Embarassing/weird/fucked up things from history and from people
For example "xy emperor liked to fuck dogs in the ass"
You get the idea
You have to remember that a lot of this stuff would be propaganda. Apparently Catherine from Russia fucked horses
>>367350
>reminder that this is what the french entered the first world war in
>>367373
Rasputin from Russia was hung like a horse.
>>367379
Cran is a powerful thing.
Also they didn't learn their lesson after the franco-prussian war some 43 years earlier.
>>367379
germans too
>>367404
Oh and Caligula supposedly nominated his horse Incitatus to be consul, but theres some dispute of that.
>>367350
For "weird" or "I wouldn't have thought that" stuff, there's the fact that modern gymnastics was founded by pic related during the Napoleonic Wars as a way to inspire patriotism in the German population and fight back against Napoleon via taking young men and training them to the peak of physical and moral prowess. So when you're watching some tiny girl do all kinds of spins and flips at the olympics, realize it wouldn't exist if not for an old German guy who wanted to liberate the Fatherland from the evil Corsican Despot.
In something funnier, Wilhelm Voigt pulling off the greatest heist ever in a manner so brazen that everyone, including Wilhelm. loved him and thought it was the funniest shit ever.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilhelm_Voigt
>>367350
John Harvey Kellogg an influential progenitor of veganism gave boys circumcisions without anesthetic, sewed their foreskins closed, and burn women's clittorrises with carbolic acid all because he had warped on sex and masturbation and thought it was immoral/wrong
>>367350
Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher, the Prussian general who faced off against Napoleon, thought he was pregnant with a baby elephant.
>>367813
Also Soviets troops played football with his skull during WW2
>crusader times
Muslims were fairly surprised to learn that Frankish knights didn't shave their groins.
>>367350
Max Stirner was a wittol.
T.E. Lawrence was once in love with a 14 year-old Arab boy 10 years his junior, and he was well known for being a masochist, and after the war would be whipped by a military colleague.
He also apparently made up the whole torture + rape scene in Dera'a in his book, don't know if it's true though.
>>369920
I thought some of that was just stuff from the movies. Didn't Lawrence's brother say he barely recognized his own brother from the movie's portrayal.
>>367414
He did, but he did it as a joke. He was effectively calling his senators that useless that his horse could do a better job
Mao never brushed his teeth.
Napoleon was in fact not shorter than average (for his time)
The whole Dirlewanger division during ww2 is pretty fucked up/weird
The Fourth Crusade never got to Jerusalem, and instead ended up besieging and pillaging Constantinople, severely weakening the Byzantine empire and leaving them vulnerable to the Ottoman conquest of 1453.
If the Battle of Karánsebes actually took place like on the /his/ memes is debatable, but amusing still.
In London in 1916, Harrods were selling a kit described as "A Welcome Present for Friends at the Front" containing cocaine, morphine, syringes and needles.
Scaphism. Persians would lock people in a drunk, force-feed them milk and honey until they got bad diarhea, have honey rubbed on his exposed skin to attract insects, and be left to float in a stagnant lake/pond. They would keep you fed so you didn't die from dehydration or malnourishment, while insects start living in your shit-soaked body.
The emperor Elagabalus would dress up as a woman and prostitute himself in taverns.
Police in Nigeria arrested a goat and accused it of armed robbery, believing it was a wizard who had transformed himself into a goat. In 2009.
The Versailles had very few toilets, so it was common for people to shit in corners and behind curtains, making the whole palace smell of shit.
Peter the Great of Russia hosted a "dwarf wedding", gathering up all the midgets he could find, dressed them up and made them have a wedding party while he and his friends watched with amusement as the dancing, drunken midgets.
Peter the Great was general very fascinated by dwarfism, and often used them as entertainment and for playing pranks on his guests.
Most gladiators were most likely vegeterians or vegans.
The Soviets attempted to impregnate women with chimpanzee or gorilla sperm in an attempt to make super-strong soldiers.
Nobody has ever liked the Jews.
>>370048
I've always wondered who would win in a battle between Peter's dwarves and Frederick's giants.
>>370016
Yes but I'm not talking from watching the movie. I'm talking actual facts. In the movie his homosexuality and masochism is lightly implied. He's shown to be a sadist in the movie but he wasn't one irl
>>370065
Just imagine cross breeding giants and dwarves to make a race of giant dwarves.
>>370078
>giant dwarves
normally sized people?
>>370048
>If the Battle of Karánsebes actually took place like on the /his/ memes is debatable
>debatable
There's literally zero proof it occurred. Even the Turks have no record of stumbling upon such a battlefield, and the first record of it was written 40 years after it supposedly happened.
How gullible are people?
Hitler and his mother/grandma was a jew
>>367970
Its fucking cold in europe senpai
>>370830
The rumours started because Hitler's father Alois was a bastard, and a guy named Hiedler was added later to the church books as the father. The story was that Adolf's grandmother got pregnant while working in a jewish household but there is no evidence of that happening.
Maria Schicklgruber was 42 year old, unmarried and living with her father when she had Alois.
Alois was 51 when Adolf was born, and had to get a special permission to marry Adolf's mother Klara because of close blood relation. Klara kept calling Alois "uncle" even after them getting married. What is it with Austrians and incest?
>>371148
Ian Kershaw has thoroughly debunked this myth in his Hitler biography.
https://www.nytimes.com/books/first/k/kershaw-hitler.html
Hitler was a vegetarian
>>371237
Heh. I probably should make one of those "atheism killed 40 000 000 people" thingies but with veganism for the funs
Jesus was a leprechaun.
