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You are currently reading a thread in /ic/ - Artwork/Critique

Thread replies: 231
Thread images: 120
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just post comics you made and criticize
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i made this shit
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>>2551117
>>2551118
>>2551121
>>2551123
>>2551125
I love it.
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>>2551128
nice, thanks
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Cant compare to much anything, especially not >>2551117
>>2551118
>>2551121
>>2551123
>>2551125

but here's a little something I did a few years ago when I was first even considering drawing back in freshman at community college.
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>>2551134
I don't get it, whats is he supposed to drop?
I like the idea of telling a story without any characters tho
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>>2551135
It's a scantron test
i fucked up emphasizing that that's a test he failed.

he's supposed to drop the class.

but thanks, non-present characters is something I've wanted to explore more.
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>>2551117
>>2551118
>>2551121
>>2551123
>>2551125
Man, this was just awesome, that draw where she sees the world from an ''outside'' inside her brain just explained what i feel when it comes to music.
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speaking of comics, what is your take on ones with interactive elements, such as clickable light switches and the such embedded into frames? Is it possible to implement it well?
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>>2551314
homestuck is probably the most successful webcomic of all time so i dunno you tell me
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>>2551311
oh nice man thanks
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some old work i did for a cyoa some years ago
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it's shit

made it for /las/ during the previous comic challenge

http://imgur.com/a/HOpRQ
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>>2551117
>>2551118
>>2551121
>>2551123
>>2551125

Also, I loved this
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>>2552807
You have potential, but you really need to get away from the Penny Arcade style.
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>>2552835
I've been working on finding my own style. Mostly by daily sketchbook stuff.
I do enjoy the style of Penney arcade though, why do you seem to dislike it?
Or, is it just that you're telling me to do my own style instead of looking like someone else?
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>>2552848
>Or, is it just that you're telling me to do my own style instead of looking like someone else?
yes
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>>2551143
I'm not american so someone else might recognize it better.
you could even do this kind of stuff with stock photos montages, could be nice
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a really improv comic i did yesterday while in my feelings
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>>2553317
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>>2553324
shit also made me realize i know nothing about export settings/file handling.
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>>2553324
>>2553317
Colors are too flat and there is no shading
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>>2553328
tru shit. wasnt really worried about how it looked at the time but now im tempted to go back and flesh out the concept with better comp and coloring.
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>>2553317
>>2553324
>>2553326
these are pretty neat, do you have a blog?
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>>2553343
thanks anon

and yah jabari.tumblr.com
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>>2552525
It's so confusing, no idea what's going on.
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>>2554298

there's also this
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>>2554302

also got this 3 part series in pen, about a happy and sad guy :^)
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>>2554306
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>>2554307

it doesn't really go anywhere
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>>2551125

Cosmic triiiiip, yesssssssss

great stuff m8, I really need to get back on making crowface
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>>2551125

hey this is really nice
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>>2554337
Crowface is dope as fuck
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I enjoy Dark Souls
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http://peaceoneers.tumblr.com/

MUH CAMIC
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http://filofracchide.deviantart.com/art/Genesis-601231687

Only comic I have ever done
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guys do you know any good digital comic author ?
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>>2552525
I almost want to download Kill la Kill only to search for the exact scenes you copied from.
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My latest. The next strip is taking a long time to clean up,but it will find its way online by the end of the week.
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>>2563633
pretty nice, what is it about exactly?
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i hid dogs in the dog
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>>2564221
sorry ,i forgot to resize it
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>>2563640
http://www.jeremeyprickles.com/snowglobe.html

Its an ongoing story that starts here. When I started it,I wasn't planning on posting anything more complicated than rough storyboards,but as time and circumstances dictated I was to be forced to draw in sketchbooks in odd places,I resigned myself to putting more effort and style into the story. Its still plenty rough,and I can only claim occasional glimmerings of worth in the project,but if you can stomach the first 40 pages,you may like what you see. Now its a journey both Reader and Creator are taking together...not even I am sure how it'll turn out.

