ITT: historical shit depicted in movies that pisses you off to no end
I'll start
>Any film set at any period in the Roman Rebublic/Empire's history
>every legionnaire is wearing lorica segmentata
modern wheat
>movie set in ancient egypt
>every egyptian wears a nemes headcloth
>>447624
I've got another. In one of my history classes on Ancient Greece we had to do a project where we made a short documentary (like 10 minutes) on an ancient battle of campaign
>group of SJWs who are only in the class for the history credit
>they do a documentary over Alexander the Great's campaigns into Asia
>they have a segment where they're demonstrating soldiers marching with their spears
obviously it was horrendous, the costumes were like those Halloween 300 costumes, but that's not what pissed me off
>they show a scene of soldiers resting and eating
>they're eating...
>CORN
>MAIZE CORN
JUST
>>447643
How did you not vomit on sight of such an atrocity
Please tell me they failed
>>447616
you should never be sad to see Lorica Segmenta. At least it isn't some leather BDSM bullshit like 99% of fantasy movies.
Most of these are forgivable anachronisms (especially in the high school class assignment). Some movies go way too far
>>447675
No, they didn't. Our prof was a HUGE stickler when it came to using primary sources
>prof asks them why they had corn in there
>they said they read in an old history book that Alexander's soldiers carried corn
>he asks if they bothered to read the footnote
>they didn't
>he explains that "corn" (the translation of the Greek word amalla) means grain, corn is just an archaic word for any cereal grain
>he then tells them that maize is from the New World and that ancient Greeks wouldn't have had it
I wish I could throw in something about how he triggered the SJWs and they joined black lives matter or something but sadly that wasn't the case
>>447681
Wait what the fuck? I thought this was a clip from Saving Private Ryan? Did they actually put this in a historical film?
Medieval/Ren period
Nobility, Clergy, Aristocracy, wealthy merchants, shown as being illiterate and thinking earth is flat.
>>447690
Yup go watch the Robin Hood with Russel Crow
>>447708
Oh god, I just looked the clip up on YouTube. I think I'm going to vomit
Things in Roman movies that irritate me
>Everybody has leather wrapped around their wrists at all times
>They use Latin words that have direct English counterparts, i.e. Testudo and Tortoise, Gladius and sword
>Everyone has a British accent, or cockney
Admittedly that's more for dramatic purposes, which I accept
>Explosive projectiles
>All gladiators were killed
>Centurions don't have a transverse crest
>Empire bad, senators good
>>447616
>Chinese historical film set in any period prior 1600's.
>0 accuracy in Costumes, Props, Armor, Costumes, etc.
>All the time.
Though recent shit like Last Supper or Red Cliff are gunning for accuracy nowadays.
>>447616
>wearing Hamata
Top pleb
>>447719
Romans used flaming projectiles full of flammable liquid. So it isn't s stretch to have explosions.
>>447728
Chinese like to romanticize the hell of their early imperial eras.
Back when it was actual Hans in charge and not mongols or manchus.
>>447716
the scenes with oscar isaac are worth watching though
>>447719
>Gladius and sword
Yyyeaah...Gladius is a VERY specific type of sword. Derived from the Celtic "Kladibbos/Kladimos/Kladsomething," meaning "sword" in general, but Romans applied it to a specific type of Celtic/Celtiberian derived short sword.
The Latin for swords in general is "Ensis."
>>447719
I took Latin in high school for two years.
No one knows how to speak latin as the romans did. Much less how a Latin accented english would sound like.
>>447739
>mongols and manchus
I think you mean east aryans
>>447778
>Altaics.
>People who caused the extinction of Iranic nomads in Central Asia
>Aryan.
>>447753
I meant it in the sense how it always is imperialist British accents, and te grunts are more cockney or countryman (see Rome, Gladiator, The Eagle, Spartacus) and the hero is usually some sort of American accent. Again I understand it's more for gravitas and Shakespearean connotations, but after a while it's a bit annoying
I'm not a Limey, just Cancuck who has far too much time complaining on the internet
>>447753
I never understood this belief. Humor me here, I'm not a linguist but I love languages but I've never dabbled in Latin.
Why wouldn't the Latin we have today be like it was then? Again, humor me. The Roman Catholic Church has always spoke Latin. Until very recently, Mass could only be given in either Greek, Latin, or Hebrew.
So the Roman Catholic Church has been speaking the Latin the Romans used for millennia. The clergy were taught Latin by other clergy who learned it from the previous generation, and so on and so on. All in all this goes back to one long unbroken chain of clergymen teaching other clergy Latin, and presumably for the early clergy, Latin was their native tongue. So while I realize that you may never have a complete "native" accent when you learn a language, if you are taught it from a young age and study it all your life, you'll probably get it down pretty well
>tl;dr
If the Roman Catholic Church has been using Latin since the Church was first founded there, why can't that be the correct accent?
>>447786
I think they just do that to illustrate the difference in the fact that the common soldier spoke Vulgar Latin whereas the educated and elite spoke Greek. I might be giving Hollywood too much credit here though
Spinning shit. Stop spinning pls.