Abraham Lincoln possibly was gay he shared a bed with a union general
>>373639
>Abraham Lincoln possibly was gay he shared a bed with a union general
The Secret History of the Mongols literally tells us how Genghis Khan used to "share blankets" with his blood brother Jamukha. Whether that was a euphemism for butt stuff has been somewhat debated since that time.
>>367970
w-why did muslims see their enemies' naked groins?
>>373710
FRANKED
>>370048
>The Versailles had very few toilets, so it was common for people to shit in corners and behind curtains, making the whole palace smell of shit.
DESIGNATED
![1200[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/2i41M5Z.jpg "1200[1].jpg")
>>370048
>The Fourth Crusade never got to Jerusalem, and instead ended up besieging and pillaging Constantinople, severely weakening the Byzantine empire and leaving them vulnerable to the Ottoman conquest of 1453.
This something that always have baffled me since I first heard it. How can one thing possibly go so wrong. It's like in that satire paper about WW1 where the Ottomans almost declared war on itself, but the madmen actual did it, and it's real.
>>370048
>The Soviets attempted to impregnate women with chimpanzee or gorilla sperm
This explains the look of modern Russians.
>>373746
>How can one thing possibly go so wrong.
Well hey man, you try and get ten thousand men together and march them from Venice to Jerusalem. Bet you can't do it without sacking a few cities that didn't deserve it.
>>373760
And why they're always squatting.
>>370079
No, dwarfs have very noticeable differences from normal people in proportions (like arms too short to be able to wipe their ass. They actually use a sort of stick thing they put toilet paper on to get around that). It would be pretty comical to see those proportions in someone 7 feet tall.
>>367803
There is actually the iconic film "der Hauptmann von Köpenick" in Germany that tells his story. I once actually met an officer of the german army who was named Köpenick.
>>367404
>Crecy
>Poitiers
>Agincourt
If there's one thing the French don't do, it's learn lessons.
>>370048
>Dirlewanger division
You know you're fucked up when wherever you went the Wehrmacht and other Waffen-SS unit commanders would do all in their power to get your asses out of their area.
After Stalingrad Hitler spent months in hiding, leaving the Wehrmacht High Command alone to their own devices. In the Southern Front Manstein had more or less negated what happened at Stalingrad by destroying over 50 divisions of Soviets at Kharkov and was developing a series of tactical withdrawals to tighten the lines up and lure the Soviets into encirclements.
Hitler's confidence came back when he saw the success, told Manstein his backhand attacks were unbecoming of the army and ordered a total offensive at Kursk.
>>373710
2lewd4me
>>376100
Do you think if Hitler had been competent strategically he would have had a chance in WW2?
Prior to WW2, the nazis tried to spy on the British by facing a horoscope into the sky, because they believed earth was in fact a massive hollow sphere and that all the countries was on the inside of this sphere. Needless to say it didn't work.
>>376118
Only if they maintained the pact with the Soviets and broke the English first, rather then jump at the first chance they had at attacking the USSR.
The bulk of the Heer could have been deployed along the eastern frontier as a warning to the Soviets not to attack while the Luftwaffe and the Kreigsmarine laid siege to the island. Manufacturing could have pumped out planes and u-boats if they weren't so focused on the land war in Russia.
If Hitler was really smart, he would have been sending built or partially constructed u-boats overland to Italian ports and negate the Straight of Gibraltar gauntlet entirely and break Malta to give the Afrika Korps their secured supply lines
>>376158
fagermany and methitler had no chance to win ww2 only in made up scenarios where they get unlimited supply
Now get the fuck out of my thread naziboo
>>376191
I never suggested they would win, commieboo. The only good outcome for the Nazis would be to break the English (which wasn't their war aim at the get go) and go into a Cold War against the Soviets.
What is it with Commieboos and not knowing how to fucking read.
>>376207
Break the english?
They couldnt
>>375954
Look up Patay.
>>376191
Not really, they could have won by taking Moscow in 41.
>>376225
>>376191
>>376158
All of you are wrong
Hitler could have been the same as OTL, he just would have to unmake one silly decision
During October 1941, General Oberst Heinz Guderian was ordered to attack the Kiev Pocket instead of going for Moscow early. If he had drove directly for Moscow he would have overcame the meager defences and encircled around Tula and could have eliminated all road and rail links to the city until a few army corps arrived to finish the job by taking the city.
The fall of Moscow would have happened because the Soviet Units around it were 2nd rate and didn't have the artillery capability to defend against a large attack until their reinforcement in December 1941.
The loss of Moscow would have meant a general breaking down of supply lines around the entire region and overall break of communication and logistics.
Moscow was THE rail and telegraph hub of the entire area and without there would be no way manage or supply the forces there. The Soviets would have had to move their capital to Novibirsk.
However it's entirely plausible Stalin could have died or been captured in Moscow, and it's entirely possible Beria would have used the loss of the Capital to seize power anyway. Eventually the Soviet Army's total disorganization would be compounded with the moral loss of losing Moscow, Kiev and eventually Leningrad. The Soviet Red Army would have broke as a cohesive fighting force and would have retreated behind the Urals.
This would have happened sometime around Mid 1942, and would have given Hitler the ability to turn all of his industrial ability and forces against the UK and potentially win the war. I'd also argue declaring war on the US was a bad idea on the part of hitler that lost him the war too.
>>367970
Muslims shaved their pubes but not their faces? Are they that backwards?
>>376265
Let's explore what would have happened if Hitler had turned on Moscow instead of Kiev in 1941. First, yes, the Germans most likely would have taken Moscow. Staling and the government though would have evacuated east. Also the Kiev forces (which were giving Army Group South lots of issues) would have remained more or less intact. They, along with the Siberian reinforcements would have been able to counter attack at Moscow much like they did at Stalingrad a year later. It still wouldn't have mattered for the Germans. It would have maybe made the war take another year or so (US would have had the bomb by then and used it on Berlin), but Germany would still have lost.
