>16 (SIXTEEN!) year old teenage girl defeats invading kingdom and saves her country
Jeanne is the most based woman in history, truly blessed by God
>she will never dom you
why live
>>366847
>truly blessed by God
Yet executed by the Catholic Church
>>366895
Cathoshits, not even once
>>366895
Wow, I didn't know that. She must have done some terrible crime
>cross dressing
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>366895
also made saint by the catholic church
> Implying Joanne of Arc actually existed
Just forget that whore
>>367016
That makes it all better.
She was a mad women and admitted it was all lies before her execution
>>367016
Sainthood means less than nothing, they murdered that poor girl
>>367037
The English used their perfidious ties and influence to convince some of the Church in England that they needed to execute a little girl who stopped them from ruling France*
>Joan did nothing wrong
>got burnt alive
history is cruel
>>367095
You know a lot of organisations that have existed for two millennia and included millions of members but none of those individuals were ever corrupt?
>>367090
>angevins
No such thing existed after John lackland
>>367143
Plantagenets then? What's the difference, they didn't become a different dynasty just because they lost Anjou.
>>367153
By the time Joan was burned, the days of the Angevin kings were long out of memory, so to called them 'angevin' would be anachronistic
>>367170
It's just a naming convention. It's all the same house that ruled England from 1154 to 1485. And they came from Anjou and started off as counts of Anjou.
>>366895
>>367037
"The Catholic Church" didn't kill her. Some Catholic officials who were bribed did. When Joan's mother asked the Pope to investigate the trial he did, and they rehabilitated her. And many Catholics believed in her despite the initial conviction and execution.
>>367036
She admitted it was lies under duress, and then recanted again before her execution.
GLORIFIED
>>367203
Yes I know that but they didn't actually possess anjou after Philip Augustus took it in the early 13th century. The only true Angevin kings were the ones who lived in Henry ii's era, basically him and his sons. They built and were a part of the Angevin empire. This empire was destroyed by Philip Augustus, and thus the plantagenets began to focus more on the British isles afterwards. That's why it's innacurate to call them 'angevin' after John lackland, since none of them were actually angevin
>>366847
She was just an overglorified cheerleader.
Angevin was never the dynastys name. It is just a derivative of anjou where the dynasty originated and the term was later used to refer to the royal union of england and anjou
>be english
>lose to a 16 year old girl
lol
>>367285
>>367253
GLORIFIED
Rumor has it that the English tried to find an English cheerleader, but they were all old and ugly, thus demoralizing the troops.
Joan of Arc is a myth. Women cannot lead armies or repel invaders. As if a bunch of 15th centuary men would listen to a fucking women advice. Boudiccea is the only real female warrior, and only because she was a psycho that believed in methods such as torture (cutting off women's breats and forcing them to eat them) and mass slaughter (locking the Romans inside their temples and burning them alive) people listened to her.
>>367473
>a women
Why do you fags always do this?
Actually, I'm starting to think you're always the same person shitting up every thread related to women in history
>>367485
Dur, because 15th centuary men wouldn't obey a fucking teenager, much less a women. Use your head, you know its bullshit. The Iceni only listened to Boudiccea because she was a Queen and because her total war tactics for a short time.
>>367496
>a women
Again with this.
Please explain, is English your first language even?
>>366895
I am still mad
>>367345
Who burnt her again?
>>367502
History is not a college campus. Regardless of what you or I believe about women, they have always been regarded as inferior to men, especially during the medievil period. I affirm that a women would not have gained the confidence of men without a royal ranking such as Queen, just like a frenchman could not have roused an englishme to fight for him during that period.