Come,and See.
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still working on this one
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Heres the cover to a comic I've been working on if that counts
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blog post:
It makes more sense in my head. I should also probably get a good g-pen and ink brush, since I'm using ones from the equivalent of the local dollar store. Didn't draw for about a year, hopefully this will force me to get back into it.
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>>2551125
what's going on why are they sweating at the end i must know more
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>>2564225
>>2567136
I dig both of these.
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It's not very good.
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>>2573573
Here another random page
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been doodling short comics lately
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focusing more on panels than rendering and style
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tried to only use moment-to-moment transitions but these are probably mostly action-to-action
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Gonna be dumping a project I'm putting on hold. Probably gonna redo these pages or make a massive overhaul when I come back to it anyway.
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>>2574957
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>>2574958
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>>2574959
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>>2574960
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>>2574961
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>>2574962
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>>2574963
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>>2574965
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>>2574966
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>>2574967
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>>2574968
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>>2574969
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>>2574970
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>>2574971
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>>2574972
Aaaand, that's all
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>>2574973

Noice!
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>>2575532
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>>2575538
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>>2575544
I mean I've got a comic I was working on. I decided to stop though because my artwork needs work. It's 24 pages and save maybe the first two or three pages it's basic(read: bad) character wireframes and whatnot waiting for detail to be filled in.

but if you guys are interested i'll post it.
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>>2575544
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>>2575571
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>>2575555
oops, forgot to delete the quick reply
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Not my stuff, but I'd just like to point out what a master of composition in comics Yuumei is. Reading this comic feels like watching a movie.

>http://www.yuumeiart.com/fisheye-placebo/#/fisheye-placebo-intro/
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> now that's what i call edgy
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>>2575736
gotta translate this shit if anyone interested.

(Narration 1)
MarchFL 7번 Denim
NewCore 백화점
>Denim, member of MarchFL number 17
>at NewCore department store

(Notebook Title)
오로라 03
>Aurora 03

(Message Bubble 1)
드디어...!
>Finally...!

(Message Bubble 2)
..................
>Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.

(Narration 2)
그녀는 마침내 찾아낸다.
믿기지 않게도.
>She managed to find it.
>She couldn't believe what's happened to her.
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>>2575572
I keked
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>>2564225
I really like this. The monkey on the left looks kind of strange though - you need to work on the foreshortening.
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>>2551123
>>2551125
my music playlist ended right at the record scratch panel. made for a good moment.
awesome work btw
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>>2573573
>>2573721
Pretty coolio friend
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>>2577438
thanks man
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>>2575884
I'm glad that you like it ,and you're right,ima start studying Hogarth for foreshortening
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>>2575429
Thank you
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>>2563633
>comic sans
Please anon
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>>2564225
NINJA CYBERNETIC MONKEYS
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>>2567148
i like this
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>>2579024
Comic sans is the least of his problems. The same guy posted on /ic/ some time before, he's an old bastard who hasn't improved in years and just keeps hammering his disgusting style. And it gets way, way worse when he adds colors or digital shit. Ten year old with gimp kind of worse.
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>>2579026
Actually those monkeys are shaolin
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tried to do it traditionally.added screentones in PS.
story is whatever eh .
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>>2579460
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>>2579462
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>>2579463
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>>2579464
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>>2579465
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>>2579466
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>>2575736
just made another page. it's not consecutive. I'm just adding stories here and there, hoping to stitch all together eventually.

>>2579468
Where do you get screen tones? I'm willing to use screen tones but I have nothing.
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>>2579499
google really.
got some from DA too.Most are not highres but it's ok,they work fine
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>>2564225
fucking sick. I love the coloring.
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>>2567136
The only thing keeping this from looking professional is the word balloons and lettering. Everything else is great.
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>>2579499
Damn man that style and lines are making my dick hard

How do you work with your line weight?
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Alright lads, /co/ is being too nice, I want you to not go easy on me. I've got the thumbnails done. Don't mind the character designs, they're temporary. I do want you to mind the composition and shit like that. What did I fuck up?
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>>2579578
Thanks comrade
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>>2554306
hey its like this guy

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_IbT-oqhZnY
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1/2
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>>2580384

2/2
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>>2580384
>>2580385

prequel
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>>2580136
p-pls respond
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>>2580136
Learn how to panel this is terrible, you arent even trying to lead the readers eye, theres no rhythm
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>>2582757
>you arent even trying to lead the readers eye

Well, I mean, I was trying. Explain why it doesn't work.
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>>2580136
Nigga what the fuck are you doing,this is chaotic as fuck!I cant understand anything what's going on ?Study some sequential art specific art books,Scott McCloud and framed ink.
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>>2582770
It doesn't work because its really hard to do it in your double page comic arrangement.Shit that requires a fucking flow master artist .Dont even try it for next 4-5 years of hard comics artist work
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>>2580136
aight son I'm gonna give you that hookup, gimme a sec here
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>>2582785
I can only hope it will be more understandable once I clean it up and add the dialog.

