Meanwhile, in medieval /k/...
>>22423603
two handed long swords > one handed short swords > shit > mace >>>>>>>>>>>>> crossbow
needs moar zergface
>>22423654
>1537
>not utilizing a crossbow on unarmoredfags
on the other side of the spectrum
>not using a mace
>good against unarmored and armoredfags
bunch of plebs in here
>>22423654
Who even uses a crossbow?
I'll take the faster fire rate of a normal bow over the heavier bolt any day. Arrows already have more than enough stopping power.
LOL raped another poorfag's daughter. Being a rich as fuck knight sure is awesome.
Poorfags are having more and more pretty ones.
Why does everywhere I go smell like feces?
Why do the rich fags smell like feces with perfume thrown on top?
>pondering the weapon racks at ye old blacksmith
>hark, a foul wenc whom supports her children's that doth play with round ball upon the kings meadows
>she gazes upon my visage from the street and begins to chant
>she compares me to a crazed peasant from the east and shows distain for my right to protect my lands
>tell her to begone
>she doth persists
>kings guard called, they split her head and offer apologies
>return home with squire carrying new mosin nagatana
>still no fair maiden to show arsenal
>>22423688
>Fucking peasants
Absolutely Disgusting. Please tell me you at least washed it first. Lord knows they don't know how to bathe themselves.
Oi cunt wot? Who r u eyeing m8? u sum kind uf poof?
>>22423709
>bathing
>not covering yourself in ballerass perfumes
It's like you want to increase the moist humors.
>>22423709
>He doesn't fuck peasants
LOL what a gay
Aristocrat women are for marriage
Peasant women are for fun
>>22423708
Alas, the emotions that one gets when one lacks a fair maiden who doth appreciate thine weaponry.
Well ive been conscripted into His Majesty's army, are any other chaps here going to help me remove croissant?
>>22423687
This. Have fun getting sliced in half when you miss your first shot and have to reload.
There hasn't been a moment in muh lyfe that I haven't had the smell of poop up me nostrils.
I will likely die before I hit age 12.
My life is suffering. Why do future folk jerk off to our time?
>>22423709
Bathing? Methinks thou is a Hebrew! Are thou going to poison the fair town's wells with thine Jewery? Begone Hebrew knave and do not return sirrah!
So I found this girl with a tail and wolf ears in my cart the other day. She's really clinging on to me. What should I do?
>>22423785
Sell her or kill her. Either after you rape her of course.
>>22423769
Peasant you must bathe in the salt waters then wrap thineself in warmed garments.
>>22423785
It's obviously a witch.
>>22423738
have fun when your dirt humors get ruined, one of slow mind
>in other news
>be innahome
>god damn peasants break in, demanding i turn in my fine arms and armor
>IDothNotThinkSo.tapestry
>start using muh broadsword, cleaving poorfags in twain
>the best armed one only brought a stick
>king is filled with anger humours
what do, /k/?
>>22423764
I too hath been consripted. I was assigned a longbow to remove croissant with. What hath thy been assigned to?
>>22423785
YE WHO CONSORTS WITH BEASTS
>>22423769
You must have survived 8 more winters before you inquire within these forums
Begone knave
>>22423799
>>22423791
She is kind of nice though. Wouldn't want to rape&burn her just yet.
>>22423769
Leave, winterfag, you have no place here
>>22423785
Be sure to buy her a comb for her tail, also oil too, and make sure you have a large booze budget.
>>22423785
She is a tool of the devil. Bury her alive and attend a prayer but not after ingesting holy water and full moon dew to cleanse thyneself
>>22423799
If thy maidens weight is less than or equal to a duck, then she's a witch
>>22423769
You spouteth lies like a heretic, a man who makes it to twenty and one years of age can expect another to live another forty, God and king willing.
>>22423654
>twö händëd löng swörds
>gööd
thïs ïs what änglës rëälly bëlëäve
>>22423785
Send her to your local doctor,have him alter her beast humors, then burn her on the stake, just to be safe, if she refuses to see the kind doc, stab her with a silver blade, it's the only way
>yfw no qt princess gf
>>22423829
only useful on crowds of peasants, to truly butcher them at speed, do take a look at
>>22423802
>examine texts
>not an ax to be found
Thou all art 0/7, wouldst not ride withal
>>22423785
This is your future, just get ready for it. Also don't forget that wolves have litters.
