ITT post fucked up/stupid/hilarious grindr shit
Pic related, just happened to me
>>1357998
Not mine, but still aesthetic af
>somewhere deep inside me want to have grindr, but... i dont want to enter the meat-market
>>1358349
>typing out a paragraph in response to a bot
>>1358349
Moron.
>>1358353
I remember one that was like "hey sexy" and out of boredom about 5 days later I said "hey" and it was like "wow that was quick! ;)" or some shit
>>1358353
Do you even meme, brah?
>>1358357
That was a robot
>>1357998
Been asked for money before after they found out my job... I'm a twink, they should be paying me :(
>>1358408
>I'm a twink, they should be paying me :(
Scumbag
>>1358408
Twinks are scum
Right'o, children. Here are two of my favourite conversations on Grindr.
>>1358469
I think he likes me. This guy was a big Samoan chief looking dude. The other fella was an Asian dude I'm sure.
>>1358470
Pics of this guy. U maybe from NZ or Aus? Samoans abound.
>>1358476
Yeah, I'm from N.Z, bro. I don't think I have any pictures, I might have a screen shot. He was just a rather chubby Samoan man, older than my dad. I'm not particularly turned on by that.
Got this gem the other day
I just got this one sitting in the airport
Guys check the weird fantasies thread if you want to see what madness I invited upon myself the other day.
>>1358522
I've always been told I have great arches... I'll help ya out next time hahah
>>1358408
twinks are gross kill yourself
>>1358408
Enjoy turning 25 and suddenly being undesirable. Guys that like twinks aren't going to bother sticking to the one that's getting older. They'll fuck off and find the next twinky guy; the 18yo with an ass that hasn't been ruined by 6 years of fisting.
My advice: Pick a different gay subclass, or just give up on categorization altogether.
>>1358476
How do you know?
Nobody on this app can take a hint, apparently.
>>1358607
>what's your favorite generation of pokemon
Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Also the ones that just want to "talk" are worse than the ones that just want sex.
OP here. I loved this one. Guys name is 'right now' and he had right now selected as his indicator and his pic St the time was a torso
>obstinate
I wanted to make a joke because he was really being obstinate as well as possibly being abstinent but I thought it'd go over his head.
>>1358612
Yes because telling someone you look like a cute dyke is the best way to getting someone to cyber with you. The fuck is wrong with people?
>>1358613
To be fair, I do have a bit of a lesbian hair cut and a sort of androgynous face... I joke about it all the time. So, I let that slide. Plus I was horny and wanted dick. But he was obstinate so it never worked out
>talking to guy home from school
>both of us clearly very horny
>would send me a ton of shirtless and underwear pics
>considered nudes "too far"
>still really wanted to meet me
I dunno what it is about that, but guys who want to meet but not show their junk kind of sketch me out.
>>1358620
I get that, screen capture is a real thing. I don't like to share junk pics because I don't want them out there forever.
>>1358620
It's a dick, what's gonna sketch you out about it?
Unless he is unhygienic/nasty, that shit is gross.
>>1358625
Which is what did happen to me once.
One time a guy I found out had really tight foreskin, which doesn't really bother me. But I did find out he doesn't really clean it all that much, which was gross.
>>1358607
>what's your favorite generation of Pokémon.
Cmon dude don't be a dick and just block him.
>>1358607
tell him you're a genwunner
>>1358607
>not responding to people
how fucking rude, I respond to people even when I'm not interested, because I have manners and I know that people have feelings like I do.
>>1358400
Or sarcasm
>>1358620
I don't send dick pics. I was talking to this guy over grindr for a while. One time I guess he didn't know it was me, he sent me a fake pic of a white dude and it pissed me off so I told him off then blocked him bc I didn't want to be talking to someone who wasn't man enough to fucking post his own pic.
Well what do you know some random guy msgs me months later on grindr telling me he found my nude pics bc they were circulating on whatsapp in the area.
Now it's either only nudes or only a face pic.
But then I don't really want pics of my dick on my phone either and it's a hassle to keep deleting them after taking them... and I'm always deleting then redownloading grindr as well so...
I don't think it's weird at all that he'd do that.
>>1358638
>having feelings
get a load of this fucking newfag
>>1358831
I understand all of that, and you're right to be cautious. I guess what I meant more was that I dislike when guys do this but clearly still want to meet.
>>1358357
>wow that wuz quick dude!