Read some books by David Glantz. Once Germany declared war on the Soviets, they lose. The only way they could have one would have been go in as true liberators and turn the populace against Stalin and the regime and cause a rising/deterioration of the armed forces that way. But well, we all saw what they did to the populace instead with the SS and such.
Also, 1941 was the only time the Germans could have successfully attacked Russia. Had they waited until 1942, the Russian army/tank reorganization/training would have been done. Plus, if a small number of T34's caused problems in 1941, what would every division having them in 1942 have caused? Germany didn't develop heavier tanks (Panther/Tiger) until after seeing a need in the 1941 battles.
>>376295
>Staling and the government though would have evacuated east.
We don't know that, it's a possibility. The evacuation could fail, or Guderian could have seized the escape links out of the city prior before they could have departed. This is completely plausible as it happened to many Polish General Staff and Officers too. They misunderestimated the speed of the mobile divisions.
Regardless of the flight, the massive amounts of information couldn't be secured, and neither could all of the supplies and materials within Moscow itself be secured.
The Forces at Kiev would have either broke by Winter or broke when they hear the news of the fall of Moscow.
There is no strong route between siberia and Moscow, this would be a logistic and supply nightmare and it would end up easily repelled as the Soviets would be at disadvantage on land and in the sky.
Moral would be almost non existent and more Russians would flee like Vlassov.
There are better resources than David Glantz, who jerk their 2 inchers to soviet power fantasies. The Germans had even more men during the time period, even if the population was against them, if the Soviets had no ability to supply or organize their large mess of troops, they would have no ability to win battles or even hold the line against the Germans.
Germany could have easily won the war against the UK in the time after the loss of the Soviets. One solid year of production of landing craft and perhaps Graft Zeppelin would open the road for an invasion of the UK (If the Germans didn't declare war on the Americans)
The Germans could have had victory by using chemical warfare too.
>>373639
It was quite normal to share a bed at an Inn back then. There's some funny stories involving this were men bitch about personal hygiene and shit like that.
>>373746
Merchants.
Venice offered to pay for the expedition (and by paying, I mean hiring the crews and dealing with the logistic, not just landing money).
They then "blackmailed" the Templars with the debt, asking for military operations against rivals as payment.
>>367379
My great grandpa was in the cuirasiers. They were used for the first year of the war, IIRC, as reconnaissance troops, but they would also just charge, sword drawn.
Usually ended up as a massacre, they would quickly get mowed down by machine gun fire. Charge of the Light Brigade kind of shit. Great Grandpa was wounded six times, lost a lot of his friends, ended up having his horse shot down under him. It fell on him, shattered both of his legs. Never walked properly ever again, but he survived.
Lyndon Johnson liked to show off his massive cock while in the restroom with other senators as a form of intimidation.
Is it true the up until the beginning of WW! armies had females horses with them whereever they marched, and that the soldiers fucked said horses?
All the flags that were left on the moon have since turned completely white.
The Japanese bombed the fuck out of a sacred mountain in Korea because it sat on a "dragon line".
It was believed that they killed the spirit of Korea like this. During WWII they tried to find the dragon line of China too.
Spacecraft are currently unable to block a lot of radiation and the only reason why the moon missions were succesful is due to the earths magnetic field and the short duration of the missions.
>>376751
Da fuck? Your skin can block alpha radiation. Your clothes can block beta radiation.
>>376764
>hurr what is left
Gamma radiation you idiot, space is full of it
>>376764
A lot of deadly radiation was what I was implying. Space is highly damaging to DNA structure
>>376764
>da fuck
Get out
>>367350
I believe that at one point during the rule of Sultan Ibrahim I of Turkey, a group of men were appointed, by him, to find the fattest woman in the land for his harem.
Needless to say, he slaked his thirst when they found a 350 pounder nicknamed sugar cube.
I guess "high test" a few hundred years ago was a bit more overboard.
Fagermany couldnt win just accept it naziboos
>>373710
I'm going to go off on a limb here and say that when loot was available on a corpose, you fucking looted everything
>>376821
>sugar cube
kek
>>377081
Fuck, that first sentence should've had a > in front of it
>>376751
That's more because it is extremely expensive to launch spacecraft with heavy, proper shielding. And there have been proposals for magnetic shielding for manned interplanetary ships.
>>373746
>Venice says they'll provide the Crusaders with ships to travel to the Holy Land in
>Crusaders reach Venice, Doge asks them to pay up to cover the costs
>Crusaders say they don't have any money, so the Doge gives them a plan to pay for the transport
>the Crusaders will sail to the Byzantine Empire and place one of their claimants on the throne of the Empire, the new Emperor will then thank them by paying for their transportation
>Crusaders reach Byzantium and successfully places the claimant on the throne
>the new Emperor then gets assassinated a few days later before he can repay them
>the new new Emperor won't pay the Crusaders
>the Pope finds out what the Crusaders had done, he excommunicates every single one of the Crusaders
>the Crusaders are just fed up with the bullshit at this point, so they sack Constantinople
>>367379
The Belgians went into battle wearing top hats.
>>375954
>Castillon
Litterally a reverse Agincourt.
>>373710
Because the Franks were curious about the bathhouses in the Muslim cities they conquered.
>>378473
They were excommunicated for the sack of the town of Zara, just accross the Adiatic.
Rivals to Venice, and the first "arrangement" between the Venetians and the Templars, before sailing south to Constantinople.