Seven apples on the witch's tree
With seven seeds to plant inside of me.
>>22423848
Raid a mansion or castle
>>22423817
LOL what a gay
Our fair military has befallen hard times if this is the kind of man that makes up our ranks.
>doesn't want to rape
Knighthood means nothing these days
>>22423852
>ax
>topheavy AF
>wood handle will break after cleaving a SINGLE PEASANT in twain
>any metal handle will be full One-of-slow-mind heavy
It's only good for wood, and you know it
>>22423863
I happen to be a mere merchant and hence I ask advice from you wise men of arms.
Has thou seent that new fandangled devil powder from Cathay? Goes through plate like King Harlus goes through butter.
>>22423886
maces are great for bludgeoning armorfags
broadswords are only good on unarmoured peasants
axes are useful or wood and nothing else
>>22423848
>learn of princess who is traveling on the King's Highway
>set up ambush
>kill her guards
>take princess to your own manor
>have your priest brother perform the ceremony
>when her father comes to get her tell him that you two are married and you need him to give you a dowry
>become a noble lord
>????
>PROFIT
It worked for Rollo the Norman, how his line became the Dukes of Normandy.
>>22423901
My new halberd uses that stuff can take out a knight in plate at 50 paces
>>22423901
hmm yes, I've done my research on those, but really a mace can ruin armor for much cheaper and has less weight
>>22423901
But that is against the code of Chivalry! All such users of that foul powder shall be given no quarter for they do not fight like honest men!
>>22423980
>implying honest men do the devil's work
>>22423851
Nëj Ödin önly güïdes blädë öf äxë ïn tö skülls öf pëäcë lövërs.
>>22424013
I shall have you know that I went on Crusade to the Holy Land to remove kebab from the lands where Christ walked! Perhaps you could show me your Papal indulgence as a Crusader?
>>22424041
I have bought 3 indulgences this month alone, knave.
Dear /armi/,
What weapon should I procure for my wyfe so that she may defend my chateau, my children, and get honor when I am away in London? She is of stout peasant stock, but is, as her sex is inclined to be, fearful of sharpe blades and the report if the handgonne. Would a small bowe be best?
>>22423871
Wëak anglës cant ëvën clëave with axë. Evën shiëldmaiden can clëave with axë.
>>22424065
>implying a purchased indulgence is better than one given to Crusaders
>>22424075
*her honor. Drat this scribe! No wonder the monastery rejected him!
>>22424017
>axe
>all the weight of a broadsword, with 1/5th the blade, and a quickly breaking handle
>>22424075
hmm, perhaps a small crossbow and a dagger? who knows, perhaps attach the dagger to the front of the crossbow, so she can fire and stab in a rapid, swift movement
>>22423901
'Tis but a passing thing, thou spotty-face. We live in the Lord's gilded age of arms and armor! Next thou shalt quoth to see a man fly!
>>22424080
>impling the axe is good in general, except for wood-chopping
If you didn't have the ability to read, i'd ask if you were a peasant!
>>22423685
knave please war hammer master race
>>22424288
My only arguement against the warhammer is all the weight and slowed speed, and how i can buy 3 maces for the price of one warhammer
>>22423603
can anyone recommend a good cuirassmaker?
Hath one among you seen the latest work of AcrobatFellowNinetyAndOne? Whenst looking on, I did recoil as though I had beheld a peasant clad in fully iron plate.
>>22424205
Yöur mönastëriës will burn.
>>22424340
>implying monasteries
>implying i dont spend every single sundial rotation reading scrolls about modern arms and chart everything
the only good thing the axe can manage over a mace is a blade instead of a metal ball that shatters your enemies bones, and blades are only good against unarmored fags
>>22424327
Chilled Iron is a trust worthy guild
>>22424407
>Chilled Iron
>Trustworthy
Pick one of the two, knave, and no more!
Chilled Iron is only famous due to the marketplace assassins and is only popular among that group.