>>447797
The way people talk change, and records on how it used to sound either got lost or were never recorded.The Roman Catholic Church's version of Latin, Ecclesiastical Latin, wasn't around until the middle ages, and its pronunciation was based around Italian, not Latin.
>>447728
I recently watched this entire animu series. Didn't seem too bad but what do I know.
http://myanimelist.net/anime/17389/Kingdom_2nd_Season
>>447777
We do it in english, speaking about germans. The romans in the movie are supposed to be talking latin, the random latin words are stupid since in the movie english is latin.
>>447797
You don't think english as it's spoken now it's the same as it was spoken centuries before, right?
>>447880
No, but that's because it is a language that has naturally evolved. The Roman Catholic Church is an institution that has tried to keep the Latin it uses uniform and unchanged for centuries.
Like I said I realize I'm probably wrong in my line of thinking, it just seems like the Latin they speak in the Vatican is probably the closest accent we'll ever have to what the Romans spoke.
>>447661
Here is a skull from the Amarna period, it clearly has Caucasian light brown hair. This is not a mummy's skull, it is from a grave. The desert does naturally mummify bodies though, due to the lack of humidity.
2.2 KYA
>>447802
This
I remember looking up why everyone pretty much has an english accent in Les Mis, it's used in plays and cinema a lot to illustrate class, as the lower class english accents and upper class "BBC" english are so different.
>Vikings series
>The chieftain is a dictator akin to Hitler who murders the blacksmith and doesn't get outlawed or executed for his crime
To be honest it would be easier to just compile a list of movies that get most things correct.
It would be a very short list though.
Personally I always notice how 18th century thoroughbreds are used for almost every movie horse scene, even if it's set in Ancient Egypt or Viking age Europe. Pic related is a major exception.
>>447616
Medieval period: Everything is grimdark, everyone is perpetually covered in shit and entire armies wear black and brown leather biker gear.
>>447689
>they said they read in an old history book that Alexander's soldiers carried corn
>he asks if they bothered to read the footnote
>they didn't
>he explains that "corn" (the translation of the Greek word amalla) means grain, corn is just an archaic word for any cereal grain
Seriously? Are there people around that don't know what crops are from the new world?
>>448040
Meant this picture.
>>448045
What movie is that picture from? Looks way badass
>>448062
Beowulf and Grendel
>>448074
>Beowulf and Grendel
thanks mate, is it worth a watch?
>>448040
>SJWs and New Liberals
>caring about objective facts
pick one. They get their history from Twitter
>Cannonballs explode
I mean yeah, a lot of armies used shells in artillery, but not every shot was shells. The Patriot is the only movie I've seen that shows correct cannonballs, its about the only good thing in the film.
Also biker bondage gear in medieval films, everyone wearing brown, giant bowls and braziers of mysterious burning fluid inside every building, thousands of candles in a single room etc,
>>448040
>It would be a very short list though.
1. Ridley Scott's "The Duellists"
2. Kubrick's "Barry Lyndon"
3. Mel Gibson's "Passion" I guess
anything more?
>>448019
Oh and don't forget the horned helmets. This is't as much of an issue in Denmark atleast, because people associate the horned helmets with comedy.
>movie set in ancient Greece
>everyone speaks English
>>448149
Master and Commander?
>>448164
But this is better to be honest.
If they actually tried to make the dialog into Classical Greek the wave of butthurt from Modern Greeks would be insane.
>Only Greeks know how to pronounce Greek!
>Erasmus was wrong! There are no diphtongs! Eta is pronounced like E in English OKAY?!?!?!?!?
>>448185
I don't think anyone would've watched it in the first place
>>448195
That might be true. Most people are Anglophilliacs.
>>448207
>Americans
>Anglos
>>448212
>implying they're not
>>448185
>giving a shit what gayreeks think
They also threw a hissy fit when that terrible Alexander movie portrayed Hephaestion as Alexander's butt buddy. Nobody cared lol. Greek opinions on anything are irrelevant since that horribly botched and humiliating war with Turkey in 1920
>>448092
I suppose so, It's not an A movie but if you like the period it's good.
>>448149
Duelist combat wasn't 100% accurate but good nonetheless. Not sure about uniforms but those looked good.
Barry Lyndon had a soundtrack that featured a few songs composed decades if not half a century after the story takes place.
Never seen the Passion.
>>448182
I guess. Though in the books it's a corvette while its a six rate in the movie or the other way around.
>>448019
>Vikings with hipster haircuts
>Vikings wearing biker leather clothes
>They know of Russia but not of England
>Shield maidens killing Saxon soldiers like nothing
>We murdered countless innocents, now feel bad for us with this family drama!
Fuck that show.
>>448212
Explain how they aren't
>>447786
Marxist tactic of forgetting that people acted and thought differently in the past... they want it to be the same people now but magically transported back in time n shiiiet
FIRTEEEENF
>>447616
>a movie or a game about Rome
>Romans speak with posh English accents
>>447797
What the hell is wrong with this thread? Not a single distinguishing source or argument besides "time changes it so it's impossible now". Way to discredit the massive amount of linguistic work that had revealed a large majority of how " Classical" Latin sounded. Obviously we can't get a perfect play by play of every change in every area but the field of reconstruction is extremely well documented and a simple three word google search away for tons of information. Anyone who spouts this contrarion shit citing only "common sense" without ever stopping to think another argument exists needs to off themselved from this board.