>>367345
hahaha
>b-but muh longbows
haha, you just can't make this shit up
>>367534
dude I don't care about that, it's just that everytime we have a thread related to women in history it always goes to shit because of people like you who say ''a women''
even a toddler would make the connection and see that you're all actually the same person
so again why do you do this? a spelling mistake or is there some deep fedora-ish reason?
because if it's the latter I wanna hear as it could be good screencap material
>>367539
...Because women have, as I said, been regarded as inferior? The only instances they haven't is when they were of a higher class or royalty. Like it or not, its reality. Screencap it then, I don't give a fuck. What are you going to do, post it on /r/srs and circlejerk revisionist history about how Livilla took over Rome herself without the influence of her son?
>>367554
So because they are inferior you're gonna make a grammar mistake and use the plural word for woman when you're referring to a single one?
This is my point dude, everytime we have a thread related to this shit it always goes to crap because of one faggot who always happens to say ''a women'' instead of ''a woman''.
And don't tell me you're all different people because I'm not gonna buy it, it'd be too much of a coincidence.
>>367554
>Joan accomplished nothing!
She spooked the Catholic Church enough to want to burn her. That's gotta count for something.
>>367562
Why are you fixated on grammar mistakes? I'm drunk, that's I'm making grammar mistakes. You're paranoid "dude" (if I can really call you that, you seem like another buttblasted women that found her way onto 4chan from following a link at some female sexuality forum).
>>367571
She is a myth. Complete renaissance romantic folklore. She was never burned, or if she was she was a victim of witch hunting.
>>367584
I'm not, I'm just trying to enstablish that it's always the same fucking person ruining these threads and thus making the quality of the board worse.
And claiming that whoever disagrees with you is ''a women'' is also another common thing you do.
So tell me, why do you wanna make /his/ worse?
>>367584
>History is wrong!
>I'm right!
>I alone know the truth!
>>367594
Oh shut up. "Worse" how? By not making it a "safe space"? Worse for you, not worse for anyone who actually gives a shit about history.
>>367595
Historians are wrong, meme histrorians who look too much into folklores anyway. Next you'll be telling me the Amazons were a real Ukrainian tribe who wrangled and raped men to reproduce and then killed them.
>>367624
>Every historian is wrong!
>I have secret knowledge unknown to anybody else!
>>367473
>>367485
>>367496
>>367502
This exchange has honestly made me laugh, thank you women troll.
>>367624
>have an interesting thread that is somewhat related to women
>HEY GUYS I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU THAT WOMEN SUCK AND IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME YOU'RE A BUTTMAD WOMEN
>thread goes to shit
It's always how it is with you, always.
If it was only a single episode then I wouldn't really care and I wouldn't even be here right now, but too many potentially good threads went to shit because of you.
Also my opinion on this current ''discussion'' is that whenever someone makes a bold claim such as a historical figure not actually existing, they're supposed to back it up with hard evidence and not suppositions.
That's how history works, you know.
One of Mark Twain's books, supposedly his best one, and actually well-researched into her life to avoid rumors or aggrandizements.
Would recommend 10/10 read. She just had to be a genius and a great leader naturally.
>>367584
Bullshit utter bullshit everything you have said is bullshit you are wrong and should feel bad about it you ignorant shit heel. Mc fucken kill your self and quit wasting my oxygen .
What if she was actually a boy, like how King Arthur was actually a girl?
>>367669
And what if he was also actually African?
>>367646
False. Have a thread about a nobody women teenage girl leading a fucking army full of bloodthristy men and yeah, I'll probably be sceptica. Have a thread about a women of note like Isabella of France or Boudicca or even fucking Agrippa and yeah, we'll talk. You speak like its just women I'm sceptical of, anything that sounds fuckin stupid and far fetech I'm, going to point out its bullshit, like the theory that Homer was a real person who invented massive epics in his lifetime or that Davy jones wandered the seven seas.
>>367681
Ok well like I said, you need hard evidence when you claim that a popular historical figure is actually not real.
Also you're trying to apply modern mentality to a society of the past, which is a huge mistake to do.
>>367681
Diff. anon here, and stfu, you troll. You might be actually that stupid, and in case that's true, and I will support that she is a well-known historical figure. You look up shit to try to denounce her existence.