A man at arms in the retinue of my lord purchased a Chilled Iron broadsword, and after only three swings against peasants, the blade came loose from the hilt! Now, the worthy man at arms thought quickly and drew his dagger so he could retreat. My lord's master smith examined the Chilled iron blade and found its quality to be lacking severely.
Avoid them at all costs, for their weapons are not made for the rigors of combat, but for knaves such as yourself to carry and hang on their mother's wall while they pretend to be knights and men at arms.
>warlords still fucking shit up
>peasants start revolts
>fucking ganked by all these rice paddy niggers
>katana breaks because shitty steel
>fighting other samurai all the time
>goddamn mongols and Chinese invading fucking everywhere
>fuck ninjas
Please tell me Round-Eye Land is better.
>>22423927
say that to my face frank not online and see what happens
>>22425090
>barons revolt against king
>kebab still in Spain
>goddamn Tatars in Poland and Russia.
>Turks finishing off the last remnants of the Roman Empire
> 2, sometimes 3 Popes creating all kinds of trouble
>peasants now have gunpowder, punches hole in breastplate
>Holy Land holdings reduced, Kingdom of Jerusalem reduced to Acre
>fighting French knights all the damn time
>motherfucking Hashashin
I don't know, I may want to go to your slant eye land...
>>22425212
>implying the norsemen would still be a threat if not for the Byzantine money.
>>22425090
Come to the Golden City of Kiev.
Its green and healthy all around, the people are nice, you have based Orthodox christianity (and we dont give a fuck if you are not christians) and I can absolutely assure you, that no fucking mongols will ever come as far as here.
And even if, I'm sure we would defeat them without problems; I mean, the Rus are a mix of vikings and steppe nomads, there is no way that a bunch of asian horsefuckers would ever best us.
>>22425212
>wooden shaft
theres your problem, again, once the blade hits platemail, itll hurt armorbro, but the axe will break, maces are made to hurt platemail specifically, and as such can also ruin an unarmoured peasants day, yo
>>22424407
Begone, ChilledIronKnave.
>all of my knight friends make fun of me when they rape and pillage while I only pillage and write poems and ponder.
what do I do?
>Still paying full price for damascus steel swords, when Toledo steel is half the price
>>22425445
Go back to your monastery, for you sound like a monk.
>>22425445
wow thou needest aid for all thine edge.
SYKETH.
>>22425445
don't teach peasants to write, for that will be our downfall
>>22423785
learn economics.
How much gold would this be worth along with alot of soap?
If it was medieval /k/ there would be tons of poorfags still hauling around old Romeshit weapons and gear the same as modern /k/ has tons of Slavshit.
captchaL esdted Irishwomen
>>22426365
pls, poorfags would be using pitchforks and voulges and other peasant weapons.
>>22426252
Your buying range is really limited to rich folks who don't wanna go to public bathhouses, but it's an outside model so I don't think anyone would want it.
Killing German king best day of my life
Peasant swagger.
There's this great invention from the East called soap. You Pope worshippers should try it.
>>22427052
>Eastern soap of the Sandalle Woods
I wouldst not smell of a heathen temple, I thank thee kindly. My forefathers and all those of the stead in which I tend my lands have made our baths for o'er a thousand of the Lord's years with soap of tallow, ash, and the sweet-smelling produce of our forests. Our heathen ancestors did smell of clean humors, as we enlightened Christians do in this modern age.
Still worshipping your pointed stick spearfag?
>Poorfags can't into halberd masterrace
Joined a local HEMA club yesterday. We're doing german longsword. We can't afford steel and don't like sinthetic, but the teacher is a carpenter who does some really nice and moderately detailed wooden swords. He offered to make one for me after the model I choose. What should I ask for?
>>22427967
Art thou a subject of such a poor realm that thine footmen are not issued halberds by they king? I weep for thee, poor plebeian. No, even a pleb has wealth, despite it being in goods rather than land. Thou art little more than a serf, I surmise.
>>22425554
>Toledo steel
Why pay for that when you can be baller as fuck with the max style of Damascus? This could match even Muramasa Sengo's blades, Round-Eye.
