How do you deal with intrusive negative memories?
I had a teacher that bullied me in his classes to the point of giving me flashbacks whenever I try to draw. This forced me to have a much more stiff approach to art since I tend to over-intellectualize my decisions while art making instead of letting things flow, and to feel each mistake much more worse than what they really are.
Mistakes are almost unbearable as I tend to remember what that teacher used to tell me, making any practice or study excruciatingly long and stressing. This is also troublesome as it incites me to keep doing the things that I can do decently instead of experimenting and keep improving as an artist, but whenever I try to do it, I'm unable to draw a mere line before stopping and trying something else.
For those that have gone through this or a similar situation, how do you deal with it? I want to improve but this issue is becoming horribly frustrating.
>>2435769
>letting things flow
I don't know anything about psychological hangups like the one you (think you) have
But I'd say practise doing exactly that. Force yourself to do hundreds of <1 minute drawings in your sketchbook. You won't be able to intellectualize anything if you don't have time.
I believe any artist should be doing something like this daily anyway.
>>2435769
Mindfulness meditation. Works for me. You can start with Jon Kabat Zinn's guided meditations.
>>2435769
Endless gesture studies
Do studies
>>2435769
>I tend to over-intellectualize my decisions while art making instead of letting things flow
Thinking about your art critically is a good thing. What's not good is being afraid, so don't sit around pontificating INSTEAD of drawing.
>to feel each mistake much more worse than what they really are.
That's inexperience -- the more mistakes you make the less you'll be afraid of them. Also, try not to get overly attached, even to work you think is good.
>it incites me to keep doing the things that I can do decently instead of experimenting and keep improving as an artist,
Everyone struggles with pushing their comfort zone. Again, don't get too attached to your drawings; expect your first attempts to be bad. It also helps to have personal projects that you actually WANT to make. Then, when you hit a speed bump then you'll have a tangible reason to study whatever it is you don't know
"Fear and Art" is a decent read on stuff like this. Ultimately the only real remedy is to draw more.
>>2435769
White noise can help a lot with keeping you in the present, and this >>2435791 is actually a good idea. No need to get deep into it though, unless it genuinely interests you. To sum it up, cut the voice in your head short whenever it starts and focus on breathing. Still, check out how to do it properly.