>>367646
And you... I feel for you feeling that these threads are shitted up by the same guy(s), but that is not the way to deal with trolls. Just ridicule him non-emotionally.
>>367700
>non-emotionally
Eh I get what you're saying.
It's just that I wanted /his/ for YEARS and I don't want it to go to shit so I might act over-elitistic.
>>367681
We can talk about anything we damn want to faggot.
>>367557
The term is anachronistic you fucking dolt. The PLANTAGENETS WERE NO LONGER COUNTS OF ANJOU AFTER THEY LOST IT TO PHILIP AUGUSTUS AND THEREFORE NOT ANGEVINS DUMB FAGGOT
PS kill yourself
>>367473
>>367584
>myth
You realize two of her three trial transcripts are still extant, right?
>>368021
They still originated from Anjou and therefore were Angevins
I'm sure you have no problem with calling Normans vikings even though they no longer were by 1066
>>367232
Ttbqhmfam
>>367232
>"The Catholic Church" didn't kill her.
>Some Catholic officials did.
>>366847
DEUS VULT
>>366847
>most based woman in history
Catherine of Aragon
Gertrude Bell
Grace Hopper
Read a book, nigger.
>>367345
Better than poultry.
>>367539
>it always goes to shit because
People like you reply rather than report trolls.
I don't really understand Joan of Arc. Was she some kind of commander, an actual soldier, an autistic weirdo that accidentally became a cheerleader for france?
>>368070
Normans were NOT vikings. Holy shit. Are you like some meme machine?
>>368242
WE
>>368253
THE PEOPLE
>>368158
She was a girl who heard voices in her that she said was God. She got the rightful king of France to make her an unofficial commander of his army during a time of desperation. She was very headstrong and charismatic, so even though her position was unofficial, she still played a big role in leading the army. They went from losing almost every battle to turning the tide of the war.
People say she was just a "cheerleader", but at her trial, numerous people testified that she was a skilled tactician, especially with artillery. She also personally led some cavalry charges.
>>368158
She knew enough to convince people that she had God talking in her ears. She might have been crazy, but she was good enough when it came to time to actually do shit that people believed her.
>some petty "gurl power" barely pubescent French bitch single handedly ruins the legitimate English claim to the French monarchy because "les Francais ain't gonna be ruled by no rosbif King girlfriend mmmhmmm"
>gets captured because shes a fucking idiot and executed for being a horse's ass
>"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW IT TOOK A KANGAROO COURT TO KILL ME GIT GUD SCRUBS"
>modern day portrayals: "So brave. Muh Caitlyn Jeanner d'Arc. gap left by the Christian dark ages"
t. American
>>366895
The English rigged it.
It was just another grim portent of their future betrayal of the Church.
First Becket, then Joan, and finally Henry VIII.
They should have crusaded those Inbred Huns from day one.
>>368311
Don't forget Laudabiliter.
If I had a time machine, I would go back to rape her
>>368306
Autism: The Post
>>367535
This sounds exaggerated, especially for a battle that opened with a mutual cavalry charge.
>>368101
>some US police officer shot some guy running from arrest
>the US executed someone
see the difference
>perfidious Albion kills a virgin girl
Never trust a limey fuck.
>>368716
Bad example with the cop. A better example would be a trial followed by an execution. In which cases, yes, I would say the US executed someone.
Smugearlofwarwick.jpg
>Be French footman under Jean de Metz
>Hanging around in the garrison of Vaucoleur
>Shit sucks, have been locked in warfare with the English for almost a century know, and no sign of it ending
>Moral is on an all-time low
>Enter Jeanne
>She's some kind of peasant girl. A batshit insane peasant girl at that, won't stop babbling about going to Chinon to meet the Prince
>But god be my witness, she was hot.