Fucked up story
>Horny as fuck
>Only open Grindr like once a week, so every time I get on it, I (usually) have a fairly decent amount of messages dating back from the last time I opened it.
>Most of the time I can just pick someone from those messages who's good looking enough to fuck around with.
>Got a message from this twink
>Said he wants me to get over to his place to fuck him, asap.
>Ask him if he still wants me to come over
>He replies like, 20 minutes later
>Tell me to come around a specific time, he'll leave the door open for me, so I can get in and he'll be waiting for me on all fours
>im_okay_with_this.png
>Get to his place, door was indeed left open.
>Get in, walk upstairs, see him sitting there, blindfolded and on his knees
>But his room
>That fucking room
>My Little Pony everywhere
>Had to do my best to not burst out laughing (not hating on you MLP fans, but it was just something I wasn't prepared for seeing)
>Not wasting any time, pull down my pants, lube up his ass, open him up with my fingers a bit before I fuck him
>Dude just starts making fucking horse sounds
>Don't wanna start lauging half way fucking, so I cover his mouth with one hand to shut him up
>Thank god it worked
>I cum and gtfo there
>>1358617
i'd have wanted to meet that dude just so i could shoot him and then the last thing he saw would be my 'lesbian' face, lol
>>1358623
>>1358620
i send dick and torso pics, but never face pics for that very reason
i think not having face pics is more of a deal-breaker than not having snaps of your junk
also, i got no distinctive tatts or piercings
i think a lot of guys fap to my faceless pics and never hook up with anyone, tho
>>1358638
God, you must have an awful lot of free time on your hands and no life...
I bet you're even polite to R.O.B.O.T.S. because their digital arses have feelings, too, right?
I suppose you'd even be nice to Muslim terrorists, just to be polite when they showed you their suicide vests
Shut.Those.Annoying.Fuckers.Down.Or.Block.Their.Asses.
>>1359074
see, you missed your opportunity to be a horse fucker and call him pony boy; i would have HURT that boy good, lol
>>1359074
You're a more tolerant man than I, anon. Or maybe just too horny to care.
I'd have 360'd out of there and blocked him without even thinking. I mean, I fuck other dudes in the ass, but I'm not a degenerate.
>>1357998
Not mine, but funny as fuck.
>>1359086
He should've warned him to bring a riding crop.
>>1359074
I would have laughed and still continued to fuck him. If he was blindfolded and on all fours than he probably would have gotten off on being ridculed while being fucked.
>>1359104
Yeah, anon missed an opportunity to have fun with the situation. But at least he 'subdued' the boy and got his rocks off.
I might have ridden him around the room while spanking his ass, my dick lodged firmly inside, lol.
I'd post mine, I had some hilarious chats with psychos, but I'm banned from Grindr. Turns out fat grandpas and ugly people don't appreciate it much when you make fun of them for being obnoxious, and they'll report you.
Who knew?
>>1358617
How do you have a "lesbian haircut"? There is no "lesbian haircut". Stop generalizing people.
>>1358638
Thank you, I always say not interested instead of block or ignore.
>>1359074
That's hilarious, MLP isn't bad like I thought it would be, but I would've busted out laughing.
>>1359080
Muslims aren't terrorist you ignorant fuck.
>>1359114 You sound like a douche.
>>1359186
Sorry you're fat and/or old, Aids enabler.
>>1359241
Kek. Where have you been?
>>1359201
I fucking hate people like this.
Backtracking on desperation is even more desperate.
>>1359274
>associating extremists with religions
So does KKK means that all christians racist killers?
Also, when Anders Breivik terrorized Norway because he was a right-wing extremist, does that also mean that all christian are right-wing extremists?
Stop being a fucking retarded and don't stereotype/generalize.
Extremists are not associated with any religion, even when they claim that they do what they do for religion, they're a radical minority of a big religion/group/whatever, so generalizing is pointless in that case.
>>1359080
>I suppose you'd even be nice to Muslim terrorists, just to be polite when they showed you their suicide vests.
What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Literally the worst example I've ever fucking read/seen in my whole life.
>God, you must have an awful lot of free time on your hands and no life...
Yes, because typing a response in 15 seconds is "awfully time consuming" and being polite makes me have "no life", god you're an embarrassing person, no wonders us fags get a bad rep.
>I bet you're even polite to R.O.B.O.T.S. because their digital arses have feelings, too, right?
>digital
>feeling
>robot
Wow, you keep being even more embarrassing.