>>2582793
Y-yeah, no problem with that. Thing is, I'm supposed to do a 12 panel strip comic for my uni portfolio.
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>>2580136

This is gonna seem like shitty, unfun advice, but read more comics and watch more movies. Dissect that shit. you're thinking about this as an illustration, when it's a narrative format. with few exceptions, every panel needs to have clues - strong ones - as to how it relates to previous panels. Otherwise, the reader gets confused. Remember, the reader doesn't know what you do about either the characters, or their movement around an environment. You need to show it to them, not give them the highlight reel of it. The highlight reel only makes sense to you.

wrt composition, etc., you do too many headshots/torso shots, which adds to the unsettling feeling that the characters don't exist in their environment. pull the dang camera out some, man.
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>>2582952
Nice, thank you very, very much.
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>>2577823
thank you!
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1/7
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>>2584384
sorry 'bout the sideways image. Reposting.
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tryna experiment with a style. i suck at coloring but my friend will be handling that
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>>2579191
And you are the "pro" who bitches much but is too important to show what YOU do. I see a lot worse,but I encourage and instruct instead of bully. You miss the point of it all. Try again.

And what's wrong with ComicSans anyway? Not cool enough for this room?
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>>2584423
>>>/tv/
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>>2582941
there is no problem with number of panels,just don't arrange im in double page,do one page at time
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>>2574957
blog?
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>>2554306
>>2554307
>>2554310
I love your messy art
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>>2573851
meloncorn?
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>>2588071
this is very confusing
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>>2588145
http://monotoneink.tumblr.com/
I just started it up, so I'm taking my time with uploading stuff.
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>>2588071
Holy shit, read the sticky eleven times and pray it helps you.
>>
Laugh all you like, i regret nothing.

http://imgur.com/a/CwjiB
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>>2582941
don't make the panel dimensions all uniform; play with the sizes and shapes to inform the narrative

Scott McCloud explains it well in Understanding Comics
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>>2582952
>says its shitty unfung advice
>watch the medium, dissect it

thats actually fun
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>>2588158
I like busy panels.
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>>2551112
I'm sketching out this first page, added some tones to clear it up. My point is to mix some weird "natural" things with the topic, humes guillotine.

Fourth panel male face might be too much, just unnecessary mix up with the dialogue.
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>>2588630
Da phuc
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>>2563647
This is good. Some surreal Achewood shit with very unsettling art.
>>2584423
lol
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>>2586091
love the colors, and the style is very dream-like, do you have a blog?
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>>2584423
>real human bean starts playing
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>>2589404
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>>2589405
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>>2589406
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>>2588935
Anon, there is a difference between busy, well done drawings and impossible to understand drawings. You have to know how to make a good use of values and textures to make the objects in the drawing clear, so we can understand what is happening, and separate character from background from other characters.

Your drawings are just a clusterfuck of stuff, it's impossible to know what is going on because you only use two tones, black and white, and your concept of hatching is "scribble everything everywhere".

Learn how to control lineweight, how to use values, how to use hatching to simulate half tones and textures.
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>>2579556
what is this used for?
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>>2551117
>>2551118
>>2551121
>>2551123
>>2551125
Nicely done, but I really dislike the character designs. That's entirely subjective, though, so keep doing what you're doing, I guess.
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>>2575608
i have some pics of that comic saved without even knowing what they were from. thanks anon for reminding me
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Another abandoned project I dug up
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>>2589519
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>>2589520
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>>2589522
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I make a webcomic called Carrion Girls which I can't link to directly because the system thinks it's spam.
I'm not sure how many pages I should post before it's overkill, so I'll just post the last few. Any feedback based on previous pages or strips would be welcome as well.
I feel like I've been so focused on just getting things done on time lately that I'm completely forgetting to think about improving.
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>>2589527
2/5
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>>2589528
3/5
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>>2589532
4/5
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>>2589534
That looks pretty damn interesting anon, I like it.
Other than the occasionally messy text, there aren't too many problems with your work. There are some panels that look a bit strange perspective wise, but they aren't too bad. Pretty good otherwise.
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>>2589533
And 5/5. Sorry about deleting the original, accidentally posted a WIP.
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>>2589539
Thanks! Yeah, I have a bad habit of not getting the line sketch to work properly before I start rendering, so I have to kludge together the perspective for the background elements.
Not sure what to do about the text - maybe draw it at a larger size and then shrink it?
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>>2551112
this was supposed to be just a collage of dynamic movement and different scenarios, but after editing all together it seems like a strip.
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i made this... because of reasons
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>>2589389
thank you! and yeah, it's jabari.tumblr.com

may not find too much of that kind of stuff just yet lol
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>>2551112
I'm going to work with what I have, but i'm constantly ashamed that I can't seem to rip myself away from the manga wanna-be look

i just wanna write over-exaggerated shit desu
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>>2552525
dapper dog is that u
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>>2588071
holy shit this hurts
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Did the prelude for story, this is still sketches but I'm planning to keep it quite rough.

