The other night was very interesting for me.
>Be me
>Browsing Craigslist for traps and fat chicks
>Hear a knock at the front door
>Start to go downstairs thinking my sister locked herself out when she went to do laundry
>My sister comes out of her room
>My mother asks who's knocking
>DEFCON 1 erection engaged
>The knocking continues and it's getting harder
>I can see it's a woman about my height with bushy negro hair standing right up against the door banging
>Open the side window and ask who it is and what they want
>She starts crying and saying she lost her family
Mind you, this is at 23:30 and she is to damn big to be crying about her lost family
>This is a fucking crackhead and she's going to stab me with a rusty fillet knife if I open this door
>Go and get Mossberg 500, come back, tell her I'm armed and to leave immediately.
>She bangs harder and starts shaking the for knob
>Say call 911, I put my bead on center mass on the door in case she busts down the door.
>Tell her the police are on their way and they can help her find her family
>She runs away to the next house then the next and starts screaming the same shit
>Nice tits though, watch them jiggle and it intensifies my tactical boner
>Hear dogs barking then a loud scream from 2 do down
>Call 911 and tell them we need an ambulance for possible dog bites and a psych eval. Tell them in a firefighter and my sister is an EMT, we'll keep things under control until the arrive
To be continued
Why the fuck didn't you type this beforehand? Gotta love me some black boobies, though.
>>30000140
Did you become range buddies after?
>go outside and she's limping around
>Neighbors come out and start asking what's going on
>Give them the cliff notes and one woman decided to go and try to hug cracky McTits to comfort her
>Tell her that's not the best idea but she won't listen
>Girl starts saying she was kidnapped and escaped when her kidnapper left the room
>Grab my radio from the car to get an ETA on a bus and called our driver to give him a heads up
>Entertain the BS story and find out she's supposed to be on seizure meds but hasn't taken them in a week
>harlemshakeinbound.exe
>Find it she's 17 and she can't remember her name, address or how long she's been gone for
>Cop pulls up and asks where the dog is
>Doggo is gone, he belongs to someone around here
>Thank you Jesus the ambulance is here
>Load her up and the EMT cuts off her pants, see underage cooch. Lovely night so far
>Speak with the chief, he knows the girl and calls her mother who shows up completely disinterested in what's going on.
>They leave and I go back inside to finish my Craigslist browsing.
So long and short, this girl lied about everything. She has mental issues and ran away from home by climbing out of a window. The dog didn't bite her and the cop told me that she tried to blame me for her scratched to shit leg. She's still on her 72 hour eval.
If she had been able to budge the door or if she went for a window, she would have been catching cheep Walmart 00 buck to the chest.
So where can I go to find some good NSA fuck buddies?
>>30000175
On my phone, figure I'd post this since it was recent and /k related. I've seen to much fucked up shit in the neighborhood but luckily this one is the only one that involved the Mossman.
The ass was fat too.
>>30000277
You should have shot her anyway, would have saved the taxpayer some money.
Pretty sad story desu idk why you make it sound like something you are proud of
>>30000311
This
>>30000277
Those seizure meds double as mood stabilizers. She's probably bipolar having a manic episode.
Source: I'm a doctor
>>30000345
I'm not proud of it honestly. It was sad to watch and even sadder to experience since my Chief told me what happened that I was not privy to. Cute girl too, she just has a list of problems. The sad thing is, someone's going to stick their dick in that and we all know about dicking crazy.
>be me
No fucking really?
>>30000519
>he doesn't know the proper greentext format
>>30000140
What is it with Honkies and shooting unarmed black kids? You run to the door with a 12 gauge when a little girl knocks? What do you pack when an actual threat comes knocking, a nuke? Stop being a pussy. And move out of your mom's basement.
>>30000311
This tbqh familia
So no one knows where I can find some fat chicks or traps?
>>30000277
Should've opened the door that little much and when she burst in, unloaded shells of buckshot into her chest.
It would've been self defence.
>>30000519
FUCK OFF NEWFAG LEDDIT SHIT
REEEEEEEEEEEE
>>30000568
Try /B/?
>>30000601
>uppercase
nigga....
>>30000175
>Gotta love me some black boobies, though.
My man.
>>30000601
Can I fuck them? I've got blue balls like fuck
>>30000536
>He uses Reddit greentext format
>>30000634
>uppercase letter starting a greentext
wew nice projecting m8 >>>/reddit/
>>30000677
>It's the first letter of the post
Learn your memetext format my Reddit-affiliated friend.
>>30000277
5 parts interesting
5 parts funny
10 parts I'm glad you aren't my neighbor
>too pussy to open the door
>go outside to help
Yeah, sure.
>A crazy person knocked on my door
>I had a gun in my hand
>Nothing interesting happened
>I wanna fuck a guy
>Am I /k/ famous now.
>What should my trip be?
>>30000175
>tfw dating a half Caribbean half black regress
>tfw COLONIZING dem fat negro tits like a motherfucker
>>30000519
Who else are you supposed to be?
>>30000634
First line
>be x
Is useful for establishing context. Greentext stories are regularly told in the first person despite not being the poster's story
>Be my father, 1972
For instance. The format clears up any potential confusion and establishes exactly who the speaker is.
>>30000519
Found the newfag
>>30000846
Thanks for your helpful advice, Mr. Redditor, you're right to say that it helps in establishing context but we at 4chan are capable enough to assume that, if no additional context is given, the poster is talking about themselves.
>>30000488
>im a doctor
Somehow i beleive this , well at least a lot more than OP being a fireman
Im a skeleton
>>30000563
Wtf? Shitty bait m80 considering I'm black.
>>30000806
This neighborhood is know for people kicking in your for to rek your shit.
>>30000823
I make no apologies. This Cambodian Bakery Enthusiasts Board has ruined me as a person.
>>30000277
>see underage cooch. Lovely night so far
17, underage? How very puritanical.
>>30000277
>cuts off her pants, see underage cooch.
They wouldn't cut that far
>>30000765
Kinda wish he was my neighbor desu. My neighbors are methheads into witchcraft and shamanism and me and OP share an affinity for fat chicks, traps, and mossberg 500s
>>30000277
ur an FDNY emt faggot arnt ya
>implying anyone says bus besides NYC faggots
>>30000277
She tried to blame you? Crazy bitch. Good on you though.
>>30000277
What the fuck is this NSA thing I keep seeing everywhere? Someone please explain
>>30002284
"No Strings Attached".
>>30000886
Dr. Anon >>30000488 is right. A lot of mood stabilizers are also anti-seizure meds.
Source: I take mood stabilizers
>>30000304
>>30000140
Trap here,
Whats your location??
>>30002131
Long island volunteer. Close though.