>come back home
>get messaged by an 8/10 guy
>his picture is blurry and he's wearing sunglasses
>his profile talks about being in a frat and playing college lacrosse
>he's almost 30 now
>still lives with his parents but brags he's moving to NYC soon
>i ignore this because he's kinda cute
>he starts talking about shit that turns him on
>he says he gets rock hard at the sight of guys in casts especially bandaged feet
>asks if I've ever been in a cast or would like to wrap my foot up and come over
>block him immediately
I fucking hate this town
>>1359274
Well look at that: a bigoted faggot. You are quite the paradox my friend.
>>1359295
The more shit I read and encounter on grindr the more I think the average homosexual is too depraved to function. Jesus...
This dude expected me to waste my time to wait on him to show up... This is why my area sucks.
>>1359318
26 minutes between messages? How long did you wait?
>>1359318
You went to bed a half hour after giving somewhere your address who's coming over for late night sex? Why even bother if 30 minutes is all it took for you to give up? You're the cunt in the situation.
>>1359318
>wants guy to come over for a late night romp
>falls asleep within 26 minutes of last message
Someone's an annoying fuck in that situation and it wasn't the guy messaging you.
>>1359318
Were you expecting him to teleport in? You fell asleep right after telling him to let you know
>>1359322
Considering it took only 5 to 10 minutes to get to me from where he was, no it should not have taken him that long to get off his ass. If he didn't feel like coming I would have understood had he told me. I'm not going to wait a lifetime for someone to figure out if they want to get off or not.
Someone kik me now im horny As shit
Josexskate
NOW PLEASE
>>1359329
>a lifetime
>>1359329
he was probably washing his dick and ass.
you're a moron.
you should wait at least an hour.
>>1359329
>26 minutes
>lifetime
>>1359316
well go read some shit on tindr and you will understand that the average heterosexual is just as depraved.
>>1359332
Fucking this holy shit! I hate when I make plans with a dude, take a shower, and come back to a bunch of messages ending with "Guess not"
Hey if you want to lick up all the bacteria filled sweat that's built up all day since my morning shower be my fucking guest.
>>1359337
That sucks man. Got burned like that recently. It's bullshit.
And yeah, 20 minutes is too long if you literally live right down the fucking road. Maybe I'm impatient because I'm used to guys dicking around about hooking up. Or I definitely am. /shrug
>>1358644
nah, it's bot.
I always find those, and they always have the same message
>Wow, that was quick
>I've been running and it makes me very horny
And then he send a link to a webcam site or some shit.
>>1359442
KEKS
"Happy mother's day"
Im dying holy shit
This was like a 43 year old dude
>>1358890
If you don't like his dick in person, you're under no obligation to do anything. Just leave (and hope he isn't a super creep).
>>1359519
> I have a clear face pic on my profile.
> Tourist guy send message, his pic wasn't that clear, but he was ok.
> I'm also ok, I guess, pretty average looking.
> We start trying to make a plan for meeting.
> He asked for another pic.
> I sent a face pic. Pretty much like my profile one, different angle, but obviously the same person.
> Guy says: "Maybe we should have started with the pics, sorry dude"
> Blocked him.
Lol this guy.
>>1359558
Gross.
>be me 19
>super horny
>get grindr and get hit up by this one dude
>says hes 23
>meet him and hes smoking
>tries to kiss me with ash breath
>gag.flv
>start fucking
>tell him i like his ass
>he says "I love you."
>silence
>cum and go
Googled him later and found out he was 32 ._.
he would not stop messaging me after so I told him I was moving away
>>1359315
Jessica Christ. That's unfortunately hilarious.
>>1359327
Fucker fell asleep instead of waiting for sex: must be one fucking boring waste of a dick
I used to fuck a couple guys out of town and it used to take me 45 minutes each way and by the time I got there, the one guy would be naked and shoving a dildo up his ass getting ready
B-O-R-I-N-G dude he must be, can't even stay awake for sex
>>1359336
>average heterosexual is just as depraved
face it, guys think with their peckers and when they do, it knocks several points off of their IQs and they tend to forget a lot of their socialization and do things they normally wouldn't do just.to.get.laid.somehow
>>1359343
>And yeah, 20 minutes is too long if you literally live right down the fucking road.
>How dare they wash themselves before pozzing my boipussy, am I right ??
You're fucking trash
>>1359519
bro-tein kek
>>1359695
Desperate old men like this really piss me off.
