I don't know if it is depression or something else, but losing your passion for art. Art was what I did for around 20 years then I gradually lost all passion for it. Stopped caring, working, doing. Yes, I had a period of depression, but now when it is gone... still nothing.
I'm good at what I do, I have everything lined up for me, a career if I wanted, fame if I wanted, anything. But I feel nothing when I paint or draw.
Sure, I collect references, keep art in mind every single day, make efforts to draw and create pieces once in a blue moon---it is never the same.
I just lost it. Anyone else feel/felt like this?
What can one do?
Feeling pretty anguished that I feel nothing for the best thing in my life. Throwing away time and talent and the work I put into this trade.
Shit. 20 years is more than almost half of /ic/ members were alive. Anyway, yes, you're not the only one.
Your problem is probably not an art problem. Take a look at anything else that's going on in your life right now. We need more information, OP.
Speaking of depression, we should have a section in the sticky regarding depression and how to grit through it. If you haven't noticed already, vast majority of problems we have regarding art isn't related to art at all. It's our attitudes, self inflicted barriers, and life stuff beyond our control that affect us. We have more than enough resources on the internet to learn the technical side of art without going to school, what we need most is a pep talk to save us from ourselves.
>>2573436
Maybe it is depression, I've struggled so long with it I feel like it is a part of my personality. It just bothers me so much that when I used to paint I would have such joy, pride, and satisfaction in it. But now I feel nothing at all. And I don't want to give up on it. But I am so completely without feeling when I approach it, I can get more satisfaction from eating a snack or taking a shit than from doing anything artistic. I don't want to admit that it is depression. I was on a lot of medications and even then it didn't help with this issue--even when my depression was halted, so was everything else, I guess. I'll look into it.
>>2573420
that's a pretty cool drawing
>>2573436
Thank you, by the way.
>>2573455
It was called Anguish, or something. Here's another one to express myself.
>>2573460
It's called Pinocchio's Anguish, kinda mortifying.
>>2573460
AAAAAAAAA
>>2573453
It was only a matter of time until it crept its hands into your art career.
Medication alone ain't gonna help because it doesn't deal with why you're depressed. They're meant to be a temporary crutch to help you get through your day while you're also fixing on the root problems of your depression with a therapist. Depression is a symptom of several things wrong in your life that you want to change but either can't or don't know how. That's why people describe it as being lost, numb, stuck, and helpless. It doesn't just happen in a vacuum, and it's not just "chemical imbalances" in your brain most of the time.
I am betting you've seen therapists, otherwise you wouldn't have had access to medication. Anyway it's not an art problem. This is beyond what some internet strangers can help you with. We don't know enough information to really give you advice. However, I can give you some pointers, maybe they'll be helpful, maybe not. They helped me at least:
1. Seriously self reflect and start writing a journal about why you ended up where you are. You got to keep record of things.
2. Think about who you are. What defines you? Where do you place your identity? What are your values? It's funny that a lot of our conflict and problems come from our lack of defining ourselves.
3. Think of questions to ask yourself. Anything you can think of. What choices did you make in the past? What things were beyond your control? What you wish would've happened. What about art has kept you going for the last 20 years? What changed?
4. So you define what your problems (or anything less than ideal) are, and brainstorm what can you do to change them.
It's a start.
cool drawing btw.
>>2573420
My advice, stop worrying. If you still feel the need to draw, then there is hope. True detachment from art would have left you completely apathetic towards it. You are fixated on numbers and could-haves, you feel as if your life was wasted, and if you approach art with the same mentality you wrote this post with, then you're panicking somewhere. If there is anything I learned, its that panic clinches ability like little else. It starts being less about art and more about some panic induced goal or standard that almost never works out, and before you know it you are in a cyclic, self fulfilling prophecy. My advice is too relax, and gradually let yourself get back into the swing of things, not a drawing every blue moon, but aimless sketches that don't have points or purpose. Those types, because they are not related to work or study, can help both leave the panic and build your passion back up.
>>2573420
>I have everything lined up for me, a career if I wanted, fame if I wanted, anything.
If you don't mind my asking, what makes you so certain?
>>2573520
This, naturally.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
Take a class, even if you have an MFA. I think if you are around people who want to be that good, and you have deadlines, you will get back into it.
>ic will call this art bad
Might be unpopular to say but not everyone is meant to be an artist.Don't fall into the sunk cost fallacy.
It takes a lot of sacrifice to make it as an artist, there is nothing wrong with saying the cost is to much and just being a hobbyist.
Art cures my depression. After about 1 and a half hours of drawing the depression lifts, I have to do it daily.
>>2573474
Different anon here, thanks for writing this up.
>>2573420
>I'm good at what I do, I have everything lined up for me, a career if I wanted, fame if I wanted, anything
So... you've been painting for 20 years but you don't have a career? Plus, most artists aren't famous at all. Even the most famous artists are basically just known to whatever genre they belong and to other artists.
I heavily recommend mindful meditation. I'm sorry if I sound like a shill but I've heard it does wonders and indeed, I think it's been helping me out too.
>>2573582
ic will call any art bad
hell, I'm sure that eventually they'll start critiquing Loomis himself
>>2574691
We've already critiqued Loomis.
Verdict: Needs more Loomis.
>>2573436
Thats a good idea, is it me or most people who hate interest in creative and artistic stuff are more likely to have depression, or self esteem issues?