1/3
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2/3
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3/3
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>>2590075
Really hate the guy with the hats face
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>>2564225
I remember that episode of teen titans
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>>2589482
yea i don't really like them either, that's something i need to work on
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>that one dunning kruger who replies to everybody
>>2551117
I can't deny that you make some pretty shit, but I just can't like your comic. Not into tripping weird monster things.
>>2551386
Cut the 6th panel
>>2563633
For God's sake, draw panels. If >>2588071 is any indication, you need to plan out and pencil the entire page before inking, otherwise it looks fucking ugly when everything is crammed at the bottom because you ran out of space.
>>2564225
Is this like the first page? Useless establishing shots like the the third and fourth panels seem to be pretty common amond amateur first pages.
Also the monkeys jumping in the last panel look pretty bad
>>2572535
I think the pens you're working with look pretty fine. Just try drawing more panels per oversized page, use a bit more hard blacks for values and shit and then you shrink the page.
>>2573573
The transitions are pretty weird, yeah, but otherwise the next page you posted was pretty nice.
>>2573857
Loomis
>>2573859
Try using screentone to show the tea spreading. Othewise it's just a bunch of samey looking panels in a row.
>>2574973
Pretty nice, Malaysia. Ishida Sui has some pretty bad habits, though, and I would advise against following him too much.
>>2589427
saved, thanks
>>2589543
I really don't like the colouring. It makes everything looks uglier. I feel that I would mind the way you drew faces if was in black and white.
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>>2590864
>cont.
>>2589953
I'd be willing to see more of your stuff, actually!
>>2590194
Was that conversation supposed to be full of non-sequiturs?
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>>2590864
Yo, 'tis Malaysia (even though I'm not Malaysia).
You mentioned Ishida Sui - what kind of habits should I avoid concerning his work?
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>>2564684
your webpage can swoon any hipster in the world
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>>2590872
The same problems as Kubo Tite. The kind of lazy overuse of close-ups. I once read Scott Mccloud who quoted from Will Eisner that some artists are a slave to the close-up, and aren't willing to pull the camera back for fear of drawing. :re Ishida, like Tite Kubo, has no problem drawing feet or hands by themselves in one panel, but they are so afraid to pull the camera back and show the action in a wide angle shot.

Like your second last page with "stress" on it. It's a face with a hand across it. I hate how all the :re volumes are either a close up or a 'bust' with a hand thrown in. It feels like he's just painted whatever and made that a volume cover.

He used to draw great fight scenes once, but now the Juuzou fight recently was atrocious. Just... try to have good figure drawing in your comic and you'll be fine, that's what I'm saying.
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>>2590885
A'ight, fight scenes are something I've been trying to improve for a while, so I'll look out for that.
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>>2590868

>>2590194 here. My point is to have two parallel dialogues, but seems like I truncated all bit too much and it becomes confusing. Maybe I need to add replies, that clears it up a bit.
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>>2574965
vertical bubbles like this are in manga because it's easier to write japanese in. The lines for english get too short for this type of thing. I suggest you consider speech bubbles that are more practical for your language.
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>>2590910
oh, and the font also. you seem to be imitating online manga readers instead of choosing what suits your art the best.
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>>2590911
Ah, I see what you mean. Do you have any suggestions for the font I should be using?
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>>2579468
Screentones can be generated in photoshop if you convert a grayscale image into a bitmap. But screentones are best for print - you have full control over the result, wichever printshop you let it out from. If you scan screentones and scale them, they will create unpredictable artefacts like on your picture. If you just want to get the same look on a computer screen then I suggest generating a bigger scale screentone for your comic instead of using screentones that have been scanned and scaled. But, I understand, this sort of patched screentone look is also interesting.
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>>2590912
It really depends on what you are going for. Text could amplify to your scetchy style or add an element of cleanness and rest. It could be gentle or have a rough indie-comic feel. Whatever you think your comic is like - but the hint of character in text should be subtle and not draw too much attention. You could of course leave it like it is, if you want to have a reference to fan-translated manga culture - it might even be quite appropriate. I'm a huge fan of hand-lettering myself, but not every artist is also skilled with letters. Fontsquirrel is a good site for free fonts.
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>>2590935
Alright, I'll try experimenting with the lettering from now on - thanks for the neat advice.
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>>2590864
>I really don't like the colouring. It makes everything looks uglier. I feel that I would mind the way you drew faces if was in black and white.