Always pretending they're superior with this bullshit line of wanting 'intelligent conversation', often and only with a 'nice, young man like yourself'. Pretentious snobs who need culling.
>>1359715
>Pretentious snobs who need culling.
You will be old too one day.
>fast got sick of the vapid cunts on grindr
>take the piss out of cunts for fun, meme them, insult them, start random arguments with known bitches
Damn it, I wanna show up in oneof these threads.
I can't stand the guys on grindr, they're all majorly entitled and have an attitude, people on Adam4Adam are nicer and more genuine (since it's not "cool" or the popular thing anymore, it automatically filters the worst people who flock to Grindr)
>>1359715
>spotted the poz twink who's gonna kill himself at 27 when getting his first ass hair
>>1359736
>>1359729
grindr trolls are fun and kick the stuffings out of the stupid, vicious cunts
you should've saved some of your trolling, then you could post them and share
grinding up the grindr hags for fun and profit
>>1359719
At least I'll have the awareness to not go after the twinks that are clearly not interested.
I don't know why old guys go after twinks anyway. Twinks are gross
>>1359757
He's right tho, you're probably poz.
>>1359763
Every time I go to a sexual health clinic to get tested, I almost never see anyone over the age of 40 there, only younger men and women. There's perhaps 1 older person for every 20 people there. I love when older people call younger guys poz when they don't even get tested and know their status. And let's not forget who tries to pressure people into fucking bareback because a condom makes their dick go soft.
>>1359695
Holy shit this made me cringe. Why does every old faggot think that they're the exception to the rule when someone's not into older?
>>1359736
Why did you greentext that? Jesus fucking Christ do old fucks really not know how to do anything right? Baby boomers I swear...
>>1359769
Well that's why twinks get pozzed, they go for "daddies" who have slept with thousands of men already and are almost certainly diseased. That's why I, as a normal non-twink, only sleep with non-twinks and non-daddies around my age who don't seem like total degenerate poz sluts (anyone who identifies as a twink or daddy or any other fag subculture is 100% poz or will be shortly, guaranteed)
>>1359744
how do you spell relief:
B-L-O-C-K-E-D
the only demonic entity i'd want a hookup partner to play with is my D
(magick, kek, aleister crowley anyone?)
>>1359761
>Twinks are gross
some twinks are super hot and some are super nice and really love the d and some grow up to be really hot slabs of muscle
this is like saying all bears are fat and dirty
>>1359776
the autism is strong with this one, luke
ШAЯИING: AUTISM DETECTED
ЧOU HAVE BEEN ШAЯИED !
>>1359771
Oldposting is really the best /hm/ shitposting meme
>>1358638
>replying to people
>>1359719
I know that.
I'm not saying: old people =/= pretentious snobs.
I'm saying fuckers like that man who messaged him are creepy as fuck.
>>1359736
Yeah, no.
You couldn't be further from the truth.
>>1359742
What was the response?
>>1359787
Seconded.
Completely disregarding a group of people is so close-minded (unless it's sex, obviously).
>>1359801
Yeah I get literally hundreds of messages so as impolite as it may be to not respond, I'd spend all day saying "Sorry no thanks" etc. if I responded. Besides personally I'd rather not get a response at all than someone telling me they're not interested, at least if they don't reply I can comfort myself with the thought that the message may have been lost in cyberspace somewhere or their phone is malfunctioning or they're just slow
I guess ugly people have the luxury of individually declining every message they get, it's just not feasible when you're being spammed nonstop
>>1359804
I'm in the same situation. I feel bad in the beginning for not answering, but as you said, i would be constantly be writing back if i did.
>>1359806
I don't feel bad. People need to not be such whiny cunts, seriously this is a dating app, people are not here to waste time. Sometimes people don't answer me and I move on, period
>>1359442
Wow that's pathetic
>>1359587
Classic Schmosby
>>1359863
jelly uggo detected
>>1359329
you sound like a typical stupid twink
Had some 45 year old guy message me this lol. I'm super cute btw.
>>1359962
>I'm super cute btw.
clearly
>>1359962
You sound insecure as hell.
Ignore and keep it moving.
>>1359993
No need to be insecure with deez nuts
>>1359086
>360'd
Oh anon
>>1359995
that's the joke you dingus
>>1358479
3spooky5me
>>1359315
Okay, this one is understandable.
>trying to make conversation
>actually sounds concerned and decent
>OP shuts him down, he walks away
>deletes the messages, comes back with blue balls
I'd have talked with him more about the Philippines. Tbh I love travel and geography, so my go-to is "Where are you from/Where've you been?" Plus he's a top.