>Shoulder-length black hair, soft tan, small but firm breasts, and dat ass
>Mother Maria of Jesus Christ, DAT ASS
>Most of the garnison hasn't plowed the field in what must be months. Some of us are this close to humping cattle, for fuck's sake (quite literally)
>Metz and his fellow Poulengy instantly whiteknight her in the faint hope of getting a farmer breakfast
>Thus, Jean and a small army of desperately thirsty soldiers go to Chinon
>Arrive in Chalon. King Charly is fully aware Jeanne is completely nuts, but also sees she managed to get an entire garrison to fight its way through Burgundian land
>Decides to make her the mascot of the French army as the later moves towards Orleans
>Soldiers donate her a sword and an entire set of plate armor in the faint hope of catching a glimpse while she changes clothes. They don't. Shortly afterwards, Jeanne stands before the men in full armor.
>Thus, de Metz's codpiece explodes (old lecher has a tomboy fetish)
>After a longish marsh, we arrive at Orleans. The city's been besieged for months, but the defenders are to fucking scared to attempt a sortie into the surrounding English camp
>In a brilliant tactical move, the local commander steals one of Jeanne's panties, binds it to a stone, and shoots it into the English camp with a catapult
>The earth shakes and the island monkeys are paralyzed with fear as not just every soldier, but every male inhabitant of Orleans above the age of twelve promptly sprints out of the city and storms towards their camp with a look of unyielding primal lust in their eyes
1/2
>Thus, the five-month siege of Orleans is lifted within a single day.
> Have an entire series of successful battles. Although the Duke of Alencon nominally has the command, Jeanne goes and the army follows.
> Eventually end up attacking Paris, as the defending English and Burgundians take a bloody toll from our forces. Still we press on.
> Disaster happens when the English suddenly send hordes of Parisian prostitutes into the French siege camp. Although Jeanne chases after them with the fury only fire-and-brimstone puritan (or a jealous teenage girl) can develop, the men nonetheless find ample of opportunity to take care of their needs
> More than half of the French army promptly deserts. Jeanne tries to take Paris with what few blue-blooded and blue-balled followers she still has, but gets a crossbow bolt to the knee and has to be evacuated from the battlefield, and the siege is lifted.
> Thus, the siege of Paris ended with King Charly frantically claiming he had ordered a withdrawal to lessen the humiliation.
> After a short truce with England, war resumes. Jeanne (who talked the king into making sex with a prostitute punishable by death in all of France) moves out to Compiegne in order to defend the city against a French-Burgundian siege.
Sorry, this is 2/3
> During a sortie to attack the Burgundian camp, we get into an ambush
> Jeanne is struck in the lower body by the longsword of an English knight. The blow is so powerful that it not only dismounts her and knocks her out, but also cuts precisely through her codpiece and the clothing beneath, but not an inch deeper
> As Jeanne lay there, her groin exposed for everyone to see, time seemed to freeze. I came to a sudden realization.
> It was a trap. This had been a trap all along
> AND I DON'T MEAN THE FUCKING AMBUSH
> The morale of the raiding group shrunk as fast as the boners that had risen in expectation of what their owners would see. As the Burgundian ambushers wouldn't stop laughing, we eventually just told them they could have "her" and then promptly deserted.
> And thus, Jeanne of Arc was "captured"
3/3
>>368306
>legitimate english claim
>>368892
>then he gets burned for double crossdressing
>>366847
French slag, dlete this.
>apotheosing crazy fanatical religious people
Absolutely retarded.
>>369208
I'm sorry that everybody can't fedorafags like you. Somebody needs to reproduce.
>>369875
>This is somehow relevant to the fact that you are literally deifying a 16 year old fanatical girl
>>369884
Why not? If Napoleon Bonaparte considered her a national hero, then who am I to argue?
>>367671
>>367535
>Although credited to Joan of Arc, most of the fighting took place at the vanguard of the French army and the battle was over before the main body could arrive.
Must feel like shit to be a French commander with all your glory stolen by everyone's favourite historical womyn
>>366847
She didnt defeat anything, she got burnt to death
>>368779
>limey
Why do Americans think this is offensive, or that most people even know what it means?