>>449059
What the hell are you getting fanny flustered at me for? I'm the one that said we probably know what classical Latin sounded like since the Church has used it constantly for 2 thousand years and we've done a lot of research into it.
>Map in background or at a cutscene
>Map is incorrect
>Borders are not at the right place or the names of cities are wrong
MAXIMUM OVERBUTTHURT ENGAGED
AUTISM OVERLOAD
>why are these faggots not using shields
>where is the battle line
Roman infantry tactics help us in our hour of need.
The costumes etc are actually fairly good in this
(minus the scene with the aliens obviously)
ITT: Autists.
I bet you'll be angry once you notice that it's Lukes first lightsabre that was lost with his hand, not the new one he made, too.
>>447632
This movie drove me fucking nuts. I walked out at their version of Kadesh. Cavalry in ancient Egypt, fucking hell.
>>448914
Most have German heritage
Historical advisors only show up to eat free food and get ignored
>>447867
>the random latin words are stupid since in the movie english is latin.
its to further the immersion into the setting
>>448019
I'm more concerned about this stupid fucking leather armor and everyone looking like fantasy RPG bandit
what are colorful clothes vikings liked so much and chainmail not fucking grimdark and edgy enough for the show's 14yo metalhead audience?
![005[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/Mp2pLAZ.png "005[1].png")
>>448149
The Anime "Maria the Virgin Witch" has a surprisingly accurate depiction of the Hundred Years War, save for basically everything related to magic. The story kinda sucks though.
>>449736
where the fuck did Moses get that iron armor?
>>449793
Skallagrim mentioned it
>>449792
Yeah, The Last Kingdom really annoyed me with their costumes as well. It was totally fantasy tier
>>449804
Not to mention they dress in layers in the fucking Levant. That movie was a total mess. Ridley Scott's historical movies get shittier and shittier with each successive one.
>>449816
Hey man, at least the Britons wore fucking armor in that series. Seeing real maille in anything is fucking rare.
>>449936
Yeah, wearing THAT armor is as bad as showing Republican Romans wearing segmentata. Also why the fuck was Alfred wearing a Chinese dress?
>>449999
>>449793
Nice formation
>>449207
Dude, the aliens were accurately depicted.
>>448207
A lot of people watched the Passion of Christ which didn't have a single line in English.
>>450277
This.
>No squares
>>447643
>>they're eating...
>>CORN
>>MAIZE CORN
history newbie here.
what's wrong with this?
>>451082
So why are the French out of formation
>>449207
BIGGUS
DICKUS
>>451126
New world crop
>>451143
oh ok
its weird though, so in that big land mass known as Eurasia there was no corn crops or anything?
>>451157
And no potatoe.
And there is no tiger or lion on the vast plain of north america. weird, heh ?
>>449758
Both Angles, and Saxons were from Germany.
>>451178
So by extention, the anglos arent anglo either, there german.
Therefore, americans are anglo, which are german by extention.
You see?
>>451157
>its weird though, so in that big land mass known as Eurasia there was no corn crops or anything
Corn just means any grain crop, so when you hear references to Corn in English songs and shit, they're talking about wheat or barley, not Maize.
>>451260
so Demeter, Greek god of Corn was just a Greek god of wheat and grain?
shit that makes a whole lot more sense to me now
>>450991
For completely different reasons though. Most people who saw the Passion were practicing Christians who basically wanted to see the Passion play but with a huge budget and production values.
Unless the average English speaker (specifically American) is watching something in another language for either religious (like the Passion) or "badass" factor (like Wolfenstein or something) then they don't really care and it just annoys them.
>>451300
Yeah, the Greek word for corn ("amalla") just means cereal grain.
And like the other anon said, "corn" is an archaic word that meant grain, it just evolved like most archaic terms do and the original meaning is lost in translation. Like the word "should". People use should incorrectly all the fucking time and don't realize it because the actual meaning of the word should is kinda archaic. That's more a syntax issue than a diction one tho
>>451396
>People use should incorrectly all the fucking time
whats the correct way?
>>451404
"Should" means that something is in need of something, or to be ought.
An example of should that could be correct or incorrectly used.
"The tables should be cleaned."
If one is saying that the tables need to be cleaned, it is correct. If someone is saying that the tables have been cleaned but are unsure if they are all done, should has been used incorrectly.
Should isn't really a good example because lots of people use it correctly, but they also use it incorrectly a lot too and don't understand why they're right or wrong. There are better examples of archaic words but I'm tired and a little drunk to be honest family
>>448395
It was a good movie...
>>451215
You're thinking of Engles.
Things in WW2 movies:
>Germans being cruel, murderous brutes
>Hitler doing anything wrong
>>447624
Never thought of this, fuck. Now I won't ever be able to stop noticing.
![fmj4[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/M3vTAz1.jpg "fmj4[1].jpg")
>>447616
Inaccuracies of US gear in Vietnam War movies never fails to bother the living hell out of me. Full Metal Jacket is pretty much the worst offender when it comes to this.