>>1359881
Topkek, I'm trying this
I actually deleted my Grindr after a while. It was 2spooky seeing a guy I knew - I used my picture, but I'm still pretty deep in the closet.Plus the guy was NOT my type. Also random guy messaging me right from the start, "I wanna put tongue deep in ur ass dirty hole mmmmmMMM"
Also are there any apps for real dating? Tired of the hook-up mentality, plus a lot of these guys are OBVIOUSLY lying about their STDs.
>So, are you DDF?
>What's that?
>Drug and disease free. I never really met up but I'm curious about you.
>Um yeah sure
Fuuuuuck that, aside from prep, how do you guys deal with this shit? I feel like I'm playing faggot roulette.
>>1360061
I feel like this is a setup and he's just going to kill you when you get to his place.
Hypothetical question for you, Anon.
If he was suuuuuper hot, and rich, and never turned the tables on you, would you?
>>1360061
That is some disturbed person. Or he's having a laugh at your expense.
>>1359329
>this is the kind of people who complain about /hm/ going downhill
>>1360059
>aside from prep, how do you guys deal with this shit?
like everybody else, and with great originality, I use condoms
>>1360078
I don't trust them, they aren't 100% effective. Plus I'd only want to do oral and it's hard to do that with a condom.
>>1360068
Hey now, shit eating is totally acceptable if the top is a 9 or 10 and you are less than a 6.5
>>1360079
What's hard about doing oral with a condom on? Stop talking shit nigga.
Only downside of oral with a condom that it tastes gross.
>>1360082
>implying 10/10 guys are into that
I draw the line at farting desu
>>1360087
>I'm young and prissy
You'll grow up. Probably won't be a 10 anymore cause all you have is youth. Enjoy wasting it.
>>1360090
Well the reality isn't all that sexy, but if even the idea doesn't pique your interest you must not be that horny. I'm not really that interested in what mildly horny guys have to say. Milds don't do it for me.
>>1360092
Ok then?
>>1360094
Ok captain bland.
>>1360095
As you were Cap'n Turd.
>>1360091
Tbh the only thing that would turn me on about that scenario is that it's degradation or humiliation. It puts a sub in their place, and makes him hate his life, but he takes it anyway because it's his place.
But when guys like in the pic start talking, it makes it sound like they actually like the taste of shit. Like, maybe if I got pass-out drunk and was out of my mind horny, I might consider doing this with just a small amount, or I'd agree to watersports. But there's guys who are all, "Omg fill my belly with poo." Tis weird.
>>1360096
kek
>>1360091
>Only young guys can be 10/10
You sound like a bitter and vindictive old man.
>>1360104
Maybe I like masochists who are self-aware masochists?
>shitposting
>>1360106
No one is loving it as they eat shit. It's mostly gagging and retching. But someone who's psyched up to do? It is the only chance of it every happening. And getting to do it? To shit in someones mouth? Really, you would pass that up? You are either naive or incredibly jaded. I bet on naive. I won.
>>1358601
Gay advice looks like something out of a mmorpg discussion.
>>1359348
>be me
>get message
>10/10 picture
>hesitate for a few hours
>never come across the bot before
>see hey sexy
>respond to it
>"hey that didn't take long!"
>think it was sarcasm
>"haha yeah, only a few hours late! Sorry."
>"I've been running and it makes me horny
>I'm relatively conservative and just wanted an emotional connection first but think "maybe I'll make an exception
>"Shame I'm not there"
>Enters line about sexcam
>I go "Oh you're a bot. Test."
>bot text
>"I guess I'm going to die alone then"
>Start venting to a bot
>mfw
Can you believe there are actually people in 2016 who use online hookup apps?
http://www.cantechletter.com/2016/04/gonorrhea-syphilis-outbreak-alberta-blamed-social-media/
>Alberta Health Services has revealed that sexually transmitted infections (STIs) have reached “outbreak levels” in the province, and officials say that social media is to blame.
>A reported 3,400 cases of gonorrhea were identified in 2015, an 80 per cent rise from 2014, along with 350 cases of infectious syphilis, twice the number from the previous year, both being attributed to greater use of social media “hook-up” services such as Tinder and Grindr which allow for easy and relatively anonymous encounters between individuals.
>“There are several factors but this is probably the single most or highest reason why we are getting the increased rates -the use of social media,” says Dr. Karen Grimsrud, chief medical officer of health with the province.
