I made this comic for class. I know its pretty bad bc i was running low on time, but im posting it bc i wanna know if it translates well with what i wanted it to say.. so basically
>guy at friends house
>friend in another room says feel at home
>guest had to borrow clothes bc idk(not rlly important bc we only had a page)
>friends clothes are larger
>reaching in his pants with all the room he has
>friends sister walks in thinks hes doing something else
>both are horrified
>sis thinks hes beatin and he knows she thinks hes beating
So critiques on style, or shading, or readability? My teacher said he understood, but he already knew the story line so idk if others would desu.
>>2548112
Reads right to left by the way.
It sort of translates, but it could be more effective.
The first two panels feel kind of wasted. The first, nothing is really told visually, nor is the location established in a way that is made use of later.
The second panel sort of the same. I don't really know why we're looking at underwear when it's pants that are being exchanged, it might be more efficient to show the guest's discarded pants as he's picking up the friend's pants to hint at the size difference.
The sister's voice could also be place in this panel rather than the third, to create suspense for her arrival at an inopportune time, rather than having a panel of no text sandwiched between two panels of full exchanges.
The third panel, it doesn't do much visually. The pants don't look particularly roomy, and it's only context that tells us he's even got his hand down there.
The fourth panel feels a little redundant coming before two more extreme reaction panels. Rather than a closeup of the sister dropping her tray, another option might be to put it in a reverse shot of the boy with his hand in his pants at the moment they notice one another, as a pause before impact to give the dramatic reaction faces a place to launch from, as well as establishing that not only is the sister shocked but the guest understand what she thinks he's doing.
I don't really get the significance of the final panel, if there's a joke I'm missing (and stupid sister, water is not a snack!). An added punchline might be the guest getting soaked all over again, but idk if this is a set script or something.
Overall, I don't really get a sense of movement in terms of where people are/move and what they're doing, if you know what I mean. It makes the panels feel very static, rather than progressions of a movement and story, and creates an over-reliance on text to understand what's happening.
It might help to first think of the scene in motion, and then pick snapshots that best communicate all that's going on in between panels.
>reads right to left
Christ.
I bought the artbook for this little animation made by an independent studio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmkAcGz1BJk and when I got it and found it was right to left the shit made me want to throw up. The art was fun and all but when you throw out a cultural/linguistic convention just to be "different" in a totally superficial way it's just a needless annoyance.
As for your comic, I don't know what the hell's going on.
>>2548162
Not OP, but I've consumed so much manga I instinctively read comics from right to left.
It's gotten to the point that if someone posts an left to right comic, I get confused for a minute because in my mind the panels are out of order and didn't make sense. don't know how to read left to right anymore without feeling weird or fucking up.
If I ever made a comic, I would make it right to left. Not because I'm a weeb or anything but because it's just easier for me to do so.
A lot of people won't get it because they'll read it left to right. Also the drawing of the guy reaching into his pants could show they're baggy better.
>>2548177
>If I ever made a comic, I would make it right to left. Not because I'm a weeb or anything but because it's just easier for me to do so.
No, you're a weeb.
>>2548226
This. The fact that you read so many right-to-left comics for it to become your default way to read is what makes you a weeb. Dare I say, even weebier than someone who does it right-to-left just to be a poser.
