Why is Joan so perfect /his/?
Because they cant even agree on her eye colour or hair so she fits every fetish.
Some guys like cheerleaders.
Because she's french.
Cheerleaders were just as hot 600 years ago.
The perfect Joan of Arc
>qt underage French religious zealot
whats not to like
>>555860
>One of the most famous saints
>Important military leader in one of the most significant wars of the Middle Ages
>No known portraits
Seriously? How?
>>556085
>>556153
she was a witch, harry
>>556153
Maybe because she was burned before they could paint her
>>556181
Is some sort of ancient egyptian god card?
>>555860
>I am a 17th Century gentlemen
>I see a beautiful maiden about to be burned at the stake
>I mount my noble steed and put on my feathered cap of gentlemen
>I gallop towards the stake with a cry of "M'LADY SHALL I RESCUE THEE FROM THIS FOUL PREDICAMENT?"
>She thanks me profusely and asks me what my name is
>I stutter "The Gentlemen of Great Renoun"
>>556153
There were portraits, but all the portraits that were confirmed legit were destroyed before they could be copied.
lrn2hstry
>>556153
There were many portraits but none survived strangely.
>>556196
She wasn't executed for witchcraft. Read a book, or even a wikipedia article.
>>556324
Perfidosis Albionus
The Egyptian god of English trickery
>>555860
>Why is Joan so perfect /his/?
She's really hot.
Do you think she got fucked by French soldiers during camp?
>>558778
I'm sure of it. I just know 4-5 french soldiers at a time were invited back to her tent to go family style on that heavenly piece of ass.
>>558778
>>558821
Joan didn't have sex with French soldiers and was never raped by English or Burgundian soldiers. Noble ladies "checked" her multiple times during her trials to make sure she was a virgin, and when she learned she was going to be burned she made this exclamation,
>"Alas! that my body, clean and whole, never been corrupted, today must be consumed and burnt to ashes!"
During her captivity she complained to a Priest that her guards mistreated her and that she feared they might try to do her violence or rape her, but she never said anything about them actually doing it.
>>558940
>surrounded by thousands of testosterone-fuelled knights and warriors
>never got fucked
I call bullshit.
>>558958
You do realize that she was a religious fanatic who was pretty much obsessed with virginity, right? Most of her followers were also very religious, and many already considered her to be a Saint. Not just the French soldiers either. After her execution, a couple of English soldiers even confessed that they were afraid they'd killed a Saint. Some knights and squires who knew her said she was beautiful, but they were embarrassed saying so because of her Holiness.
>>559007
Who cares?
That tuna ain't gonna pound itself.
>>558958
The fact that you are a rapist does not mean that everyone is.
>>558958
Stop self-inserting yourself into history.
>>559036
>being gay
>>559046
At least I am not a rapist.
>>559052
At least I am not a sodomite.
>>559055
Dont worry, I can change that.
Girl in the painting looks a bit like a TA in one of my classes last semester I had a crush on.
>>555921
>Look like emo as fuck
>Perfect Joan of Arc
Okay anon, you have to explain this to me: Why is this the perfect representation of Joan of Arc?
>>559195
Not who your responding to, but yeah that pic alone isn't what makes her the perfect Joan d'Arc. You really need to see the film.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3Q6FVhqLY0
>>559587
*you're*
My bad.
armored cheerleader and a dumb cunt who whined because soldiers were fucking whores and knights were vulgar what did she expect really? I'm glad Brits burned her I hope it hurt a fuckton.
>>556085
Who is this really about?
Surely not Joan, right?
>>559776
Thedora I would say. /his/ is obsessed over her.
>>555860
So what color was her hair? There doesn't seem to be a clear consensus.
>>559888
White.
Because of all the semen.
>>558775
Too soon
Because she killed non-Aryan Anglo Blood desu
>>559888
According to people that knew her before she was famous, she had short black hair and was short but "sturdy" and her eyes were brown. She had dark skin from being in the sun so much, but it isn't clear whether she would've been naturally dark also or pale if she'd had less sun. Knights that knew her said she was "beautiful" and a squire who helped dress and armor her said she had "beautiful breasts".
Physical descriptions of her aren't very detailed because she never sat or a portrait and because most contemporary details about her come from her trial transcripts. She would've been sitting right in the same room where everyone could see her for the trial, so there wasn't much reason to discuss her appearance.
>>559909
There's no evidence she was raped or had sex. Quite the opposite actually. >>558940
>>555860
Wasn't she basically France's collective waifu?
>>559978
No red-blooded man would refuse to tap that ass.
Basically what you're saying is that the entire French army was gay.
>>560002
She would have never given up the goods and if any of the French troops raped her, well. I imagine the execution would be excruciating.
>>560002
There is people able to restrain their impulses.
>>555860
So how was she not able to notice that one of her pals was actually a serial child killer?
>>560012
Could you call it extremely painful?
>>560033
Because he only started doing that long after she died.
>>560089
Seems like an odd hobby to pick up
>>560094
Well, you know. Some people never stop learning and growing.
>>560037
For you
>>560094
He did it out of sexual frustration from never banging Joan.
>>560191
shouldn't have gotten cold feet imo
>>556153
>literal pure perfection condemned to the stake
>no accurate porn exists
See, this is why the world can never have nice things.
>>555860
Because she's a manwoman.
Why is there no porn of her?
This thread gave me blue balls
>>560675
>Joan of Arch
>History's Greatest Blue-baller
>>555860
Olga is superior.
>>560863
my nigga
>>555912
Underrated post
>>556153
She came in and out in such a short time, remember she died when she was 18 I believe.
>>555921
not even close anon
>>555860
Because she -is- the little girl;
while we can only dream of greatness.
>>560033
Gille de Rais was the Devil trying to corrupt Jeanne, he secretly organized her capture when he failed.
>She had dark skin from being in the sun so much
AYO HOL UP
>>561681
Since Joan was from eastern France in medieval times, her having "dark skin" probably means she looked more like the left picture than the right.
>>561838
Source is Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (seriously)
>>561813
>>556085
Dank af procopius meme, senpai
Saved.
>>561813
France had negro military leaders
>>560033
All the evidence was planted. He was a good boy. He dindu nuffin.
>>561838
Tending the flock in the field all day is a good way to get tanned.
>>561958
Yeah, but that was literally hundreds of years after Joan.
>>561958
Wow, that's one prominent family
>>561958
NOUS
>>560863
different, they're both magnifiscent
>>562071
ETIONS
>>563042
GLORIFIEÉS
>>559673
>being this fucking mad about a dead chick
Kill yourself faggot.
>>555860
She was fucking awesome. I like the one story we she fell down a river to save a friend of hers and then was ambushed by 100 enemy soldiers. She told her friend to run, and then killed them all by herself, sometimes cutting straight through their armor with her huge sword. I think they called her the hundred man slayer after that.