>>447616
This whole thread makes me wonder if the playgoers in Shakespearean England complained that the actor playing julis Caesar wasn't wearing anything remotely Roman.
>>451138
Because pursuit forces rarely if ever keep formation.
If you do, the enemy gets away and you're going to have to fight them again.
this is literally the entire reason false retreats could work.
>>449793
No it isn't, Skal made some good points on how it's better and how the fighting is slightly good, but other than that it's typical anime trash. Like how in your picture the battle consists of literally 5 pairs of people dueling individually and only one person has a bow.
>>449793
>>451178
Angles were from Jutland, Denmark. Saxons were Germans.
>>447692
even most peasants would have known the earth was round, it was pretty common knowledge
>>447616
>macedonians were celts
>>452630
WE
>>448149
Zulu?
>>451743
How so?
(No-USArian here)
>>447719
>British eternally cucked Italians
>Romans will always be british, never MILANO
>>451173
>No maize corn
>no potatoes
>no tomatoes either
What the fuck did Europeans eat before the Americas was discovered?
bread, ale, etc.
>>452956
Wheat was the staple for most places. The reason some of the initial Europeans colonies failed was because they tried to grow wheat in a climate that didn't suit it.
Likewise, the reason maize is so popular in Africa today is because the Europeans introduced it there and it replaced local crops as it was easier to grow and provided more food. Of course, whenever a drought hits the corn is the first to go, hence all the starvation.
>>452956
Bread, turnips, fruit, shit like that. Sometimes meat.
>game with a norse or norse-based faction
>weak cavalry
>>452956
To be fair we still don't really eat maize. We use it to feed pigs and other animals. Same with soja.
But yeah a world without tomatoes and potatoes must suck.
t. France
Any movie, videogame etc about Russians
>FOR MADR RASHA
>FOR STALIN
>LET'S DRINK AND SMOKE VASILI
>*followed by 30 minutes of vodka binges and kazachok dancing*
Any movie or videogame about nazi Germany
>dead serious, constipated looks
>everything has swastika patterns
>Hitler saluting every 5 seconds
>I MUST PURGE ZEE UNTERMENSCHEN AS I AM ZEE MASTER RACE
>Roman costumes were absolutely immaculate in terms of accuracy
>Gaulish costumes apart from Vercingetorix himself looked awful
reeeeeeeeee
>>447719
>Everyone has a British accent, or cockney
Literally this.
>Roman patrician
>Oh golly gee look at all those flabbergasted Gauls my old chap
>Roman pleb
>u wot m8 I'll stab ya with me gladius I sware on me mum
>>453064
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exI45AnLBRc
>medieval/ancient warfare is just people going out into a field and aimlessly swinging swords at each other in highly choreographed fashion. No formations
>Calvary units simply just ride up on their horses, and stop near an enemy on foot, and start sword fighting them from on top their horse
>castles are grey and drab spooky haunted houses basically with no color and looks like ruins that they are today
>everyone in medieval europe wore shitty brown and bloom fantasy looking armor and clothes, were constantly covered in dirt, especially on their faces for some reason, and had horrible rotten teeth
>swords making SHWING noises as they are pulled out of scabbards and loud THWICK noises as they stab someone
>using longbows as super accurate sniper rifles basically
>generic "barbarians" attire of shitty, matted on bear pelts and huge furs for any and everyone who isnt Roman or English or whatever the main character is
>any modern day forced multicultural casting in a setting that didnt have it
>any character wearing the wrong shit, like the movie is set in 1000AD, but people are wearing armor from 1350 or something but no one gives a shit because it all just the same medieval shit to them
Any movie or TV show involving gladiators.
>The only event that ever seems to occur in the giant fucking arena is one on one death matches or maybe small groups fighting each other
>Never any variety in the types of gladiators that fight, maybe there will be a murmillo
>The fight is always to the death
>Gladiator armour is never ornate or elaborate
>No pompa, no musicians
>Pollice always verso
>>453094
>Calvary units simply just ride up on their horses, and stop near an enemy on foot, and start sword fighting them from on top their horse
This is forgivable since *safety.*
>>453035
I've never heard of the Norse having a strong cavalry tradition, especially not when compared to nations like France, Germany, or Poland. It makes sense why they wouldn't, too. You're not going to bring a horse on a raid in a tiny longboat, and as far as I know the Scandinavian terrain isn't very suitable for supporting a large amount of cavalry. First you have the cold climate, but also the dense forests of Sweden and Denmark, and Norway's mountains. Conversely, the regions that are well known for cavalry - France, Germany, Poland, and Hungary, have large expanses of plains and grassland, perfect for horses.
I'm sure the Norse would've had horses and some cavalry soldiers, but it seems unlikely to me that they would've had a cavalry force anywhere near the likes of French or German knights.
>>453101
>safety
fuck that shit. Ben Hur wasnt fucking around
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frE9rXnaHpE
plus Im sure they could do some movie magic with cgi or puppets or whatever
>Bronze Age
>everyone is draped in latex
>>453035
it's almost as if norsemen didn't have any cavalry and Normans were as Norse as modern Americans are Irish
>>453101
How? Just shoot the scene at an angle so that it looks like the blow connected when in fact it wasn't even close. It seems like it'd be safer for the horse too, since you wouldn't have to have two actors swinging at each other right next to the animal.
