Hey, was wondering if i could get some feedback on a story I'm writing, I know it's not visual art but it's still art... Will post the first chapter after this too. Haven't got a name yet..
On the biggest planet in the Terraform system there is the biggest country, and in that country on the smallest island there is a city which holds over a thousand bars. And on the busiest street in the Kucho district of busy bars there is only one solid oak door fixed with brass working and melted signet rings as a door handle, this door stands 7ft tall and most lifeforms being carbon based or meta can access its' fixture with the right codex. But what this door leads to know many don't know or understand as within its' layers and walls there is the worlds longest bar. And with the worlds longest bar comes one of the systems biggest pay checks, an offer not many will turn down.
go to /lit/, look for their "Critique Thread," and post it in there
Chapter 1:
packing for the 6th time in 7 years Fox carried light. Before it was mostly about saving various pieces of furniture or beloved clothes but these days it was about the smaller things, toothpaste was something of a commidity and hard to find on many of the planets in the Terraform so having at least two tubes meant bartering... And fresh breath. The bar scene had dried up on Bahleed, a once proud epitome of the largest and strangest cocktails there wasn't even a hole in the wall left to serve a basic round of flare shots, besides only an idiot would order a flare shot. Bartending was a form of escaping, it was a way of paying the bills but not being tied down. You can be a bartender anywhere but you always seem to end up taking jobs with the deadbeats and losers of the planet which is what happened on Bahleed.
Taking a final look around the once bright and shiny room Fox saw nothing left in this place, it was no where the home it used to be. It became a prison. A loud series of knocks and frantic shouts begin to fill the hostile emptiness "Your shifts' in 5 minutes Fox! Get your fucking ass out here and ready to service some stock." This was the last time Fox was ever going to let someone pollute his ears with such blatent shit "Sure thing man, let me just find something to wear other than this obvious excuse for a smile and I'll be there now." Even pretending to care was a chore for him now, it was going to take two minutes to jump out the window (if it still opened) excavate down the fire shaft, land on either just cardboard or cardboard mixed with hunatas bottles, the only problem with hunatas being that it's great to drink with a pint but if it touches anything other than the inside of a body you become very intoxicated for a short amount of time.
>>2320673
Sorry I'll pop it over there now...
