/ic/ help please. You are the only place where i can openly ask this because i dont know any artists to talk to.
After some depression i got... i dont know how to explain it as other than "negative ability" or "curse" or "negative perk" or whatever.
Procrastination. And its awful.
It never was so bad before.
Im working on a project, but because of being lonely and depressive it started to damage my productivity. Im trying to draw something, spending almost a week for it while its the thing that can be done by 2 days. When i go to bed i feel so ashamed of myself, because i didn't do anything today and promise myself that i will do it tomorrow but it never happens.
When i get up, i feel depressive, everything hurts and i just sitting here with retarded face, slurping coffee and trying to feel better as day goes by. Im working on this project for more than a year already. I've done many things but right now i keep procrastinating.
I never faced anything like that. And the scariest thing for me - to make my client upset because its my friend and he hired me because when i was working with him 3 years ago, he was amazed by how fast i was, he was amazed by my quality and my fresh ideas. But i got so depressive over these 2-3 years and just scared to make him "understand that im not as good as i was".
Did anyone had such a horrible procrastination it almost damaged your career as artist?
This procrastination caused by loneliness and bad life situations and i cant really make it go away because im a freelance artist sitting in small room and nothing changes in my life.
But im not a bad artist, and i dont want to be a bad artist, i have many watchers everywhere and i have job here and there (all because i was doing nothing but drawing every day for years). But nobody knows about how bad my life is.
>>2299373
Tried not to make this look like a shitty blog but it kinda does at the end.
So please just keep the "how to do with procrastination when it went so bad you almost cant draw for days" over everything else.
Nothing will change by itself. You can't just wait to be happy, you won't be.
Sounds like you don't have a lot of self discipline.
Go outside once in a while. There's no magic trick, stop thinking of it as a "curse" that you can't control.
>>2299373
You can sit there trying to justify your mistakes and blame everything on "m-muh sadness and derpeshun :((((" but you only have yourself to blame. No outside matter is going to change your situation.
>>2299373
Your life is only going to get better if you make it better. Nobody is going to come in and save you.
Put on your big boy/girl pants and start doing the fucking work. Nobody is going to do it for you. You are not going to be or feel better by sitting there lamenting how shit everything is.
Identify goals
Work towards goals (you faggot)
This works with drawing, with loneliness, with anything. But you have to do it. Now stop whining, stop letting how terrible everything is stop you, and start working on making it less terrible. Set aside 30 minutes and just use it to look for things you can go and do that others will be doing. A sport, a hike, a book club, whatever. Then, start working on what you've been commissioned to do.
Lastly, don't ever come to this board again. You have more important things to do than waste your life here. Go do them.
Hey, OP. I've been through a lot of nasty places too. But I think you need to look at it all in a different light. All that it means is that you should take a little focus off of life/what's making you sad and focus on yourself instead. Enjoy your art more because you can. Some of the most productive periods I've ever had (not in art, but same concept) were the ones that the rest of life made me feel the worst.
Good luck. Easier times always come
>>2299373
That's Paralysis through Analysis.
Instead of bouncing it around it in your head and thinking of possible scenarioes, just DO it.
The same principle applies to art and going to the gym. Before every gym session I always feel a little voice in the back of my head that tries to talk me out of it but I go anyway and I feel much better for it.
Don't analyse it, just do it.
OP there are 2 version of you: the real you and the wretch
the wretch holds the real you back, beats you up, kicks you while youre down
dont be a little bitch and let the wretch win
OP here.
thank you everybody for answers.
Well...i knew "Just Do It" is the right answer. And there is not really any magic to "defeat" such stuff. But talking to real people even through internet always makes you better.
The other side of medal in being freelance artist - it's easy to loose every social skill you had and turn into a hermit.>>2299403
>I always feel a little voice in the back of my head that tries to talk me out of it but I go anyway and I feel much better for it.
yeah...i have this voice.
It tells me "oh well. let's just eat/watch/play/make tea". I even drink so much tea and coffee through days. I dont really want to drink it but procrastination makes me drink it in non stop.
>>2299382
>Sounds like you don't have a lot of self discipline.
i lost it. I had discipline at my start. I could sit and draw for 8 hours Every_Day. And make exercises in between.
But i was younger back then and had friends.
>>2299414
the thing is - i still think there should be something other than just "DO IT".
human being can't just do it forever. there has to be something else that gives you power.
Some people tell that it's their love or friends or something special like that. I didn't found it. I dont think i have anything beside art.
May be my procrastination is the result of my mind/soul trying to find something else to be happy about
>>2299414
>yeah...i have this voice.
>It tells me "oh well. let's just eat/watch/play/make tea". I even drink so much tea and coffee through days. I dont really want to drink it but procrastination makes me drink it in non stop.
A good way to deal with it is to not engage or entertain the thought and 'label' it. This helps me a lot with dealing with obsessive thoughts.
>e.g
>"Oh no X may or may not happen, what will I do?"
>label it immediately as 'worry' or 'obsession'
>refocus on something else
>repeat if it comes up again
and soon you'll forget what was plaguing you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzh0WmhJ1VU
this is a really,really good video on this.
>>2299421
>to not engage or entertain the thought
Oh my god this is great idea. Thank you so much.
I noticed that it's just so satisfying to think further with procrastination's idea. I answer to it with "yeah...that could be fun" and go further until i abandon what i should do and start doing something else.
I will try to "erase" the idea that procrastination tries to tell me and focus on different thing. Like saying "lalalala can't hear you".
Could work! And thanks for the link.
Imo you can't really beat procrastination but depending on your general condition it gets easier or more difficult.
For example, I'm more likely to procrastinate when I don't get enough sleep. So I try to improve my condition by sleeping enough.
Maybe your problem is just that your current life sucks because you are lonely and sit in your room all day. Maybe if you improve other parts of your life you'll also be motivated again.
But that's all speculation since I don't really know you.