Of course your average Hollywood star isn't going to be enough of an experienced horse rider to pull that off, but that's what stunt doubles are for.
>>453113
What?
>>453118
Yeah, not really possible when you're showing shitloads of horses running people down. Also that in itself is dangerous.
I cant think of a scene where horses used en mass shoots didn't do some damage. Waterloo, LOTR, had plenty of injuries from handling such numbers of horsies in a single scene.
Also the reason why Lances are rarely used in shoots involving cavalry attacks. You could easily poke out someone's ribs with that thing.
>>449758
Irrelevant. Americans are culturally Anglo., and European ethnicities, especially in the west, are so mixed with each other that there is very little genetic difference between a German and a Frenchman and an Englishman, compared to other ethnic divides like Japanese and Koreans.
t. American
>>452398
They were from Jutland, but not Denmark. Angeln is located in Holstein, which is the German part of Jutland.
Jutes, a separate people, were, however, just as important a part of the Germanic migratin into England as the Angles and the Saxons, so it should really be AngloJuteSaxons, but I guess that doesn't sound as good so Denmark got cucked out of history.
>>453145
Japanese and Koreans are more similar to each other than Germans and French
>american education
just get shot or something
>>453145
>>Americans are culturally Anglo., and European >>ethnicities...
Ho ho ho
>>447744
Gladius just means "sword" in general.
You would tell people to get out their "Gladius" regardless if it was a Spatha, or a Gladius as we know today.
Greek Xiphos? That's a Gladius.
Iberian Falcata? That's an... oddly curved Gladius.
Rapier from the 18th century? HOLY SHIT THAT'S A POINTY GLADIUS.
If a commander wanted soldiers to bring out a certain type of sword, he'd specify the exact name rather than just saying "Gladius."
>>453160
Actually Glaudius was the Roman emporer when Moses genocided the Macabees
>>453124
Let me guess : you are english and unironically believe normans were 100% norse ?
If anything anglo-saxons were way closer to the norse culture than normans.
>>453035
The Norse came from a land that wasn't cavalry country.
If you're gonna pull off the Norman Example: that would be them acclimatizing to Frankish Culture: whose military culture centered around the mounted professional heavy cavalryman.
>>447681
What the fuck I just saw. Why always going with a teen history?
>>453109
In the original Ben Hur (1925) silent film a stuntman actually died filming the chariot race sequence when he was thrown from his chariot. At least 5 horses were put down as well.
Also, during the filming of the naval battle it is alleged that the drowning deaths of several men were covered up after a staged trireme fire went out of control. It is known however that it resulted in the disappearances of three men before they showed up 3 days later still dressed as Roman soldiers.
The directors literally did not give a fuck. But then again, none did back then.
>>453046
>Europeans don't eat corn taco shells, Doritos, or anything with corn syrup
What do you eat?
I don't like calling the Americas the New World because there were people already there.
>literally everybody has a horse to charge into battle on
>>453205
>What do you eat?
dicks
>>453205
tomatoes and potatoes?
A pretty big issue I have is armour.
What the fuck is the point of armour in Hollywood films? Swords and arrows cut through it like any other piece of clothing.
Also, everyone exclusively fighting with swords, maybe the filthy barbarians will have axes. Spears are exclusively for the first 5 seconds of Greek and Roman combat only, then swishy sword dancing.
>>453226
can verify
>>453094
fucking this, the color shit pisses me off
>medieval Europe depicted in movie: poor, grey, brown, always cloudy and overcast, everyone is dirty and sad
>Middle East depicted in movie: colorful! clean! white silk sheets! incense! educated people!
Fucking pisses me off. People don't seem to realize that people have always loved color. Castle walls had beautiful frescoes and paintings. Even peasants wore somewhat colorful clothing, and especially those with a somewhat elevated position in society (anyone that wasn't a serf really). And yeah your average Medieval farmer probably wasn't literate but it's not like he was a fucking retard. And also, during the Middle Ages before the Crusades began, Europe was richer than it had ever been. Trade between Italy and the East and South brought in huge amounts of wealth. Italy especially would by no means have been a poverty stricken wasteland.
I don't understand why white people hate themselves so much that we glorify mudslime cock while depicting ourselves as braindead, dirty peasants
>>453109
fun fact: that part where he is almost thrown from the chariot went terribly wrong lol. He was supposed to land right back in it, but was thrown in front and almost fell under the chariot and died.
Movie making before the 1970s was fuckin metal
>>453158
WE
WUZ
KING OF KINGZ
>>453340
Because Orientalism has been a thing for centuries: people like to hear and write about exotic faraway places with strange peoples and colours and knowledge etc etc
As for medieval yurop being brown and retarded, you can probably blame that on people glorifying the Renaissance by portraying everything beforehand as savage and stupid.
>>453213
>muh Indians
fuck off. Indians were violent savages who killed each other all the time, and most never even invented the fucking wheel. I'm tired of this white guilt bullshit. Do people shame the mudslimes for conquering Spain and slaughtering Christians en masse? No, because we'd rather suck their cocks these days instead.
