I vote for the battle of Texel, fought between The Dutch navy and French cavalry. Pic related. They snuck across the ice by covering their horses hooves in cloth to avoid waking the sailors and captured 14 icebound ships. No casualties. The only known time in history that cavalry captured a fleet.
>France always solves everything with cavalry charges but sucks at naval warfare
>"fuck it, we'll cavalry charge a fleet"
>>426464
Age of Empires tier logic but it panned out lol
it's probably a meme, but hilarous anyway
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes
Battle on the Ice was fought on a frozen lake.
>>426472
tl;dr?
>>426475
Fake battle
>>426475
self-inflicted defeat
>>426431
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_War
3000+ people are killed between El Salvador and Honduras over immigration issues and the result of a World Cup qualifying match.
>>426472
Austrians fought Austrians, result 10k casualties. Its just a meme.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_for_Castle_Itter
Basically, after Hitler's death American soldiers, French prisoners, and German soldiers defender an Austrian castle against an SS division
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Lake_Baikal
Certainly not the most absurd but weird enough.
/r/ing
>imperial japan
>not present in area
>>426825
You forgot to mention that one of the French guys was a tennis player.
>>426475
Massive friendly fire incident that leaves 10,000 dead.
>>426843
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Cottage
>>426830
I remember reading about how after WWI, a portion of the Czech army was trapped in Russia for two years. Amazing story. Well worth the read. Not sure if that's related to this.
>>426905
That's exactly it. It's the Czechoslovak Legion. Expats and later also some deserters and POWs who decided to fight against the A-H. Then Soviets took over and blocked their westwards return home. So they had to take the long route east. Get in on all sorts of shenanigans in the Civil War. Such as controlling most of the Siberian railroad, getting involved with Kolchak, and shooting godless gommies. Rather important part of society and military in interwar Czechoslovakia too. After they finally got to Vladivostok and on the boats over the Pacific to the US and then across the Atlantic, that is.
>>426431
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Blackcock
BIG
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogger_Bank_incident
I cant believe no ones brought this one up yet
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Zanzibar_War
>>426464
Kek
>>426431
>battle off samar
>Japanese draw main US fleet away using their aircraft(less) carriers as bait
>send a battleship/cruiser force to attack landing ships
>stumbles into group of escort carriers and destroyers meant to hunt submarines
>carriers too slow to get away
>destroyers counterattack and try to cover them with a smokescreen
>Japanese start taking damage and getting disorganized
>cut their losses and retreat because they think they're fighting the main US fleet
>>426867
wtf, someone should make a meme out of this
>>426825
Why is this not a movie?
>>427038
>the eternal anglo easily overpowers some benighted heathens
not sure what's so absurd about this
>>426431
>The Skirmish at Joncherey was the first military action on the Western Front during World War I. It occurred in the village of Joncherey which, at the time, was located on the French border with German Alsace-Lorraine. The skirmish took place before war had officially been declared by Germany on France, on August 3.
>At around 6 am on August 2, Leutnant Albert Mayer and his small cavalry patrol illegally crossed the French border. They did not meet resistance, as the French had moved their troops back 10 kilometres (6.2 mi) from the border, to avoid provoking the Germans and to show good faith in their attempts to avoid war.
>At 9:50 am Mayer slashed with his sabre at (but did not injure) a French sentry, who was on lookout at the entrance to Joncherey. Jules Andre Peugeot and four other soldiers were at their billet eating breakfast at the time. The daughter of the owner of the house came back inside from fetching water and reportedly said "The Prussians! The Prussians are coming!"[1]
>Around 10:00 am, Peugeot and his four comrades went to arrest the Germans. Upon meeting Mayer, he fired three shots at Peugeot. One hit his shoulder and Peugeot fired back as he was falling. Peugeot's comrades opened up on the patrol with pistols. Mayer was shot in the stomach but seconds later was killed by a shot to the head.
>Peugeot stumbled back to the billet house where he died at 10:37 am.[2] Three more Germans were injured and one managed to escape for a few days by hiding in the woods but was eventually captured. One of the German soldiers was never seen again and two escaped to Germany.[3]
Tl;dr: A German cavalry patrol went full retard and tried to single-handedly invade France before the war was even declared
>>427199
How do you go missing in a French town?
>>427218
Did you even read?
