Does this country have the most boring history in the world?
>>1223273
Not seeing a leaf there.
>>1223273
No that would be this country.
>>1223279
Hello Juan.
>>1223279
Not really. Non-American here btw.
I think that would be Canada and Aus/NZ.
>>1223392
>Get colonized
>Shoot all the native peoples
>Fight some wars
>Deal with some black people's rights
>Fight some MORE wars
>Fight Vietnam
>Fight Korea
Yeah, he's about right.
Switzerland's History is awesome. It's like a confederation of people who fucked shit up so hard that everyone wanted them to go fight for them.
>>1223404
>Switzerland
>Lose to France.
>Become eternally neutral
>Overpopulation + lack of opportunities in homeland leads to Swiss becoming meme mercenaries.
>???
>Become European Bank/Meeting place due to eternal neutrality.
Hey, I can trivialize Swiss history with meme arrows too.
>>1223273
Templar history is anything but boring.
>>1223279
It's bottom-middle tier.
What's really uninteresting are places like Latvia, Cambodia, Azerbajan, much of the Brit colonies and almost the entirety of Africa.
>>1223279
buiLD WALL BEANER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGg2EJkGbe0
>>1223415
As an Australian, I can tell you nothing of consequence has ever happened in this country, and nothing ever will, for several reasons. Yes, it is entirely possible to trivialise 21 million people living on a rock that's never had a war waged on it.
>>1223273
Hey, I'm Schweiss and fug you :DDD
Switzerland has a really cool history. Here, let me tell you about my people.
>Swiss History: Greentext Edition
>So some cities who live in the Alps decide to Ally themselves to eachother to make sure bandits dont grab their stuff. This is in 1291, there's a charter for it.
>Turns out the benefits of having security with your friends is neat, it's nice to have friends.
>Also turns out that because these cantons are close to France and Austria, the Emperor is kind of chill with these lands having no kings except for him, so they kind of just rule themselves, mostly
>They figure out something called a Landsgemeinde, which is literally a non-secret ballot on public issues within the Canton. It's one of the world's oldest direct democracies, fuck off Athenians.
>The Emperor is okay with all this because he's a chill guy and this Swiss alliance is a good thing to help him fight the Habsburgs, so this is all fine.
>And then he fucking dies
>The Crown for the HRE goes up into the air, and the Austrians try to enforce their grasp on the HRE's throne a bit more firmly, which the cantons don't really likes, particularly as they were enjoying their independence, and the whole 'Landsgemeinde is against the absolute power of the King and 'illegal' under Austrian rule' thing
>They team up on the side of the Bavarians to save themselves.
>Meanwhile, this Landsgemeinde thing is going on quite nicely, until it draws some peasants into conflict with an Abbey protected by Austria over grazing lands for their cows.
>Naturally the peasants are peaceful people and decide to leave this perfectly good bit of land alone.
>Haha no they actually break in and steal all the gold from inside it because remove habsburg.
>Habsburgs: "WAD DE FUGG :DDD SILLY SCHWEISS OK WE'LL FIGHT YOU"
>>1223549
This is true. We all know damn well why there isn't a history class in public schools.
>>1223462
>Anyone in Southeast Asia/Caucasus
>Not interesting
Niqqa....
>>1223569
swiss humor, everyone.
>>1223569
>Now, the confederacy at this point is made up of Uri, Schwyz and Unterwalden, who kind of sound like dwarven brothers
>The Austrians march a force of about 8000 (including 2500 HEAVY cavalry) [Hanhart] down through a pass to try to put down this '''rebellion``` of the democratic peasants
>It's led by Leopold HABSBURG :DDD I, brother of Frederick, king of Austria, so you know it's serious
>Uri and Schwyz shit themselves correctly and turn to face the enemy, while Unterwalden shit themselves incorrectly, literally go to the wrong village and build a wall there, thinking that's where the Austrians attack.
>Meanwhile, Leopold decides that it would be smart to send some advance word to the town he intends to attack to tell the rebels there to disperse
>It has the opposite affect, the Rebels set up an Ambush at Morgarten, where there is a very steep slope and a swamp
>1500 conscripts drop logs, stones and rocks on the Austrians below, driving some into the swamp before charging with long Halberds, killing some 1500 Austrians
>The rest of the Austrians flee, the Confederacy Stands against de Habsburgs
>Louis IV wins the throne and re-affirms the cantons' status as Reichsfrei (autonomy under the emperor)
>In the years that follow, Most of Uri and Schwyz' neighbours think it's a great idea to join up with this Habsburg-removing force, mostly so they can also be granted Reichsfreiheit
>Urseren, which is within Habsburg-controlled lands, joins in 1317, much to the displeasure of the Habsburgs
>Lucerne signs up to the alliance in 1332
>These communities are known as the Waldstätten
>Meanwhile
>They even overthrow their mayor in 1336 for trying to infringe on trade and craftspeoples, electing a new mayor who was the leader of the guilds
>An aristocratic uprising from the nearby Habsburg town of Rapperswil is forcefully put down in 1350
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8RW3K3hhWU
I'd say some Pacific island nation. Its basically
> Some warlord unites the island
> Some Europeans come in say its theirs and dock the occasional ship
> Japs invade in WW2
> Post-WW2 independence and/or American/New Zealand/Australian colony
Maybe some cool art and mythology though.