>>22423697
>>22423709
>>22423769
>>22423774
>>22427887
(Out of character comment: Sorry but the historian in me just can't let this go. The idea that medieval people never bathed and thought that bathing was harmful is a myth. Medieval people were actually very concerned about personal hygine, although for different reasons than us. They thought that poor body odour and dirtiness indicated the presense of sin and poor moral character. So even peasants made sure to wash themselves every day. True you didn't immerse yourself in water like we do unless you were rich but you could still haul water from the well, scrub yourself with soap and then rinse yourself off. Priests at the time did rail against public and communal bathing, but that was because they thought it led to lewd behavior.
The idea that medieval people never bathed was invented during the Enlightenment era, along with the notion that medieval people thought the world was flat, and that a nobleman could sleep with any female peasant on her wedding night, in order to discredit the old medieval order that enlightenment era intellectuals were trying to overthrow.)
Okay rant over. Sorry but the idea that no one back then bathed just drives me up the wall.
>>22431099
Verily, 'tis comforting to see one who hath not the intellect of a peasant.
>>22423603
>nay to ballista
>nay to catapults
>Our final destination shall be decided on field yonder
>>22423863
Don't call yourself a knight if you can't even follow the creed you knave. Armour totting brigands such as yourself have done much to tarnish our name.
>>22423654
>Butt hurt knight detected
What's the matter? Your expensive armor couldn't block crossbow bolts?
>>22426365
I hath just purchased this surplus gladius for mine black smith's bargain rack for only one silver piece. he sayth that many more shall cometh because the olde empire armories arth being opened.
>>22431902
Thou should know all combat is"Thou pay, Thou win"
I just joined the Varangian guard
How fuck am I?
>>22432298
You should have just joined a free lance unit, pay and benefits are much better. My brother was a sellsword and he said its way better than serving was.
>>22423802
>broadsword
>in house
have you no wits?
>>22432366
>>22423603
Bonjour Bonhommes!
What is ze best wepen to foque up an armoured gens d'armes?
Just asking mon amis.
>>22423863
Observe the spotted urchin yonder! So desperate is he to appear as knight, full grown, unto his peers that he doth strive to spake as though he were a character from one of his illuminated scrolls of comic tales. For, much to the amusement of all about him, he hath confused the conduct of the characters in said scrolls for that of true knights!
Forsooth! Harken unto this reaction tapestry and thou shalt see mine face as I read the scribbling of this most entertaining page.
My fellow /k/nights,
So the other night I was laying my seed inside of some cute peasant woman. Once I was putting my armor and sword back on she told me nobody needs a sword and that she'll lie tell the other maidens that I posses an inferior naked sword. So I told the kings men that she was a witch and she was burned before she could tell the other peasant girls. What's the deal with these anti sworders and their obsession with claiming we have small phallus? Damn wenches.
>>22423603
Selaam, Effendi. My name is Kerman Aslanul Papadapolonolgu.
I'm a 15 year old Greek Turkophile. I draw rosette flowers and geometric Arabesque designs for mosques and spend my days playing the shawm for a mehter band (Ceddin Dedden, Hukum Marsi, Ambassador Marsi)
I train with my composite bow, musket, mace, kilij saber, spear, and javelin (both on foot and mounted) everyday. My training regime keeps me superior over any other infidel who only specialize in one weapon. The Spahi approves of my training and I shall be selected for the annual Devirsme Child-Slave tax next year.
I speak Turkish fluently, both the original Seljuk and the Ionian "Rum" dialect and I write fluently as well. I know everything of Turkish history from their humble beginnings as wandering nomads to their glorious conquest of COnstantinople (properly called Istanbul, infidels).
When the governor places me to slavery, I am moving to Istanbul to train in the prestigious Janissary Military Academy near Topkapi palace. I hope I can become one to fight against the Infidels of Europe, or decide who the next sultan will be!
I own several turbans, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I am enslaved, so I can serve the Sultan easier. I bow to the homosexual desires of my elders and seniors and yell in Turkish as they thrust their flaccid penises in my tender backside, but rarely does anyone want me in their bed.
What the fuck is wrong with us
>>22432494
Do you really have to ask?
Have you /k/nights heard about the happening nonsense about this so called "black death" plague, tis total nonsense the likes of those who wear helmets of foil.