>Most of the new infections occurred in young men and women, with almost half of the female cases of syphilis being found in indigenous women and the majority (86 per cent) of male cases of syphilis involving men who have sex with men.
>Dr. Gerry Predy of Alberta Health Services plans to increase public awareness campaigns on STIs and the dangers of anonymous hook-ups and to continue encouraging STI testing and condom use. “STI rates in the province are the highest they have been in decades and show no signs of levelling off,” Predy said.
>>1360170
>According to the CBC, other provinces including B.C., Saskatchewan, Manitoba and Newfoundland have also seen new rises in syphilis and gonorrhea rates.
>“When people don’t know their sexual partner’s identity, that makes it difficult for public health to do the tracing for them and their contact, as far as setting up testing and treatment,” says Grimsrud. STI testing in Alberta and other provinces is free and anonymous.
>And while health officials state that most STIs can be treated and cured, reports show that drug-resistant strains of gonorrhea are spreading across the country. In Ontario, new treatment guidelines have been instituted to deal with the STI which now recommend that people testing positive for gonorrhea be treated with a combination of an injectable antibiotic as well as a second antibiotic in pill form. Dr. Vanessa Allen of the provincial public health agency states that the new procedure is necessary to try to slow gonorrhea’s progress through the whole gamut of available antibiotics.
>>1357998
Probably wouldn't happen to you if you weren't a boring sack of shit.
I laugh my fucking ass off at loser ass guys who sit on that app all day, just to tell everyone they're horny, and wait til some desperate ass finally asks to hangout cause you're definitely too dumb or lazy to engage in that part of the convo yourself.
RIP ops sex life
>>1360110
Subclass isn't a term exclusive to MMORPGs, you fucking casual
>>1360170
>and officials say that social media is to blame.
Right... not a lack of sexual education by the government. Of course they're gonna blame social media.
There are gay people who still think condoms are only to prevent pregnancy.
>>1360061
That was me :(
So sorry :(
:(((((((((((
>>1359514
The easiest one is to ask if the guy is a top or a bottom. Whatever his reply is, you're also 'unfortunately' the same thing. :^) It's a nice way to avoid certain guys. Has worked for me every time.
>>1360218
What if they're verse masterrace?
>>1360216
My god, you're so self-centered you can't even refrain from posting in a thread when you obviously have nothing to contribute and you do it to pretend something was actually about you
>>1360222
>you can't even refrain from posting
lmao source?
>>1360219
Never chatted with a true versa masterrace, but if said versa wasn't my type, I would simply say I'm only interested in 100% tops/bottoms.
>>1360218
I like to tell guys they're "too masc" for me. It's usually true, and they rarely get upset about being called masc
>>1360224
Wtf
You're even answering instantly
Are you some kind of tentacle god who's ego is forever stuck in 4chan
>>1360225
What if they can be 100% top or bottom? Being verse doesn't mean you MUST do both things at once or all the time
>>1360227
>triggered because he was asked to provide a source for his untenable accusations
Aidslord.
>>1360230
I'm sorry, what do you needed source for ?
>>1360231
>what do you needed
In English, please. I don't speak HIV.
>>1360232
I'm pretty sure you can get it even if you don't speak it, you're a smart boy
>>1360229
Sorry, not into versatile guys. Bye.
>>1360233
>he's speaking from experience
Sorry you have it.
Also, lmao
>>1360226
Will try this.
>>1360235
For such an unusually long reply time, I expected something better, hon :(
>>1360246
>I expected something better
Now you know how your sex partners feel.
this thread is a fucking mess
I hate you faggots sometimes
>>1360274
The quality of your bantz is plummeting, it's embarrassing to watch
>>1360287
This.
I'm so bored of seeing his narcissism displayed in every single thread.
>>1360287
>The quality of your bantz is plummeting
Much like your T-cells count.
>>1359863
Yup, that's exactly what they sound like.
Admittedly, I'm rarely on and only get like 1 message a day. There's also not really many new faces anyway, so that's to expect.
But whining "I'm getting so many messages, I can't reply" must be really 1st-world-problems.
>>1360304
Another jelly uggo detected, geeze 1 message a day? You poor thing
>>1360299
Fourth AIDS-themed "i'm using your phrase against you, i'm so witty and good with words" comeback, holy shit you actually have no imagination. You could have at least added a "lmao, i'm so random and intelligent i'm laughing at you while being only half-involved (yet i spend my whole day crushing my F5 key)".