>>373741
SHITTING
>>381081
PALACE
>>376579
He was /b/ the president.
>>373677
>That photography is 101 years old.
>>377084
How do you even build something do block off gamma rays?
One of our Swedish kings thought coffee was poison, and wouldn't budge. He brought in a murderer to drink coffee untill he died from poison. He died after fifty years of drinking coffee daily, and outlived the king.
>>367970
Arabs still have a long tradition of being hygienic as fuck. My friend is a pilot in the UAE, and, well.. He looks good to me, but apparently feels awkward as fuck with an arab pilot due to how well groomed the arab was.
>>376294
fresh shade desu senpai
>>381124
1 decimetre of lead is enough
>>367350
In Slovenia, in the region of Inner Carniola, is a village called Predjama (I don't know how to literally translate this - pred means before and jama is cave). The village gets its name from standing just around a small hill from a cave. In front of the cave stands a castle (Predjamski grad - "the castle in front of the cave").
The castle was at one point in the 15th century inhabited by a guy called Erazem Predjamski who is the subject of a famous Slovene legend. Erazem was a knight who came in conflict with the emperor. He fled Vienna and came back to his castle, with the emperor's army behind him. They kept the castle under siege for one year and one day. When their leader called for Erazem, thinking he was on the brink of starvation, Erazem came up on the wall eating fruit - he received supplies through a hidden tunnel. The army bribed his servant who pointed out the weakest point in the castle, the toilet, and told them when Erazem would use it. So they killed him with a catapult.
Pic related: the castle today (it didn't look like this in the 15th century - it stood deeper in the cave and it was obviously smaller).
>>370048
the versailles one is a myth. People who lived at Versailles had chamber stools, chamber pots, and for a select few flushing toilets. Visitors had access to (enclosed) public latrines, one inside the palace and one on the grounds.
The king of France Phillip the Fair getting his three sons keked contributed to the extinction of the main line of the Capet dynsaty, which ruled France over 400 years and finally led to the HYW.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tour_de_Nesle_Affair
>>376322
yeah, but what happened once America has a couple of A-Bombs?
There is no way they could have won
>>378473
>Doge asks them to pay up to cover the costs
>>381485
>>381156
I just love those moments in war where something absolutely silly happens.
>>381496
I bet that crossbowman is Costanza's ancestor.
>>381496
tell me about venezian infantrymen. why do they wear the mask?
>>367803
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilhelm_Voigt
>he signed it with his former jail director's name
The absolute MADMAN
>>373720
>>376100
Do you have any sources for this? It sounds massive and I want to learn more
In 1637 King Charles I of England was also the ruler of Wales, Ireland, and Scotland. A devout Anglican, Charles I wanted his entire kingdom to conform to what he believed was the correct and only way to properly worship God. Remember that during this time there was not such things as freedom of religion. You worshiped how the kind told you to, or else…
One of his most controversial methods of enforcing his religious will on the kingdom was the printing of a new official Church of England prayer book. Everyone had to use the book, no matter what religion you followed. The new prayer books caused a stir all over Britain, but no more so than in Scotland, home of the proud puritanical Presbyterians.
The hot-blooded Scots were enraged by the new prayer books. Being Presbyterians, the Scots preferred their worship services to be simple and free of flourish. To them the books were too fancy, vain, and smacked of Catholicism. On July 23rd 1637 the new books were introduced to Scotland, and the country was incensed. In Edinburgh the Bishop was pelted with rotten vegetables, manure, and prayer books. He was beaten up and his carriage was turned over and set on fire.
In the small town of Brichen, the local Presbyter came prepared. Bishop Walter Whitford started the morning service by announcing that the service would be conducted with new Church of England prayer books. Predictably the congregation was enraged, loudly protesting the introduction of the new books. When the churchgoers started getting too rowdy, Whitford unexpectedly produced a brace of pistols and aimed them toward the pews. His family and servants also produced arms and covered the congregation. The doors of the church were locked and Presbyter Whitford continued the morning service with pistols in hand and the Scots were forced to worship at gunpoint.
>German submarine U-1206
On 14 April 1945, 24 days before the end of World War II, while U-1206 was cruising at a depth of 200 feet (61 m), 8 nautical miles (15 km; 9.2 mi) off Peterhead, Scotland, misuse of the new toilet caused large amounts of water to flood the boat.[5] According to the Commander's official report, while in the engine room helping to repair one of the diesel engines, he was informed that a malfunction involving the toilet caused a leak in the forward section. The leak flooded the submarine's batteries (located beneath the toilet) causing them to release chlorine gas, leaving him with no alternative but to surface.[5] Once surfaced, U-1206 was discovered and bombed by British patrols, forcing Schlitt to scuttle the submarine. One man died in the attack, three men drowned in the heavy seas after abandoning the vessel and 46 were captured.[6] Schlitt recorded the location as 57°24′N 01°37′W but the wreck could not be located.
During survey work for the BP Forties Field oil pipeline to Cruden Bay in the mid 1970s, the remains of U-1206 were found at 57°21′N 01°39′W in approximately 70 m (230 ft) of water. The site survey performed by RCAHMS suggests that the leak that forced U-1206 to surface may have occurred after running into a pre-existing wreck located at the same site.[7]
A large number of sources attribute this incident to U-120.[8]
>>367382
It was an actual horse dong
Russian history is a lie
>>376294
I remember reading an andalusi reporting how he met some "franks" in the Spanish March. He tells that catalans are the more rude among the franks and, when he asked them why they shaved their beards, they awnsered something like "You muslims shave your asses, why the fuck you don't shave your faces?"
Sadly that was when I was at college centuries ago.
