![img_0191[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/lIDrlxc.jpg "img_0191[1].jpg")
Quick! Claim your historical husbando before someone else gets him.
> Exiled at the age of fifteen after fighting alongside his brother Olaf II of Norway.
> Still a teenager, becomes one of Yaroslav the Wise's captains while on his way to Constantinople.
> Joins the Varangian Guard and quickly rises to become “leader over all the Varangians”.
> Fights Saracens, Normans and Pechenegs in eighteen major battles and innumerable skirmishes over ten years.
> Steals plunder from, imprisoned by and later blinds Roman emperor, Manuel V.
> Returns home with unimaginable wealth (and a banging wife) to regain his rightful place as king of Norway.
>Kicks the shit out of the Danes for around fifteen years.
[spoiler]> Wins seven feet of English soil.[/spoiler]
Truly the last great viking.
>born into an ancient patrician family
>with no money, not even owning a slave
>10/10 beautiful man
>comes into fortune, immediately distinguishes himself with genius despite having no experience with war or law
>BTFO Jugurtha, BTFO Italians, BTFO Mithridates, BTFO Marius, BTFO Mithridates again, BTFO Marius again
>only man of his time with the balls to do what needed to be done
>>832300
>blinded a Greek emperor
Good lad
I don't have to say a single thing.
>Strong
Check
>Brave
Check
>Strategic
Check
>Powerful
Check
>Benevolent
Check
>Handsome
Check
>Ladies Man
Check
>Not a barbarian
Check
>Awesome
Check
>Genius
Check
>Warrior
Check
>King
Check
>Battle-hardened
Check
10/10 would like for his manly arms to wrap around me
(I am a straight male btw)
>Becomes head of a doomed empire
>shows skill as a ruler
>Ottomans show up
>they basically say "Surrender, and you can retire in Morea, and be rich as fuck"
>tells them to go fuck themselves
>keeps fighting even when all seems lost
>sacrifices himself to save the civilians of Constantinople
>Greek scholars, who he saved went to Italy and helped start the Renaissance
>>834307
That romanticised version certainly sounds better than the real story where he tried to escape dressed as a peasant and was cut down.
>>834326
>real story
>not Ottomyn propaganda
Wow, you /his/ocialists have such a hatred for the ERE it's unfathomable.
Is it jealousy because it wasn't the Roman Empire you envisioned? Or are you all Prussianfags, who believe in the "H"R"E"?
>>834341
>it wasn't the Roman Empire you envisioned
It wasn't the Roman Empire at all, m80.
>>834353
This meme again.
Tell me
Oh please tell me
How Charlemange is the true Roman Emperor
Oh please tell me
How the HRE was an Empire
Was Holy
and was Roman
PLEASE TELL ME
>>834307
>sacrifices himself to save the civilians of Constantinople
You wot? City was fucking sacked.
If anything, I think the fact that he threw away his Identifying garments was either
1) He didn't want his corpse molested
2) He didn't want to be captured.
3) He tried to sneak off.
Either way I agree with >>834326 it sounds pretty romantic.
need I say more?
>>834353
>>834385
Why would he escape with rags if he could've lived in peace with Mehmed's offer?
He most likely didn't want his body to be molested, I mean, having your head on a pike is very humiliating.
Going to have to say Aristotle.
One based individual.
>>832300
nah
>>834397
Wishful thinking is the path to hell, he was holding out hope that his spiritual father the Pope would save him. When he saw that that wasn't going to happen, he tried to sneak out.
CLAIMED
>>835004
FUCK YOU.
>>834426
>I cannot count teeth, ergo madness, ergo genius
t. Aristotle
In all seriousness though, hands off mai saintly husbando
>>832300
>highly intelligent and cultured scholar
>polyglot
>patron of the arts and sciences
>respectable and distinguished beard
>dominant af
Richard I as specifically played by Anthony Hopkins
even tho he didnt brush his teeth a single time
>>835004
>A strong hand will never wrench you from your daily walk along the plaza, grabbing you firmly as it may a chicken's corpse.