>>1360323
Just take one for the team and fuck him, geeze
>>1360321
>stop pointing out I'm poz, it's mean, waaaaaah, waaaaah
>>1360321
>so mad that he types out a paragraph of shit hoping for the last word
Baby boomers everyone. Sadly they think they matter.
>>1360293
So fuck off to another website
>>1360394
Nah.
I'll do what I want.
He thrives on trolling.
Which is a bit pathetic for a porn board, toplel.
>>1360402
Complaining about someone trolling on 4chan is a bit more pathetic than someone trolling in a porn board. topfuckingkek you dumb cunt.
>>1358607
Ughhh every time a gay dude finds out I'm nerdy he brings up fucking "what's your favorite pokemon" bullshit
>>1359329
ur a fucktard
>>1359174
STFU yes there is
>>1360491
Maybe clean up your background? Gives a messy impression..
>>1359442
> happy mothers day
got me
>>1360491
Lower your standards
>>1360491
Are you 30+? That's what gay death refers to.
>>1360506
Fags are picky unless you are hot and your pancake nipples aren't hot, pasty twig homo. You shouldn't post selfies here if you aren't handsome.
>>1360506
You'll be fine.
>>1360509
Pancake nipples..? Wat. I have never heard any complaints about my nipples before.
>>1360506
Your whole body is kind of saggy.
No, you should have a 280 pound white guy your age fuck you. Give me a call.
>>1360509
oh, i am laughing too hard
Ok. Wow. So TIL that not even 4chan finds my body desirable. Thanks guys, you've answered my questions on why everyone flakes out.
Stay classy you gross fucking faggots.
>>1360526
Stop trying to get approval from 4chan you shitty homo. You sound insecure.
People here are purposely severe.
>>1360491
dude, you seem sincere so i'll try to help you.
1. clean your fucking room or take a picture somewhere else.
2. fluff your dick or try a more flattering angle.
3. maybe show off your ass more since your cock is not going to be the star unless it gets bigger.
4. you are very skinny and white and your body is quite feminine so maybe play up the femininity by shaving more and wearing something cute. Or go the young jock route and try some masculine accessories like literally a jock and running shoes.
5. you don't always have to show everything all at once. sometimes leaving things to the imagination is hotter. your current photos seem like you're desperate and uncaring about your surroundings which may mean you are uncaring about yourself which may mean low self-esteem.
think of yourself as a present you are giving to someone: you want to look like some thought has gone into the presentation, not like you are just giving them something you found on the floor in a junk-heap.
think about who you are trying to attract and show aspects of yourself that reflect that.
also -------> /soc/
http://www.yourtango.com/2014222560/how-send-sexy-selfies-worth-bragging-about
>>1360529
Thanks for the tips. That's not a normal image I use for stuff, but it's the only one I have that had my full body visible.
Also, /soc/ is a hugbox and you can't trust anything they say over there. Have you seen the tranny threads?
>>1360509
lol calm down wtf
>>1360534
desu you'd probably have more luck if you put on a wig and pretended to be trans. you're body and body-language is too feminine to be attractive.
>>1360491
Well, it's kind of hard to get laid in Auschwitz
All this talk about gay death? In this new age of the Daddy? It's just not realistic that you keep so removed from reality /hm/
If you're a bottom you're kinda fucked tho (not literally, obviously)
>>1360672
But most people like their daddies with hair and meat on them. Not Daddies that look like the world's oldest twink.
>>1359550
Nigga u ugly
>people actually read this
>>1359695
I actually deleted my Grindr profile and scruff last night.
Me, 26, euro, 7.5", 6'2", athletic, clean cut, great skin -people always comment on my skin...weird... Anyway I'm probably an 8/10 at best.
Anyway I'm only after 40+ Yr old daddy guys. Basically want hung, stocky or muscle daddy bears. Explicitly state this on profile, don't bother if not. Get frustrated with all the retards contacting me. Remove face from profile pic. Less retards. Remove photo, change to picture of beach scenery. Still get retards. Go blank, no photo but this leaves the most retarded desperate ones who contact blank profiles. Openly mock them as a group on my profile bio for contacting someone without a picture who says they're not interested. Draw their attention to the fact that I have it in my profile yet they contact me anyway. Most of them don't even read it and just shotgun everyone in hope of a reply, but Some fucking idiots read it and think they're the exception for some reason and they're the ones who get pissy when you tell them otherwise. Unfortunately there are max amounts of blocks you can do on scruff.
