>>1365649
Job 1:21
>And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
>>1365649
Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
Psalms 1:1
>>1365649
Numbers 22:28
Ezekiel 23:20
1 Corinthians 1:27
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
>>1366750
Kek
Exodus 22:18
Genesis 19:30-38
The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him ....” So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him..
Genesis 5:24
And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.
>>1366807
1 Corintians 1:27
And God chose the thin of the world to bodyshame the fat.
Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother's wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother's wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother. And what he did was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.
Gen. 38:8-10
All the verses where Jesus is violent.
He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys. From there he went on to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria.
2 Kings 2:23-25
In the morning, as he was returning to the city, he became hungry. And seeing a fig tree by the wayside, he went to it and found nothing on it but only leaves. And he said to it, “May no fruit ever come from you again!” And the fig tree withered at once.
Matt. 21:18-19
Went to Catholic school my whole life though never religious but I've always liked Luke 12:48
>To whom much is given, much is expected.
No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
Deut. 23:1
Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow, and you shall eat meat, for you have wept in the hearing of the Lord, saying, “Who will give us meat to eat? For it was better for us in Egypt.” Therefore the Lord will give you meat, and you shall eat. You shall not eat just one day, or two days, or five days, or ten days, or twenty days, but a whole month, until it comes out at your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you
Numbers 11:18-20
You shall not eat anything that has died naturally. You may give it to the sojourner who is within your towns, that he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner.
Deut. 14:21
>>1365649
Proverbs 28:22
>The stingy are eager to get rich and are unaware that poverty awaits them
"And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen."
John 21:25
It knocks down Bible worshippers.
Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king's enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king's son-in-law. Before the time had expired, David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king's son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.
1 Sam. 18:25-27
When she carried on her whoring so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned in disgust from her sister. Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses.
Ezekial 23:18-20
James 5.1-6
>>1367037
Very good one. Thanks for not being a fedora-tipper like 95% of the thread.
>>1368753
did we hurt you feelings is it? Just accept the bible for what is. A bunch maen written stories that are actually very funny after all this time.
>>1366847
The shameful origin of the Moabites and Ammonites.
>>1365649
"fuck this world I'm too old for the shit humans put up everyday. Peeeeeeaaaaace"
God, 20minutes.
>>1367063
Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
"This was written at least 400 years after the fact"
Ramblings 4.30
Ezekiel 25:17
OT: Ecclesiastes 1:2, Vulgata
"Vanitas vanitatum, dixit Ecclesiastes ; vanitas vanitatum, et omnia vanitas."
NT: Mark 1:3
"A messenger is calling out in the desert, ‘Prepare the way for the Lord. Make straight paths for him."
>>1368908
gb2/r/atheism
"I get knocked down"
Chumba Wumba 29:11
>>1369107
"But I get up again."
Chumba Wumba 29:12.
What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
Matt. 18:12-14
1 Kings 21:20
"hast thou found me o my enemy?"
"yes, I have found thee"
Psalm 137:9
>Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.
2 Kings 2:23-24
>From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.
>>1367063
Fun fact. Literally, it's not
>until it becomes loathsome to you
But rather
>until it comes out of your nose
Matt. 11:28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
1 Timothy 2:9-15
Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
Fallopians 6:21
And Jebadosha speaketh to the neighborhood hooligans saying, "if I catch any of you on my lawn again I will cut off the tips of your fingers with tin snips and the blood will squirt out like pee out of a dog!" And the Lord heard this and said it as good.
Matthew 21:12
Matthew 16:18
And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.
Psalms 23:4
>Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
>tfw it's the only verse I remember from my school days
Stupid question, but is the Bible worth reading?
>>1370443
About a quarter of it is.
When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.
"Unto the pure, all things are pure... but unto them that are defiled is nothing pure, but even their mind and conscience is defiled."
- Titus 1:15
>>1367183
BIG
>>1370443
Only if you are morbidly curious where these people are getting their paradigm from.
Matthew 12:31-32
>31 Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but jthe blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.
>32 And whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in m
this age or in the age to come.
Why would the Savior of Man leave a loophole?
numbers 31:17-18
Moses knows what he's talking about
>>1369072
He is right, you know. There are some great literary passages in the bible, but no claims about god and the after life are real.
There might be some sort of God, but nobody on Earth has ever talked with it. All religions are untrue.
John 5:41
"I receive not honour from men."
It describes my life perfectly
>>1365649
job 1:20
god took all his shit away
"And God said unto Moses, I Am That I Am: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I Am hath sent me unto you."
- Exodus 3:14
"Who is like unto thee, O Lord, among the gods? who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?"
- Exodus 15:11
"And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him! Who then can understand the thunder of his power?”
- Job 26:14
"I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."
- Job 42:2-3
"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."
- Isaiah 9:6
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
- Isaiah 55:8-9
"For the day of the Lord is near upon all the heathen: as thou hast done, it shall be done unto thee: thy reward shall return upon thine own head."
- Obadiah 1:15
"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."
- Luke 22:42
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
- John 1:1
"When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!"
- Romans 6:20-21
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
- Romans 8:28
"For when they speak great swelling words of vanity, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through much wantonness, those that were clean escaped from them who live in error. While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage."
- 2 Peter 2:18-19
"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last."
- Revelation 22:13
1Who is this coming from Edom,
from Bozrah, with his garments stained crimson?
Who is this, robed in splendor,
striding forward in the greatness of his strength?
“It is I, proclaiming victory,
mighty to save.”
2Why are your garments red,
like those of one treading the winepress?
3“I have trodden the winepress alone;
from the nations no one was with me.
I trampled them in my anger
and trod them down in my wrath;
their blood spattered my garments,
and I stained all my clothing.
4It was for me the day of vengeance;
the year for me to redeem had come.
5I looked, but there was no one to help,
I was appalled that no one gave support;
so my own arm achieved salvation for me,
and my own wrath sustained me.
6I trampled the nations in my anger;
in my wrath I made them drunk
and poured their blood on the ground.”
Isaiah 63:1-6
>>1365649
>And I put lube on his firm member and slowly inserted him into my anus.
Dick 6:9
>In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
>on the eighth day god created the packers.
Lombardi ?:¿
John 11:35:
Jesus wept.
Luke 23:43:
And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.
Said to the thief on the cross
Revelation 21:6
He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.
>>1370443
Yes. It helps if you have a good commentary or study version, too.
If you have no familiarity with the Bible, you do not possess the means to be literate in Western civilization.