>>381481
>yeah, but what happened once America
Ami's wern't in the war until December. Hitler doesn't need to DOW the USA in everytimeline.
>>367379
Fucking cosplayers...
Napoleon loved pussy stank and asked his wife not to wash it during his campaigns for when he came back home
>>367803
The fucking Hauptmann von Köpenick, really, an absolute madman!
Willy I proudly commented the incident with the words, that in no other people in the world this heist could have been pulled of.
>>376658
Fuck you these colors don't run USA USA USA!
>>378517
And with dogs as draught animals!
>>376265
>During October 1941, General Oberst Heinz Guderian was ordered to attack the Kiev Pocket instead of going for Moscow early. If he had drove directly for Moscow he would have overcame the meager defences and encircled around Tula and could have eliminated all road and rail links to the city until a few army corps arrived to finish the job by taking the city.
...Leaving huge pockets of enemy formations at his rear, leaving his supply lines vulnerable, supplies which are critical for an armoured formation.
No dice. Kiev and Tula delayed the Germans enough for Moscow to prepare.
>>376265
You people should really stop looking at what was factually happening and more at what information was available to decision makers
You'll find out that these people made logical decision, even if they turned out to be wrong
>>367379
But horses and cavalry were actually incredibly important during the first world war.
When the Bavarian army was in need for great amounts of saltpeter for gunpower during a war (it was the Thirty Years' War, I think), they commissioned people to forcibly extract saltpeter from the rural settlements. These people would tear open the floors and walls of the locals' houses and take the saltpeter that has formed in them through a reaction of limestone with human or animal excrements. The highly religious Bavarians obviously complained and demanded that at least their shrines and churches shall not be subjected to such acts of destruction. They managed to get their way and it was decided that the army shall not be allowed to desecrate rooms in which a crucifix is displayed.
Shortly after the law was passed, however, the majority of the Bavarian population simply started hanging up crucifixes in every room of their houses and thus effectively cockblocked the entire army. And even today, most traditional Bavarian houses have crucifixes hung up in their rooms.
>>382904
He just said once "I am coming back, stop washing" to Josephine.
So I suppose it was not every time he went campaigning. Also, he said that to her just before departing, so she did not wash during 3 days max. I'm sure some of you are way dirtier.
>>369920
What exactly do you mean by made up? That he enjoyed it or he never was raped/fucked to begin with?
In Seven Pillars of Wisdom, it's doubtful that how he was raped went exactly as he told it, but his biographers and historians agree that something similar to what he described DID happen. The most likely case is that he either didn't fight back like he described in Seven Pillars of Wisdom, or that he secretly enjoyed it given his masochistic tendencies.
What is for sure -- given all the evidence which is only missing his self-admission -- is that T.E. Lawerence did have homosexual feelings.
>>367350
One source implies that Alfred the Great masturbated too much as a young man.
>>385905
Not only that, but that he prayed to the Lord that he be stricken with some illness that prevented him from acting on his lust.
Then he got hemorrhoids.
A dog travelled further into the reaches of the cosmos than 99% of living humans.
>>373710
This was in the Kingdom of Jerusalem.
The Crusaders actually didn't really mistreat their Muslim subjects after the war, because they feared a rebellion. So Muslims and Christians often went to the same bath-houses.
There was one Arab Muslim barber who specialized in shaving women's bodies. It was the trend for rich women to shave everything below the neck in medieval Arabia, and a lot of Christians asked him to shave their wives.
>>376191
Its funny because if it werent for the ammount of almost unlimited American suplies they received, the commies would have been wiped out by early 1944.
Get fucked leftard
>>386230
>being against the nazis is now considered a controversial stance
wew lad
Elagabalus
roman emperor in the 3rd century
became emperor at age 14
dressed up as a woman
got fucked my men
google it
>>367414
that was Caligula doing political satire, he was implying a horse could do a better job than the other candidates
>>367350
There was a guy in 1910 who had his mates put on black-face and pose as Abyssinian royals and actually managed to get a tour of the HMS dreadnought.
Ghandi insisted that many naked girls sleep with him, but only because he insisted on not having sex with them.
>>386362
Burma Shave
>>367807
>gave boys circumcisions without anesthetic, sewed their foreskins closed, and burn women's clittorrises with carbolic acid
he personally did these operations?
>>384694
Apparently they say he made it up, which I don't believe, because he talked about the event in private letters to friends as well. I don't think he was so crazy as to make something like that up and tell his friends about it.
And I agree, he definitely had homosexual feelings. Whether he ever acted on them is another matter.
This is a very interesting thread. Please continue anons.
>>370048
>believing the 'Elagabalus was a trap' meme
During the 50's the White House was in such poor shape that it was completely gutted and rebuilt from the inside out. Some say Truman used this reconstruction as a screen to steal the building's original cornerstone, which currently resides in the Masonic temple in DC.
>>386877
He apparently preformed a few and advocated for widespread practice. Similar practices were also employed in his sanitorium.
(Although I don't like it as a source)
From Wikipedia.