Basically just deleted them. Quality was poor apart from guys travelling anyway. Might just try find a BF the old fashioned way and not bother with casual sex
>>1360646
This
You're standing like a bowlegged japanese anime school girl
>>1360680
Why do you only like daddies? I'm just curious. I like daddies too, but I also like jocks, otters, and slim guys.
Visited a country town for a friend's wedding and got this
>>1359519
Brotein.
That's my learnt word for the day
>>1360692
U keen for a blowjob though?
>>1359442
HAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT
> sat studying
> intermittently check phone
> 90% of conversations with Americans (Growlr)
> 60% of conversations results in offer of flying me there
> 50% of those offers are in less than 24 hours of talking
> tfw so many Americans don't know what it's like outside the US
> tfw so many Americans are insular
Why is this the case? I'm not trying to be hateful of Americans but this seems to be a trend/pattern.
>>1360321
when you contracted the disease, was fellatio involved? what does HIV taste like? please respond thnx
>>1360491
>pasty gross skelly with rickets
>>1360439
So don't say you're nerdy. I play a shit ton of games and smoke weed consistently and mention neither of them. I don't understand what your hobbies have to do with your sex life.
>>1360677
Do you know how landwhales use MySpace angles to look prettier than they are? Well, there are also fuckshit angles that make you look worse than you are.
>>1360702
It tasted like semen
>>1360771
"Only if you let me have a taste of your mum's pussy first sweetie xox"
Are we playing 'dubs decide'?
/pol/ hit me up on grindr
>>1360793
What the actual fuck am I reading?
This is like something straight out of lolhitler's mouth.
"an open relationship"
>>1360793
I sent you these in confidence u dickhole
>>1360829
Personally, I don't feel like open relationships are relationships at all. It's just the modern way of validating friends with benefits and abolishing the presumed immorality of it all by trying to justify it and make it morally acceptable.
>>1360841
I really enjoyed your post, it was full of interesting thoughts with complex major implications. I'm extremely glad I visited your blog and I plan on doing it again haha, have a nice day :)
>>1360843
Listen, buddy. You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me, and from the obliviousness I’ve witnessed here I doubt you’d know your ass from a hole in the ground. I’m not your Felicia Day, I’m not your Ramona Flowers. I’m not your manic pixie dream girl. I’m an actual, real live human being and you’ve had a single five minute conversation with me.
You can take your little nerd-girl fantasies you’ve so thoughtfully projected on me and shove them right back into the box of tired, worn out Hollywood tropes you pulled them out of.
And let me tell you another thing, now that we’ve established that you’re talking to a stranger, that I may be less friendly outside of my workplace, and that Kitty’s got claws. I don’t need to hold your fucking hand and walk you through the process of rejection. Most people, thinking logically, would assume being ignored represented a lack of interest, but you apparently can’t take a hint unless some poor girl has deleted her entire Facebook account to get away from you. You know why I hadn’t replied to you? Because I just moved, and I don’t have internet in my house yet. But seeing the flood of shit you sent my way, I’m glad. Because being told by, I stress again, an /absolute stranger/ that they would worship me is easily the creepiest thing to hit my new year so far.
And one last thing to leave you with bucko. If you have to tell somebody you’re a nice guy, you’re doing it wrong. You’re not actually a nice guy, you’re a pushy fucking creep living in a fantasy world where girls fit whatever cute little mould you decide they should.
>>1360846
I'm not your buddy, pal
>>1360846
lol
>>1360841
>Personally, I don't feel like open relationships are relationships at all. It's just the modern way of validating friends with benefits and abolishing the presumed immorality of it all by trying to justify it and make it morally acceptable.
I disagree. There are situations where an open relationship works. A marriage where one partner turns out to be gay/lesbian and both partners agree that partner can have sex elsewhere. Or a situation where one partner (straight or gay) is unable to have sex due to illness or age and allows the other partner to have sex outside their relationship.
The problem I think is that you view this as immoral and it isn't, at least not when two people make a conscious decision to do it. If they don't and one partner goes outside the relationship then yeah... immoral.
>>1360771
What a keeper
>>1360776
DON'T POZ ME, BRO
>>1360654
looooool, im ded
>>1359315
so did you boost your android security?
>>1361264
>im ded
Our long national nightmare is finally over.
>>1361309
TOPLEL.