The Americas were the New World because Europeans were the first people of worth to get there (except for maybe the Incas, Aztecs, etc, they had some of their shit together at least).
>>448164
I'd rather add suspension of disbelief, than subtitles and actors sounding like robots as they pronounce all their lines phonetically.
Blame the Tardis translation circuit.
>>453369
But that's assuming that things like hygiene and color were "exotic" concepts to Medieval Europeans. It wasn't. People knew how to bathe, and had colorful clothing and educated people.
I don't really mind the glorification of the Orient, because yeah I understand that it's exotic and they want to convey the sense of wonder people had for it. But I hate it when they make white Europeans look like filthy, retarded barbarians in comparison.
>>453374
Are you false flagging or just stupid?
>>449824
You should watch "Noah".
>>453387
I don't think it's a conscious decision really. Most of the blame of dirty medieval Europeans can largely be pinned on pop history which, in itself, has some roots in rebelling against previously over-idealised depictions of medieval life. Most media can't be bothered to depict the complexities of medieval life so it's generally over-simplified as "everything is shit."
As for why the same isn't applied for non-white civilisations from the time, it's probably a combination of general unfamiliarity with their history (hence themepark-tourist type idealisation) and some legit white guilt. Colonial era depictions of non-European civilisations were hardly flattering most of the time and there's probably a latent desire to avoid comparison.
Keep in mind these two depictions rarely coincide in the same works (I can't remember any film that shows dirty Monty-Python-esque peasants alongside enlightened Ay-Rabs) so it might just be a matter of reading into two different tropes from different works.
>>453392
And what about it is stupid? Are you saying Muslims didn't kill and enslave thousands of Christians, purely for the fact that they wouldn't convert or pay jizya?
Great argument, m8, I r8 8.8/88, sorry im a bit l8 i g2g masturb8
>>453358
>svear and geats were the best and most feared horsemen in europe of that time.
Hahahah -No.
The most feared horsemen in Europe during the 700's-900's aren't found in Western/Northern Europe my friend. You looked east for that towards the never ending Central Asian/Uralic Migrants that seem to come in waves. First and foremost among them were the Bulgars, Magyars, and Avars.
Furthermore most of Scandinavian horse usage existed for raiding and transport. Not comparable to the full on military system of logistics, supply, training that supported the Frankish Cavalry. The Franks popularized the couched lance charge in Western European cavalry for starters.
>>453109
Man that makes Nascar look sad.
But yeah, we gotta get the "no animals were harmed during this production" label on the end these days... You can CGI it, of course, but meh, tends to look like arse.
Folks just aren't willing to kill for their entertainment anymore - such a shame.
Not in movies, but it pisses me off regardless
>books
>"The Complete History of _____"
>it's a 400 page at most softback pop-history shit filled with colorful pictures for retards who can't read
YES THE COMPLETE HISTORY OF A 2000 YEAR LONG CIVILIZATION IS IN YOUR PICTURE BOOK REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>453443
>kill and enslave thousands of religious minorities, purely for the fact that they wouldn't convert or pay extra tax?
Seems like a fair deal by medieval standards.
>>453481
Except that Europeans never did this to other Christians. We did it later with dindus yeah, but rarely other Christians. And we hardly did it with the mudshits either.
But what's the point. You're another "refugees welcome!" cuck, I'm wasting my breath.
>>453488
I'm not the guy you were raging at. I just threw that out there.
>rarely other Christians
laughing_byzantines_and_germans.jpg
>le cuck meme
You sound mad son.
>>453500
Byzantines continued to keep slaves because it was the Roman tradition. And I never said Christians didn't keep pagans as slaves. They certainly did (although as they were converted slavery was de facto abolished in Europe).
It wasn't until the slave trade with Africa that we found more cheap labor. Although seeing what they've done to America I wish we would have picked our cotton ourselves.
>>453510
I was actually referring more to the Thirty Years War and all the related fun massacres that happened before, during and after. Slavery of pagans did exist but never in a significant scale.
>>453529
I never said we didn't slaughter each other senpai, just that we didn't enslave each other. that would be morally wrong :3
>>447616
That one thing that everybody does in a movie fight scene where they spin 360 degrees to cut at the other guy.
>>447643
FATHER CORN BLESS US
>march in a formation
>MOSHPIT
every fucking time
>>453050
Yeah, that first battle. I always think they're fighting fucking Dacians or something.
>>447616
>movie about the British Empire
>shown as extremely evil and even act as borderline Nazis
>>453443
Remember the 2 million europeans taken as slaves since the age of discovery. Mudslimes went as far slave raiding as Iceland. Russians were dicks and took Finns to be sold as slaves when they waged war on Sweden.
>>453358
>most feared horsemen in europe of that time
>>453664
to be fair the Russians were probably butthurt that the Finns raped and pillaged Europe for decades
>>453050
What movie?
>>453656
Which movie? Was it about the Boers or India, because if so, I got news for you my Anglo friend.
Otherwise, yeah.
>>453693
HBO Rome senpai. You're missing out, its fucking god tier stuff
>>453698
It was that Mel Gibson movie (The Patriot). To make the main bad-guys (the British Dragoons) more hateable, they based their actions off the Nazis during WW2
>>453146
Also, didn't Jutes only form a small single kingdom in England while the rest were either angle or saxon?