>>1223738
Whoops.
>Meanwhile, in Zürich, the Landsgemeinde is busy trying to get rid of its nobility problem
>>1223738
>They do such a good job of putting it down that they burn the castle to the ground and kill the opposition leader, an Austrian noble
>If this seems familiar in any way, it's because it is
>Habsburgs: WAD DE FUGG :DD
>They go and siege Zürich, but start to regret it in about Mid-October and really regret it by December, and eventually lose a battle in the Winter
>Glorious Habsburg tears
>Zürich joins the confederacy in 1351
>They go on to take two more cities - Glarus and Zug - from the Austrians, but eventually have to give the cities back under the peace of Regensburg, signed by the new emperor, Charles IV
>But he does recognise the guild laws in Zürich as valid, and also gives it Reichsfrei status
>Meanwhile in the West, the Waldstätten jumps into bed with Bern, a city-state who up until this point has not much to do with the Confederacy
>Bern gets into a dispute with Savoy over territory, which drag the confederacy into a war with Savoy AND the habsburgs
>The Battle of Laupen takes place
>
>6,000 Bernese and 1,000 confederate peasants with pikes march to relieve Laupen, which is under siege
>16,000 Savoyard and Habsburg infantry, and 1,000 heavy cavalry
>The Bernese attempt to set up a line of crossbows and slingers to harass the Savoyards on the approach
>When they retreat behind the Bernese infantry, as many as 1500 of them think it's some kind of mass retreat and run away into the forest [Carey]
>
>Of course, the Bernese and Confederates smash them, killing Baron Louis II of Vaud's son and killing all their cavalry again
>Bern signs up, and hey presto, you have the Bund der Acht Orte, the first easily identifiable Swiss 'State'
>>1223462
how is Latvia's history boring?
>>1223806
So, in summary, three southern german cities beat up Habsburgs because democracy and guilds running things is better than stupid kings and other shit like that. Some other german cities decided they wanted to beat up Habsburgs as well, and then this alliance of southern german cities who hated Habsburgs continued to beat up Habsburgs until they were sufficiently removed enough to call it a state.
And that's literally the first fourty years of Swiss History, beating the shit out of Habsburgs. They even go back to reconquer Zug and a bunch of Austrian lands. Leopold III tries to go grab an army and bring us back under control. 2500 infantry and 1500 horse meet 1400 Swiss pikes in the mountains (to which the Austrians promptly lost again), which prompted another Austrian canton to join the confederacy.
The original confederacy becomes so good at removing Habsburgs they even beat his heir in a battle two years later to hang onto it. They become so good at removing Habsburgs and fighting in general that the Pope and Northern Italian states employ a bunch of Swiss guys to fight for them and the tactics for warfare at that time become completely flipped on their head.
This is why everyone talks about Swiss tactics being amazing. They beat one of the biggest powers in Europe, three times, with barely any training.
Fuck the Habsburgs.
>>1223837
You try to explain swiss history, but all you do is describing the events that happened in today's central Switzerland. Bern and Zurich and other cities are far more important for the understanding of swiss history.
>>1223404
I mean, you can really say that about any history, really:
>Get colonized (by Rome)
>fight a shit ton of wars amongst self
>like, a ton of wars
>eventually unify (ish)
>fight more wars
>fight a civil war
>fight more wars
>fight another civil war
>fight more wars
>deal with some black people's rights
>start shooting all natives everywhere
>fight more wars
>give up all territories
>argentina lmao
>>1224275
Forgot to mention that was English history, but that's probably obvious.
Oh, somewhere in the middle of that should be:
>King invents religion
>>1224116
>described the formation of the Old confederacy and the events that created the Eidgenossenschaft and then the Acht Orte
>implying this is somehow not the start of what is now called 'Switzerland'
Yes, I suppose if you want to get picky this is not the absolute history of the Swiss people.
Good thing OP asked for the history of the country of Switzerland, and not the entire space-time continuum that led up to a bunch of people that might perhaps maybe be called swiss living in an area
t. Prick
>>1224333
Stay calm.
I really enjoyed your brief summary. I just want to point out, that this is a very teleologic point of view. I really recommend you "Gründungszeit ohne Eidgenossen" by Roger Sablonier, if you're interested in this historical era.
![3083918-Sleepy-Laptop-Boy-Stock-Photo-computer-sleeping-boy[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Jlq9c6i.jpg "3083918-Sleepy-Laptop-Boy-Stock-Photo-computer-sleeping-boy[1].jpg")
>>1223569
>>1223738
>>1223806
>>1223273
medkit isn't a country
only western country with a civil war that nobody remembered or noticed
>>1223569
>Landsgemeinde
>gibs my lands
>>1223368