>>22432534
>not wearing foil underneath thy helmet
It seems as if you want the kings wizards to read your mind.
þah bohte a ealniwe wÃgbill, hit brute, ic béon awédan!!
>not understanding anglo saxon
>plebs
>>22432567
>Speaking the language of heathen filth
>>22432534
IT IS OCCURING! Tis time to take up mine crossbow and repair into yon forest!
>tfw no coins
>>22432582
Tis but a minor pox probably caused by an angered witch, twill pass quickly.
>>22432593
Hark! Yon coin lender has arrived in town. Doth is known as Ibrahim Shekelberg,
>>22432406
goedendag uwe heer, ik raade uw aan om een goedendag te gebruiken.
>>22432573
>believing in a pretty chrstian god
>not believing in pagan gods of the earth
>harken
>a fine dayeth
>a merry hunt o'the hart
>'swounds!
>the heart of alabaster
>it escapeth
Mine visage when.
>upon a holy day after church
>a monk readeth me fantastic tales from 'the book' about the crucifixion of our lord and saviour
I'll warrant that the hebrews are at fault for this .tapestry
>>22423741
I never get tired of this one
>>22423685
>mace
>unarmoured
Pleb
>crossbow
>outside the castle
Pleb ye knoweth nothing
>>22423687
>bow
>on a castle
Pleb
>stopping power
>bow
Peasant fag detected, come back with some plate and then we'll talk
>>22423697
Silence child, do you know who you are addressing?
>>22423708
Good tale my lad, 10/10 would sip wine and fornicate with
>>22423738
>peasant women are for fun
Agreed, good sir, it's always good to get some practice in some time
>>22423785
Execute her you knave
>>22423803
>longbow
>working against croissant
Ha, fool, haven't you heard, we superior French men have got ye English type by the neck, ye incontinent English folk can not into plate
>>22423852
>axe
>being this pleb he can't afford a good sword or pollaxe
I shiggeth diggeth
>>22423901
Ah but can he aim, what should happen if a spot of smoke and fog rolls about, then ye will be at my will
>>22424075
Ye are the male of that bonding, assert thous dominance upon her, and a bow couldn't do a knacker against a robber in hide, at least not one she could wield, a dagger be best fit for her, but I must inquire, why haven't ye created a first borne, he should be the one to defend the misses for she could be of wicked nature and stab ye in the back, be weary of wenches commoner
>>22425212
>lamellar
>axe
Ahaha we have here a peasant of the sort, thinks he could take me on a man such as me self eh, we'll enjoy ye arrows in ye body, lances in ye chest, and my sword at ye neck
>>22425445
seeketh consolation as a scribe or a monk
>>22426644
Peasant, knave silence thee self fool, or should we need burn ye village to the ground once more.
>>22431902
Fool, ye talk from thou's bottomside, a crossbow bolt couldn't penetrate my skin
>>22432406
For one such as ye self, a peasant that being, a billhook seems to fit your acquaintance well, hook the knight from his horse and sell him for a ransom
>>22432479
Disgusting impure fare skinned heathen, ye couldn't even conquer bysantine without the crusaders help
>>22431099
What about open sewers, chamberpots and horse manure?
>>22432534
It's clearly the cats that are spreading it. If the cats go away, we'll all be safe
>>22433265
So long as you personally didn't smell like a sewer, chamberpot or horse manure, you were in the clear.
>>22429957
>implying your strange Nippon scimitars are not made of junk steel.
>>22423603
Ni hao, subject of the Middle Kingdom! One must ask: why do you need an unfilial, kinslaying, prefect-slaying crossbow with ASSAILING QUIVERS??
>>22433282
Art thou insane? Tis the work of the Hebrews! Those killers of Christ are poisoning the wells of Christian towns! Thou should do as the men along the Rhine, and torture all Jews until they tell you where they got the vile miasma that they pour down the wells.
A female approached me and demanded I shave my beard as it was oppressing her. She said she came from ye tumblr and that I needed a "trigger warning". So I burnt down her village and her crops.
Wenches gots to learn.
>my visage when a man of the east attempts to pierce my plate armor with his flimsy toothpic of a sword
>>22424329
Nay, overheard a swath of peasants chattering on about tundra aquila and the tremendous power they possess when carried in secret. I could only assume they had partaken in the teachings of the AcrobatFellow.