>>453729
>Jutes
They pretty much immediately assimilated with the Saxons
>>453456
Upvote.
>>453714
Fuck me I want to watch it so bad.
>>451396
In Germany Korn means seeds, Weizenkörner are Wheat seeds for example, so I guess there is a more obvious connection to the old word than in English.
>>453358
S T O R M F A G
WINTER NIGGER
WE WUZ CUNKERORS
>>453358
>svear and geats were the best and most feared horsemen in europe of that time
Welp, not even "better than their reputation", or "actually pretty good". Nope, straight up the "best and most feared in Europe". I like it, go big or go home when it comes to bullshit statements.
>>448381
>t. Mehmet
>>453369
>Because Orientalism has been a thing for centuries:
it started in the 60s with hippie bullshit and never really stoped with the whole "bohemian" subculture of hipsters or whatever you want to call them.
Also, oikophobia is something stupid people use to make it seem like they are smart. For some reason, hating everything about yourself but loving everything about others is "intellectual"
You also need to factor in super politically correct culture that has just been growing since the late 80s. Shit you never even really think about. Like silly commercials that show medieval europeans as dirty and stupid. Theres nothing really THAT wrong with it, its just a funny little skit to sell a product, but it imprents itself in the common plebs understanding of history if they see it over and over again. But theres no way in hell someone could make a silly commercial of say a bunch of dirty and stupid african tribes not understanding technology or something.
>>453932
>Orientalism started in the 1960s
>helmets are only for generic mooks real heroes don't wear them!
I mean I know they do it so we can see actors face but it still irks me there is still no excuse for
>heroes use only two handed swords!
yeah fuck shields rest of the guys use go 1v10 with no helmet or shield the plot armor will save you
>>453983
name a time before then when a large group of people started liking eastern shit over western shit
>>453999
Romanticism
>>454011
lol no
in either case, your point is moot since the modern obsession with eastern shit is obvioulsy rooted in hippie bullshit of the 60s
>>454016
Wrong, you cunt. Orientalism has always been around in Europe. Possibly starting with the Persiaboo Greeks that existed. Or with the Crusaders
You want more solid proof, look up Chinoiserie. It's a French art style based on mimicking Chinese aesthetics. Was all the rage in the late 1600's and 1700's with the French Connection to the Chinese Emperor. Let's not even forget the obsession with Tea and Coffee Drinking Europeans acquired from Easterners.
>modern obsession with eastern shit is obvioulsy rooted in hippie bullshit of the 60s
Back then only the High Class can into Orientalism as they had the education to know what Eastern Cultures are & appreciate them + the money to buy their shit. The plebs are stuck with local shit since they obviously can't afford it.
Its not the hippies really, its just globalism and improved media technology that made eastern shit cheaper for the plebs. Back then only a rich Aristo can afford to buy Porcelain. Nowadays some neet can consume anime via downloading it through the net.
>>453999
Fuck, the interest in the 'mysterious orient' has been there since at least the 18th century.
Read the poem Xanadu for instance or any work by Novalis, those guys were completely horny on the eastern world
>>454039
>Wrong, you cunt. Orientalism has always been around in Europe. Possibly starting with the Persiaboo Greeks that existed. Or with the Crusaders
>You want more solid proof, look up Chinoiserie. It's a French art style based on mimicking Chinese aesthetics. Was all the rage in the late 1600's and 1700's with the French Connection to the Chinese Emperor. Let's not even forget the obsession with Tea and Coffee Drinking Europeans acquired from Easterners.
>>modern obsession with eastern shit is obvioulsy rooted in hippie bullshit of the 60s
>Back then only the High Class can into Orientalism as they had the education to know what Eastern Cultures are & appreciate them + the money to buy their shit. The plebs are stuck with local shit since they obviously can't afford it.
want part of " liking eastern shit over western shit" dont you understand you autist? They may have liked their clothes or paintings or whatever, but they looked at them as interesting weirdos. The idea that they were actually better than us didnt start until the 60s
its not about collecting jars you dip, its a mind set.
>>454056
>Laughed at the notion that Orientalism didn't exist prior 1960's
You brought it to yourself m8.
>>451140
It's funny, that scene had me in absolute stitches the first time I saw it, but with later viewings it just somehow wasn't funny any more.
>>453423
Kingdom of Heaven
Litterally shit covered stupid Crusaders versus lovely enlightened humane Muslims
>>453684
Shur up cracker, finns didnt do nothin
>movie or TV series set in the Ming dynasty
>armour doesn't even resemble anything from the Ming era
The only movie that got the costumes mostly right was Fall of Ming.
>>454056
>they looked at them as interesting weirdos.
That's pretty much the definition of orientalism, doe.
>>453094
HOLY SHIT ALL OF THIS FUCKING HELL
>>454056
>but they looked at them as interesting weirdos.
That's orientalism you dumb fuck
>>454056
>The idea that they were actually better than us didnt start until the 60s
Europeans actually fucking thought the Chinese emperor was the ideal absolute monarch. The absolute madmen!
