulty with face to face interactions. Undoubtedly virginal, and mid 20ish. White male. Either undertall or overweight. Not both. At any rate, has self image insecurities. Compensates... Well, read a sample of his posts.
Probably has a rich and well populated fantasy life. Spends a lot of time there. And his mind is twisted up like a whole headful of TATP. Bump it just the right way, it'll go off.
what the fuck is happening in this thread
>>22975778
He is now.
Daniel, meet Cameron from Ocaa National Forest, Florida.
>>22969462
>mfw mothers friend in Russia had a cat
>super nice old lady
>cat is a cunt to the max for no reason
>shitted in her shoes
>bit her toes at night constantly, clawed/chewed a hole through the bedroomdoor
>would constantly harass other cats and children
>left dogs alone because this was Russia, un-neutered strays are not to be fucked with
>old lady got sick of this cats shit
>gave it away to some farmer who need a cat to kill rats in an unused barn
>later found out the farmer just shot the cat because it attacked his daughter
You retrain and "fix" a broken dog, you can't fix a broken cat (at least I've never, ever heard it happening with a truly bad case meanwhile there are tons ex fighting dogs that are mostly okay), you just can't because cats don't work like that. But then again I've only seen a handful of cats that were this level douchebaggery, aside from the cat the old lady had they were all strays.
Stray cats are worse then coyotes.
>>22976321
Maybe he just really doesn't like cats.
>>22976470
Maybe he is BIDF? And a cat ate all his hatchlings.
>>22976503
The world may never know.
>>22969462
>call of duty
justice was served
My cat was killed by racoons a couple months ago. I killed all the racoons and burnt them. I'll remember you always Jax.
>>22976561
Rabies?
>>22976572
Not that I know of.
>>22976598
Really weird, raccoons are usually pussies.
Sorry for your loss anon. I'm sure Jax is in cat Valhalla.
>>22969660
>when outtahouse they hunt mices like it's 69' nam all over again
My fucking sides itocur ferpent
Oh fuck I just typed the captcha
>>22973333
>>22971992
>>22971189
>>22971051
>>22970873
>>22970747
>>22970627
>>22970496
>>22970368
>>22970165
>>22970082
>>22969875
>>22969462
Look retard. There are dangerous cats out there as well as dangerous dogs. If you go on youtube, you'll also find dog attack videos. You euthanize the animal and move on. 99/100 times if you raise an animal right, cat or dog, it will be a well-mannered and sociable animal. Shut the fuck up and contain your autism.
>Captcha for SPoors
even captcha thinks you're a fucking faggot.
Get the fuck over it.
>>22963040
Bite and kick bro, bite and kick.
Declawing is horribocalypse.
>>22971049
This.
I can carry my cat around upside down balanced on an arm or slung over my neck like a scarf and he just lays there, usually falling asleep.
Cat's aren't hard if you raise them right (like any pet) and learn to read their body language (like any pet).
>>22974537
>muh dog red herring
>muh projecting
>if you disagree with me you are no guns
>>22976921
One of the greatest collections of autism ever seen by man