>>2573537
this had the opposite effect for me. I used to practice 6+ hours a day but then I went to art school and all my motivation was lost and now I have a really hard time praticing more than 1 hour. But I guess that if I only had one class it'd probably help a bit, but a full schedule? not really, at least in my experience
>>2573420
draw porn, there you will find and discover things you never knew that you needed in your existance.
>>2573436
That was beautiful anon...
>>2573420
You're probably depressed.
>>2575016
>have interest in creative and artistic stuff are more likely to have depression, or self esteem issues?
It's a chicken vs egg question. Art is very personal, it's virtually impossible to separate the person from their art. A critique on someone's artwork can feel like a direct attack on the person. So no wonder a lot of artists feel vulnerable and more likely to have self esteem issues. Yet at the same time, people who already have issues like depression and low self esteem seem to be drawn towards creative outlets.
This is why I absolutely hate it when art teachers try to come off as edgy badasses and rip at their students like it's some dick comparing contest. Like, what is that going to achieve? Art people are already very fragile as it is and the students are going to toughen up at their own pace anyway. STEM fields are hard as fuck too but our professors don't do that, and our students do just fine and the mediocre ones drop out anyways.
Speaking of sensitive and personal, artists shouldn't take critiques so personally. You're not defined by your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It's good to make mistakes. A mistake you make now is a mistake you don't have to make later, so draw fucked up shit now so you don't have to when you're an actual professional. Also, remember that you'll get better, you're changing, and mistakes are just part of that. If more people knew this, I think more people would draw every day and not procrastinate. Procrastinating means you're trying to avoid something because it's painful in a subconscious way.
Often times, mistakes can be funny. Have some humor and learn to laugh at yourself. I like it when people make funny captions about my art.
We should have a "roast my art" thread, in good spirit of course.
It's just a very lonely journey, in my place everyone are doing fucking accounting. I don't have anyone to share/ talk with.
>>2573474
Thank you for writing this, and everyone here too for writing. The feeling of community is comforting and is making me reflect and think. Community is the only therapy I have at the moment and solidarity within us artists really makes me feel not so alone. Makes me feel hopeful.
My story is that I dedicated most of my life to art, switched careers, now trying to get back to it as I once did. I can do a lot--I tried medical school, have multiple scholarships for STEM schools, but turning my back on art, my first talent and love, is my biggest regret. I left all the work, time, and effort I put into it---and I feel damned. A great deal has happened in my life and art was the only way I felt really understood without saying a word. I even tried writing to remedy the latter but it just reminded me how much more beautiful a picture is than a poem. Thank you everyone. I am/was/will be depressed but I will not let it affect me like this any longer.
>>2573420
I'm a bit older than some people here (30) and I don't think it's your art but depression, as some have said.
You've gotten very good advice but at its core what you need to look for (through journalling, therapy and other stuff) is a number of things you believe to be true about yourself. Sometimes what holds you back is something like believing that you're only as good as what you produce. Sometimes it's the deeply held idea that if you do something good you have to keep on getting better, that gives you gradually more and more pressure untill you snap. Sometimes what holds us back is the feeling that nothing is enjoyable anymore, but that's because after one painting there is another, then another, and we never go full "fuck it", since we carry the art task with us absolutely everywhere. There are tons and tons of things that stand in between art and you.
It's very methaphorical, but art for me has always felt like a stream. As long as I am in the current, and I feel some sort of life force being present, it seems to flow naturally. In the middle of depressive episodes, or when melancholia wins, it feels like I am numb, not much can touch me. I feel that there is a lot inside that can't get out, as if suddenly there was a dam. Sometimes, something will spill over and I'll make a quick crappy art thing about that. But finding out what put the dam in place, what stopped the sort of flow of inspiration and desire to draw takes the longest time. Usually it relates to think I believe about myself, work, or the world. Once I break through it, I can slowly start working again.
>>2575478
(I just mentioned the age, forgot to say why. Meant to say it's the third time in my life I have to break through depression again just to finally get to drawing.)
>>2573420
>eling pretty anguished that I fee
well make that your passion?
either this thread is full of women, or OP is samefagging. Seriously, get out.
>>2575122
I was talking about those issues, but not only art related.
Artistic people are gloomier than the norm, it's not only because someone criticized their art
Anyway, I'm for the idea of a thread where Anons could tlk about their doubts and depression.
It would be a nice change, but without making it /r9k/ (even if /r9k/ is mostly normalfags fantacizing about traps)
>>2574703
underappreciated comment
>>2573420
Don't put much pressure on yourself. Make a steady and realistic schedule of exercise, healthy eating and sleeping, go out in the sun a bit more. Find another hobby, like running or cycling. After some time you might be able to draw something small for fun. Browse art you love, something atmospheric and optimistic. Remember why you started drawing, the liberty and the power that your tools give you. Focus on the present and less on the future. Look around you while you're walking down the street, enjoy the mere fact that the sun is shining and that you don't have an explosive diarrhea at the moment.
Good luck.
>>2573460
It looks like one of those paintings that got like 400k on an auction and you just sit there like what the fuck is wrong with people.
>>2575489
>Being this spiteful, up your own ass and truly blessed for never dealing with depression.
Go eat some ice cream anon, it's ok to have feelings and it's ok to share them.
>>2575757
Shit, I found the finished version.
>>2575835
600k!
>>2575835
that's some serial killer art right there
>>2577324
>>2575832
I can tell you're a woman by your prose. Why are there so many of you on this damn board?
