This man did literally nothing wrong.
>>825874
>le black magic rape man
Literally everything he did was wrong.
Wasn't he responsible for Russia joining WWI?
>>822222
>>825874
So if some voodoo guy was sniffing around your wife, you wouldn't knock him down?
Inb4 retards who genuinely believe he fucked the Empress
RA RA RASPUTIN
LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN
>>826264
THERE WAS A CAT THAT REALLY WAS GONE
>>826278
RA RA RASPUTIN
RUSSIA'S GREATEST LOVE MACHINE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yTVWXYctoY
>>826294
IT WAS A SHAME HOW HE CARRIED ON
>>826234
> The great cuckning: Russian edition
>>825874
>be drunk 24/7
>cheat on wife
>grope princesses
>rape noblewomen
>pretend to be magicman and by chance the prince gets better
>not dying fast, so now people really think he is a magicman
>probably didn't even shower
>>826846
>you will never drunkenly call Anastasia over to sit on your lap
How big was his dick?
>>825874
Jesus Christ came to Earth and spoke only the truth, he preached charity and goodwill, mercy and peace, he healed the sick and performed miracles of all kinds everywhere he went.
And after 70 weeks of that, he was executed by the State.
Why on Earth should Rasputin or anyone else ever expect to fare any better than that?
>>826846
>>pretend to be magicman and by chance the prince gets better
This is flat out wrong.
He absolutely saved the Prince's life, on several occasions, simply by telling his parents to throw out their doctors.
If you knew what the doctors wanted to do, you wouldn't think Rasputin was the witch doctor, you'd think he was Para-fucking-Celsus compared to Russian Imperial Medicine at the turn of the 20th century.
>>827420
Bro, if I shoved my own dick up my ass it would be better advice than 1900 Russian medicine. That doesn't make magicman capable.
>>827790
Lol
>Cool beard
>Massive dong
>Dope magic powers
>IRL wizard
>Spooky eyes
>Annoyed Russian govt
>Saruman and Snape played him in separate movies
>Boney M made a banging tune about him
What's not to love?
>>826234
>So if some voodoo guy was sniffing around your wife, you wouldn't knock him down?
I'm pretty sure ol' Felix was into wifesharing.
>>827358
I heard 12, 9 isn't big enough to put in a jar
>>826853
How do I get magic powers like him? It's said he could stare a women into bed with his magic eyes!
He was night immortal though. He was poisoned, shot, and stabbed and then dumped in a river in the winter, and when the coroner reported cause of death when they found him, it was apparently the hypothermia that actually killed him.
>>829286
>believing this
At least read the wiki on him, anon.
>>829273
>How do I get magic powers like him? It's said he could stare a women into bed with his magic eyes!
Get a giant dick, be drunk and rape everything. Claim it is magic.
>>829297
I did, the wiki literally says what I just paraphrased.
>>829305
Shit Russia back then was a pretty cool place... besides the wars, famines, civil unrest constant shortages and brutal state oppression. I mean if you were a magic man you could rape your way to the Tzar's palace and cuck his wife and children
>>829286
>poisoned with KCN
He was one of the few rarities in that he produced no stomach-acid. The KCN could not therefore be converted to HCN and thusly kill him.
>shot
it takes a while to bleed out when you get shot in a non-vital area
>stabbed
idem
>dumped in a river and hypothermia kill you
If you lose 5 pints of blood and then get dumped in a russian river. you die of hypothermia rather of drowning
>>827398
Jesus didn't fuck all the Roman nobility.
>>825874
Is it true that he had a freakishly large penis?
Is it also true that he deflowered all of the Tsar's daughter at his wife's request?
>>829286
This, along with the claim that he fucked the Queen, is just bullshit mythology created by Yusupov and his friends to make him look downright Satanic. You people literally get baited by 100 year old memes.
>tfw you'll never pound royal qts with your massive dick
>>830907
>Is it time for lessons again?