>the year that is this
>sodomizers abound
bumpeth
>>22423603
Grammercy! What hath mine earf hearkened to, you miferable wretch? You would be well ferved to learn that mine hath been the blade a-flewn over fifteen-score-and-ten of the moorish scourge and hold the rank of vaffel to Rome itfelf. Honed are my skills in, shall we say, unconventional chivalry and most renowned if my practice of it. Verily, ye art naught to mine eyef but another notch in my fecond-belt. With vigor and grace, hitherto unknown in the realms of Christendom, fhalst I cleave thee in twain. Think you yourfelf fafe behind the twifted veils of thif feries of tubes? Nay! At thif very moment, mine dedicated network of fheperd-fpies and ferfdoms do clofe in upon thine positioning. Brace yourfelf and fteel your mettle, for this ftorm shall fhuffle off thine mortal coil once and for all! I canft be anyplace you might wifh to steal away, and the veriety of dispatchments I couldft make of your final hourf - with naught but naked fist - are many indeed! Not only have the crafty mafters of the orient trained mine hanf; mine if the length and breadth of Christendom's armoury! If you had but known the unholy fury that yourf ejaculation wouldst bring upon you and your household, mayhap, perchance thy toungue might have been kept, and my wrath averted. Alaf, you hadn't not, you born-and-bred cur. I shall defecate divine retribution and you will breathe thy laft within it'f confinef. Your life if not worth the snap of a twin underfoot.
I did buy a weapon from beyond the pond yonder,
they sent it to me in pieces leaving me tossing turning sleepless, I must forfiet more gold to have it fixed by some shoddy gunsmith for more than i paid for it :[
This rowdy unshaven peasant dressed in "beige" who dare'd to suggest our horses are spineless cowardly creatures that would not carry their most noble riders into combat should be stoppe'd ere he pollutes the thoughts of other feeble minded peasants with his nonsense.
>>22437487
Fellow men at arms, I beseech the to honor my request.
I require aid. I have ridden long from the lands which I called home, paid by a Boyar of Muscovy, to help him with a little problem.
While out hunting, he lost one of his men at arms, and days later, the man came back: changed, with sickeningly bruised skin and a hunched back and a strange gait. He behaved strangely, but for someone who had just "survived a boar attack" it was nothing out of the ordinary.
Little did the Boyar know that an insidious infection was beginning to take hold. This man lured his fellow hunters into the woods to "wash his wounds out in a stream" and soon more men returned changed. They then returned to their families and continued this process: something stealing their skins,if not their souls, and walking amongst us almost unnoticed.
Fearing the worst, that this infection would reach Novgorod, the Boyar paid me to help him assuage his problem. However, it was far too late.
His small hamlet is overrun with these creatures: appearing as broken men in the daylight, but filling the night air with chittering and guttural perversions of speech as the sun falls. We have hold up in his castle, as the "flesh-walkers" cannot seem to scale the walls nor seem to attempt to break down the door. Methinks they behave like the night-creatures of Lord Tepes' lands, and must be invited in.
Bless the stonemason that built these walls, but we are out of arrows and have naught but three months food left. Leaving would be suicide, as Novgorod is at the least four days ride away: they would take us at night.
Please, my fellow /k/nights, harken to my aid. There is gold, and many jewels, for those who come. This Boyar is a greedy man, but not stupid, he can regain his wealth but not his life.
I trust this falcon hath found one of the brotherhood to relay this message. Attached is a scribe's impression of mine own countenance as I returned from the first and only time we sallied out to meet them.
>>22441399
>not thine personal warband
>>22427967
>halberd
>all the impracticalities of an axe and a broadsword in ONE
(out of character, but it's the semi auto 22 filled with remington in terms of practicality)
>>22432366
>not slaying 7 peasants with a single strike
It's like you desire engaged combat with those disgusting creatures
>>22432406
mace, or if you desire more length and power, a warhammer, as blades will hit and break and blunt objects will crush the enemies!
>also good for breaking bones of those of no royalty
>>22441399
I think I got this covered, bro.
It'll take me a few tries, but I'll take care of it.