>Said hand will never throw you down into damp bedding, where the acrid scent of man and earthy scent of old straw mix and wash over your senses.
>The straw will never titillate your skin as the object of your anticipation stands over you, nearly blotting out the sun.
>He will never stroke you slyly and whisper "I think it is this that has been claimed."
why live?
>>835004
>leaves out Diogenes' response to Alexander
RUINED IT
Grinada Mihail!
>>835852
>choosing mihai over based cuza
Its like you aren't even trying anon
>>835004
Diogenes was a fucking disgusting man and is celebrated by chaotic neutral dipshits.
I want to marry this son of a Vendean
>>834695
No, since he and his predecessor went to get support from the Pope and from other Kingdoms, but everyone had something going for themselves, either a crisis or a war.
The Pope at the time had actually called for a crusade when the city fell, but not enough men were mustered.
He knew it was a lost cause, and the man would rather die in a blaze of glory, rather than having his body destroyed and his head on a stick overviewing Constantinople.
>>835074
your meme is getting tiresome, argiemonkey
>>835852
Meme-tier cuck monarch
>>837926
Plato was a fan fiction writing, self-congratulatory wanker who was repeatedly dismantled by a fucking hobo who jerked off in public.
Also
>using D&D alignments unironically in an argument
Tip top autism
>>838093
It's not Plato, it's François Athanase Charette de La Contrie, you republican.
>>834393
Why is that photo altered?
>>832300
>tfw you will never triumphantly march through the fascist capital with him
Emperor Julian 'the Apostate', truly the last of the Romans.
>enlightened despot, versed in classical philosophy
>rejected the Christcuck religion, tried to revitalize paganism
>attempted to reform the Empire: cut down the corrupt bureaucracy, tried to make the cities of the Empire rely less on the central government and make them self-sufficient as they had been during the Pax Romana
Based/10, would go to battle against the Sassanids with
>>836589
Chaotic neutral is the best alignment.
OTTOMAN BITCHES DON'T KNOW 'BOUT MY ADVANCED TAXATION AND MILITARY REFORM.
AND IF THEY DO, THEY'RE PROBABLY DEAD.
power bottom
>charming, bold, and capable
>the bitches love him
>foes admire and respect him
>BFTO of the Duke of Bourbon with his final words.
>>832300
Hes a cute, A CUTE!
The prophet Muhammad pbuh
Pic related
>still unclaimed
We would go on such sick adventures.
Choosing Antinous for some epic boipussy. Second up would be Elagabalus the transexual emperor, because I'm gay and depraved.
>>834326
>t. Mehmet
>>842213
nah really, he got romanticised a lot because byzzieboos loves the "last emperor fighting to the last blood no surrender ;_; omg so sad "narrative, when byzantium itself got willingly cucked into becoming ottoman vassals during bayezid
the only one I could ever need
>>834365
He never said anything about the HRE though, stay buttblasted yiannos
>>834695
No, his father and brother both actively attempted to mend the schism during their reign but nothing came about.
Sure Constantine tried to call upon the aid of the West numerous times before the siege, he wasn't ignorant to realize that the Pope would save him and his lands.
Enver Hoxha, leader of Albania from 1944 to 1985.
>Caring
When he thought that his people would be invaded by imperialist nations, he built 700,000 bunkers for his people.
>Independent
Calls every other communist state revisionist and makes Albania a self-sustaining powerhouse.
>Intelligent
Created his own anti-revisionist Marxist-Leninist tendency, called Hoxhaism.
<3
>>846202
literally retarded.
>>846212
What do you have against my man?
Louis could get it, helps that I'm a sucker for artsy types.
>>846212
Instead of building actual infrastructure that'd support his nation, he went full retard and built bunkers that are useless when your enemies are capable of shelling, carpet bombs, and nuclear weapons
>>846270
He had the right ideas in mind, just not the right technology. At least he wanted the slightest bit of protection for his people.
>>846260
could get what exactly
>>846305
Me. He could bang me.