>Three more Germans were injured and one managed to escape for a few days by hiding in the woods but was eventually captured. One of the German soldiers was never seen again and two escaped to Germany.[3]
The surviving Germans were on horse, they easily fled from the French soldiers who were on foot
They fled to the forest, one of them was captured some days later, two made it to Germany, and one was neither captured by the French nor seen again in Germany, thus "missing".
>>427135
I thought that too
>>427199
wow
>>430262
Yeah. Sieges sucked. Agincourt would have been an even fight if Henry V hadn't lost like a third of his men to disease sieging a coastal town first.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_War
>>427170
It's the speed. Wars usually last more than half an hour.
>>426431
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War
>Summarizing the culls, ornithologist Dominic Serventy commented:
The machine-gunners' dreams of point blank fire into serried masses of Emus were soon dissipated. The Emu command had evidently ordered guerrilla tactics, and its unwieldy army soon split up into innumerable small units that made use of the military equipment uneconomic. A crestfallen field force therefore withdrew from the combat area after about a month.[11]
On 8 November, representatives in the Australian House of Representatives discussed the operation.[6] Following the negative coverage of the events in the local media,[12] which included claims that "only a few" emus had died,[4] Pearce withdrew the military personnel and the guns on 8 November.[4][6][13][14]
After the withdrawal, Major Meredith compared the emus to Zulus and commented on the striking maneuverability of the emus, even while badly wounded.
If we had a military division with the bullet-carrying capacity of these birds it would face any army in the world... They can face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks. They are like Zulus whom even dum-dum bullets could not stop.[15]
Second attempt
>Taking to the field on 13 November 1932, the military found a degree of success over the first two days, with approximately 40 emus killed. The third day, 15 November, proved to be far less successful, but by 2 December the guns were accounting for approximately 100 emus per week. Meredith was recalled on 10 December, and in his report he claimed 986 kills with 9,860 rounds, at a rate of exactly 10 rounds per confirmed kill. In addition, Meredith claimed 2,500 wounded birds had died as a result of the injuries that they had sustained.[2]
>>426475
>austrian army arrives at the town of karánsebes and sets up camp
>hussars go scout for ottoman army
>hussars can't find them but find a bunch of gypsies who offered to sell them some schnapps
>hussars start getting horrendously drunk and some advance infantry units find the hussars and demand that the hussars share the schnapps
>massive argument and soon the hussars in their drunken state start erecting fortifications around the barrels of schnapps.
>someone fires a shot and immediately it breaks into a fight
>fighting ensues and someone starts shouting that the Turks are here
>hussars gtfo
>panic sets in and the infantry flee back across the river to the main army and someone alerts them that the turks are coming
>austrian army is made up of more than 4 different ethnic groups who cannot understand each other
>things go from bad to worse as the officers trying to get control of the army are shouting "halt! halt!" in german, which sounds like "allah allah!" to those who don't understand
>cavalry starts running around and a corps commander orders artillery to fire upon them thinking it was ottoman cavalry
>sounds of battle now awaken the entire army of 100,000 men and in their panic immediately start fighting the imaginary enemy
>entire army manages to rout itself with everybody fighting eachother,
>holy roman emperor Joseph II gets pushed off his horse and into a creek
>ottomans turn up the next day and find 10,000 dead and wounded soldiers and take the town.
>>426431
Not a battle, but a good story about the Russian baltic fleets shenanigans in the Russo-Japanese war.
Pretty much anything the Italians were ever involved with.
>>426431
What's even better is the French commanding officer was General de Winter.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkish_Abductions
>>431009
There is no way the second one is real, right?
>>431415
It was a casemate over a bridge
Retarded Italians threw waves of men at it until France surrendered to Germany (and thus signed an armistice with Italy too)
I feel bad for the nine guys though
They stood for 10 days against thousands of enemies and still spent the rest of the war in captivity because the French army fucked up in the North against Germany
Imagine having fought this hard only to hear one day "It's over guys, we lost the war. Surrender now".
>>431338
There was a movie about operation Valkyrie
>>431472
Imagine being in the Ligne Maginot
>fortifications that took years and millions to be built
>everything set up in it to stop the german army
>they went around it and never even cared to attack it
>one day soldiers there were told that they had lost the war, without any of them having a chance to fight
>>431573
>Imagine being in the Ligne Maginot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSSBQWbF7R8
>>431586
>that doughboy feel