>>366847
>tfw you will never slaughter the englishmen with Jeanne d'Arc and her army of french devouts
>>367259
this retard is retarded
"Angevin" isn't necessarily anachronistic considering the fact that attempts at angevin revivals continued through the 100 years war. The 100 Years War is itself, essentially, an attempt at an Angevin revival.
But Plantagenet is definitely a more appropriate term.
Also
Catholic church didn't murder Jeanne D'Arc.
Catholic Church maintains to this day that it has never killed anyone, and whenever someone would regress into sin, they would be turned over to a secular court after being given a chance to repent.
>>366847
>still triggering anglos even today
truly a blessing of God
>>366847
Is there any video game where Joan appears and you get to fight alongside her?
>tfw you will never remove anglo with Joan at your side
I don't know why people have such a hard time believing that highly religious people could actually be motivated to follow a woman who they believed to be blessed by God. Especially during a time of desperation. There's no reason their religious fervor couldn't overcome societal sexism in those circumstances.
>>370521
There's a couple, but none of them look particularly good to me.
>>369884
Martyr glorification would happen without religion. Moral and all.
>>370521
WOLOLO
Who /glorifiedcheerleader/ here?
>I do not know if God loves or hates the English; all that I know is that He wants them out of France
This quote really gets to me for some reason.
>>370521
She's the leader of France in Civ 3
>>367624
But the scythians did do that that's what we get from our sources and you have none to back up your claim.
>>370521
There's a game where you play as Joan of Arc in a story of western dyeasty warriora. It's from like 2005 but you can find it on steam.
>Trusting a dirty, delusional, catholic FRENCH crossdresser
>>370521
>>371837
>Blonde
Disgusting. If there's one thing the japs do that make me so mad is make her blonde. every. single. time.
>>366847
>>368856
Fuck of Anglican
>>367403
Fuck off anglo
>>366847
glorified cheerleader tbqh
>>373065
The problem is that the anime art-style has no discernible racial features.
So literally the only way to communicate that a person isn't Japanese is to give the character blonde hair.
>>367584
>im drunk
wow you sure are a cool guy
>>373065
This is from a few decades after her death.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0a/Vigiles_du_roi_Charles_VII_02.jpg
>>377260
What's funny about that is that so many people described her as having short dark hair just a few years before.
>>367681
Nigga, I had no interest in this thread, but do you know how to use plural? Fuck me, if that's a meme it's like 9gag tier.
>>368306
I can't believe how butthurt some of you retards get because a woman led an army and beat up some english retards. Look at how retarded you look, trying to link up an actual canonized catholic saint with SJW shit. I mean there's even the fucking guy claiming she didn't exist at all.
>>370120
It's not like actual historians remember her as a fighter, though. It's like any time Boudicca gets brought up.
>>370521
AoE 2
>>370521
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwDzCiV4GZg
>>370897
Nigga, you just reminded me that you get to play her in AoE2.
I'm reinstalling that shit as soon as I can.
>>366847
Did Gilles De Rais do anything that could be considered morally "wrong"?
I'm surprised those comic pages of Joan/Jeanne/whatever her name was getting sodomized by a brit haven't been posted yet, ban be damned.
>>378968
You mean apart from raping and murdering kids?
>>370120
>expecting a 13 year old girl with no fighting training to kill grown men in battle
ishiggy diggy
>>367082
>Torturing and murdering a little girl out of fear to lose power
The English
>>366847
Jeanne de arc
>Kawaii
>>379710
Well she did pretty much just charge into the middle of the enemy waving a giant banner that everyone could see, and they'd pretty much go chasing after. That takes a ton of courage, so I don't see why people call her a "cheerleader".
>>379724
Still lost the war, lol.
>>367024
>Implying she didn't
>>367624
>>367584
>>367554
>>367496
>>367473
>>367285
>>367681
No, you're retarded. So stfu and gtfo
>>373065
>being this autistic