I don't really know how to respond to that except "that's unfortunate". Could you go into more detail? Is it just the colors I've posted here, or is it the general idea of "realistic" colors on cartoony faces that you're having issues with?
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Been trying to play with the idea of a cyborg in a Zone-esque setting being hunted by the military but I can't keep the quality up if I'd go with this style.
Welp
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>>2590959
Be honest Anon, how much of it is just a direct ripoff of "Blame!"?
Not that that's a bad thing.
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>>2590966
Beyond the general aesthetic of robots, about 45%

I can't help it.
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>>2592313
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>>2592314
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>>2592317
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>>2592318
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>>2590957
I'm not sure, I don't think that I could really articulate it properly. I guess part of it is weird that 'realistic' light is used with characters that have giant round eyes and huge pointy noses, when a good pen line could convey that kind of shape, but I don't think that's quite it. I'm reminded a bit of Brave from Pixar, and I thought that looked fine.
I can't quite talk about colour that well, and I also can't say anything about your own intent. I though the colours were also dull and withdrawn, but I think that's the point. Like the hand shown in page 1 doesn't 'pop' out amongst the clothes, but I don't think bright pinkish skin is what you're going for.
It's very common in a lot of digital paintings, but I don't like your shadows. It's definetely not as bad as most, for sure but sometimes the shadows in most paintings become a "bitter" mess of colour. It's frustrating because I don't know what it's supposed to look like or how it could be better. I guess if you look at most modern anime they have okay shadowing. All I can really say is that it's unappealing to me.
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>>2592737
Thanks a lot for taking the time to write this up, anon. I think I understand where you're coming from with most of it, but I don't suppose you could point me in the direction of some digital paintings that don't make their shadows a "bitter mess of colour"?
I don't know much about anime.
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>>2592860
Idk anon, I pic related is an anime screenshot mixed plus some assorted oddities from your comic. It's most the weird background in the first page, and the rest is just stuff that's not quite my taste.
I don't know many digital paintings that are the perfect example of the opposite of what I'm imagining, you'll just have to find that on your own. Plus, I don't have much say in what's good colour. I think even on /ic/ it's not that hard to find digital art you admire. Ask someone else for crits if you haven't yet.
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Thanks for the free template OP ;)
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>>2572535
Well I finished the first "chapter". Here is the link to it since i dont want to spam 20 images here.
>http://imgur.com/a/aDNqJ
also, related is the cover for the next chapter.
I already noticed im using way to much "splashes" or whatever the correct treminolegy is. Some critique can be nice, since I have no idea what I'm doing.
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>>2595293
this is fucking terrible
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>>2580384
wtf is going on.
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>>2595432
Ouch, but fair enough. Well, what is the most terrible? What should I work on? Please dont just answer "everything".
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>>2595432
No it's not. I wouldn't say its amazing but it's about the same quality as most of the stuff itt
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>>2551125
Are they gona have gross 50 year old yuppie alien sex?
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>>2552807
>get out of the shower
>no

GREAT STORY!
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>>2595293
title =/= art
bad proptions imo cutted leg is longer then the uncutted leg . same goes for the arm it's thin compared to the left arm.
But lovely coloring tho.
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>>2595575
golden comedy!!
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What I "want" to do. This is a page from the graphic novel,over a decade old and made in the 2-d sculpture method of drawing all elements seperately,and cobbling them together in PhotoShop. I tried drawing the pages traditionally,and what I wanted to show was beyond my skill,and working nights with damaged hands didn't help matters. So I decided to "cheat" in this way,so I can concentrate on new elements of the page while cutting corners in making backgrounds and recycling parts for more panels. As you see,it solves most of the many terrible problems of what I am forced to do now,sketchbook drawings minimally cleaned and Comic Sans-ed and cluttered and whatever else. This last strip was done in a car dealership as I waited for 5 hours getting an airbag fixed and refixed. No planning,just vague ideas and images I work into a story that has glimmers of worth at times. I admit this. But it's all I can do in the time I have. I am telling a story,adding to the lore,and someday I won't have a 4 hour commute anymore and 5 hours of sleep a day if I am lucky,and if my cocksucker upstairs let me sleep.

But undoubtedly there will be a thousand other flaws that people will gleefully point out,screaming Read Sticky and Loooomis and whatever. Feel free. I have no choice but to continue. The Stories need to be told.
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>>2597113
If you know you don't care about the kind of critique given here then why post here? Find your audience and share your work with them - being here is self-inflicting damage.
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dunno some feel off about my page
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>>2597691
Learn some anatomy before you weeb
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>>2597714
meh i'dont think anatomy is the biggest isssue
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>>2597691
faces suck
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>>2595293
Thanks for the top kek reaction image famalam.
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