"A remedy which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision, especially when there is any degree of phimosis. The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment, as it may well be in some cases. The soreness which continues for several weeks interrupts the practice, and if it had not previously become too firmly fixed, it may be forgotten and not resumed
further
“ a method of treatment [to prevent masturbation] ... and we have employed it with entire satisfaction. It consists in the application of one or more silver sutures in such a way as to prevent erection. The prepuce, or foreskin, is drawn forward over the glans, and the needle to which the wire is attached is passed through from one side to the other. After drawing the wire through, the ends are twisted together, and cut off close. It is now impossible for an erection to occur, and the slight irritation thus produced acts as a most powerful means of overcoming the disposition to resort to the practice ”
>>386877
His treatment for women:
“ In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid (phenol) to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement. ”
He also recommended, to prevent children from this "solitary vice", bandaging or tying their hands, covering their genitals with patented cages and electrical shock.[8]
In his Ladies' Guide in Health and Disease, for nymphomania, he recommended
“ Cool sitz baths; the cool enema; a spare diet; the application of blisters and other irritants to the sensitive parts of the sexual organs, the removal of the clitoris and nymphae... ”
Kellogg thought that masturbation was the worst evil one could commit; he often referred to it as "self-abuse". He was a leader of the anti-masturbation movement, and promoted extreme measures to prevent masturbation.[24][25][26] In addition, Kellogg thought that diet played a huge role in masturbation and that a bland diet would decrease excitability and prevent masturbation. Thus, Kellogg invented Corn Flakes breakfast cereal in 1878. He hoped that feeding children this plain cereal every morning would help to combat the urges of "self-abuse".[27][28][29]
>>376100
i want a source for this
>>386877
It seems he also rarely ever had sex with his wife.
>>376518
>>382976
>During
Try before. Everyone learned their lessons pretty quickly. Once they trenches were dug and the lines drawn, horses were hardly good for sending letters around.
On 16 March 1914 Henriette Caillaux shot Gaston Calmette because he had published a letter that damaged her husband's political career, and feared that more such letters would be published. After shooting him 6 times she just waited for the police to arrive, and insisted on her chauffeur taking her to the police station which was allowed.
She was acquitted on 28 July 1914 after her lawyer successfully argued in her trial that because she was a woman she was mainly just driven by her emotions instead of any logical reasoning, so the act could not have been a planned murder.
>>388027
Someone had blundered
>>388123
Holy shit
>>385918
Hemorrhoids didn't stop me.
![e671f61576804ebccd5b388f12619ac5[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/z4j6zPK.jpg "e671f61576804ebccd5b388f12619ac5[1].jpg")
>>376518
>as reconnaissance troops
excelent idea by france, if there's something heavy clunky armored men in heavy horses can do properly is reconnaissance
but from what i've know cavalry "adapted" quickly since they found out pretty fast they couldn't beat machine guns, no matter how fast, armored or spreaded out they were...
a shame how the warfare changed though...
>>370065
to make a giant you would need 4~5 dwarfs to make it balance in terms of combined size
so the dwarfs would win easily since they had more hands and also they're blessed by the power of christ to invent new shenanigans
>>373760
>>370048
i don't think the ape part was ever put in pratice... but the idea was there though
i've heard rumors on both sides at the time than they forced captive women to do that but so far no one was ever able to definitely prove it
>>370048
>In London in 1916, Harrods were selling a kit described as "A Welcome Present for Friends at the Front" containing cocaine, morphine, syringes and needles.
>not part of our culture
>like alcohol
>>388562
>In the 1920s, Ivanov carried out a series of experiments to create a human/nonhuman ape hybrid. Working with human sperm and female chimpanzees, he failed to create a pregnancy.[10] In 1929 he organized a set of experiments involving nonhuman ape sperm and human volunteers, but was delayed by the death of his last orangutan.[10] The next year he fell under political criticism from the Soviet government and was sentenced to exile in the Kazakh SSR; he worked there at the Kazakh Veterinary-Zootechnical Institute and died of a stroke two years later.
Test
Jesus once chased degenerates out of a house of God with nothing but a belt
A castrato is a type of male signer who is castrated in childhood in order for their voices to remain young sounding
In viking culture if you grew your hair long it was a symbol that you were a free man
Hitler once met an alien
There was once a type of lion native to Europe
Ironically, Britain created Pakistan in the first place
>>388792
so, fucking apes to keep "mankind" alive after the end of days is out of the question?
>>367807
>tfw you will never brutally murder John Harvey Kellogg
>>376265
I wonder how Hitler would have managed the occupation of USSR territories after Stalin had been deposed and the acting commander had surrendered?
>>376295
Read Deathride: Hitler vs Stalin
and eat a cock while you're at it
>>376518
You should be very proud. My great Grampy served in WW1 too, except he was on the British team.
>>388038
>Durr all of WW1 was trenches and guns
How to spot someone who's never learned history after middle school
>>376086
>>370048
>Thanks to Mathias Schenck from Belgium, many previously unknown episodes of the carnage have been revealed. The brutal murder of 500 small children was committed by Dirlewanger during the 1944 Wola massacre. Schenck testified,
>"After the door of the building was blown off we saw a daycare-full of small children, around 500; all with small hands in the air. Even Dirlewanger's own people called him a butcher; he ordered to kill them all. The shots were fired, but he requested his men to save the ammo and finish them off by rifle-butts and bayonets. Blood and brain matter flowed in streams down the stairs."
>Schenck (a sapper serving in the Wehrmacht) testified seeing a Dirlewanger man raping a girl while wielding a knife, and then cutting her wide open along the entire length of her torso after ejaculation.
nigga
>>376294
If you can grow a beard well, why not grow it out? Also, shaving your pubes makes your pecker look bigger and prevents your stuff from getting sweaty/smelly
>>387131
The whole affair in Dera is really weird, the way he gets out by just walking out of the town. I can see how people would doubt it, but I think it was really one of those "you can't make this shit up" things that sometimes happen.
>Thus the earnest hope of the Japanese Government to adjust Japanese-American relations and to preserve and promote the peace of the Pacific through cooperation with the American Government has finally been lost.
>The Japanese Government regrets to have to notify hereby the American Government that in view of the attitude of the American Government it cannot but consider that it is impossible to reach an agreement through further negotiations.