>>447797
Church latin is pretty different from vulgar latin and the latin spoke by the nobility
>>447616
The Lorica Segmentata was certainly the most common form of armor in the empire for almost three hundred years; literally ever Legionnaire is depicted wearing it on Trajan's column
>>447616
>Cannonballs instantly explode
I get that the effects would be expensive, but still
>>448100
The problem is that it's really expensive to do them correctly. You have to do either either a CGI cannonball with CGI gore, which is expensive, or a CGI cannonball with prosthetic gore, which is even more expensive. Making them explode is wayyyyy cheaper.
>>448413
I'd say soundtrack is free reign though since it's on our side of the 4th wall imho
>>449804
Except that looks nothing like iron, it looks like either steel (anachronistic) or arsenic bronze (accurate). Totally irrelevant though, because scale armor wouldn't exist anywhere outside of China yet..
>>454159
>Ming military costumes
Rank and file tend to be ahistorical,while higher ranking personalities look like some Song dynasty clone.
Don't know how much has been said, but
>Fire arrows
>Flaming/exploding projectiles from medieval siege weapons
>Torches
>Stupid pieces of metal every wall because it 'looks medieval'
>Most hand-to-hand fighting/ sword choreography
>Female soldier (No I'm not sexist, they simly didn't exist aside from rare amazon regiments)
>Battles that are just a free-for-all... you know, smoke everywhere and everyone is having individual duels
>>453151
Learn to read, he said the exact opposite.
>>453529
>Slaughters after the 30 years war
Which?
>>453897
I think we still kinda do that sometimes.
>came up wanting
>he was left with want
>>453998
Zweihanders were a pretty big deal in late medieval Germany.
>>454092
They actually did the armor correctly in that movie, and I love it for that.
>>451157
No Tomatos, chilis or cacao either.
>>447728
>0 accuracy
This. Some historical costumes are well researched,but military costumes end up looking psuedo japanese/fantasy/anachronistic.
>>449793
I gotta watch this.
Did you like Rose of Versailles? It follows the build-up to the French Revolution but the main character is a girl named Oscar a general raised as his son.
>>453213
"people"
>>454398
>Cannonballs explode at all
FTFY
>>453652
I haven't watched the movie, but I am interested in dacian history; what do you mean?
>>449816
Why does no one in a medieval setting wash their face?
>>451425
>If someone is saying that the tables have been cleaned but are unsure if they are all done, should has been used incorrectly.
No because in this sense they're saying that someone ought to have washed the tables. Whether they did or not is where the uncertainty comes from.
>All knights are evil and greedy except for one/the protag
>All knights are good and chivalrous except the antag
It's literally the fucking same with anyone. They may have been medieval people but they were still fucking people. Some were good, some were bad, some were in between.
>>453443
>muh jizya
>muh 6000000 akçe
>>453776
>WE WUZ CUNKERORS
This doesn't really work because it's true
>>453999
You can't be serious
>>455396
You're dumb.
>>455429
no anon, you are. You took the definition of the word I speciicially indicated I was NOT talking about and then said, like the true autist that you are, DATS DA MEANING DOE!
Thats how fucking dumb you are. And not in a "you dont know this factoid/trivia question" dumb, but at the core root of it, your brain is broken and shitty.
Oh boy, you guys should really see Lindybeige's reaction on Ironclad, it's like a three videos where he just shits on everything
>>447616
>a movie set in the early middle ages
>every man at arms is wearing full plate armor
Seriously
>>453340
>And also, during the Middle Ages before the Crusades began, Europe was richer than it had ever been.
>kek
Richer than Rome? I don't think so. Europe was a cultural, economic and political backwater after the collapse of the Roman Empire until the 17th century. While the poverty might be exaggerated in the movies it certainly wasn't untrue.
>>453932
No read a fucking book or at least do a simple wikipedia search. Orientalism has been a thing in the West since the beginning of the Age of Sails and some argue it might have been older and had its origins in the Crusades.
Everything else you've written is contrarian for the sake of being contrarian.
>>453340
Yeah this too. Also you gotta love how the bathhouse sex slaves always seem to be in a good, flirtatious mood despite going through the mental shock of kidnapped from the modern world and watching their family being ripped about so they may preform harsh labor and be raped for the rest of their lives.
>>455639
>Europe was a cultural, economic and political backwater after the collapse of the Roman Empire until the 17th century
Epic
ITT autistic rage
most the point of movies is to romanticize ideas. asking for every small thing to be historically accurate is just unrealistic.
>>455745
Still doesn't stop the inaccuracies from bothering people.
>>447616
>Viking movie/show/etc.
>horned helms
>>454398
>>455171
Oddly enough, that was the one thing that The Patriot actually got accurate. In the finally battle it shows a cannonball landing in front of the continental line, then bouncing into them and knocking off a guy's leg.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=mW05_NXno_c#t=66
>>455639
>Europe was a cultural, economic and political backwater after the collapse of the Roman Empire until the 17th century
kek
>>453999
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinoiserie
Eat shit and die, faggot.
>>448040
Thanks lindybaige
>>453999
"japan is so cool"
t. hearn
>>449079
I think anon means that Latin did change from the foundation of the Church