That's the last part of the Japanese message that was supposed to be delivered to Secretary of State Cordell Hull minutes before the attack on Pearl Harbor. The Japanese diplomats had trouble decrypting it and had to re-type it multiple times for corrections and to make it formal enough, and delivered it around 2:30pm, an hour and a half late, after the attack was already underway.
US SIGINT intercepted and decrypted the message and delivered it to Hull faster than them, and Hull had already received reports of the attack before they showed up at his office. He had to pretend like he had no idea
>>390183
I keep hearing it is pretty much confirmed today that the US government knew about the attack but allowed it to happen. Thus why the carriers weren't at port (which were the main objective). Do you have any definitive sources to back that up?
>>377081
>I wish this meme would die.
>meme
I wish you would die.
>>388528
>implying even with a breastplate, they're still not significantly faster and more mobile than anything else around.
>>390396
>allowed it to happen
I've never seen anything concrete on this and as far as I can tell it's just counter-culture conspiracy junk. Europe had been at war for 2 years, Japan had been at war in China even longer, and the US just embargoed oil trade with Japan, so the relationship was obviously pretty hostile, but I've never seen a shred of evidence that would suggest they heard about it beforehand and let it happen.
This anecdote actually shows that, in that the US intercepted the DOW message but there was nothing much that could have been done about it. It's just a quirk of history that the Japanese officials with the official encryption struggled so much with it that they actually got theirs delivered after SIGINT did.
The conspiracy-style stuff about knowing more beforehand relies on hindsight, like the carriers being out of port, or the radar guy who might have been able to warn everyone. Pearl Harbor was basically the first time aircraft carriers had ever been used in warfare, so saying that the US intentionally had all of its carriers out to sea because it knew how important they would be is pretty much total bullshit.
The US was definitely all up in Japan's shit with spying before the war, though, and even inadvertently made Japan build more carriers of its own because the US rigged a Naval treaty that limited the number of capital ships Japan could have causing Japan to stop building a bunch of battleships which ended up converting them to carriers later on.
>>389839
Does this look like the face of a baby killer?
Yes it does.
>>390577
i was comparing them to light cavalry with horses meant to be rode for that purposes - not mechanized units
cuirassiers' horses were meant to be heavy, strong and resilient enough to pack the momentum needed for a successful charge, not for tracking and scouting
>>370048
>The Soviets attempted to impregnate women with chimpanzee or gorilla sperm in an attempt to make super-strong soldiers.
it was more likely an attempt destroy the credibility of creationism and religion then to make supersoldiers.
>>378517
Tbh they look swag as fuck.
>>370048
DESIGNATED SHITTING HALLWAYS
>>391564
Definitely looks like a sex offender
>>389499
>Jesus once chased degenerates out of a house of God with nothing but a belt
Money lenders weren't they?
>>390406
Then would you care to explain how come you believe the Crusaders had any intention of even going to Constantinople before their meeting with Alexios Angelos? Or of taking over the city before February 1204, when the man who deposed him refused to pay debts?
>>381140
A friend that works as a nurse in a private clinic in the UAE says the Arabs are filthy chums, even the rich fucks disregard basic hygiene.
>>376295
"Would have had the bomb"
You seem the forget the "bomb" was made by nazi scientists.
>>392933
Not the point. Stop using meme to describe everything you don't like, mongoloid. Fuck off and kill yourself. I'm not even the poster you're arguing with.
>>392954
Oh dear, need me to run to CVS and get some Preparation H for you? Maybe a Valium?
>>390396
The US knew that the Japanese "might" attack "somewhere" "sometime" which was why the carriers had gone to transport planes to Wake and Midway. Also one of those carriers was scheduled to return to Pearl before the attack but was delayed by bad weather. I guess that was part of the conspiracy too though :^)
>>381336
There are a couple of mentions of servants cleaning shit/piss from the floor. It was probably occasional, but if you were far from the nearest toilet or too desperate to hold it, the floor was a convenient place to go.
>>393040
Yes, dead serious son.
>>393100
>the bomb was made by nazi scientists
>nuclear fission was discovered by German scientists who were not nazis
>no nazi scientists ever made or were close to making the bomb
glad to know you weren't actually serious
>>393124
What are you, a commie or something?
>>393131
I just want to play samba music, leave me alone
>>391564
He kind of looks like my high school maths teacher.
>>367350
Tiberius would swim in pools and little boys would swim up to him and lick his genitals.
James Joyce had a fart fetish
>>396263
literaly no one knows who he is
>>396271
>no one on an English language image board knows about one of the most eminent prose writers in the world's most eminent language
Everyone who didn't grow up in a one-outhouse Balkan slum read at least Joyce's short stories in high school English class. He's easily in the top hundred most widely recognized authors of modernity.
>>378473
The Venetians actually had nothing to do with it.
The last thing they wanted was their army to be dicking around in Greece, they wanted Alexandria.
The "Venetians were scheming Jews" thing is a Medieval conspiracy theory. They had no motivation at all to sack Constantinople.
It was entirely on the shouders of the Crusaders and the dumbass Alexios who thought the Crusading army would be more than happy to just put him on the throne with no real reward.
It was basically a giant chimpout. The Venetians had nothing to do with it and were most likely pissed off at losing their chance to take Alexandria.
>>381140
Allegedly, Polish capital was moved from Cracow to Warsaw because Sigismund Vasa burned down a part of Wawel during alchemical experiments.
For a long time, tomatoes were considered to be a very potent aphrodisiac.
Fashion was also a really srs business: Austrian empress Elizabeth, also known as Sissi, was pretty randomly killed by an anarchist, who stabbed her with a sharpened file. People who rushed to help her failed to notice the wound, because it was all soaked up by the tightly laced corset she wore underneathe her daily attire. Similarly, it is speculated that archduke Ferdinand died because they failed to get him out of the uniform he was literally sewed in before he bled to death.
And this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harden%E2%80%93Eulenburg_affair
>Briefly, in November 1908, Wilhelm II began a vacation at an aristocrat's estate in the Black Forest. One evening after dinner, chief of the Military Secretariat Dietrich von Hülsen-Haeseler was performing a pas seul dressed in a woman's ballet tutu when his heart failed and he died.
>Ottokar von Czernin, also in attendance, remarked, "In Wilhelm II, I saw a man who, for the first time in his life, with horror-stricken eyes, looked upon the world as it really was."
After the operation Valkyrie Hitler allegedly had some conspirators hanged on a piano wire.
![Virginia_Woolf_in_Dreadnought_Hoax[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/tUerKwz.jpg "Virginia_Woolf_in_Dreadnought_Hoax[1].jpg")
>>386599
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunga_bunga
>>367379
Cavalry could still be used effectively as late as the Polish-Bolshevik War.
>>378710
Why would they be curious about Islamic bathhouses? They had plenty of bath houses back home.
>>381140
>Arabs still have a long tradition of being hygienic as fuck
Compared to whom?
Detroit race riots and the days of rage were sponsored by the dgi, cuban kgb wing.
>>376322
>misunderestimated
>>396472
The soviets used cavalry throughout WWII.
>>391564
Sometimes you just got that baby killing face you know?
Feel genuinely bad for people who live through life with it but aren't bad people.
>>396596
The only people I know of who are as clean as Arabs are the Japanese
>>396838
uh no lol
>Iraq fairly recently
>the stench of dead animals at my former job was literally preferable to catching a whiff of live Iraqis
>>396854
Smell of foods don't indicate hygiene.
Iraq isn't exactly the best example to choose from, in those levels of instability one doesn't think to prioritize hygiene.
>>382373
Fucking Anglicans. They'd be good Protestants if they weren't busy sucking the royal cock.
>>370048
>Police in Nigeria arrested a goat and accused it of armed robbery, believing it was a wizard who had transformed himself into a goat. In 2009.
what the hell did it steal
>>396271
>literaly no one knows who he is
Yall ignant
>>396308
>spend weeks sailing on the dangerous water-filled hellpit that is the sea
>enjoy dysentery along with the hundreds of your friends who died for a Greek boyfucker's claim to a disintegrating throne
>succeed
>he stalls for time until he gets deposed
>faggots on a Taiwanese fingerbox imageboard call the righteous conquest a "chimpout"
>>398266
>implying a member of la semiticissima internet defense force is just some faggot
napoleon did nothing wrong
>>381156
>Predjama (I don't know how to literally translate this - pred means before and jama is cave)
I'd venture "fore-cave."
>>398266
Going apeshit becausae you don't get what you want is the definition of a chimpout.
They should've cut their losses and left. It was their dumb fucking fault for trusting Alexios in the first place.
>>381156
heh i love stories like these
>>389600
I had three great grandfathers who served in WWI:
Paternal Great Grandfather No. 1:
> joined, fought without much incident, came home back to his farm and generally never talked about it
Paternal Great Grandfather No. 2:
> born to a German family in Alsace
> hated his family, left home at 17 and came to the US and joined the Army
> became an officer and served in Intelligence because he spoke perfect, unaccented German
> got shot by random stray bullet, hit by stray mustard gas round in a field hospital, evacuated to a French hospital near Paris
> hobbled out of the hospital after two months to get a drink at a bar down the street, got hit by an oxcart and spent another two months in the hospital with two broken legs
> lived to age 90, was arrested at age 65 for beating another driver with a tire tool after being rear-ended
Maternal Great Grandfather No. 1:
> also got gassed and shot on the same day, lost a lung and function in one arm
> came home and went fishing for the next 70 years
>>396436
>In 1910 Horace de Vere Cole, Virginia Woolf, her brother Adrian Stephen and a small group of friends, pretended to be the Prince of Abyssinia and his entourage. They obtained permission to visit one of the world's most powerful warships HMS Dreadnought in Weymouth, Dorset, in what became known as the Dreadnought hoax.
>Each time the Commander showed them a marvel of the ship, they murmured the phrase bunga, bunga
Jesus fuck my sides have transcended this world
>>367350
Rudolph Hess flew a plane to Britain to try and negotiate a peace. He told no one and his plane crashed and he was captured afterwards.
>>399153
Assuming they're all German?
I need to find out what the rest of my great grandads did, I only know about my Dad's dad's dad.
>>400100
Oh, no. They all fought for the Americans.
The second guy really didn't like Germans, though. He was really, really pissed that they had war crimes trials for Nazis after WWII. The way he figured it, if you killed everyone in the party, then you were sure to get all the war criminals. Of course, he was also heard repeatedly saying that we should have let the Russians just have all of Germany and basically rape the German right out of the German people. And he was ethnic German.
To be fair, while he was a decent man and a pillar of his community for the rest of his life, my great grandfather would and generally did fuck up anything and anyone who pissed him off. Like, if there was ever a man who could survive a bullet, mustard gas and a couple tons of ox cart on sheer meanness, he was that man.
>>388528
Isn't that breastplate from the battle of Waterloo?
>>400890
yes
>>400913
Bad.
Fucking.
Day.
>>373639
Penetration proclamation
>>367373
Supposedly she died while horsefucking because the harness she used to suspend the horse above her broke causing the horse to fall and crush her.
As you said though the horsefucking was almost certainly just propaganda made up by her enemies.
